SD.Net World(RAR!) MK III

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Imperial Chronicles

What many did not know about Byzantium, was that the IBIA had its claws everywhere. When the bomb blew up, the quarantine action plan kicked in. No flights will go out of Byzantium and the cities. All main roads will be shut and all passengers will be screened. No ship will be allowed out of the harbour and the mine fields that surround Byzantium were activated immediately. Any attempt to break free was futile. No one could escape. All the UAVs under the control of the IBIA were out right now circling the city and finding the perpetrators. Even if they hid in the woods, they could not fire their engines without being detected by thermal sensors. All traffic was locked down as every single person coming in and out of the cities was screened.

There was no escape.

[DarthShady]

Location: Somewhere in Shroomania, En route to Farbanti

The Emperor twitched nervously in his seat.

"Are we there yet?"

"No my lord. We have at least another half an hour of driving..."

"Fuck! Drive faster."

"Yes Sir."

Suddenly the car slowed down.

"Whats happening? Why are you stopping?

"My lord it appears that the road ahead is blocked...by a...circus parade."



"What the fuck?"

The Emperor rolled down his window to see what was happening. And what he saw amazed him even more.



"What the Fuck is going on here? Who are these people?"

"My lord it appears they are having some sort of Carnival."

The Emperor rolled up his window.

"Goddamn Shroomanians! Goddamn crazy bastards! What is wrong with this country?"

"Well Sir, it is possible that..."

"Shut up! Shut up you.... Just get us out of here..."

[Shroom Man 777]

Constantinople, Byzantium



"Yes. It proceeds as planned!"

He revved up his pseudocycle and joined his brothers in the great chase! The Vanagrians were coming, and now they would lead them to their demise.



The Vanagrians, in their trademark armor and with their obscene weaponries and swords, the same blasphoriters who despoiled Mother's Haven. But they came with speed, with sanctified and blessed Holy Harleys.

They had horsepower.



But the Witnesses had swordguns.



What transpired was an epic chase - two score Vanagrians running down a paltry few Witnesses. But the Witnesses were fast, and engaged their pursuers in obscene feats of aeronautical motor-vehicular jiu-jitsu.

Vanagrians shot with their pistols and slashed with their swords, while the Witnesses shotslashed with their swordguns.

The Witnesses scattered, and the Vanagrians separated to follow suit.

The Captain of the Crusaders of St. John, the same man who crucified the cultists of St. Ark, was hot on the trail of the leading Witness. He was the last one of his pack, his brothers either shotslashed down by swordgun, or pursuing another of these cowardly cultists.

It did not matter. He had his hammer and would deliver the Emperor's Benediction.

He fired the last rounds from his bike-mounted bolter and the Witness' pseudocycle caught fire and crashed.

"It is over," the Captain said solemnly.

But he was wrong.



What came from the wreckage was a vision of true horror. A glimpse at the One-Winged Angel these cultists abased themselves to. That horrible vision was but a fleeting one, though, as the Captain felt the shot of swordgun rip through his armor - bullet embedding itself inside his chest.



He spat out blood.

"What treachery is this?" he roared as he drew his hammer and engaged the Witness in an epic clash of steel on steel.



The Witness was fast, inhumanly so. The Captain was lumbering in his armor, while the Witness was swift in his skin-tight pants. That wicked double-katana slashed at his joints, cutting through the kevlar and wounding him.

"No one makes me bleed my own blood!" the Vanagrian declared in fury as he brought the Emperor's Wrath down upon the heretic.

The sword shattered.

So did the heathen.



"In nomine Imperator," the Captain declared. "I declare thee diabolus!"

Then the Witness then did something unexpected.

He ripped off his clothes.

And there, sown into his very flesh, were packets of plastic explosive.

"Mother."

Once more he pressed the button.



In the nine vectors of Constantinople, the remaining Witnesses did the same - and they went to join their Mother in an explosion of albino guts and gore.

One of the surviving Vanagrians emerged from the rubble.

"Motherfuckers," he cursed.

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Imperial Chronicles

It did not take long for the controllers of the UAVs to notice the carnage going on in the forests. Orders were issued, and the Imperial Byzantine Police began sending out its crack paramilitary troops in BTR-90s which were equipped with sonic stunners in addition to their standard armament. Their orders were to stun and capture and take prisoners.

=======================

Else where, forces were in motion. The Crusaders of St John were heading towards the site of the battle with all speed, and the Grand Master of the Crusaders was at the head of the small army.

[PeZook]

Astoria, Royal Palace

The King was reading about Selene and Ivan The Chimp, when one of the phones on his desk rang. It was the phone.

"Shit...what now?", the King muttered under his breath, closed the briefing folder and picked up.

