SDNWorld Redux: Story Thread the Second

[Shroom Man 777]

Shroomanian Stories

The Shepistani Government Demands that the Astarian Government:

1.) Abolish All Slavery, Indentured Servitude, etc immediately and recompense all former slaves/servants with $250,000 Shroomanian Dollars.

2.) Sign the Treaty of Ustinov, thereby preventing slavery from ever regaining a hold in Astaria or it's dominions.

These demands are not negotiatable.

Failure to comply shall mean a State of War exists between Astaria and Shepistan.

Treaty of Ustinov

Be it resolved that:

1.) The Astarian Government be Dissolved.

2.) All agreements that the Astarian government has reached with other governments be ruled null and void.'

3.) That South Veleria shall become a CSR Protectorate.

4.) That the Astarian homeland be ruled by a multi-power commission consisting of Shepistani, CSR, and IRT delegates.

SHAFT Minister Melchett McMeistervater scratched his head as he read over the Shepistani pronouncements.

"Goddamn Shepistanis," he cursed as he discarded his novelty breasts and went over to Exarch Decius and the Astarian Ambassador Alexander de Montre-Narang. "Fellows, what make you of this latest pile of shite?"

"Let me just say that Byzantium... does not entirely approve of the actions of its principal ally in the SNC," Decius said icily. "Not one bit."

"Then, gentlemen, it's time for us to do something. Alex, why don't you fax this over to your Japanistani friends. I understand that your nation has a treaty with the Japanistanis regarding mutual protection whenever belligerent nations are in the mood for gang-raping either of your nations.

"And Exarch Decius... I believe you've said words promising international aid to Astaria.

"The problem gentlemen, is this situation requires more than mere propaganda action," said the Exarch as he stood up. Decius looked around and looked at everyone in the eye. "I am with my PeZookian colleagues in that Byzantium opposes attempts to enact regime change in Astaria. More so, the recent attacks on Astaria demands that the rest of the world, who opposes not just the use of biological weapons, but also attempts to terrorize a state."

Gesturing to an aide, the aide brought up a projector and displayed a series of pictures of Firebees. "Byzantine agents, working in Astaria, uncovered many of these drones and sent the samples of the fluids in them to Byzantine labs to examine their contents. We ascertain that a few weeks ago, an attempt was made to destroy Astarian agriculture via the use of biologicals and defoliants. While I understand that many of us here are dead against slavery, we must also understand that the Astarian economy now teeters on the edge of collapse. They have made positive steps towards eradicating slavery, but we must first and foremost aid them in the transition to a non-slave based economy. We cannot expect them to convert to a modern economy where all men have equal rights, when the end result will not be freedom, but bloody anarchy. If we want the Astarians to eradicate slavery altogether, we must instead aid them to develop local industries and to find a way to persuade them to open themselves up to the outside world without destroying their own economy in the process."

Decius paused to let these facts sink in. Then he continued, "Understandably, there is plenty of cloak and dagger going on right now. There are also only so many nations in the world who would use defoliants and biological agents blatantly. While some are impatient for change, but that is simply unrealistic. Either we help them, or the same power that attacked them in such a manner would try again and attempt to starve the population to death. I can only hope that patience is a virtue that everyone would adhere to, and not resort to arms."

"I... was at the loo during that time, so I couldn't hear myself. But, as the Prime Minister just announced, Shroomania and the FUN is poised to do precisely these things to aid Astaria and its people. Astaria will need both of our nations if it is to survive this coming crisis."

[Setzer]

The Sirnothi government replies:

Astaria has relinquished their foreign policy authority to Sirnoth.
All diplomatic communiques are to be sent to Nexus City and Sovereign Setzer.
The Treaty of Ustinov is no longer relevant to Astaria, but you will be pleased to hear that slavery has been abolished.
As we speak, efforts are being made to repatriate foreign nationals in Astaria. Financial recompense is still undecided.
Astaria's economy is encountering difficulties with the recent upheavals, and large reparation payments will not be possible at this time.

Rest assured that changes for the better are underway, but they will not be facilitated by violence.

