ID4 VS Seinfeld Lantern Corps

[TithonusSyndrome]

July 1, 1996. While the ID4 mothership slips past the Earth's Moon preparing for invasion, in New York City one Cosmo Kramer is bustling frantically to deliver the toxic envelopes that had recently been responsible for the death of George's fiancée Susan to Bob Sacamano for whatever he can barter them for. Hours later, he is back in Jerry's apartment with a jumble of heirlooms; four rings and a beat up old lantern, as it would appear to be.

Jerry is initially unimpressed as always and for a few days the rings lie on his table unmoved, but after George dons one and spontaneously summons a shield bubble to protect himself from Elaine's aggressive injunctions to take it off, he immediately pieces the origin and purpose of the rings together as any devout DC fan would... and not a moment too soon, as the city-destroyers ominously slide into place above Manhattan. He frantically lectures the other three about the nature and power of the Lantern Rings, and aware that something isn't right, the four of them slip on the rings, grab the lantern and take flight.

Can the Seinfeld Lantern Corps do anything to avert the destruction of New York, halt the city-destroyers or otherwise alter the events of Independence Day for the better?

[Elheru Aran]

...This is random.

Are they Green rings, Red rings, etc? Or just generic Power Rings?

Apart from the Blue and Indigo rings, which seem notably less powerful than other Rings, most of them have pretty similar capabilities though. I guess they can't be Orange rings since there was only one (Luthor's being a notable exception, IIRC Larfleeze took it back very quickly).

For anybody not familiar with a Power Ring: Generally they will turn your current outfit into an uniform based upon Ring powers, grant you the power of flight (over interstellar distances at that so space travel also comes with it), and depending on the specific power subset, you get various abilities such as projecting mental constructs via willpower, fear, love, rage and so forth.

I suspect strongly that the Seinfeld Corps simply don't have time in this scenario to really come to understand the range of powers available to them. They might be able to travel to safety, perhaps taking some people along with them, but for the most part they're a bunch of tools. They're not going to be popping city-destroyers right and left. The Green Lantern Corps could, Jordan and Rayner with ease especially; Sinestro, Arkillo and Atrocitus could probably make a dent in them; Larfleeze would probably try to eat them. Not sure the Star Sapphires could take them, and I don't think the Indigo Corps would be very interested. The Black Lanterns... eh, I don't know. They were more like a massive zombie horde than anything else, frankly. Blue Lanterns aren't fighters, they're more like mobile power amplifiers for the other Lanterns... though I would dearly love to see Brother Warth go kung-fu on one of the ID4 aliens, whispering soothing mantras into its ear-thing...

[Elheru Aran]

Oh, just thought of something. The Power Rings do tend to be a form of Universal Translator. So it's possible that they might be able to communicate with the aliens. Being the Seinfeld Gang though... they're as likely to piss them off as anything.

EDIT: I don't know if it's obvious yet, but I never liked Seinfeld very much...

[TithonusSyndrome]

Jerry is a lifelong DC fan ("he's the Got-No-Green Lantern!") and George has demonstrated the ability to speak fluently with Jerry about the franchise, so they at least already have some strong background notions about what a Power Ring can do. Kramer, who knows; really only Elaine will be totally clueless about the finer details of comic book relics.

This means that while they may not be able to utterly crush the ID4s with overwhelming upper-end lantern juice, they may be able to apply what they do know about the franchise to find some other way of stopping them, like phasing through the shields and killing the ship's command crew; the question isn't whether or not they know enough about lantern rings to do this, it's whether or not they have the willpower or general competence to do it.

[U.P. Cinnabar]

Oh, just thought of something. The Power Rings do tend to be a form of Universal Translator. So it's possible that they might be able to communicate with the aliens. Being the Seinfeld Gang though... they're as likely to piss them off as anything.

EDIT: I don't know if it's obvious yet, but I never liked Seinfeld very much...

Maybe, since Jerry and George are both dead from the neck up, they're black power rings.