"Sire", the voice on the other end was grave. Naturally - it was the phone, after all, "There has been a mass terror attack in Byzantium, utilizing car bombs and nerve gas."

Fuck...not again!, Paul thought

"How many dead?", he said into the receiver

"We don't have an exact count yet, but we estimate dozens dead, hundreds wounded. We don't know how effective the nerve gas was, they deployed it in crowded subways. Potential death count may reach thousands."

"Do we know who's responsible?"

"The group sent a message right before the attacks. The content suggests the Jenova's Witnesses, but of course it may be a ploy. We have no confirmation just yet."

The King pondered the situation for a moment. The Jenovans were active in PeZookia for some time, converting people to their faith. They were mostly left alone, but closely watched - as they called all other faiths heretics and blasphemers, and thus were a potentially dangerous cult. The Internal Security Bureau had a long file with all known members of the sect, their adresses and occupations.

"Begin 'BLUE WRATH'", the King spoke into the receiver

"It shall be done, sire."

The King hung up the phone. He wasn't sure if he was making the right decision, but the cult has been showing signs of fanaticism and militancy for some time now. Sooner or later, that particular contingency would be necessary anyway.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astoria International Airport

Franciszek Doruc was a Jenovan for a long time now,and it caused him much trouble after his conversion. He was the subject of ridicule and mistrust, uncanny jokes and plenty of strange looks.

Living for years under such pressure has made him resentful, and thus, when the call came, he embraced it. Yes, the heretics would pay...yes, they would pay dearly indeed for their crimes against the Mother.

He was to fly over to Shroomania to receive his new orders and equipment. His superiors, however, have miscalculated. Miscalculated the delays at the overloaded Astoria International airport. He would've been back in PeZookia by now.

Finally, he reached the passport control station. As the pretty Customs Service girl behind the counter checked his passport, she smiled.

"Just a moment, please", she said and picked up the phone. What the hell is going on? They never do that... he thought, looking around nervously. The girl smiled.

"There is no problem, sir, please wait a second."

Doruc knew something was up, however. He decided to bolt.

As he turned around and started running, he already knew it was too late. Three Customs agents were already walking towards him, and they had a vicious looking dog. The moment they saw him turn, they released the animal - and they didn't even need to point. It saw a running man, and a running man was to be stopped.

Doruc mamaged to make it thirty meters before the dog jumped onto his back. As the customs agents handcuffed him, he started to wonder what, exactly, has happened.

And all over PeZookia a similar scene was being played out. The call came out on all law enforcement frequencies: police, FBI, the BOR and Internal Security all receive the three words: initiate BLUE WRATH.

Police commanders pulled out the proper envelopes from their safes ; Internal Security officers already knew what the code words meant. FBI offices also knew the procedure.

Arrests started being made within two hours. Patrol officers would knock on doors and handcuff the owners. Spouses and families received a simple explanation: wanted for questioning. We'll return him home shortly.

In a few cases, the Jenovans resisted. The police did not hesitate: they busted down the doors, shot out tires or tasered resisting suspects. In two cases, counter-terrorists teams had to be called. One Jenovan died when he tried to fight a CT team. The other surrendered.



PeZookia would have no genocidal cults on its soil.

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Emergency Bulletin

Prime Minister issues statement.

Dear Citizens of Byzantium,

Moments ago, a group of religious fanatics attacked the eternal city Constantinople. The Imperial Byzantine Intelligence Agency has initiated a Quarantine Order. Please remain calm and stay in your homes or offices and do not move. The police and paramedics are now hard at work to deal with the victims of the nerve gas attack on the 2 subway stations and the victims of the bomb blasts. The attacks were largely in the financial district. Please remain calm, as our security forces mobilize to deal with the security threat. We estimate a total of 50 deaths so far, with hundreds injured.

A word of caution, should you be a member of the Jehovah's witnesses, please surrender yourselves immediately. Your punishment will be light, but should you not surrender yourselves, your punishment will be heavy when our security forces apprehend you.

Thank you for listening. May the Lord God Bless us all.

SPQN.

===================================

Imperial Chronicles

The IBIA suspected that the attacks were the works of the Jenovah's witnesses. Bodies found in the subway by police in NBC gear had markings identifying them to be part of the cult. When the officers reported their findings, the IBIA immediately told the police commissioner to apprehend all known cultists. The police were told to exercise maximum caution when apprehending the cultists.

The paramilitary units arrived at the battlefield and found 2 former Varangian Guard members there. They were all that was left of their squad. They threw their hands up high as the paramilitary units approached. "We did our duty for the Emperor and for Byzantium," said one of them.

The captain of the unit looked at the carnage wrought by the battle and looked at the Guards, who were obviously though tired, were capable of pulling a fight. Knowing that this was out of his hands, he radioed for instructions. "I think sir, the matter is quite out of our hands. But if you indeed still serve the Emperor and Lord God, then perhaps you would not attempt to escape." The paramilitary personnel stood alert, watching vigilantly.