[PeZook]

PeZookian foreign ministry calls Shepistani ultimatum a "naked land grab"

"It is obvious that no steps of good will, no matter how politically risky for the abolitionist government of Astaria, will satisfy General Sheppard and his military junta. This is why I would like to remind the good general that since ratification of the Ben Dover Treaty, Astarian foreign policy is determined by the Sirnothian sovereign. Therefore, making demands of Astarian government is de facto and de iure, aiming them at Sirnoth.

Furthermore, Shepistan has no right to demand any government, sovereign or not, to dissolve itself and cede territorry to foreign nations under threat of force. Such actions lie firmly in the area of international banditry."

[MKSheppard]

Army House, Shepistan



My countrymen, I come before you tonight to announce a grave couse of action.

Recently, the rogue nation of Astaria, known throughout the world as a brutal slaveholding nation, declared it's intention to never abolish slavery and claimed that they would live up to their state motto; 'Freedom or Death', and that they would make whatever sacrifices that would be necessary to prevail in any conflict with Shepistan.

They then proceeded to carry out several steps of legal trickery to muddy the water and abdicate any responsibility that they had for their system's actions.

First, they said they were abolishing slavery; but if you actually read any of the fine print, it was to be replaced by indentured servitude; a system that us Shepistanis know all too well, thanks to Old Dominion practices to be slavery in all but name.

Secondly, they attempted to muddy the legal waters by claiming that all foreign policy is conducted by the Sirnothian government. This has proven to be a moot point, since the Sirnothians rejected our demands.

Thus, my fellow Shepistanis, at 0300 hours Zulu, we are calling the so-called nation of Astaria on their national motto.

We only expect them to die.

To the brave men and women of the Shepistani armed forces; who are about to embark upon the Great Crusade to wipe out the vile repugnance that is Astaria from our earth; Good Luck! And let us beseech the blessing of the Almighty Sphagetti Monster upon this great and noble undertaking!

[MKSheppard]

200 nautical miles off the Astarian coastline

The Shepistani SSANs slowly rose to combat depth; and readied the Igo-26 SRBMs that awaited in their 40" launch containers. When all pre-launch checklists had been completed, the missiles were launched through the torpedo tubes; and they floated to the surface, where their solid rocket launch boosters kicked them out of their buoyant containers high enough for their sustainer engines to fire.

The process was repeated until each of the three SSANs equipped with 40" torpedoes had fired off their full warload of twenty Igo-26s each. In between, the 26" tubes in the other pressure hull were fired as well, each submarine contributing thirty advanced cruise missiles, for a total of 90 weapons. In all, 150 weapons containing Shroombola, Shroompox, Shroomanian Hemorrhagic Fever, Shroomanian Cough, etc in mixed bomblets were launched in courses and trajectories designed to confound enemy defenses.

More than enough survived the gauntlet of Astarian defenses to blanket every major Astarian population center in a deadly cocktail of biological agents; and within two hours the first cases of several of the faster-acting diseases were being reported to hospitals.

Meanwhile, the SSANs dove deeper, going to full combat silencing mode; their torpedo magaazines still containing thirty plus 26" inch weapons for self defense on each SSAN....

[PeZook]

Bleak Castle

Sebastian Watroba raised his head from comittee reports he was analyzing. So far, the PeZookian liaison team has managed to organize repatriation of several hundred slaves, and it was obvious there was a lot more to go.

"What the hell?", he asked. Air raid sirens were going off again.

No more than a minute later, a BOSS officer ran into the conference room. The PeZookians sitting there stared at him, awaiting an answer.

"Shepistan just declared war, and there are missiles incoming. We need to get down to the shelter now."

The shocked silence lasted for a few seconds before Sebastian put down the papers and stood up.

"Now, people. Get a move on. The papers can wait.", he said to his team in an absent voice.

"Sebastian, there are rumors...", Amanda started, packing up her reports.

"Yeah, I know. Let's hope it won't come to WMDs."

Fat chance of that, he thought, and watched his people leave the room.

[Lonestar]

WTOP NEWS



"Good Morning, I'm Ron Burgundy. We Interrupt this broadcast to confirm that a state of war exists between Shepistan and Astaria. We attempted to reach Lord Fairfax for a question on the stance of the Old Dominion n this conflict, to which he said: 'I can't bring myself to give 2 shits about the Astarians.' We are interpreting that as a declaration of Old Dominion neutrality..."


