SDNWorld Redux: Story Thread the Second

[Shroom Man 777]

Shroomanian Stories
UNFINISHED BUSINESS


The Shepistani Shroomermax Embassy, Goldenberg Desert, Shroomania

The Shroomermax Prison that had been converted into the Shepistani Embassy was now, once more, a prison. The Mushroom Marines formed a perimeter of steel around the gates. The fortifications that kept prisoners and other species of shitpieces in were doing just their job - keeping the Shepistani shitpieces locked like animals - but the true FUCKERS had ensured that it kept everyone out as well. Land mines and machine gun's nests and other forms of fortifications were just the beginning of the Marines' problems.

The beginning of everyone's problems began with the Pathogen War's end, after the Sovereignty brokered a peace treaty between Shepistan and Zoria - the only FUN nation to declare war on the fuckers - and after both Shepistan and Astaria were doomed to die a diseased death. After the Shroomanian and Zorian diplomats ended up keeling over due to the biological agents ingrained in the Shep-mailed peace treaty letters.

At the same time, it turned out that Sheppos in Shroomania were preparing to, figuratively, spread the love some more. Most of these agents were from the Embassy, having left and gone to cover beforehand, but they were tracked down. The Shepistani Embassy was located in the middle of the desert for that reason. There was a price, though. Frank the Elephant was now recovering in the intensive care unit of St. Mammaria's Medical Center, under the care of Byzantine physician-abortionist Doctor Gregor Hausenhorn. Other SSS men were not so lucky.

The foiled plot resulted in the Shepistani Embassy's complete and utter lockdown. The people in the goddamn place refused to accept the generous terms offered by Prime Minister Shroom, who did not want to order the execution of what could be the world's last remaining un-infected population of Shepistanis, so that was that.

The order had been given.

The F-16XLs flew in low, hard and fast, and the five hundred pound bombs blew a massive hole through the main building. As burnt and blasted body parts started falling from the sky, the Challenger 2 tanks followed suit by leveling their 120mm Schrometall cannons at the watchtowers and firing for effect - with results very much like that of a lumberjack cutting down a tree.

"TIMBER!!!" shouted Mushroom Marine Major Murray McMan.



With his beardy proclamation, the tanks rolled in to kill every last goddamn Shepistani in the motherfucking compound.

At least the ones who didn't surrender, or to be exact, surrender by lying on the ground and dying.

The attack helicopters came, and their speaker phones blared Shroomy Cash for all to hear.



And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder: One of the four beasts saying: "Come and see." And I saw. And behold, a white horse.

There's a man goin' 'round takin' names. An' he decides who to free and who to blame. Everybody won't be treated all the same. There'll be a golden ladder reaching down. When the man comes around.

The hairs on your arm will stand up. At the terror in each sip and in each sup. For you partake of that last offered cup, Or disappear into the potter's ground. When the man comes around.

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers. One hundred million angels singin'. Multitudes are marching to the big kettle drum. Voices callin', voices cryin'. Some are born an' some are dyin'. It's Alpha's and Omega's Kingdom come.



"Hit the tanks!" screamed the Shepistani stragglers. "Kill them! Kill them all! MOHAMMAD JIHAD! AL-SHEPPARD!"

Grey contrails streaked through the pre-dug Shepistani trenches within the compound, anti-tank missiles striking the armor of the Shroomanian Challenger 2s.

"Sappers! They've got sappers!" the surprised shout filled the Shroomanian tanker radio channels. "Someone get rid of those fucking pests!"

"On the double!" came the reply from the Mushroom Marines. "Burn fuckers! KILLFUCK SOULSHITTER!"

"BAKALAKADAKA ALLAH!!!!" screamed a Sheppo. "They've got flamethrowers!"



And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree. The virgins are all trimming their wicks. The whirlwind is in the thorn tree. It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks.

Till Armageddon, no Shalam, no Shalom. Then the father hen will call his chickens home. The wise men will bow down before the throne. And at his feet they'll cast their golden crown. When the man comes around.