EDIT: Got rid of the broken English. I must have been drunk or what or half asleep when I typed the lot.

[Shroom Man 777]

SOFIA
Shroomanian Office - Fungal Intelligence Agency

(SOFIA's an acronym, guys)

Director John Baylor emerged from his refrigeration room feeling cool and chilled. Yes, the cold would preserve his bodily fluids... make him immortal. He would never die.

Scruffy the Janitor, who was defrosting one of the smaller fridges, was the one who gave him the news.

"What?!" he spat out. "Ugh!"

The Goddamn Jenovans were not the FIA's problem. FIA dealt with foreign governments, maybe terrorist groups, and with that whole Shadow-Shroom Mk2. incident... no resources could've been spared to watch some albino assholes in fetish gear.

Then there was the fact that local resources had been diverted to delay Emperor Shady from coming in and annoying the Sultan who was visiting Shroom...

That whole mess had diverted a dozen of their local agents and ten of their best elephants...

What?

"Get me Hobart Hoover of the FBI on the line, now!"

The telephone stuck to Baylor's freezing ear-sweat. A bit like how a wet tongue would stick to a freezing lamp post. Baylor didn't mind, it saved him the trouble of holding onto the phone.

"Goddamn it Hobart, take off those stockings and put on some pants, fer Christ's sake!"

"How do I know? I've got eyes everwhere!"

"Now, you listen to me you queer!" the irony was lost on the SOFIA Director who enjoyed sending agents to take picture of Major Kulinsky's heroic behind. "Why the HELL didn't you do anything about these cultists? These whackaloons fall under your jurisdiction!"

"What? You don't have jurisdiction in Constantinople? And the Jenovans actually came from Shinra? They're operating everywhere? Well, we know that already!"

"Me? We've got eyes everywhere, we can see things. But you've got hands too, don't you? You like grabbing onto things, groping people's -"

"Right, right. This isn't our fault. They didn't come from us. They came from Shinra and now their shtick ballooned in Shroomania since a lot of our whackos obviously love that shit. But they're even whackoes by our fucked up standards."

"I know they're working with those Bullshits. BS. Bright Star, whatever. Fucking Mangkans. The Shadows bombed their WMD plants for making bioweapons and it turns out they're getting their virals from our lunatics. Call the Mangkan government, tell them that we both have the same problem and that both of our whackoes are working together. Now we have to work together to take down those working-together-whackos of ours before they do anything else!"

"Jurisdiction? Warrants? Well, I'll give you the warrants! You can be Judge Judy and Executioner, now go out there and ruin their shit!"



Elsewhere, in San Salvacion

"Motherrrr!" cried out little Tomas as he clutched his balls.

Overhead, zeppelins blotted out the sky and filled the air with the nigh-inaudible noise of sonic-electronic ball-breaking amplitude. The whole congregation of men, women and children were clutching their genitals, their testicles and their ovaries and their uteruses.

It was the ultimate crowd-suppressing weapon. Those zeppelins that were zapping them also had the MacMillan logo on them. Advertising while administering agony, that was something new.

Above the zeppelins and the Black Helicopters, Mushroom Army Rangers fresh from Crosshairs were para-dropping out of AC-130 Combat Talons in full combat gear ready to oppress the living shit out of the cultish congregation of children and women and men.

"Mommy!" cried a little girl.

"Motherfucker!" roared the first MARS who began shooting teargas canisters at people.

"Mommy!"

"Shut up!"

[Grand Moff Yenchin]

Farbanti, Shroomania

The Sultan sipped some more tea, and began to speak. "First, Mr. Prime Minister, once again I'd like to thank the FUN's assistance in ending the civil war in the Sultanate. During my visit to the Shinra Republic, I met with King Paul, we talked, praise Allah he agreed to help us.

"After the visits to Shinra and Byzantium, and a few days on the sea, I was thinking of the future of the Sultanate. A question was brought up by my cabinet members, and currently it seems that you are the obvious person to answer it.

"The question is: What would it take for the Sultanate to be accepted in the FUN?

[Grand Moff Yenchin]

Somewhere in Mangka

The Bright Star Pastor collected his thoughts. For half a year he has been switching residences day after day to avoid the authorities. He still had a large amount of followers, not to mention the whole United Oaks Gang were showing their support.

Why hasn't the Bright Star delivered its punishment on Mangka? Crisis' came and went, Mangka has been able to avoid them. Why? Wrong time? Warning? Or because of his own existence?

The Pastor checked the copy of Mangka Daily News in his hand. Many people of faith seemed to be fighting and dying these days. Considering the situation here, was it because the Bright Star Followers weren't pushing enough effort? Should they stop and hide after a failure to gas the President?