Results: The Old Dominion is neutral in the Shepistan/Astarian conflict.

One of the 3 Dominion Hawk prototypes has deployed to monitor the stiuation.

[K. A. Pital]

CRIMSON 1 CHANNEL

News from Boris!


Kittens, kittens and once again, kittens! What do you think kittens mean? They mean peace! They mean love! And communism! We have discovered that the kitten is the favourite animal of the President!...

*click*

CRIMSON 2 CHANNEL

WAR! The territory of Astaria has been subject to bombardment. Due to lack of any personnel in the area, no images can be shown ...

*click*

CRIMSON 3 CHANNEL

President Stanislav expressed his regret at the level of violence in the world. When asked what the CSR leadership thoughts about the recent war are, he said:

"Nothing."

[PeZook]

From: National Command Authority
To: Commander, ORP "King Stanislaw III Wielki"

Proceed immediately east towards Astaria and execute FIRE SIX

-HIGH SEAS COMMAND

The captain read the encoded message and opened his safe. Inside, in neatly organized sections, a couple dozen envelopes were stacked.

The captain pulled out the one marked FIRE SIX, signed for it and tore it open. He quickly scanned his orders. He looked at the officers assembled in the briefing room.

"Run preflight checks on the special helicopters. We proceed with full speed towards Astaria."

Radio message to Astarian authorities, Shepistani attacks + 6 hours

Due to eruption of hostilities between Shepistan and Astaria, the PeZookian government officially requests permission to extract its liaison team and recovered hostages via helicopter. Understanding that Astarian airspace is now located in a warzone, we are ready to undertake all necessary measures to ensure Astarian air defence of the peaceful nature of our mission.

To all governments, to all ships at sea

A PeZookian LSD ORP "King Stanislaw III Wielki" is proceeding at full speed towards Astaria with a humanitarian mission. The vessel and its battlegroup are not belligerents, and will broadcast their position and identification at regular intervals. The PeZookian government intends to evacuate its citizens from Astaria due to the erupting conflict.

==================================================================

Secret Military Area 4

The deep, cold concrete tunnels of the base were mostly silent and unlit. Only part of the massive bio-research complex was operating now, mostly doing research for defensive biowarfare.

A single courier walked down the biggest corridor and turned a corner. At every step, he had to show his security pass, and was patted down no less than four time. The only thing that wasn't searched a briefcase, secured to his wrist by handcuffs.

Eventually, he reached the base commander's office.

"Royal orders, sir.", he handed a single piece of paper to the division general in charge of the project.

The short gray-haired man read the few sentences contained on it.

"Very well."

Result: PeZookia will try to extract its citizens from Astaria before they get killed by Shep being an asshole.

Also, the Agricultural Research Institute receives new orders.

[Setzer]

Radio message to Astarian authorities, Shepistani attacks + 6 hours

Due to eruption of hostilities between Shepistan and Astaria, the PeZookian government officially requests permission to extract its liaison team and recovered hostages via helicopter. Understanding that Astarian airspace is now located in a warzone, we are ready to undertake all necessary measures to ensure Astarian air defence of the peaceful nature of our mission.

Response from the Sirnothi Trade Advisor in Astaria:

The Principality will do all it can to assist Pezook in this time of crisis. Local Defense forces have been notified of your mission and its intention. Anyone firing on you may be freely engaged as a hostile.

[Shroom Man 777]

LIVE on ShroomStratTV
GLOBAL EDITION

Astaria was officially on the eve of its abolition of slavery when the Shepistanis declared war and launched a massive biological attack on Astarian population centers - infecting countless people with the most horrible disease imaginable.

*horribly diseased Astarians are shown*

*horribly diseased Astarians in the Freed Slave Foundation Building, since the Shepistani targeteers were rather ironic in selecting marks*

The Sovereignty of Shroomania, which through the FUN, had signed the Ben Dover Treaty and the FUN Freedom Fontanelle with Astaria has now condemned the Shepistani attacks and has sent Massive Aid to Astaria in the form of air and sea shipments containing vaccines and medicines from the Mushroom Organization of Medicine.