Whoever is unjust, let him be unjust still. Whoever is righteous, let him be righteous still. Whoever is filthy, let him be filthy still. Listen to the words long written down, When the man comes around.

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers. One hundred million angels singin'. Multitudes are marchin' to the big kettle drum. Voices callin', voices cryin'. Some are born an' some are dyin'. It's Alpha's and Omega's Kingdom come.



"They're on fire! Sweet Shroom, they're on fire!"

"I love the smell of shroompalm in the morning."

"MOHAMMAD ALI!!!!"

"They're still alive! Don't let up! Keep it up! Continue the gratuitous violence!"

"I think they're all dead, sir."

"No, they're not. Keep on killing them!"

"Aye-aye, sir!"

"Keep on killing!"

"Fix bayonets!"



And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree. The virgins are all trimming their wicks. The whirlwind is in the thorn tree. It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks.

In measured hundredweight and penny pound. When the man comes around.

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts, And I looked and behold: a pale horse. And his name, that sat on him, was Death. And Hell followed with him.



"They're all dead, sir."

"Good. Now let's turn on the tele, shall we?"




*click*

LIVE on ShroomStratTV
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
ACHTUNG! ANNEXATION, ARABIA, BUSINESS, BIOWAR, CAILAN, CANISSIA

Achtung! We are pleased to give the following news:

- The Sovereignty of Shroomania, and Shroomanian corporations including MacMillan Megacorp and SchromKorp, have begun investing in Arabia after Byzantium's annexation.

- Prime Minister Shroom the 777th will be attending the World International Baerne Bioweapons Limitation Entete (WIBBLE) - whether or not it's actually being held in Baerne or Shinra. (Shinra was the first to call for the conference, but Baerne was the first to propose a location for the meet)

- Cailan has joined the OC's Continental Defense Plan.

- The Chunnel between Shroomania and Canissia has been re-opened as Martian Law is recalled.

[Beowulf]

Open communication to all leaders

The Shinra Republic calls for an international conference to discuss a treaty banning the use of biological weapons, as well as determing the best ways to send aid to all states that were affected, including the former Islamic Republic of Shepistan, now under the administrative control of the Old Dominion.

The Huang Di will of course be sending a representative.

--

Hainan Submarine Base

The SSGNs had returned. But only for a short while. They were again loaded with Tomahawks, the crew rotated, and fresh supplies put on board. Then, as quietly as they had arrived, they left again.

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Imperial Chronicles

As far as anyone was concerned, the none of the Shepistani Embassy personnel could be trusted. When the secret CSR communique arrived telling of the CSR attack, the embassy was immediately invaded and everyone taken prisoner. Computers were taken quickly before personnel could destroy them. The operation was done swiftly and efficiently. Overhead radar had revealed much of the underlying structure of the embassy, giving Byzantine Intelligence Agency personnel the full schematic of the embassy.

But of course, not everyone was rounded up. There was always the usual agents that needed to be hunted down. To that end, BIA agents were sent out, along with paramilitary elements from the Varangian Guard divisions. Of course, some of them have their own way of dealing with the enemy...

[CmdrWilkens]

Open communication to all leaders

The Shinra Republic calls for an international conference to discuss a treaty banning the use of biological weapons, as well as determing the best ways to send aid to all states that were affected, including the former Islamic Republic of Shepistan, now under the administrative control of the Old Dominion.

Wilkonia is currently preparing a delegation to attend the conference. If no locaiton is immediately available the Sovreign has arranged for the majority of Cancun to be available to the international community. We would happily welcome all to join us and hope that serenity by the seaside may help all bring peace back to our shattered world.

[Shroom Man 777]

Open communication to all leaders

The Shinra Republic calls for an international conference to discuss a treaty banning the use of biological weapons, as well as determing the best ways to send aid to all states that were affected, including the former Islamic Republic of Shepistan, now under the administrative control of the Old Dominion.