There was a knock on the door. One of his guards went to open it, only to be kicked to the ground by a mysterious man. The man was wearing a black suit, with his face hidden by the cap he was wearing.

"In the name of the Bright Star....Who...who are you?"

"Just call me...a messenger from heaven." The man took a disc from his pocket, and loaded it on a portable video player.

On the screen was a man, in his 40s, "I am Alvar Han. Pastor Bright Star, here is a proposal for you..."

[Shroom Man 777]

Farbanti, Shroomania

The sheer directness of the question struck Prime Minister Shroom. Certainly the Sultan was not one who would mince words.

Shroom had to consider his words carefully.

"Your Eminence," the Prime Minister began. "That is really a difficult question and I believe I must bring this up with my friends and allies in the FUN before I can give you any definite answer.

"While I may be the founder of the FUN, I do not claim to be its leader. Though we may seem to be the most outspoken, King Paul of PeZookia and I stand as equals with the other leaders of the FUN. The matter of the Sultanate's entry in the FUN must be carefully considered by all members - their say is as important as mine, or any other's.

"We know that many decisions made regarding Terra Libertia have wound up causing great controversies. The affairs of your neighbor, Alexandria, with the Iron General's dealings with the MESS and the UAR is an example of this. From recent events, many nations feel... that great caution must be exercised when dealing with Libertian affairs."

"I agree with King Paul though, we do wish to help you. The Sultanate has just recently emerged from a brief civil war, and the rest of Terra Libertia is not without its fair share of problems. I think that we should focus on the immediate needs of the Sultanate, humanitarian aid, stabilizing the region, improving the life of your subjects as well as making sure that your nation can stand on its own in peace with its neighbors.

"The FUN does want to help your people and we are willing to work with you on that, I can assure you of it."

[RogueIce]

National Command Center, Shinra Republic

President Shinra and Emperor Heraclius were standing side-by-side in the NCC. They had gone there as soon as the word concerning the terrorists attacks in Byzantium had reached them.

"Well your majesty, we've ordered our police forces, both national and local units, to start rounding up Jenova cultists. To be blunt, they're considered a terrorist organization now. We've also dispatched a CBRN incident response team to Constantinople to aid in the relief efforts. Finally, we've issued a MESS-wide alert to all military and law enforcement agencies that this Jenova cult needs to be arrested or at the least closely monitored immediately."

He turned and looked into the eyes of the Emperor of Byzantium. "I know your probable methods of punishment for these terrorists will likely be quite...severe...and I have no intention of trying to interfere with your domestic handling of the situation. But those rounded up in my nation and those of other MESS nations will deal with them as our laws require. If anybody chooses to extradite, that's their choice. I hope you'll understand."

[Coiler]

Coilerburg declares Jenova's Witnesses a dangerous threat

In one of his many televised speeches, PFL Iler declared the Jenova's Witnesses to be a terrorist organization and warned about the danger of fanatical cults to the Coilerburg public.

"They are not obvious and dangerous, like an invading army. Rather, they are like an addictive drug, one that seems harmless and beneficial at first but will drive one to ruin in time. And like drug addiction, you can say 'I can resist it, it can't affect me, I'm too strong-willed for that', but are then painfully proven wrong."

The Coilerburg military and police have begun to detain JWs residing in the nation and search for any bombs or gas devices that they may have placed there.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Mysterious loner kills everyone!

an unidentified individual with a german sheppard mix arrived at the Bear Republic's branch of the Jenovah's Witnesses the other day, and proceeded to kill all of them with a sawed off trench gun, a captive bolt gun, or the dog's teeth.


no motive for the killings have been found. any assistance in identifing this unknown person would be helpful.

[MKSheppard]

Note: Backdated to June 11, 2008; I've been a bit busy to participate; and well there's nothing out of the ordinary here, no earth shattering things...

"My Fellow Shepnukistanis, today our horrible civil war, insitgated by the UKB's attempted coup on me is over. Millions lie dead from nuclear strikes by both loyalist and Garner forces. Our economy lies in ruins.

Accordingly as part of a series of budget cutting measures, I order:

• The Demobilization of five divisions from the Army.
• The Demobilization of all but one carrier battlegroup.
• The Demobilization of four Bomb Wings from Strategic Air Command.
• The Termination of the F-24 Interceptor Program.

This is intended to allow money to be released for reconstruction efforts, as well as to fund the ongoing development of the Multi-Role Combat Aircraft (MRCA) program; formerly the Heavy Multirole Naval Aircraft program.

[Master_Baerne]

Duke James looks with confusion, surprise, and not a small degree of alarm upon the recent happenings regarding insane cultists throughout the FUN. If there is anything the Sovereign Duchy of Baerne can do to assist it's friends and allies, they should consider it done.

