Anakin Skywalker vs. Johnny Bravo

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2002-10-15 02:07pm

Mos Eisley Cantina: the stage is set for an all-out Corny Pick-Up tour-de-force. Which of our two combatants is the Lamest Losario, the Rankest Romeo, the Crappiest Cassanova? And which one really knows how to use his 'saber?

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-15 02:17pm

Considering that Anakin actually managed to pick up Padme, I'd give him the win.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2002-10-15 02:22pm

Well, this isn't about whether or not a contestant gets the girl, but how stupid or corny they come off in the attempt.

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-15 02:24pm

In that case, it's still Anakin's victory, since Johnny's pretty much a one-trick guy.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2002-10-15 03:33pm

I disagree, I think Johnny has better pickup lines. Anakin seems to have read way too many crappy romance novels (the ones with words such as "bossom").

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2002-10-15 03:39pm

Slartibartfast wrote:I disagree, I think Johnny has better pickup lines. Anakin seems to have read way too many crappy romance novels (the ones with words such as "bossom").

Correction: I think it's spelled "bosom".

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2002-10-15 03:47pm

This is very, very true... however, Anakin's lines didn't prompt Padme to karate chop him or toss him around like a rag doll. (And who are these chicks that Johnny is always hitting on? How is it that they can so easily toss around this guy who is generally twice their size and shaped like an inverse triangle?)

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2002-10-15 04:18pm

Anakin: "Just being around you is... intoxicating. I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you makes my stomach turn over - my mouth goes dry. I feel dizzy. I can't breathe. You are in my very soul, tormenting me. What can I do? I will do anything you ask...Are you suffering as much as I am?"

Johnny: "If loving me is wrong, you don't want to do the right thing. Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day long. Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams... If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous."

Yoda: "Around the bar, a perimeter create."

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2002-10-15 04:26pm

Hmm... new lines for both?

Evil Jerk · Post by **Evil Jerk** » 2002-10-15 05:26pm

At least Johnny is entertaining.. if not to the woman he's hitting on, Anakin just makes me want to throw a brick at him.

Larz · Post by **Larz** » 2002-10-15 05:50pm

Johnny... if Padme karate chopped Anakin, it would dispirit him, with Johnny its encouragment!

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-10-16 09:05pm

At one point Johnny DID have Velma from Scooby Doo (sometimes it pays to be a CN junkie...which reminds me...DBZ when you are beyond toasted is VERY weird...)

Anakin also makes me want to throw a brick at him.

I give Johnny the win, as much as he annoys me...

*HIH HAH HU!*

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-10-17 12:52am

Hey, Anakin's lines may be awful, but at least he doesn't deliver them like a bad Elvis impersonator. Plus, most girls seem to cream their jeans at the way he looks, while most girls aren't really big on the "giant moron" look.

I'd have to say Anakin easily scores any girl away from Johnny Bravo, and even if he doesn't know how to "use his sabre" afterwards, he can always use the Force to make them think they had the most incredible sex of their lives.

Bravo, on the other hand, will eventually sign up for an account at EliteFitness, having given up on women.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-10-17 01:00am

Um. Whatever. And I think that whoever plays Anakin is one of the ugliest actors I have ever seen

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-10-17 01:01am

But then, I'm not one to go much for white boys.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-10-17 02:11am

Darth Wong wrote:Bravo, on the other hand, will eventually sign up for an account at EliteFitness, having given up on women.

Nah, he'll never give up. His skull is way too thick for it to ever occur to him.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-10-17 12:14pm

Maybe Johnny will do something to piss of Anakin and get filleted. Then Anakin would probably get hit on by some chick who's into S&M.

Ani wins.