*Shroomanian hospital ships Marine Masectomy, Naval Nasogastric Tube, Hydrodynamic Hysterectomy, Vessel of Vesectomy, etc are shown sailing for Astaria*

*ships are escorted by Shroomanian Navy vessels, destroyers and frigs and submarines (off-screen)*

*airlifting of various stuff is shown*

Prime Minister Shroom the 777th has implored the world community to assist Shroomania and the FUN in aiding Astaria, citing that if the nation is destroyed then all the progress attained would be for naught and that the very people the world has sought to free from slavery are now being ravaged by disease.

*Shroom is shown at the FUN Forum talking on a podium, with a glass of wine in hand

*his audience is laughing*

*The Prime Minister is doing stand-up comedy*



Results:
I'm making the perpetrators look like massive pricks in the media and, without initiating conflict, I'm making Shroomania look all cool and heroic.
Since all of those biological agents have Shroom- in them, then Shroomania's probably familiar with them.

[PeZook]

Royal Palace, Orena

And I really, really thought this one would turn out better..., Paul thought, reading through one of the hundreds of pre-prepared royal orders. There were literally closets full of those things: from declarations of support to ones instituting martial law.

This one, however, was probably the nastiest of all.

PROCUREMENT OF BIOWARFARE AGENTS AND DELIVERY SYSTEMS, the title read.

Paul looked at his military and foreign policy advisors. After a few seconds, he slowly wrote a careful signature below the document.

"Done. Now get it out of my sight."

Amongst various other orders, the order contained a passage about two billion dollars of emergency funds for acquisition of CSR Novichok agentsl, and what Shroomanians called the Rage Virus - super rabies.

Eight hours laters, grim-faced people were boarding airplanes to the CSR and Shroomania.

[Setzer]

Until further notice, a nationwide curfew is in effect. Large gatherings in public buildings are prohibited.
All travel will be subject to inspections at road and river checkpoints.
Stockpiles of strategic materials such as food, anti-biotics, fuel oil, and other necessary items have been created.
All homes are advised to have necessary supplies on hand. For a recommended list, visit http://www.emergency.gov and read the sections on air and biowarfare attacks.

Military patrols will be roving the coast and countryside. Anyone caught outdoors after 6 PM runs the risk of being shot on site. No Fly Zones are in effect over the Sirnothi mainland.

RESULT: Sirnoth is hunkered down, hoping to minimize damage from a Shepistani attack. Air and ground patrols are roving the country, on the lookout for infiltrators.

[Bluewolf]

Ciaran watched the grim news silently on the wide screen television. It was said that Shepstani had bombarded the state of Astaria with deadly biological weapons causing massive infections to break out and killing many of the populace. Already the major nations of the Old Continent were taking action while the attackers were forcing the ultimatum through. Ciaran wanted to aid himself but he needed to remain on the fence, so to speak. A war with Shepstani would cause horrible results both locally and on the Old Continent. Yes, a naturally was needed to maintain good relations and to make sure he was not black listed on some foreign target list. No, he knew what he had to do.

Three Hours Later:

“This is CBC 1 news. Welcome and hello. Our main story today is that Prime Minister Joyce has pledged £2,500,000 and several hospital ships to the country of Astaria which has been under pressure to drop its slavery systems. Recently it was bombarded with biological weapons by Shepstani and a state of war exists between the two until his demands are met.
Prime Minister assured that he was not taking sides in this conflict, only saying that he only wished to aid those affected and hoped that the conflict could be resolved peacefully. The hospital ships are said to help the earlier sent Shroomarian ships.”

Result: 2 ½ million Cialan Pounds are sent as aid along with four hospital ships and with aid workers. No side is taken on the conflict.

[Setzer]

All FUN coalition members are to take the eastern approach when deploying assets to Sirnoth. The primary unloading point is in Montagsville, with secondaries in Baiae and Fort Oberyn.

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Imperial Chronicles

"Shepistan did WHAT?" bellowed the Emperor. Looking at the piece of news sent by the embassy.

"Yes sire, the embassy personnel and our agents immediately used their NBC gear," reported Basilleus. The Military Exarch Selenov was also in the same room.

"This is... send a note immediately to the Japanistani embassy, asking him for Japanistan's stance on the issue." Turning to Selenov. "And get me organised a taskforce optimized for submarine hunting, and escort hospital ships to Astaria. Load up as well a good bit of war materiel and send a few brigades to help the Astarians clean up."

