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Lonestar
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Post by Lonestar »

Fort Worth Star-Telegram
Secret LSR Spaceplane?
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The Star-Telegram has learned that in the course of the most recent difficulties, a secret LSR "Single Stage to orbit"(SSTO) was deployed with the intent of guaranteeing a nuclear strike on the Shepnukistani capital of Landover.

"L3 Aerospace has been getting over $2bil in 'unspecified funds' a year since 2008,"
Aviation Weekly Editor-in-Chief Bob Hannigan said. "It now seems likely that the rocketplane, what we've heard described as BLACK COLT, was developed to match the very high speed high-altitude bombers that the Shepnukistanis were developing. "

The rocketplane, according to eyewitnesses, apperently uses normal jet engines to ferry itself to a high altitude, where it would then take on fuel for it's rockets. It's unlikely that the plane has been fully tested.

"Someone would have noticed that thing screeching across the night sky ." Hannigan said.
"The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles."
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Post by Coyote »

PeZookian Compound, Atlantis




"Hey, Paul," Arik said, "This is Samira," he said by way of introduction, "And my aide, Colonel Rassnar, will be around as well."
"Arik," Paul said, and introduced his wife. It was the pre-dinner time, few people had arrived, and there was a relaxed aura-- not the relaxation of happiness and comfort, but the relaxation that follows a period of intense stress.

"So," Paul said, with a pregnant pause, "What do you think?"

Arik looked around, technically looking at the inside of the PeZookian building but obviously taking in all of Atlantis.

"I think it's a good thing Canissia didn't invest too much in our plot o' land here," Arik finally said, "Everything this place ever is, or was supposed to be... it's a lie. It's a place where Blackadder could herd us in and bump us off one by one if he wanted. I feel like I'm in an Agatha Christie novel."

"Yeah," Paul said, his voice weighted with sadness, "For a moment there was hope."
"Gods, even Saddam was more reasonable," Arik said. "If anything, you know what this does? I actually identify with Saddam's paranoia. He's justified in his paranoia. I may join him," he said, quickly adding, "Joke."

"Heh," Paul grunted a laugh that his heart wasn't in. "Well, undeniably, an aura of fear has descended like a shroud over everything we've done here. What are we going to do about it, though, that's what I wonder."

"I think the Bear Republic is considering an alternate meeting site," Arik said, "I think that's a good diea; or we can have a string of sites that we rotate through. You know Stas and I are building a bridge, a literal bridge, between our nations-- maybe that, in all its symbolism, would be a good place..."

"FUN and MESS?" Paul said, with a smile.
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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Raj Ahten
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Post by Raj Ahten »

ProTec News
Despite the uncertain political situation, ProTec went back to tttraining thje PAP in Neverhood. The new government hadn't rescinded the contract, so ProTec went back to work. They contnued to keep a close on on things.

In Libertopia operations also went back to normal as doomsday had not rolled around yet.
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Post by Fingolfin_Noldor »

Imperial Chronicles

"Well, there's plenty of wine for everyone," said the Emperor when he arrived in the PeZookian embassy. "Best wine from the Greek vineyards at that. The vineyards fortunately did not meet their end in the recent conflict, though we saved their seeds and soil in a secret room."

And yes there were 24 bottles of wine of the finest vintage. A few additional bottles of Port, Sangria in the mix as well. "I think given the circumstances, we should indulge a little, don't you think?" And King Paul and Arik gave the Emperor bewildered looks.

"But let's make haste. I don't like being on an island that clearly has too many UKB spooks. Even my own aircraft feels safer."
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Post by CmdrWilkens »

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Today the Royal Court of Appeals confirmed the ruling the Court of the District for the Capital District. In abstentia the court has convicted King Blackadder of one count of murder in the first degree, twelve counts of reckless endangerment and on count of illegal violation of national sovereignty. The prosecution moved swiftly in the wake of the gruesome scene of Kin Blackadder gunning down President Sheppard of Shepnukistan.

