The strangest, most wild fanfiction you've ever read..

[FancyDarcy]

What are some of the weirdest or incoherent fan fictions you've ever read on the Net?

[The Romulan Republic]

There are some questions that are better not asked.

Edit: Not the worst idea out there, but for shear strange premises, well... off the top of my head, I've seen My Little Pony/Dresden Files crossover fics.

[LadyTevar]

There are some questions that are better not asked.

Edit: Not the worst idea out there, but for shear strange premises, well... off the top of my head, I've seen My Little Pony/Dresden Files crossover fics.

That one wasn't that bad.
MLP/Warhammer40K on the other hand......

[The Romulan Republic]

Well, actually, there can be a lot of merit to crossing over a light, fluffy setting with a darker one, as long as you don't let one approach dominate the other. You can get a lot of drama (or humour) out of the contrast.

[Mr Bean]

See we have a problem here of weirdest and incoherent because those are two different things. There's things like Fallout:Equestria Ponies+Fallout or Finish the Fight Halo+Dungeons and Dragons or the various cross overs you can find in our fanfic forum like Salvation War.

Weird is one thing, incoherent is another, weird but good is hard but weird but bad is VERY VERY easy.

[Marko Dash]

i'm not sure, when on FF.net i've taken to limiting stories shown to 60-100k words, the dreck tends to die off before hitting those levels. also try to ignore any OC is main character fics (although i kind of like ME verse Self Insert fics) to avoid any 'my immortal/twilight' levels of angsty teen wish fulfilment.

But... the fanfic that's the most weird batshit for the sake of batshit that i've been able to read (mostly) all the way through would have to be the UNPF spawned in our very own wretched hive of scum and villainy.

[Darth Lucifer]

In my experience, the play-by-forum RPG stuff produced some of the wanktastic Mary Sues and bad writing, far worse than any fanfic I've ever laid eyes on. Here's a sample I have archived on my PC because I saved it specifically for threads like this one.

Name: Xeniph T'Pree
Ship: U.S.S Enterprise
Rank/Position: Currently activated to the rank of commander, is sort of a "maid of all work" aboard the Enterprise. You name it, she does it.
Species: It's Complicated.
Age: Older than she'd like to admit, somewhere around 500...appears 15 naturally.
Personality: Cares very deeply about people, loves life, is fairly optimistic.
Bio: Xen was born the result of an expirement by a few early Federation scientists. Their question was essentially this: "If we bred every known species, what would we get?" The experiment took years, and there is some suspicion that the Q took an interest in the project as well, because shuttles would disappear and then show up years later with the occupant impregnated by an unknown species. As a result of this exotic combination, Xen has many powers bringing her to be even more powerful than a Q. When Xen was born, she was tested for the first 5 years of her life to see what she could do. During this time, she went through the Academy virtually, and through virtual ship experience gained the rank of Admiral. Currently, however, she only has activated up to the rank of Commander, because she prefers serving under others. When she was 5, the scientists-that-be decided that she was too dangerous to have around. Despite the fact that she had made command level decisions with great dexterity, they still considered her capacity at the level of a child, and if the enemies were to kidnap her and convince her that they were the 'good guys...' they would be in for a lot of hurt. To resolve this, they decided to send her to an asteroid where she would remain until the age of 18. At that time, she would be allowed to come back to the Federation.

Because she is more powerful, however, a Q took this opportunity to try to destroy her (not the Q, most of the Continuum remain largely unaware of her existence). The result was that the shuttle was catapulted backwards in time, and Xen lost her memory of everything before. She grew up on earth, always knowing she was different but never knowing why, until she was approximately 200 or so. She named herself "Xeniph" because of the "X" tattoo that rests between her neck and shoulder (she was called "Experiment X" by the scientists). Then the first Enterprise discovered her, and brought her back. She discovered who she was from hidden Starfleet records Spock found for her. Since she has been found to be logical much of the time, and she is not wholly Vulcan, she obtained permission from the Vulcan high council to behave "as her uniqueness dictates," but to observe restraint around other Vulcans. This, she quite happily does.

As of the past few years, she has been traveling around helping others. She assigned herself to the Enterprise [D] after all this time, and is excited to begin her work there.

Appearance: She has a prehensile tail, too, that looks like a cat's and is the same colour as her hair.
Other: Powers: Telekinesis, regeneration, extremely long life, manipulating energy fields, "Time-skipping"

[Zaune]

A couple of stand-outs:

I'm not going to name it, but there's a Harry Potter fanfic out there that takes the harem genre to heights (or depths) never equalled before or since. He manages to shag pretty much every named female character in the books, Hogwarts (it's a genius loci), a couple of members of the Royal Family, about fifty OCs and... Hedwig. Yes, his pet owl. And this was just the first in a planned trilogy.

The Riddle of Steel, a weird Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfic that's a sort of crossover with Conan the Barbarian in which Shinji finds the Roundworld answer to Inne Juste 7 Dayes I wille make you a Barbearian Hero! and turns out to be much, much better at it than Nijel the Destroyer.