"Assemble the 1 Marine Comitatense legion?"

"If necessary yes. Along with some air defence assets. Head over to Sirnoth first."

"That will take a few days. A week or more."

"Do what you must."

====================================

A taskforce of 2 Wasp class LHDs, 2 hospital ships, 2 Bay class LSD and 3 Osumi class LSTs assembled at Crete, alone with 2 Ticonderonga cruisers and 4 KDX-III destroyers and 4 K-130 corvettes and 4 Visby minesweepers and ASW corvettes and 2 Invisible Hand Ocean Surveillance vessels, along with 1 Seawolf and 2 Virginia class submarines and 3 Akula II Mod submarines and 4 Type 212A submarines, along with 3 Fleet tenders and 2 Fleet oilers. This was a defence force, meant to escort their cargo to the destination. It will be a week before they were finished loading up their cargo. In the meantime, 1 F-15F ACTIVE regiment and 1 Eurofighter Typhoon regiment was deployed to Sirnoth.

4 An-124 and 8 An-22 went ahead to Astaria to pick up the embassy staff as well, and some doctors.

All navy ships and air defence units, air and ground, were on high alert.

[PeZook]

PeZookian 1st Air Defence Wing deploys to Sirnoth

The 1st Air Defence Wing, equipped with 72 Eurofighters, left for Sirnothi airbases today. The 122nd and 123rd Armored Cavalry Divisions have received orders to prepare their equipment for loading onto cargo ships, and began marching towards southern seaports.

"Shepistan is a rabid dog", one army general was quoted as saying, "We may have to occupy the place and put it down."

PeZookian marine forces have also began concentrating in southern parts of the country. The government has issued no statement at this point, however travel restrictions have been introduced to "facilitate expedient transport and loading of military equipment".

[Siege]

Public Communique, Priority One

To all vessels in the Astarian Ocean:

All Ships Be Advised: Due to the state of war between the nations of Shepistan and Astaria, the San Dorado Sea Commerce Authority has upgraded the Attack Threat Level for the ocean regions surrounding Astaria and South Velaria from MODERATE to SUBSTANTIAL.

The Combined North-Frequesuan Navy has dispatched a task force to the region to ensure the safety of commercial shipping.

WARNING: High probability of pathogenic warfare on the Astarian mainland. Quarantine measures are now in effect. Do not approach the Astarian shore. Do not pick up refugee vessels or otherwise contact possible pathogen carriers. All ships suspected of Astarian trade coming into San Dorado harbors will be quarantined at portside isolation facilities.

[Shroom Man 777]

Shroomanian Stories



The 118th Tactical Fighter Squadron "Mobius" has been deployed to Sirnoth.

The Mobius squad is composed of Shroomania's first 15 F-22s and is the flagship squadron of the SAF, with the remaining half of the F-22 fleet on standby in the Shroomanian mainland.


Mobius squadron aircraft over the skies of Sirnoth.

The 6th Air Division, composed of Galm and Garuda squadrons, are also being deployed. Galm is composed of F-15 ACTIVEs and Garuda is composed of F-16 XLs.



The Mushroom Marines will be sending men and material to the Sirnoth Staging Site as well.

[Bluewolf]

“This is CBS 1 Late Night News, hello and welcome today.
After announcing sending aid to the war stricken country of Astaria, Prime Minister Joyce has today expressed interest in expanding his navy, including an aircraft carrier and expansions to his army. At 8:30pm the Prime Minister said that this was an important stride for Cialan and her safety.”
*screen cuts to a press conference with Ciaran on the stand*
“..and this will be a strong and important stride for Cialan and her safety as well enter an important age for us, our children and our children’s children.”

*Screen cuts back to news reporter*
“The Prime Minister also called upon the other parties to focus on the issue of defence and support any father expansions needed.”

Prime Ministers Office:

It had been an active day but his military adviser had convinced him. Expansion was needed and project Milky would have to be put forward faster. The build up around Astaria was getting huge and a war could soon occur. One that would tear nation upon nation apart. Cialan looked to keep a strong defence and offence when needed and such new weapons would be needed to augment the current fleet and troops. But another matter had to be sorted out if a crisis were to be averted. He picked up the phone and dialled a number, waiting on the tone.