"Whatever other our feeling about Shepnukistan leaders of nations CANNOT be allowed to engage in such behavior," said Sir Jeffrey Watkins the District Attorney for the Captial District. "Our nation may have had war delcared upon it by Shepnukistan but such matters were both open an straightforward. What Blackadder has engaged in is little more than coldly gunnign down a man because he wouldn't kowtow to how he see's the world."

Spokesmen for the defense team were not available for comment aside from a single written statment syaing hat they were please the court had struck down death as punishment and reduced any possible sentence to life imprisonment. Citizens just returning from the forced evacuations of last week were shocked by the turn of events.

"We just managed to start talking about nuking each other and now Blackadder wants to blast us from the Heavens?"

"I expect our King to defend his country not shot a man in cold blood"

"If he was going to do this why couldn't he have done it a month ago before we all nealry died from the panic?"

Opinion was somewhat mixed in that very few said that they truly mourned the passing of Sheppard but all indicated that they would never set foot on Atlantis again. The Foreign Ministry apparnelty agrees and statments have been issued indicating that they intend to close down the Wilkonian and MESS embassies on Atlantis. Discussions amongst members of the MESS and the FUN are apparently underway for a new locaiton to serve as a true neutral meeting point.


/OOC edited some spelling and clarified the charges a little bit.
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Post by Coyote »

CANISSIAN PARLIAMENT, IN CONTACT WITH KING ARIK COYOTUS-I, LIFTS STATE OF EMERGENCY

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At a late-night meeting of the Royal Canissian Parliament, and after long-distance consultation with His Majesty the King, it was greed that the state of emergency is lifted. Business shall resume as normal at th eearliest opportunity.

"It is tragically unfortunate that this crisis unfolded at all," said the Foreign Minister, Ren Lars. "That it unfolded in such a tragically dramatic way, and during a season normally reserved for celebration and thanksgiving, underscores how deeply this has affected us."

The Parliament went on to say that the next two days were a working holiday, as people returned to the cities, re-occupied their houses and places of work, and prepared for business. The upcoming weekend would also be a time for reflection and services to thos elost in the brief war with Shepnukistan and Adrianopolis.

"Of all the combatants, and potential combatants, among the various alliances, Canissian and Wilkonian soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines were the ones primarily engaged in actual fighting," the Foreign Minister went on to say. During the war, there were three flashpoints: the South Seas War, primarily between Adrianopolis and Canissian fleets, with Wikonian forces arriving to deliver the coup d'grace, and the North Neverhood, in which Wilkonian Army units exchanged brief but furious fire with Nukistani units.

And, of course, there was an exchange of artillery and missile fire between Canissia and Nukistan, the only direct exchange of fire between combatant homelands on each others' native soil.

The death toll for Canissia was 1,788 killed; of which about 48 were civilians caught in the rocket attacks from Nukistan. Most of the war dead were sailors killed in the South Seas War with Adrianopolis.

Casualties among Adrianopolis and Nukistan forces are unknown.

Memorial services will be held at a variety of venues, but the King will preside over a general ceremony for all Canissians lost in the conflict. He also plans to attend a smaller, mass service for the civilians. Monuments to the dead are being planned, and a memorial will also be coordinated with Wilkonian representatives as well, to honor their sacrifices.

More controversial will be the King's plans to recognise the dead of Nukistan. No actual ceremony is planned, but the King did issue a statement saying that "...those who have been killed in Nukistani service were, in a way, victims themselves-- victims of a misguided foreign policy, and a severe breakdown of communication."

The King is known to privately mourn the death of President Mark Sheppard, who was --despite the recent events-- a personal acquaintance of His Majesty.

"Shep may have had his faults," the King said, "But he didn't deserve what happened. He had a right to due process, a fair trial... the neutrality and protection, safe passage that was implicit in the promise of Atlantis has turned illusory. In th enext few days, I will speak with the leaders of the MESS, the FUN, and the unaligned nations to see if we can work together to bring a new wind of change to Nova Terra."