Oh, and I'm indirectly responsible (in the sense that someone drew inspiration to the point of being a bit derivative of my own works) for a Kerbal Space Program/Event Horizon crossover. Sadly it stalled out after the first couple of chapters.

[Tribble]

Not technically fan-fiction, but this is among the more bizarre things I've come across (yes it's real):

[The Romulan Republic]

A couple of stand-outs:

I'm not going to name it, but there's a Harry Potter fanfic out there that takes the harem genre to heights (or depths) never equalled before or since. He manages to shag pretty much every named female character in the books, Hogwarts (it's a genius loci), a couple of members of the Royal Family, about fifty OCs and... Hedwig. Yes, his pet owl. And this was just the first in a planned trilogy.

Sorry, I just... that's, like, Peak Bad Fanfiction.

Is it possible for an entire genre or artistic medium to jump the shark?

[Zaune]

All I know is that it's one of those fics that the non-toxic parts of the fandom (and yes, the HP fandom does have some) have come to an unspoken mutual consensus not to speak of ever again, except as a cautionary tale.

[Micro-Balrog]

I'm not going to name it, but there's a Harry Potter fanfic out there that takes the harem genre to heights (or depths) never equalled before or since. He manages to shag pretty much every named female character in the books, Hogwarts (it's a genius loci), a couple of members of the Royal Family, about fifty OCs and... Hedwig. Yes, his pet owl. And this was just the first in a planned trilogy.

Let me just ask: is this a crack fick?

Because I feel we should exclude things that are intentionally written as crack fics.

[SolarpunkFan]

There was a certain Thomas Day Out involving oil, weak-feeling wheels and Gordon deciding to make Thomas his bitch.

It seems to have disappeared off of Fanfiction.net though. Oh well.

[Zaune]

Let me just ask: is this a crack fick?

Because I feel we should exclude things that are intentionally written as crack fics.

Good question. I have learned from experience, somewhat to my consternation, that it's quite possible to unintentionally write a crack fic.

[Swindle1984]

Fluffy ponies. Just... fluffy ponies.

A quick rundown: Hasbro, eager to make even more money off of My Little Pony, buys out the remnants of InGen/develops the technology independently (canon varies from author to author) and forms its own genetic engineering firm, Hasbio. Which creates fluffy ponies, little horses covered in brightly colored fluff (hence the name), roughly the size of a housecat or small dog, blessed with human speech (and a deliberately included speech impediment, because it's 'cute') and the intelligence of a 2 to 4 year old human; the intent being to engineer an incredibly expensive designer pet completely unlike anything on the market. While the fluffy ponies are still in the beta stage of development, PETA learns of their creation, breaks into the lab, and 'liberates' them into the wild... flooding the environment with talking, idiotic, naive, technicolor ponies that breed exponentially and become a massive environmental threat, as well as a constant nuisance flooding the cities, begging everyone they see to take them home, eating trash, getting run over by cars, etc. Despite being very stupid by human standards, lacking the survival instincts of most animals, believing the rest of the world is as friendly and cheerful as they are, and being incredibly fragile, fluffies not only manage to reproduce faster than their (staggering) death rate, they're becoming a global catastrophe due to overpopulation.

Stories tend to fall into one of several categories:

1) Hugbox. The story is cute and adorable, as are the fluffy ponies. Everyone is happy. Many such stories are slice-of-life, either from the perspective of the fluffy pony itself or the owner of one.

2) Hurtbox/abuse. Fluffy ponies exist solely to suffer, and people delight in crushing the spirits (and bones) of these innocent, adorable creatures before they die a brutal, graphic death for no reason other than "because fuck you". Less extreme, but still common, are stories featuring exterminators dealing with the endless hordes of fluffy ponies and the problems they inadvertently cause.

3) Sadbox. The story has a tragic ending. Often overlaps between hugbox (the fluffy is innocent and cute, and you are meant to sympathize with it) and abuse (horrible things happen to the fluffy), with the intent that you feel sorry for it.

4) Weirdbox. Usually these are intentionally bizarre or incomprehensible stories, but sometimes they're genuinely WTF territory because the author is just that terrible/deranged.





And that's just a very basic explanation of the premise. There is an entire, constantly evolving, canon to these stories that changes as authors introduce new concepts or old ones become predominant (originally the point of an abuse story was that the fluffy was entirely undeserving of the horrible things happening to it; the current trend seems to be to make certain the fluffy in question is a worthless shithead that definitely has it coming), and it's next to impossible to keep track of if you're like me and binge on stories for a few months just to see what this particular, possibly unhinged, corner of the internet has come up with and then lose interest entirely.

But yeah. Fluffy ponies. Fucking weird, but a remarkably cohesive concept.

[Crossroads Inc.]

"My Little Pony" seemed a popular one, during its heyday, it pretty much crossed over ANY universe.

Some of the more memorable and twisted ones.
There was one where Rorschach from Watchmen ends up in (turns out he was disintegrated but teleported to another universe)
That one as you can imagine got dark when Rorschach begins to meet out his particular brand of "Justice" to Equestria...
And of course there is the Infamous "Fallout Equestrian" as well as the various "Warhamemr 40k + Equestria" cross overs...

