SDN Worlds 4 Commentary Thread III

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

[Cut to Byzantine capital, where the UN sent two envoys- identical twins!]

*Rolls out a list of textbook answers*

1. First off, Karlacks dig deep and deep and can lay dormant for indefinite periods. To be rid of infestation? Solution: Exterminatus, including the destruction of the planet's crust to be absolutely sure these pesky xenos didn't dig that deep. Plus, the planet was too close to Karlack space, and too close to the buffer zone of "also heavily exterminatus/Karlack asteroid dropped" planets. Where were you when we were busy dealing with a severe pest infestation?

2. It's a bunch of orcs on a looney world barely inhabitable for human life. Who's going to give a fib?

[Siege]

Okay,now i feel kinda weird for annoying people like that I just feel that if the UN is officially supposed to frown on blasting planets to bits, they should,well...do some frowning when that happens

My thoughts on the matter are best illustrated (god help me) with a quote from Tuco of The Good, The Bad and the Ugly fame: "If you're gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk!" If the UN frowns upon it, it frowns upon it. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Either is ultimately fine by me, and I'll merrily RP the consequences. But it's people going on in the OOC threads about potentials that never materialize that I find very irritating, much as it did in previous games. After all, how am I supposed to weigh the benefits of a course of action versus the possibility of, say, UN intervention if all I've ever read about UN intervention was people cracking "freaking jokes"? Because it'll be "freaking jokes" until suddenly it isn't, and how am I supposed to figure out which is which?

An OOC thread should serve to explain and clarify in-game action, not to crack jokes that make the ramifications of a given course of action more unclear than they would otherwise have been. Finally, "lol I could kick your ass you know" is never a funny joke to begin with, and if one doesn't want to imply such a thing then one should probably not post things that are easily misconstrued that way. So if the UN is going to object in-game, then post the damned objection. If it isn't, then don't speculate about it in the OOC thread. Don't muddy waters that needn't be muddied in the first place.

[Simon_Jester]

[Cut to Byzantine capital, where the UN sent two envoys- identical twins!]

*Rolls out a list of textbook answers*

1. First off, Karlacks dig deep and deep and can lay dormant for indefinite periods. To be rid of infestation? Solution: Exterminatus, including the destruction of the planet's crust to be absolutely sure these pesky xenos didn't dig that deep. Plus, the planet was too close to Karlack space, and too close to the buffer zone of "also heavily exterminatus/Karlack asteroid dropped" planets. Where were you when we were busy dealing with a severe pest infestation?

2. It's a bunch of orcs on a looney world barely inhabitable for human life. Who's going to give a fib?

Ja, ja, ja, Hans und Franz get it.

Come on, the identical twins thing should have tipped you off it was a joke. I am not complaining here, not really. While I think the "fuck it, I'm gonna burn a planet because I didn't get to fight a space battle!" thing is a bit excessive, neither I nor the Technocracy of Umeria has any fundamental problem with the whole 'pasteurized planet' thing under the specific circumstances of:

-Avoiding the spread of Funky Michael Jackson Grey Goo across the galaxy
-Avoiding the spread of Karlacks across the galaxy
-Blowing the fuck out of orks.

[Force Lord]

Schoolwork's occupying me now, so I may not post for a short time.

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Come on, the identical twins thing should have tipped you off it was a joke. I am not complaining here, not really. While I think the "fuck it, I'm gonna burn a planet because I didn't get to fight a space battle!" thing is a bit excessive, neither I nor the Technocracy of Umeria has any fundamental problem with the whole 'pasteurized planet' thing under the specific circumstances of:

-Avoiding the spread of Funky Michael Jackson Grey Goo across the galaxy
-Avoiding the spread of Karlacks across the galaxy
-Blowing the fuck out of orks.

I know it's a joke, hence the "roll out a list of textbook answers".

[Simon_Jester]

Ah, Force Lord, interesting. I'd wondered if something like this might happen.

That said, I've got another post coming up in a few days. If LoC9 actually proposes something, negotiations will proceed on that basis and all will be well as long as he negotiates in good faith. If LoC9 continues to ignore me, Hoffman is going to get booted out of the Technocracy, though we will be happy to continue normal negotiations through either the Umerian embassy in the Prussian capital or the Prussian embassy in the Umerian capital.

Arbitration would also be welcome, assuming you can convince the Prussians to send you someone who isn't a babbling idiot to do the negotiations.

The Umerian government's reason for breaking off negotiations is not any real hostile intent towards Prussia. It is that they have come to the conclusion that Chancellor Hoffman is a useless ass who will never negotiate with them in good faith.

Therefore, they have no way to resolve the issue except attempting to rattle the Prussians enough to induce them to pay attention.

[Force Lord]

Hey, I can't have have my allies, for lack of a better term, looking at each other funnily.

[Simon_Jester]

Your reaction to this incident is perfectly logical, Force Lord, and the Umerians appreciate your offer even if they hold out no great hope that it will accomplish anything.

[Shinn Langley Soryu]

I must commend Mayabird on her latest prologue post. Tianguo dragon riders! Haruhiist catgirls with three titties! ANGLIAN LESBIAN PORN!