The King is currently at the PeZookian compound in Atlantis, and will be returning within a few days.
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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Post by Coiler »

(OOC: This was announced to MariusRoi via PM earlier, but I'm making it public)

Coilerburg requests purchase of Tejas fighters

Coilerburg has contacted New Patira with a request to purchase five "Tejas" light fighters to equip its air force.
Visitor of five museum ships.
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

PeZookian Compound, Atlantis

"Hello everyone," Shroom greeted as he entered the suite. "This is Alison, she's here to help me out."

Paul and the others nodded in understanding. They knew their friend was having a really hard time - the "great man", as portrayed by the media, who made the AXIS and helped bring about the FUN, was nothing but a very mere mortal, and such acts, the responsibilities they entailed, and recent events had all taken their toll on him. It had taken its toll on all of them.

Shroom took a sip of some of that delicious Byzantium brew.

"This is some good stuff, Emperor."

As the discussions progressed, he concurred with the statement of his fellows. There was nothing much he could say, all he could do was amble along and hope for the best.

"I don't feel safe here anymore," he said. "I can't believe we had that New Year's party here, without knowing that His Excellency could, at any time of his choosing..." he didn't have to continue. "I really don't feel safe here. I don't think I could've just walked here myself... I look around every once in a while, and sometimes I think I see things moving in the shadows, and I know they're watching me. There are cameras, but there's also the people. The staff... the waiters..."

"He got to Shep's VP. If he could've done that... he could've gotten to any of our people permanently stationed here. You're right, Arik. It was all a lie."

Arik made a crack at Emperor Saddam the Great's expense.

"It's not a joke and it's not funny," Shroom uttered. "It's not because it's true."

They all looked at him.

"Saddamistan did nothing during the crisis. Even during the brink of war. Afterwards, they saw the stakes and Saddam the Great even sent his third begotten son here because he knew what was at risk. But look at what Blackadder did... what he said to him. What he said to him right after he killed Shep."

"Everyone might think I'm losing it... and maybe I am. But I think the one whose really gone mad here is Blackadder. Mad with power. He's got death hovering over us, in space. He's now in control of the most powerful Imperium in the world - yes, ladies and gentlemen, Shepnukistan is now his puppet."

"He saw that everything he was scheming for, all that back-dealing with Saddamistan, all of that OMSK-stuff we don't know about, that not even you might know about Stas, that was almost kaput when the UAR came to be," Shroom rambled on. "His plans were nearly ruined, and he didn't like it. So when the opportunity arose, he decided to get back at Shep, to get back at Saddam... and who knows? Maybe he's gonna get back at you, or you, or any of us or all of us."

"We will trade one demon with another. The UAR is gone, but we'll see Blackadder and his pet Shepnukistan. The UAR had the decency to shoot at us in our faces. Blackadder will take our countries away from us, have our own men hold us down, and then execute us. Then he'll save the world again, an hero for us all."

"Yes, Arik. I understand now why Emperor Saddamistan is so paranoid. I understand it fully. He was right. We were wrong. We have to admit that. And... we might need his help."
Last edited by Shroom Man 777 on 2008-06-04 01:49pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

The People's Brotherhood of Dockworkers, and the Norse Longshoreman's Guild have both condemened the actions of the Kingdom of Blackadder. PBD 714 represenative stated that "any time a Blackadder vessel comes into any brotherhood controlled port, they will be getting our 'service' right here." *clutching his crotch* "Hell the Vikings will probably burn their ships before they service them."


Elsewhere Jason was grinning like a cheshire cat, the soldier had been drunk enough that he had decided to take up the avatar fight with the help of a couple of his buddies. Straightening out his dislocated shoulder, he almost came. They didn't understand a fight with someone whose goal was inflict and recieve pain, was pretty much a foregone conclusion. limping he made his way to the nearest public phone to report their unconcious bodies were in the alleyway. The fucking bastards had broken his cell phone.
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The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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Post by PeZook »

PeZookian compound, replica classic mansion

The dinner was not actually being hosted in the compound proper. The plot of land which was handed over to PeZookia was built up with a proper embassy/office building and some other things which the designers felt represented the "feel" of PeZookia best.