[Beowulf]

Imperial Palace
Forbidden City
Tian Xia

"The test results for Mjolnir-S are in. It doesn't look good."

"How so?"

"Accuracy isn't good enough, and yield isn't great enough to make up for it. BuWeaps is recommending canning the project. Unless we want to use either a massively larger warhead, or use a nuke instead."

"How much larger?"

"They said Drake would be able to put one up."

"Ha. What about tactical use?"

"Possible, we'd need to be obvious about it though. That'd mostly solve the accuracy problem, anyway. And for low yield versions, we could use a carrier satellite with a mass driver to impart the delta V required for deorbit."

"Well, get the engineers on it."

[Raj Ahten]

Indhopal

The bussines developement team at ProTec was going over all the latest news and earning reports. Terrorism, this time spawned by obscure cults, was on the rise. Protec had major contracts in the unpredictable Neverhood and Libertopia. To top it al off Shepnukistan was putting thousands of treained soldiers with battle expierience and no where to go on the street. It was beginning tyo look a lot like Christmas for ProTec.

[RogueIce]

Special Intelligence Section, Defense Ministry, Shinra Republic

"Here you go sir, the file you wanted."

The SIS Chief looked it over, and asked the young agent, "Are you sure he's the right man for the job?"

"Yes sir. He was a former officer in the SRA Special Forces. He was given a psychological discharge, but it appears he's gotten past that. Now he works as a freelance mercenary."

"Very well. Make contact, pay him what he needs. This...'Kadaj' of the Jenova's Witnesses needs to be brought in. Or...not...whatever the case may be. Have we found him yet?"

"Not yet sir, but we're working on it."

"Good. The sooner we've dealt with this, the better."


SIS File Photo [Classified]: Claudius "Cloud" Stricus

[Zor]

Morning, Central Western Neverhood, east of the testing range

The Facility was nearby one of the most unremarkable places in the Neverhood, it was near a small mining community surrounded by some subsitance agriculture that was above all else three things...

-Small, having a population of little better than a thousand
-Stable, It was never more than a footnote in the minds of logisitic officers as a OK place to get some fresh produce, the only militia that people ever new about the place was few dozen people composed of the local police and a few other volunteers who had little better to do armed with Kalashnikovs, a few pistols, a few boxes of hand grenades, two light machine guns, a single RPG-7 and various blunt instruments and it's population generally made a habbit of not poking around other people's buissiness or that of the
-Out of the way, It was in rough terrain only accesable by a few winding roads that might have understood the concept of matinence, but until recently had very little firsthand knowlage of how roads were supposed to be taken care of.

In fact, it would have been suspitiously unsuspitious if it was not for the fact that there were several like it in various valleys nearby.

However, the town itself had it's own secrets. Deep within an abandoned mine, an orginization had set up it's headquarters, in exchange for a respectable set of payments that most of the townfolk had found adequate, as well as some hush money to keep the local leaders quiet. Supplies were brought in at night and during sandstorms and the once dead coal mines had become the home of a rather up to date command and control facility, as well as a mushroom farm to earn some extra cash to help cover the upkeep. A hidden cable lead to a transmitter station officially for broadcasting a local news radio broadcast a few kilometers from the actual facility nearby a cave unused save for the odd goat herder during storms that would in general make a good decoy location. There were other bases like this, but this was one of several intended.

Inside the facility, the leaders of the orginization prepared for the comming affair at an otherwise unremarkable table. A map of the neverhood with various pins was placed at various locations on the Eastern Neverhood Side, it took no easy effort to set this up, but things are finally comming to order but with Shepnukistan Crippled after the civil war, it was as good a time as any.

A iron maked figure pointed at one point, officially he was a well respected West Neverhood Industrialist, as far as Neverhood Industry went, but was insturmental in bringing in supplies and setting up the covert arms industry that was so dearly needed for the orginziation. "...and if we destroy these bridges and set up ambush points here, here and here, we can isolate this PAP base from the rest of their forces from anything save helicopter airlift, vunerable to slinger attack of course. The cities our, as stated before, our last targets. We shall focus on the rural areas, leave the big cities for last, we will not make the mistakes the Zionists did. We have 50,000 men ready for battle so far, not counting another eighty to one hundred thousand militia that we have set up alliances with, leaving aside the good doctor's work. After some sucsess, we should get a fair deal in the lines of new recruits."

One of two identical twins at the table began to speak "We will spread the PAPs thin, break their supply network and elliminate each unit peicemeal." The other then started "The Guard is ideal for handling that task."