“Hello, I wish to speak to the leader of Pezookia..its about that escort”

Result: Calls for a seller for naval and military expansion announced, Project Milky being pushed forward and a talk with Pezookia’s leader requested.

[RogueIce]

[Undisclosed Location], Shinra Republic

"So, the Shepistanis have launched a WMD attack on Astaria."

The conference room was silent. Nobody wanted to think about what must be happening on that island. Unfortunately, all present in the room knew anyway.

"Well, what do we do about it?"

"Not much we can do. We're involved in the Rangataran peacekeeping operation. That's taken BGs Three and Four, and BG One still has to patrol off the OC."

"Besides," this from the President himself. "This is Shepistan, and we're MESS. If we try to intervene, any hope the Old Dominion had for their peace plan could be sunk. Plus, they may retaliate against the OD anyway, just because they can. I'm afraid, ladies and gentlemen, a military response is just not feasible right now."

"I suppose then, we'll have to be diplomatic about it?" inquired the SECSTATE.

"That's our only option about now, I'm afraid."

**********************

Communication from the Shinra Republic to all governments

The Shinra Republic is horrified and most strongly condemns the Islamic Republic of Shepistan's use of biological weapons against the Sirnothi administered region of Astaria. We call upon all parties to cease the conflict and to find a nonviolent means to resolve this situation. Non-miltary aid in the form of food, medicine, and other civil supplies will be sent to Sirnoth for their government to distribute as they see fit.

Communication from the Shinra Republic to the Crimson Star Republic
Private message from President Shinra to President Stanislav

Comrade Stas,
While I note that your government has officially declared noninvolvment in the bioweapons attack, I feel it must be asked, given your nation's recent actions towards Astaria and the provision in the Treaty of Ustinov making South Velaria your protectorate, how much advance knowledge you had of this attack or one like it, and whether you attempted to deter the Shepistani action if so. I also ask you, as someone I consider a friend, and as one human being to another, to help me find a diplomatic solution to this matter.

The abolition of slavery in Astaria can be accomplished, I feel. And certainly this genocide of an entire nation is not what is needed to achieve that goal.

Sincerely,
President Rufus Shinra

**********************

Results:

• Shinra Republic condemns biological attack, calls for diplomatic solution. However, no military action will be taken
• Non-military aid is being sent to the Sirnothi mainland. Where their government sends it after that is up to them
• I've asked President Stanislav about his knowledge concerning these attacks. Also, there is a personal suspicion now of Shepistani and CSR collaboration because South Velaria was promised as a CSR protectorate in the Treaty of Ustinov

[Zor]

Retconned.

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Imperial Chronicles

"What in all the hells of this Earth is this damn treaty of Ustinov? Why in all the hells is CSR's damn paws on it?" demanded the Emperor.

"We had suspicions that there .. is a certain collaboration between CSR and Shepistan especially after the .. first biological attack by Shepistan," replied the BIA chief. "It seems that this provides confirmation for our suspicions."

"This is unacceptable. Is the CSR now trying to support mass murderers? Even going as far as colluding with them?"

"Well, sire, we ought to ask them."

Turning to Basilleus, "Basilleus, since Decius is busy firming up our diplomatic campaign to rally support for Astaria, I want you to go personally to CSR and talk to Zoran. I want you to get to the bottom of this. The SNC Conference be damned. I want to know what the hell is going on now."

[Siege]

State Dinner



Chinta Ria Restaurant, top floor of the San Dorado Sheraton

Chinta Ria was one of the best restaurants in San Dorado City: the restaurant had three Canissian Stars, a pleasantly modern interior, and offered a breathtaking view of the city-scape. Its nouveau-riche clientele could arrive by airship and helicopter. To dine here you had to reserve a table at least seven months in advance - unless you were the President of San Dorado or the CEO of Morgan Finances International, in which case you had your own private table.


Director Iago Morgan, DIFEI

"I'm honestly surprised", Director Iago Morgan commented coolly. Pricking a piece of beefsteak on his silver fork he looked ever his handsome dandy self. "I thought you'd have sent one or two relief ships to Astaria by now."


President Sidney Hank

"Oh?" President Hank hid his concern. In fact he had thought about that, but decided against it. "How is that?"