One of those buildings was a classic Polish noble's mansion - the unique architecture of these buildings were part of the King's soul, and his country was so much adapted to his soul that it represented PeZookia very good indeed.

Image

In the main dining hall, the food was light. Quite correctly, Paul thought the delegates would not be in a mood for heavy eating, though some classic dishes were available: such as pierogi or bigos.

There was, of course, a crapload of various alcohols. The King figured it would be needed: Greek wines from Byzantium, Bear Republican "Mighty Furball" beer and of course a wide assortment of cold PeZookian and Technocracy vodkas.

//OOC: More in a couple of hours//
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JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
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Post by Coyote »

PORT SERENITY, GOTTLAND

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Image

Scarred, burned, and hard-hit, the South Seas Fleet limped into port. The RMS Sonora was towed, the RMS Owyhee had been scuttled. The 2nd FRIGDIV was intact but badly hammered; the surviving subs of 2nd HK group were almost pristine, but the third sub of their group was gone forever.

The people of Gottland, while not Canissian citizens or even MESS members, were still the neighbors, community members, and vendors that lived next to the Royal Navy crews that lived there, and their families. It was a mournful homecoming, tinged with grateful relief for those that found friends among the survivors.

Still, some Canissian widows learned the worst, and the Royal Navy and Gottland communities both embraced them in their grief.

There would be time to mourn those gone; and soon there would be time to celebrate and welcome those who came home. But all over the world, that odd feeling of relief and drained tension, that mixture of exhaustion and euphoria, coursed through the winds.


CANISSIAN SOUTHERN FLEET
RMS Atlantica (Flag); Commodore Alex Manstein [heavy damage]

52nd DESDIV:
RMS Owyhee (Flag); brevet-Commodore Rex Bartley [scuttled]
RMS Sonora; Capt. Randall Hearst [heavy damage, towed to port]

2nd FRIGDIV:
RMS Hera [heavy damage]
RMS Heracles [moderate damage]
RMS Damocles [moderate damage]
RMS Ceres [damage to fight deck]

102nd HYFOIL Squadron
RMS Tauron; Corvette Captain Steve Anders
RMS Picon
RMS Caprica [utterly destroyed]
RMS Gemonon

HK Team 002:
RMS Diamondback
RMS Anaconda [missing, presumed lost]
RMS Copperhead
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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Post by phongn »

CLASSIFIED / TOP SECRET / MEETING MINUTES BOARD OF DIRECTORS

DEFENSE [D]: " Our launch sites are hardened against direct attack. If he wants to dig them out, he'll have to use the big rods we suspect he has up there. The little ones won't do at all. Given known orbit times, we might be able to get a few boosters up. "

PRESIDENT [P]: " Defenses? We've spent a fortune on missile and air-defense. "

D:" Not against this. Engagement time is too low once a satellite is overhead. We might be able to try and blind it with lasers, but its targeting system is probably independent. We'd have to go after the GPS constellation as well and those are well out of easy reach. "

P: "So you're telling me we can knock a few of those damned launch systems out of orbit before we run out of boosters or launch sites, and then get every military asset we have hit. "

D: " That's right. We believe every country in the world who can afford it is now scrambling on how to negate his systems. And God knows how he was able to afford it. And attacking a strategic launch system? We might as well be tossing nukes at them. "

D: " SIOP-UKB is thin. They're covered on virtually all sides by other countries and it's a long way there even with tanker support for our bombers. We were expecting to have to defend against the UAR or the MESS, perhaps stage bombers against FUN from the UAR. Not deal with the UKB, which will require staging from MESS or FUN airbases ... "

D: " One option might be a decapitation strike, except that we'd have to use something fast to hit any transmitters he has as well as their NCA. We can't guarantee that."
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

LIVE on ShroomSatTV
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
COME CANISSIA

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Gottish F-18s fly over the Canissian Southern Fleet, providing airspace security and supporting the sailors of Canissia.