A figure in an officers' uniform who's face was hidden behind a featureless mask put his black leather glove clad hand on the area in which his eyes were surely beneith "As good as you two are," He said in a dry raspy voice "I wish you would not do that. But regardless, all is in order, it is time for Shepnukistan to taste our venom. "

That Night

In various locations, supply convoys moved across the roads of the Neverhood for various purposes while silently men observed their passages. They waited for their time as vehicles crossed bridges and things were in the right, then, dozens of rocket and bomb attacks went off within minutes of each other. Bridges were sent into rivers with supply trucks on them, while RPGs set alight convoys while survivors were sprayed with automatic fire. It was all handled in a method far to professional for the standard. Within half an hour, over a thousand Shepnukistani PAPs and Soldiers were dead and millions of dollars of equipment were lost. A few Convoys managed to drive off the attackers in some fashion, but others were completly whiped out. On these destroyed convoys, the forces moved in, stole what they could cary, a few times set up a few traps and spraypainted their logo with sencil onto the downed vehicles before fleeing into the woods. These suprising competant and capable force would do it again soon after, abiet at diferent vunerable spots and more sporatically as well as using roadside bombs, as well as setting themselves up in forests and scurbland and such to gradually widdle away at whatever responce was sent out to try to nulify it with their Kalashnikovs, traps from pungi sticks to a handful of claymores and slinger launchers.

Meanwhile, various agents set about flyers through the mail, news and on posters. Generally with grandeous statements of Neverhood Liberation, but they all ended with this statement to the followings effect...

"And the brutish fool who steps blindly across the opressed shall be struck down from the grass by the Serpent."

...and always with one distinct line at the end and their Logo



"VICTORY TO COBRA!"

Anacostia, Republic of Nukistan, Presidential Dining hall that night

President Garner looked at the specticaled raven haired black clad beauty that had desired to see him as she took her seat and ordered a glass of Red Zorian Wine from the waiter, a bit of an odd choice for a representative although he could see the appeal. But frankly this could be a big thing in the ending of that bastard shep. "If i may make a humble sugestion, i would recomend the Italian Salad Miss Baron..."

"Please, Darling." She said "You can call me DeCobray..."

[PeZook]

FASTA bulletin

Selene 1A - Launch Control records

It was a warm day of July 12th, and a jubilous one indeed. The first FASTA launch - the first baby step on the way to Selene - was scheduled to take place that day.

The crew at Korolev Spaceport had experience at doing launches. The R7-Soyuz rocket was a proven, stable and reliable design. All systems were checked out throughout several days, and showed green.

Chief Launch Controller Golovko entered the launch control room with a cup of coffee in one hand, and a long checklist in another. His team of technicians greeted him from their consoles...he also noted several hi-ranked foreign guests watching the cavernous room from the supervisor's office.

The technicians have been busy running final pre-launch checks at their consoles. The R-7 rocket was visible on several screens, hanging over her launch pad. It was actually visible through the windows of the room, and several people were watching it with binoculars.

CLC sat down at his spot and put on the headphones. It was time to go to work.

"Selene 1A launch controllers", he patched himself through to the PA system,"Give me a go no go for launch."

"Boosters, go", reporter the booster technician, who would monitor the rocket's performance in the initial stage of flight

"Complex, go", another light lit up on Golovko's console from the Launch Complex Controller

"Telemetry, go"

"Guidance, go"

"Systems, go"

"Meteo, go"

"Relay, go"

All stations were ready. Golovko looked up at the mission clock. Twenty minutes to launch.

The launch pad's PA system came alive just then, as technicians disconnected the fuel lines.

"Attention! We are at 20 minutes to launch! All personell clear the launch site!"

The technicians proceeded to their bunkers at a leisurely pace. It was routine, after all, except for Ivan The Chimp, securely strapped into the Soyuz capsule's center seat.



Time passed slowly. Comona Flight Control confirmed they were ready for launch at five minutes. Final booster checks were done at three. Then, everybody just stared at the clock.

"Fifteen seconds! Fourteen! Thirteen!", the range officer started counting down aloud. The mighty rocket seemed oblivious, completely inert.

At "ten", the range officer turned his key and lifted a protective cover on the abort button. The rocket's engines initiated with a brilliant flash and started building up thrust, with powerful pumps shoving thousands of liters of fuel down to the engine nozzles.



"First stage ignition! Booster ignition!", the boosters tech reported, his voice tense. This was the most dangerous part of any mission.

"Four...three...two...", the range officer held his hand over the abort button. The rocket was almost invisible now, covered in smoke rising up from the pad.

And then something started to go wrong.

"Launch, I've got ignition of the second stage!"

Golovko ran his eyes over the readouts.

"Confirm that it's not a false reading!"

"Negative, ignition on the second stage!"

It was obvious now. The rocket lifted off slowly, as support trussed retracted themselves, but brilliant flame shot out from where the connecting joint between the first and second stages. A moment later, both stages separated.