Keep up the good work!

[Tanasinn]

Something tells me this poor bastard is going to be rendered down to his component elements once he's run out of nations to call catgirls or space lesbians.

[Simon_Jester]

Minor new post is up from me.

And Tanasinn, I dunno...

[Mayabird]

Something tells me this poor bastard is going to be rendered down to his component elements once he's run out of nations to call catgirls or space lesbians.

Hey, hey, that might be a wee bit unfair! They're learning stuff from him, though it might not be the stuff they'd rather be learning.

And thanks everyone. I'm glad you're liking it. I don't know if I'll have any other prologue stuff up until the big dump on Sunday, and I want to have some more important stuff ready by then.

[Shroom Man 777]

To be fair, he was giving awesome accurate details (mostly). God, that was hee-larious! Brilliant. Just, damn! I was laughing like an idiot! Nazis! Lesbians! Catgirls! Dragons! Man.

[Simon_Jester]

Insofar as the details were inaccurate it only made them more awesome.

Though I almost wish the Prussians were Space Nazis, then they'd at least man up and respond, even if the response took the form of a massive frontal assault...

[Agent Sorchus]

There will be Eoghan vessels present for the anti-pirate action, I just haven't really had time to get a post out.

[Shroom Man 777]

Insofar as the details were inaccurate it only made them more awesome.

Though I almost wish the Prussians were Space Nazis, then they'd at least man up and respond, even if the response took the form of a massive frontal assault...

Yeah. Maybe instead of actually replying to you and actually roleplaying his leader character, Lord_Of_Change 9 will just scurry off somewhere and blow up some NPC pirates, preferring that over - y'know - interacting with other actual players in the game.

I can see your frustration in dealing with someone who isn't even engaging at all.

[Simon_Jester]

I wouldn't mind if he'd at least state a decent reason for his inaction. And Umeria is willing to compromise on the Volksland issue. They're just not willing to let a big Prussian battlefleet sit a couple of hours' flight from one of their biggest trade routes in a situation like that.

[Ryan Thunder]

Insofar as the details were inaccurate it only made them more awesome.

Though I almost wish the Prussians were Space Nazis, then they'd at least man up and respond, even if the response took the form of a massive frontal assault...

Yeah. Maybe instead of actually replying to you and actually roleplaying his leader character, Lord_Of_Change 9 will just scurry off somewhere and blow up some NPC pirates, preferring that over - y'know - interacting with other actual players in the game.

I can see your frustration in dealing with someone who isn't even engaging at all.

Talk to the Interstellar Union! They'll respond!

[Darkevilme]

Mayabird. That was very amusing, Kudos. It seems our friend mister Praneet has never visited the south west corner of the galaxy.

[PeZook]

Something tells me this poor bastard is going to be rendered down to his component elements once he's run out of nations to call catgirls or space lesbians.

We don't do that.

We mindwipe people and dump them on random planets to see what happens.

Unless the guy's captors really aren't the Collectors

Heh...robot zombies

[Simon_Jester]

For bonus points, imagine that everything said by the "unknown location" lady sounds like GLaDOS from Portal!

From the blooper reel of that prologue post:


“This is not a trick.”

He threw himself off the couch onto his knees, and his hands up in a gesture of pleading. “Please, nice lady, don't throw me to the robot zombies! Please! You want private information? They scared the piss out of me as a kid, just the thought of it. Really. Made me piss my mat when I thought they were coming to get me.”

“There will be no robot zombies.”

“PLEASE! I beg you! In the name of the Space Pope, and the God-Emperor and...his wife, the.... Goddess-Empress, and the crocodile with the funny hat, and-”

“We are not the Collectors and we do not have robot zombies, therefore we cannot send you to the robot zombies.”

“...Promise?”

“We promise that we are not the Collectors and we do not have robot zombies, and therefore we cannot send you to the robot zombies.”

"Oh. Alright then..."

"But if you'd like we could make you some."

"AAAAAAH!"

[PeZook]

This should've made it to the final cut

[Simon_Jester]

I know, and I suggested it at the time, but it wouldn't have matched the tone the author was aiming for.

EDIT: For reference, Beo's latest post takes place on the Stairway, a winding hyperspace lane that crosses the W-5 and W-4 sectors between Tianguo and Umeria. The area is governed by the Stairway Agreement, to the effect that neither Tianguo nor Umeria will annex any power on the Stairway, nor permit a multi-system polity in the Stairway.

As a result, the local planetary governments are mostly not very well equipped militarily: enough to handle random ork raiders coming at them from out of the depths of the Badlands. Moreover, they're economically dependent on one or the other of the two regional powers. Sort of like Lochley's Retreat for the Anglians, only without so much in the way of naval basing rights.

[Anyone who can get the reference in the name of the lane gets a cookie]

[Shroom Man 777]

Stairway to Heaven?

[Shroom Man 777]

That was nice, Tanasinn. I like Katerina. She's hot. Mmmmm.

But, more seriously, nice clinical interrogation scene. The poor man didn't even know he was being psyked.

I suppose if the guvmint blew up a rebel base, they would euphemise it as "sterilizing infected tissue."