[PhoenixKnig]

"My Little Pony" seemed a popular one, during its heyday, it pretty much crossed over ANY universe.

Some of the more memorable and twisted ones.
There was one where Rorschach from Watchmen ends up in (turns out he was disintegrated but teleported to another universe)
That one as you can imagine got dark when Rorschach begins to meet out his particular brand of "Justice" to Equestria...
And of course there is the Infamous "Fallout Equestrian" as well as the various "Warhamemr 40k + Equestria" cross overs...

Side note: My Little Pony did show up on death battle between one of the characters in My Little Pony and Deadpool. It was funny

[Swindle1984]

There's also a horrifying story, which I've heard details of but never actually read myself, where someone makes a My Little Pony virtual reality run by an advanced AI that slowly begins to take over the world, assimilate and upload all human beings into the VR world as ponies, and then begins to expand into the rest of the galaxy, assimilating and uploading alien species deemed 'human enough' and exterminating those that aren't, converting all mass into computronium, with the goal of assimilating all 'human' life as ponies so they can be happy forever. Supposedly it's pretty well written, and the AI running everything is terrifyingly realistic in its literal interpretation of its instructions and it's utter ruthlessness and cleverness in carrying them out.

I'm not sure what it is that makes My Little Pony so popular with grown men. I decided not to be my usual judgemental self and actually sit down to watch an episode in hopes of seeing what the appeal was. It's a good enough show for my niece, but I just don't get why men in their 20's and 30's are obsessed with it.

[Khaat]

Bit young for me, but:
http://nationalpost.com/life/bronies-ex ... k-they-are

Bronyism is specifically about “My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic,” a cartoon reboot that emerged in 2010, with vague similarities to the classic but an entirely new sensibility. It was launched by Lauren Faust, an animator with solid feminist-hipster credentials, who had grown up loving the original, but clearly wanted to propel it into the new century.

Writing for the A.V. Club in 2011, Todd VanDerWerff called it “legitimately entertaining and lots of fun,” citing the stylish animation, fresh humor, surprisingly complex story lines and relentlessly cheery vibe.

Otherwise, there's a market for anything.

[Zaune]

There's also a horrifying story, which I've heard details of but never actually read myself, where someone makes a My Little Pony virtual reality run by an advanced AI that slowly begins to take over the world, assimilate and upload all human beings into the VR world as ponies, and then begins to expand into the rest of the galaxy, assimilating and uploading alien species deemed 'human enough' and exterminating those that aren't, converting all mass into computronium, with the goal of assimilating all 'human' life as ponies so they can be happy forever. Supposedly it's pretty well written, and the AI running everything is terrifyingly realistic in its literal interpretation of its instructions and it's utter ruthlessness and cleverness in carrying them out.

You're talking about Friendship Is Optimal, which is one of the best psychological horror stories I've ever read.

Unfortunately, not everyone who read it understood that it was psychological horror, not wish fulfillment.

[Sidewinder]

FanFiction.net is flooded with "Wrong Boy-Who-Lived" Harry Potter stories in which the actual Boy-Who-Lived is some Mary Sue self-insert who James and Lily Potter (the self-insert's parents, who somehow survived Voldemort's attack) ignore in favor of a hideously spoiled Harry Potter. Character assassinations abound.

[Sidewinder]

Oh, and the Dursleys raise the self-insert in those "Wrong Boy-Who-Lived" stories, despite the fact James and Lily Potter are still alive (and raising Harry Potter themselves). Can you say, "Whiny edge lord"?

[The Romulan Republic]

Oh, and the Dursleys raise the self-insert in those "Wrong Boy-Who-Lived" stories, despite the fact James and Lily Potter are still alive (and raising Harry Potter themselves). Can you say, "Whiny edge lord"?

I'd guess a lot of it is "bitter sibling rivalry being projected onto the characters." Plus the far-too-common fan fic sadomasochism-plus-revenge fantasy.

[Swindle1984]

You're talking about Friendship Is Optimal, which is one of the best psychological horror stories I've ever read.

Unfortunately, not everyone who read it understood that it was psychological horror, not wish fulfillment.

One man's hell is another man's heaven.

Frankly, while I would find the mere concept of such a thing to be absolutely terrifying, I can easily see how many people would be perfectly convinced that it was awesome.

I'm sure a lot of people, when offered such a fantastic escapist utopia, would jump at the chance, while others (like myself) would view it more akin to I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream. It's a Lotus Eater Machine, and anyone intelligent enough to see that and to see the long-term consequences of it would be rightly terrified. Imagine the Borg offering everyone eternal happiness. What? No, of course we won't force you to assimilate. We'll just manipulate events so that you want to be assimilated.

I'm sure I can find the story on my own; can you clue me in as to its length before I commit to reading it? Are we talking standard fanfic length, or Jenkinsverse?

[Q99]

If fan comics are ok, there's a new one on the block. This cringworthy anti-abortion Zootopia comic going around.

And it's Arby's rewrite

Side note: My Little Pony did show up on death battle between one of the characters in My Little Pony and Deadpool. It was funny

Twice, Dash vs Starscream. Which was also fun