"Abort, abort, abort!", Golovko screamed to the range officer, who jammed the button.

At the pad, a magnificient spectacle was playing itself out. The first stage was still burning, as was the second. However, separated by explosive bolts, both stages jammed into each other and spinned out of control, their engines still working with enough power to overcome the Earth's gravity well. The first stage, propelled by four powerful strap-on boosters, crashed right into the support structures and exploded, throwing the second stage into a careening, ballistic arc and causing an incredibly huge fire to engulf the launch site.

It was then when the Launch Escape Tower fired, lifting the Soyuz capsule and it's simian passenger away from the self-destructing rocket. But the second stage was already spinning wildly, and so the tower fired at the wrong angle, and slammed straight into the ground along with the capsule it was supposed to save.

Moments later, the second stage smashed straight into a technician's bunker five kilometers away.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pad was burning. There was an awful lot of fuel inside the rocket, and it was an extremely volatile mix. Thick smoke billowed into the sky, as rescue teams raced to the site of the catastrophic failure.

While several teams were trying to pull people out of the bunker, one started cutting open the smashed capsule, after clearing parts of the second stage. Deep down, they knew the passenger was just an animal, but most of Korolev's staff has grown attached to the silly little monkey they have been training for so long. It certainly didn't deserve to be left to die inside a metal coffin.

As they finally pulled the thick metal walls of the capsule apart, they saw Ivan. The animal was in obvious pain, its legs crushed by force of the impact and bleeding from the lower abdomen. It looked up, its eyes glassy with pain, not understanding what had just happened, and raised its arms towards the rescuers with a pained expression on its face, as if asking for help.

Only a kilometer away, people were being pulled out of a burning bunker, and they were in obvious pain, too. But somehow, Ivan seemed worse. Everybody at the site knew, deep down, that he didn't even know what happened and why he had to die. He didn't make a sacrifice for progress - he was sacrificed to save lives of humans.

Sobbing, the paramedic - the same one who gave Ivan his final medical check-ups - injected the chimp with an overdose of morphine.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took eight hours before the fires were finally put out. A dozen people suffered varying degrees of burns, but poor Ivan was the only fatality of the day.

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Imperial Chronicles
Shinra Republic

"Those damn cultists will be interrogated thoroughly. Anyone found complicit with the plot will be tried in court and then if they are lucky enough, they will be sentenced to life imprisonment. Otherwise, it's the firing squad for them," the Emperor grumbled. "Fortunately, it appears the security forces and the IBIA are doing their job and the suspects are being rounded up. You have my thanks for the intelligence reports. I hear you are making a move to take down the chief perpetrator?"

"Why yes. Our operative is moving into position."

"We prefer that he be caught alive so that we can extract information from him. He will be tried under your laws of course, since he is not in Byzantine territory. Now, on to other businesses then. As you know, Byzantium is interested in investing more in the warship program, the larger of the two. We might interested in procuring some of the larger vessels.

Also, we are interested in exploring avenues for further military and economic cooperation. The situation is vague in many ways but we hope we can clear things up."

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Imperial Chronicles

"They did what?!" The IBIA operations director yelled.

"Yes sir, it seems that the rain falling has been contaminated with some hallucinating drug. The source has been corroborated, quite repeatedly."

"Of all the..." The IBIA Operations Director swore and then told the agent, "Get the director of Center For Contagious Diseases (CCD) right now on the phone right now."

"Aye, Director."

==========================

The director of the CCD was looking at the datasheet for the plant in question, or rather, the giant fungus in question. Known for hallucinatory properties, the sap of the fungus had now been refined to the purest possible and now somehow, some of it was now in the rain falling out his window. He was glad that he wasn't outside. All the security and biohazard personnel from the CCD were fortunately wearing NBC suits and were shielded from the drug.

But what worried him was that the rain fell for a good 15 minutes before the quarantine order went out.

What worried him was that the clouds were slowly moving southwards to the rest of the cities of Byzantium in Anatolia.

What worried him was that this mother of a storm, was also headed elsewhere, possibly Cannissia.

He called up the Quarantine officer, "Bad news. This storm, according the meteorology section, is going to last for another hour or two, and moving southwards. Quarantine order remains in effect. Also, instruct all ambulance personnel to go out in NBC suits." The director looked at his watch, and continued, "Tell the hospitals to get ready for possible phone calls of people seeing visions in the next 2hrs. The drug may last from 2-5 hours."

The director put down the phone, and then dialed the number for his counterpart in Cannissia.

[Raj Ahten]

West Neverhood

ProTec had been expecting something, as there had been a lot of cross border movement lately. Just not what had happened. COBRA was a lot more disciplined in their signals use than others and had gone mostly under the radar. ProTec took a lot of casualties that day. Many of the men had to be left where they fell so the rest could break free of the ambushes.