NEW GOTTLAND - As the Canissian Southern Fleet returns to Port Serenity to mend their grievous wounds, the Gottish people welcome the Canissian sailors back to their second home. In a show of hospitality and solidarity, the Gottish residents joined their Canissian friends in mourning for the loss of friends and allies, and in helping them repair the Canissian warships, and treating the injured and wounded.

It is a time of mourning and also a time of healing for both Canissia's men and machines wounded in the line of duty - in the defense of a fragile peace that was threatened by the near-onset of the unthinkable.

Together with the Gottish authorities, Shroomanian personnel also stationed in New Gottland have given the Canissians their condolences and their thanks on behalf of the entire Fungal Union of Nations.
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
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Post by Vohu Manah »

News briefs from the Qudlivun Free State

Grand Duke returns from Atlantis Conference
What transpired is well known at this point but the Grand Duke upon returning to our shores refused to comment. The accompanying Vice Minister of Foreign Affairs stated that the government will be meeting over what transpired. A formal protest is not expected but the government may withdraw from future Atlantis Conferences over the incident.

Non-civilian UAR restrictions will not be rescinded
The territorial restrictions for non-civilian UAR flagged vessels and craft as well as any vessel or craft bound to or returning from UAR territory will not be rescinded at this time. Civilian traffic is not affected by the ban.

Government debates diplomatic overture to Saddamistan
The sole defense concern of the Qudlivun Free State is the international pariah state of the Arab Socialist Ba'ath Empire of Saddamistan. In light of what has transpired recently the Prime Minister has announced her intention to seek an audience with the Saddamistan leadership and establish normal diplomatic ties with the country. The Prime Minister has stated that the recent economic strains resulting from increased defense spending might be unnecessary if the nation had a way to communicate with its powerful southern neighbor. There is some opposition to her plan but that hasn't stopped this Prime Minister before.
There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who think it’s perfectly reasonable to strip-search a 13-year-old girl suspected of bringing ibuprofen to school, and the kind who think those people should be kept as far away from children as possible … Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between drug warriors and child molesters.” - Jacob Sullum[/size][/align]
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Post by K. A. Pital »

PeZookian compound

- Absinth Red, - the Secretary General took another shot.

He then mixed it with champagne in a strict 3-to-1 proportion and drank again, to soothe the spirit.

- Personally, I don't know what to say, - he nodded to the people assembled over the table. - Let me be frank, I mourned Shep as a friend and even made a mourning ceremony in the Omsk Airport, for 1 minute of silence. But Sheppard was endangering the entire world, and I am not earnestly sorry he has passed.

- But Bean shot him like in some sort of Bond movie... - muttered someone. - And Saddam...

- Bean's eccentric behaviour might not serve him well in the future. But for now, we are able to resume daily life without an imminent threat of total nuclear annihilation. More than that, Saddamistan's recent seizure actions might lead to a very nasty turn of events: Shepnukistan's new leader could well interpret this as an act of war. Let them sort it out. It's none of our business that the UAR has fallen now.

- As for Saddamistan's isolationism, let them be. Blackadder ruined the old bioweapons ban, and a new one is impossible for those reasons. But Saddamistan already is isolationist.
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Post by Coyote »

OFFICE OF THE CANISSIAN MINISTRY OF DEFENSE; NEVE TIKVEH, CANISSIA

"Well, what have we learned from this?" Defense Minister Ral Tenn asked. He had his Joint Chiefs of Staff assembled, and after-action reports had been pouring in over the last couple of days-- exactly as they should have been.

"Our forces in the field performed admirably," said the Navy Chief, Admiral Ken Hurvitz, "I'd recommend more training, especially gunnery drills, and expanding our Destroyer fleet. I think three Destroyers per Division would be wise, and give sufficient flexibility."