[Batman]

'July 1, 1996' The Rainbow Rings haven't been invented yet, it's Alan's 'magic' ring, Sinestro's yellow one, the classic Corps rings and Kyle's 'no limitations' one, so probably 4 of the classic Corps rings. Which should be plenty to wipe the floor with the aliens (Green Lanterns play in the big leagues) IF the Seinfeld goons know how to properly use them. Given the trouble Oliver had using Hal's backup in 'Rebirth' I'm far from certain they would.

[SpottedKitty]

At some point there has to be a version of the scene in Iron Man where Tony's testing the boot jets and discovers low ceilings are not a good idea for flight testing...

[wautd]

July 1, 1996. While the ID4 mothership slips past the Earth's Moon preparing for invasion, in New York City one Cosmo Kramer is bustling frantically to deliver the toxic envelopes that had recently been responsible for the death of George's fiancée Susan to Bob Sacamano for whatever he can barter them for.

Heh...what a coincidence. I saw that episode like a week ago.

On topic, Jerry and George might do some good against the aliens but I'd be terrified to see Kramer with a ring. He might be as dangerous for New York as a city destroyer.

[Simon_Jester]

The Green Lantern rings run on willpower.

Are these people going to be able to muster sufficient willpower to use them?

[Elheru Aran]

'July 1, 1996' The Rainbow Rings haven't been invented yet, it's Alan's 'magic' ring, Sinestro's yellow one, the classic Corps rings and Kyle's 'no limitations' one, so probably 4 of the classic Corps rings. Which should be plenty to wipe the floor with the aliens (Green Lanterns play in the big leagues) IF the Seinfeld goons know how to properly use them. Given the trouble Oliver had using Hal's backup in 'Rebirth' I'm far from certain they would.

Well the Rainbow Rings were kinda retconned to go back pretty much to the founding of the Corps... but yes, no Rainbow Rings in '96. You're forgetting the Star Sapphires though.

Interesting detail, IIRC the yellow weakness was still around back then, though if Kyle is the only legit Green Lantern (I wasn't reading comics back then so...) he didn't have a problem with it simply because he didn't know about it. Jerry might well know, though. Don't think it'll make that much of a difference, not sure there's enough yellow paint on the planet to cover all those ships...

[Enigma]

Don't the Green Lanterns have a no killing rule built into the rings?

[Batman]

As Hal killed a number of fellow Lanterns when he Parallaxed and Clark was worried over Kyle killing people by the truckload during 'Last Laugh' I'm dubious that's actually a hardwired feature. Part of the Lantern code of conduct, probably, but not something the ring absolutely positively won't let you do.

Not that I see why they'd need to IF they manage to master the rings. Just toss the buggers in the Lesser Magellanic Cloud or something.

[U.P. Cinnabar]

As Hal killed a number of fellow Lanterns when he Parallaxed and Clark was worried over Kyle killing people by the truckload during 'Last Laugh' I'm dubious that's actually a hardwired feature. Part of the Lantern code of conduct, probably, but not something the ring absolutely positively won't let you do.

Not that I see why they'd need to IF they manage to master the rings. Just toss the buggers in the Lesser Magellanic Cloud or something.

Too bad the rings don't let you open a portal into the Phantom Zone. Or do they, and I missed it?

[TithonusSyndrome]

The Green Lantern rings run on willpower.

Are these people going to be able to muster sufficient willpower to use them?

That's really the question this all hinges on, isn't it? The most determined and willful member of the Seinfeld Corps is Elaine, who has succeeded in climbing the corporate ladder at Jay Peterman and graduated Tufts University, and she knows the least about the Power Rings. George is arguably next most determined when he sets his mind to something or at the very least is incensed, but also the most easily discouraged when encountering frustration.

The closest Jerry comes to exhibiting "willpower" is basic work ethic required to succeed in comedy, and little else; the entire premise of the show orbits around the venality and aloofness he embodies. Finally, although athletic, Kramer is scatterbrained, paranoid and noncommittal, likely the biggest liability to the Corps by a long shot.