ProTec's aircraft were flying sorties nonstop all day and night, mostly in attempts to salvage the situation. When night came, the tempo of operations actually increased. ProTec's people were enraged, and out for blood. The PAP was reeling but the police commandos were ready to rock. Apparently COBRA thought they could loot the convoys under the cover of darkness. Bad idea. ProTec surveillance aircraft definitely had FLIR and the convoys were in known locations. Gunships and strike aircraft were directed in to destroy the looters. The problem was many PAP units still needed help and some surveillance flights had to watch futilely as stolen supplies were loaded up and carted away. ProTec's men also went back out in helicopters and on the ground. Their first priority was to recover their dead. The second was to intercept and destroy targets the surveillance birds had detected. The PAP commandos went into the second task with gusto. These operations met with mixed results, as COBRA had sometimes already melted away before the heliborne troops could arrive.

The game had just changed in Neverhood. Some questions needed to be answered, and ProTec's and the PAP's resources were turned to them. Where was COBRA training its forces? Who was supplying them with equipment? What did their leadership structure look like? And most importantly, what was the best way to kill them?

[Shroom Man 777]

Los Canas, Shroomania
Six days ago

"Brother, there is a storm coming... we will lose many of our kin in the days to come. Mother has spoken, we will begin our war on the unbelievers who taint her Earth."

"By the One-Winged Angel, I am ready for anything that you may ask."

"We ask of you what we ask of all our brothers and sisters. We ask of you the willingness to sacrifice yourself, to be a martyr who will join Mother's embrace."

"By the One-Winged Angel, I am ready for anything that you may ask."

"Brother, you will be the very first of us to join Mother's embrace. Your sacrifice will be most glorious."

"And I am honored to partake in such an act."

"Go now and be with Her. Share your blessings!"


Los Canas, Shroomania
Today...



"Jesus titty-fucking Christ!"

"We've got a floater in the town's water supply, someone call the cops, someone call the FBI, someone call the FUCED, someone call the FUDD... someone call someone!"



SOFIA
Shroomanian Office - Fungal Intelligence Agency

The floater's anatomized cadaver was displayed on the telescreen. The Fungal Union Disease Department (FUDD), their counterpart for the CDCCs of other nations, had done a good job in dissecting the dead dude.

"That's one ugly motherfucker," muttered John Baylor. He was talking to Chief Elmer of the FUDD, whose bald head was dsplayed in the telescreen.

Goddamn, they were expecting the Jenovans to resort to bioterrorism in the Shroomanian mainland as well, just like what they did in Constantinople. Especially with the government's recent crack-down on these crackpots, but still...

A dead dude in a ditch.

A dead dude with rampant fungal infection contaminating an entire city's water supply!

John Baylor was in his refrigeration room, basking in his permafrosted panacea, and frostbitten fog was coming out of his nostrils whenever he breathed.

"It's not a reaction to the recent attacks though," Elmer said, interrupting the Director's train of thought.

"What?"

"The body is old. Like, a week old. They've planned this in advance."

"Goddamn. HOBART!" Baylor cried out.

In response, the third telescreen came to life and the face of FBI Director Hobart Hoover was on.

"Yes, I'm here, goddamn it!" Hobart protested. "I'm fully aware of what's going on. We're already interrogating the Jenovans we've got, even their children -"

"Hobart..." John Baylor muttered.

"- we've been bribing those Jenovan kids with candy and the teens with explicit pornography, and free Degenatrons. You wouldn't know how many tattle-talked after playing Haloid and getting to the level where Meister Chick took off her armor and started fingering Sammy Arany..."

"Hobart..." John Baylor muttered.

"The older Jenovans, well... we're not doing anything dumb like waterboarding. No, we're using their own tactics against them. Those Injuns from Wiapolo were really generous in giving us those herbs they use in their peace pipes. Now we just get those Jenovans high and get all conversational and man, we learned a lot and -"

"Hobart!" John Baylor shouted.

"What?!"

"You've got lipstick on you!" John Baylor cried out.

"My lips get dry a lot!" the FBI Director defended himself. "They get dry and crack and lose their suppleness -"

"For the love of God, just get a fucking sex change already!"

[Grand Moff Yenchin]

Farbanti, Shroomania

The Sultan nodded, "Very well. I can understand." At least now he had a more clearer picture of the gate to opportunities in international alliances. "As for the help needed, I think our fishering industry could use some help from Shroomania. You might know that Saddamistan has attacked most of our seaports, during the previous crisis. Many innocent fishermen and their boats were lost during these attacks.

"We would be grateful if you could help us on this. In return, I'm not quite sure what we could provide, but I'm sure we could discuss this."