"It certainly gave the Marina Armada an edge," the Defense Minister said grimly in reply, "An extra heavy would have come in handy. We went with two Destroyers per Division for cost purposes, but let's re-examine that. We can re-assign what we have, and decrease coverage; we can build more of the Arleigh-Burkes, and cancel something else to pay for it; or we can buy something new with the rest of the MESS."

"I think we should see what else our allies are making," Admiral Hurvitz said, "And maybe pitch in with them and get some economy of scale."

"Do we make cuts in the Anuket-class, the Type-332 Minesweepers, or the support ships?" DM Tenn asked. The Admiral shrugged.
"I know the King loves his Anuket corvettes, but small ships just get tore up out there. Corvettes and 'foils are good for brushfire wars and littoral work, but big fleet actions can and do happen, and we need to be ready."

"Are we just getting ready for the last war, though?" the DM asked, playing Devil's Advocate. "Let's face it, the chances are higher that we'll see small-unit action. I'm with re-deploying existing Destroyers to fill out heavier Divisions. It a fix we can make now without incurring extra cost, and it will do while we shop for a better solution." He turned to the Army Chief of Staff, but there was little for the Army to report-- they'd done an excellent job securing the homeland, directing civilian traffic, and securing sensitive sites in coordination with the militias and the Royal Border Guards.

Then came the Air Force.

"Sir, we need more air defenses," said General McReady, "And now, we need something to deal with this rod of god thing we have hanging over our heads. I suggets we work in tight coordination with the rest of MESS to come up with some sort of integrated air defense netowrk that can deal with incoming missiles, and the UKB threat."

"We should work with the Red Technocracy on that," said the Army Chief, "We're so close together, geographically, that what affects us would affect them, and vice versa."

"Hell, may as well make it a FUN-MESS joint venture," said McReady. "Spread the budget..."
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
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General Deathdealer
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Post by General Deathdealer »

[size-18]Baal Daily News[/size]

Mandatory Military Service Rescinded

The Ministry of Defense announced today that they are hereby rescinding the directive that all individuals must serve 2 years in the military once they reach the age of 18.

"We were planning on doing this at the beginning of the year, but with the threat of total war and everything we just postponed it. Our troop formations are at full strength and our recruiting goals are currently being met. Based on these factors, we do not feel it is necessary to have the mandatory service in place any more."
"Don't fuck with The Mess. Unless you've been there, done that, and have the t-shirt, shut your cakehole." - Me
"By the Blood of Sanguinius" - Blood Angels Battlecry
"The enemies of the Emperor fear many things. They fear discovery, defeat, despair and death. Yet there is one thing they fear above all others. They fear the wrath of the Space Marines." - Anonymous
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Post by General Deathdealer »

Baal Daily News

COBRAM MKII Research Put On Hold

The Ministry of Defense announced today that further research into the COBRAM MKII Power Armor will be suspended.

"We have currently gone as far as we can with the research into this system. We are being held back by current technology in portable power generation. We will keep the plans out and up to date, but we will not continue research until the power generation problem has been solved."
"Don't fuck with The Mess. Unless you've been there, done that, and have the t-shirt, shut your cakehole." - Me
"By the Blood of Sanguinius" - Blood Angels Battlecry
"The enemies of the Emperor fear many things. They fear discovery, defeat, despair and death. Yet there is one thing they fear above all others. They fear the wrath of the Space Marines." - Anonymous
"This can't be good" - Sherriff Jack Carter
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Vohu Manah
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Post by Vohu Manah »

News briefs from the Qudlivun Free State

Militia stand down ordered, MoD leave freeze discontinued
The first order of business for the Grand Duke of the Qudlivun Free State was the process of disarming the militia (only the heavy munitions, of course, the militia maintains their own small arms). With the threat of major military action averted His Grace sees no purpose in continuing the heightened state of military readiness. His Grace also ordered the Ministry of Defense to discontinue the leave freeze program and begin allowing soldiers to take vacations. Due to the high expected demand it will take some time before normal leave practices can be observed.
There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who think it’s perfectly reasonable to strip-search a 13-year-old girl suspected of bringing ibuprofen to school, and the kind who think those people should be kept as far away from children as possible … Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between drug warriors and child molesters.” - Jacob Sullum[/size][/align]
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