"Well Sidney, to be frankly honest - you've changed. When you contracted me to run DIFEI four years ago you were a hard son-of-a-bitch. You were all about free trade, you didn't give a damn who we sold to or what for. But then, three years ago I think it was... You just changed."

"Is that so?" Focus on the quiche, the President thought. He can't know. Not really, anyway. He decided focused his attention on the slice of Svalbardian Cheese Quiche in front of him. Fashioned with increasingly rare mushrooms, exquisite cheese and ancient wine, a piece cost some three thousand dollars. The President tried not to think about that too much either.

"Indeed. First clue I got was when you went to some lengths to convince us to join the then-budding FTO. Then came the whole PRSF clusterfuck. I hadn't imagined you'd make a big deal of that, but you did. And during the One Week War, you had us stay neutral and let Tonkin walk away with all the war contracts. You went to some lengths to establish diplomatic relations with a variety of foreign nations... And last week you offered pieces of land to Astarian expatriates. There's nothing left of the vaunted diplomatic isolationism you championed when you took office. You're not the Sidney Hank who hired me. Not anymore, anyway."

"Hmm", the President weighed his options. I can't tell him. He wouldn't believe me anyway. "Interesting. But yes: I had an epiphany, some three-odd years ago."

"An ephiphany?"

"I realized that we can't be like Tonkin. We're too small: we have to care what people think of us. Too many big dogs out there who could maul us if they so desired. Besides, if we stay on their good sides, they'll be far quicker to do business with us."

"Hmm, fair enough." Iago Morgan shook his head. "And it works."

"Yes, it does. Canissia is furnishing us with contracts. We've opened Byzantium as a market. Business with Shroomania has never been better. And the internal market on Frequesue is growing with the month. We've never done better. It seems the gamble paid off."

"But we're not helping Astaria."

"Not yet. I've ordered the William Dampier to load out as a mobile hospital and to be ready to surge ASAP, but we're going to see what happens first. I don't like it much, but it's our best option right now."

"I see. Three years ago you had this 'epiphany', you say?"

"Give or take."

"Was that the moment you went over to a plant-only diet too?"

Fortune damn me for hiring this perceptive bastard the President thought. He took a large swig of his wine, an excellent 1965 Chateau Diablo from the Vineyards. Vegetarianism was one of the few traits of his old self he had incorporated into his new self. It was only fair he got to keep some old traits, considering he now inhabited a body with a vicious alcoholic streak. "Yes. What about it?"

"Nothing", Morgan grinned. "Look, Sidney, I'm not Sam Ralson, your secrets are your own, alright? Like you said, the city's doing great because of your decisions, so whyever you changed your mind, I'm glad for it." The director leaned forward and smiled that damned charming smile of his. "Though tell me - are you and Daphne really having an affair?"

Result: San Dorado stays neutral for now. And the Directors are noticing old Sidney and new Sidney are different, for what that's worth.

[phongn]

IRT Closes Borders to Astarian Traffic

HUE - In light of the recent Shepistani declaration of war against Astaria, the IRT is immediately suspending any and all cargo, mercantile and passenger transit to vessel or aircraft with itineraries indicating a stopover at Astaria. Any ships attempting to make port will be prevented from making port "by any means necessary." Aircraft inbound will be ordered to divert; two remote emergency airfields have been chosen if needed ...

LLE Shroomtofortress Sale to Shinra

SAIGON - Aviation Week has learned that a sale of 40 LLE B-52J heavy bombers was approved some time ago by Hue and the first deliveries are now soon to be expected ...

Excerpt from a National Security Commission meeting

The ability to apply force selectively and flexibly will become increasingly important in maintaining the morale and will of the free-market world to resist aggression. As the fear of nuclear war grows, the Incorporated Republic of Tonkin must never allow themselves to get into the position where they must choose between (a) not responding to local aggression and (b) applying force in a way which our own people would consider entails undue risk of nuclear devastation. However, the Incorporated Republic cannot afford to preclude itself from using nuclear weapons even in a local situation, if such use. . . will best advance IRT security interests. In the last analysis, if confronted by the choice of (a) acquiescing in foreign aggression or (b) taking measures risking either general war or loss of support, the Incorporated Republic must be prepared to take these risks if necessary for its security.