[Parallax]

The No Killing Rule of the GL Rings is a 'software' limitation. If the ring detects the user is attempting to kill another sentient being, it does a variety of things - from simply ignoring the command and giving a warning, shutting itself down, or flying the GL back to Oa for disciplinary action.

The Guardians removed the No Killing rule much later. First only against the Sinestro Corps and then against ... everyone.

I don't see the Seinfeld friends being able to use the Rings via willpower, however. There was a scene in Green Lantern: Rebirth #6(?) wherein Oliver Queen had to use a GL Ring. Due to his nature/outlook being cynical, the effort of shooting just one arrow out of the ring nearly killed him.

[Elheru Aran]

I don't see the Seinfeld friends being able to use the Rings via willpower, however. There was a scene in Green Lantern: Rebirth #6(?) wherein Oliver Queen had to use a GL Ring. Due to his nature/outlook being cynical, the effort of shooting just one arrow out of the ring nearly killed him.

Of course there have been cases where people just pick up a GL ring and use it right off... so lol continuity? *shrugs* I won't bother trying to rationalize it. For the purposes of the OP, it makes sense that everybody can use it; the question is how *effectively* or powerfully they can do so. The Ring has what amounts to a very low-powered computer; possibly it can monitor the immediate situation around it and decide what to do, to a very limited degree (note protecting GL's who are knocked unconscious in space, flying back to Oa or looking for a new bearer, etc). Kinda depends on the writer...

[Parallax]

The AI of the rings can be quite smart, usually. Automatic shields (atmospheric, protective), universal translations, constant recording of events, environmental scans and so forth.
It can't make constructs or use advanced features without the wearer willing it to, however.

[TithonusSyndrome]

Will the rings allow an "indirect death", IE, if George blows up the main city-buster weapon with a well-placed shot and the crew of the ship dies?

[Elheru Aran]

As long as it's not painted yellow (unless these are post-Kyle rings).

Though one does need to bear in mind that an ID4 city-destroyer ship going down on top of Manhattan probably wouldn't do it any good...

[TithonusSyndrome]

With a Seinfeld Corps of four, having one member blow up the ship and the other hurl it out to sea might be within whatever meager willpower they can bring to bear on the subject. This is probably a fair arrangement and the Corps could split in two to halt as many city-destroyers as possible, assuming that there are arrangements of two that won't simply bicker or kvetch the whole time - Jerry with George and Elaine with Kramer might work, although I don't know which roles would be safer with whom.

[Batman]

We've SEEN those ships. They were most definitely NOT painted yellow.

[Elheru Aran]

We've SEEN those ships. They were most definitely NOT painted yellow.

Yeah, and that contradicts what I was saying how?

A repeat of John Stewart's screw-up on... what was it, Ranx? won't do here.

[GuppyShark]

The best they could accomplish initially would be to shield people, hook up with the main cast and assist them. Even together, they won't be able to muster the firepower to take down the alien fleet. We've seen what happens when a completely random* person gets a ring - they don't display anywhere near that level of destructive capability.

On the other hand I could definitely see the dramatic appeal of George getting riled up and blasting the first planet-killer weapon as it's preparing to fire, a feat they wouldn't be able to repeat (the aliens would learn from that).

* Later retconned, of course.

[Simon_Jester]

If the aliens learn not to fire their main city-destroying weapons, surely that counts as a win...

[Elheru Aran]

If the aliens learn not to fire their main city-destroying weapons, surely that counts as a win...

Sure... but they're still pretty much impregnable to our weapons, full of a legion of alien ground troops (or at least the mothership was, but come on, the city-busters are way too big to not have a pretty decent force aboard each one), and all they really need to do to create quite a bit of devastation is to bring the ship down on *top* of the city. The thing is fricking 15 km in diameter. That's going to squish pretty much any urban area rather well, and I'm rather dubious as to whether Seinfeld-Lanterns could muster the willpower to hold something that big up.