PeZookian compound, Atlantis

"Very well then," Prime Minister Shroom uttered coldly. "But let us never forget what happened here. Never. We may not be able to do anything now, and we may not want to - because we know not what course of action there is to take. But in the future, there will come a time when we will be confronted by what has been sowed today - and we must be sure that by then we will be ready to reap it, with a scythe if necessary."
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Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

Agreed, sorry my thoughts are a bit pre-occupied. Xanadu was never my home, and I doubt I could entertain anyone there with memories of what just happened. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Blackadder shall soon learn that the nations of this world won't get fooled again.

I think since no one trusts this place for neutrality or diplomacy, and anything launching from here in the future may likely be shot down. That in the future space launches, any of them, will be posted internationally well ahead of time, inspectors allowed to come and go, see the facility, examine the vehicle, and so long as no one objects the launch may take place. We can not let this hang over our head, and we can not allow a sociopath to have a monopoly.
Last edited by The Yosemite Bear on 2008-06-04 02:30pm, edited 1 time in total.
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The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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Post by MKSheppard »

Group of Nukistani Forces Neverhood Headquarters, East Neverhood

The men who crept throughout the night's darkness wore Wilkonian uniforms and were armed with MESS-issue weapons that had been stolen from various MESS nation's arms depots by unsavory troops.

But they weren't Wilkonians or any other MESS nation's men. They were agents of the Group of Tactical Forces (Operations), the top Shepnukistani black bag agency; and their orders came from President Garner himself.

Their job: kill General Ye Di Wen, commander of the Group of Nukistani Forces, Neverhood. Until recently, General Ye had been a Lieutenant General commanding VI Armored Corps; but that was before the former President Sheppard had promoted him to four-star generalship and the GNFN's commandant.

All over Shepnukistan that night, the teams of GTFO were fanning out to liquidate any pockets of Sheppard loyalists. In most of their missions, they succeeded, and managed to plant evidence that linked the attacks to MESS forces.

Unfortunately for this particular team of GTFO operatives, at that moment, the General was walking his pair of Schutzhund trained German Shepherds; who broke their collars and ran off into the night barking at the top of their lungs upon smelling the unfamiliar strangers. General Ye stared at his now empty leashes for a moment before his brain realized what was going on.

"INFILTRATORS IN THE WIRE!"

The night erupted in gunfire as the guard posts reacted to the intruders.

Within ten minutes it was all over, and they had managed to capture a few survivors from the assault team. Following General Ye's orders, they were isolated and placed in different cells. Slid under the door of each cell was a note informing the survivors that they had, by Nukistani Military Law, been recognized as unlawful combatants; and as thus, all of them were being sent to the Neverhoodian Special Administrative Detention Facility; which was unofficially known within the Republic as "Shepmo."

Life expectancy was about three months once you went in. This fact was well known to all the captives; and also further down the note, was a handwritten missive from General Ye informing them that the first person to talk would be executed at dawn, while the rest would be sent to Shepmo.

It only took fifteen minutes for the first GTFO operative to crack, and crack he did.

"So, this is all part of a conspiracy to subvert the Republic!" muttered General Ye as he read the report on the interrogation of the prisoner. Secret dealings between the Strategic High Internal Executive Logistics Directorate (SHIELD) and the UKB's intelligence services, Vice President Garner, all leading up to the assassination of President Sheppard, with the seeming goal to reduce Shepnukistan to an UKB vassal.

"What do we do, sir?" asked Ye's aide, uncertainity in his voice.

"We do the only thing we can do," replied Ye, his voice firm. "Obey our oaths, and defend Shepnukistan against all enemies, foreign and domestic"

Later that Day, Nukistani Presidental Residence

"What the fuck is going on? You told me that Sheppard's allies and friends would be dealt with!" shouted President Garner, his face beet-red.

"Ah, sir, most of them were dealt with, in fact, our only failure really was with General Ye," offered the GTFO Senior Director, a GS-16.

"Shut the fuck up, you're a GS-1 now; get out of my face."

Garner watched with satisfaction as the now-demoted man's face turned a waxy color as he stumbled his way out of the presidental office.

"How bad is it?" he asked his military aide.

"Bad sir; Virtually all of the GNFN have declared their loyalty to General Ye; and we've just learned that the Speaker of the House has been holding secret exchanges with the General."

"Goddamnit." muttered Garner.

"Have someone find the fucking Speaker and put him where the sun don't shine."

"Several Strategic Air Command bomb group commanders have also declared their loyalty to the General."

"What the fuck?" roared Garner.

"Sir, unfortunately, SAC was President Sheppard's personal pet toy; much of SAC's higher leadership owes their jobs to him; and they remembered the former president's staunch support for SAC at budget time."

"Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck."

"Wait, wait. There's a contigency for this. Order any SAC commanders still loyal to their government to execute WHITE RHINO."

[OOC; the plan for nuclear strikes against rogue military units in Shepnukistan]

Footage from the rebellious fronts

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Loyalist Forces Engaging Garner's Forces, somewhere in Rockville, Shepnukistan

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Footage taken from an Shroomian News Network Helicopter which was shot down over Laurel, Shepnukistan
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by Decue »

High Lord Bönne expresses his condolences to families and friends of Canissian Southern fleet as Gottish and Canissian citizens and welcomes the survivors home.
Hundreds was attending the welcome home parade, many of those who had lost loved ones and returned home to an empty house. Some were relieved that their loved ones had only sustained injuries.

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A few police tries to lighten up the damp mood during the "welcome home" parade for the Canissian Royal Navy.
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

"We got the stratellite now, Steve - and Dark Liquid PMCs guarding us. No one can stop the signal!"



LIVE on ShroomSatTV
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
SHOWDOWN SHEPNUKISTAN

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All out war erupts in Shepnukistan.

"Shepnukistanis! Follow me to freedom!" is the rally cry of all sides of the sudden but inhumanly violent war in Shepnukistan, where pro-Sheppard forces and Garner-loyalists are locked in mortal combat with one another.

Despite the recent change in the Nukistani government, there have been elements in the Shepnukistani military - particularly in the Strategic Air Command - that refused to recognize the legitimacy of the new government.

President Garner took power in the wake of President Sheppard's summary execution in the Atlantis Neutral Zone, courtesy of King Joseph Blackadder VI.

This disagreement has now escalated as both sides allege that the other has attempted to purge the nation of any who would disagree in an exchange of words, bullets, artillery, missile and bomb.

The Shepnukistani civilians caught in the middle of this have effectively formed a third faction, declaring the tyranny of former President Shepard's regime while also not recognizing the new Garner government, demanding the institution of free elections.

This breakdown in Nukistani civil order has been joined by the further degradation of Neverhoodian affairs as factions and sides and allegiances intersect in an all-out battle for not only contested Neverhood, but also Nukistan.

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Groups such as the NINJA have made a resurgence as the populace of both nations seek their own fates amidst the madness of the military mayhem.
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
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Post by Vohu Manah »

Official Communiqué from the Qudlivun Free State to the Arab Socialist Ba'ath Empire of Saddamistan

On behalf of His Grace, Grand Duke Vohu Manah of the Qudlivun Free State, and our Prime Minister Armaiti Mazda the Ministry for Foreign Affairs is requesting a cabinet-level meeting between officials from our government and yours concerning the permanent exchange of ambassadors and the mutual defense concerns of both of our nations.

Fredrick Isgrig
Minister for Foreign Affairs
There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who think it’s perfectly reasonable to strip-search a 13-year-old girl suspected of bringing ibuprofen to school, and the kind who think those people should be kept as far away from children as possible … Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between drug warriors and child molesters.” - Jacob Sullum[/size][/align]
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