Baernish Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Public Communique
FROM: Her Excellency Countess Domizia, Minister for Foreign Affairs
TO: All Heads of State, Relevant Ministries, Departments, and Bureaus

Your Excellencies, Majesties, and Graces,

In light of the recent double genocide of Astaria and Shepistan, we propose a conference to be held in Fortress Baerne in three months time, wherein a treaty limiting the use of biological and chemical weapons will be discussed.

From the Ministry of Shroomanian Homeland Affairs in Foreign Territories (SHAFT)
To the Shinra Republic and the Sovereign Duchy of Baerne

We agree to an international conference to discuss a treaty banning or limiting the use of biological and chemical weapons and to determine how the world community can best send aid to Astaria and the continent of Shepland.

We believe it would be best that the conference be held in Fortress Baerne, and kindly ask for the conference to be called the World International Baerne Bioweapons Limitation Entete - the WIBBLE.

Sincerely,
Lord Minister Melchett McMeistervater

[PeZook]

PeZookian post-war report, Section C: Initial assessment of economic damage

Two months under martial law and cessation of all economic activity resulted in widespread disruption of the peacetime economy. While current available data is incomplete, the following losses have been estimated:

1) Lost productivity: over 150 billion Shroomanian Dollars is estimated, based on average wages and industrial output predicted for months of August and September.

2) Goods consumed: maintenance of martial law required consumption of wartime reserve stocks of food, fuel, water, medicine and other necessities. Restoring reserves to full status will require 98.4 billion Shroomanian Dollars.

3) Loss of trade: by far the biggest single economic loss. Currently estimated at 200 billion Shroomanian dollars or more.

Additional economic shockwaves will follow restoration of economic activity, as international trade remains limited, and sharply reduced consumer buying power will result in drastic drops in enterprise profits ; Bankrupcies and widescale disruption of financial markets are to be expected ; Total GDP constriction for year 2010 may reach levels as high as 15%. Immediate emergency measures aimed at stabilizing financial markets and preventing total collapse of domestic industry are needed...

[Lonestar]

Old Dominion Government Announcement
After exhaustive study, the several new restrictions, and relaxing of restrictions, apply:

(1)The ports of Morehead City, Beaufort, Bath and Wilmington are declared safe for new arrivals. For the time being, only relief ships and military vessels will be permitted to make port.

(2)The following airfields have been declared safe for CARGO Travel. Cherry Point, Raleigh-Durham, Asheville, Macon...(for full list click here)

(3)Martial Law is relaxed in the border areas of Augustine, as well as in the designated airfield/ports of entry. For a full list see here.

(4)The Old Dominion Government reiterates that the entirity of Shepistan, East Shepistan, and St. Kitterridge is under it's stewardship. Patrols are being maintained to ensure that no foreign power sets foot on the those territories. Any foreign personnel found uninvited will be deported and/or shot.

[RogueIce]

Message to all world governments, non-governmental organizations and private persons from MESS Southern Command

Effective immediately, a quarantine has been established for the following territories:

The former Islamic Republic of Shepistan
Saint Kitterridge

These measures have been taken due to the recent biological weapons attacks and the risk of spreading disease agents which may persist. No persons from any nation may enter or leave the designated quarantine zones without prior approval. Should any governments, government agencies, non-governmental organizations or private interests require access to the quarantined territories, they must contact the commander of Coalition Joint Task Force 20 (CJTF-20), which has been established to enforce the quarantine measures.

The use of deadly force has been authorized to enforce the quarantine. Repeating, the use of deadly force has been authorized to enfore the quarantine.

[Coiler]

Coilerburg News

Military training dome opens

A large, airtight dome has opened up on the grounds of the Coilerburg Military Academy. The dome is designed to give the Coilerburg army semi-realistic practice in dealing with situations that require prolonged wearing of sealed gear. In the light of the horrific Astaria/Shepistan war, President Kyles and General Argent have said that Coilerburg's military needs "all the training it can get".

Tear gas and other irritants can be pumped into the dome without harming the outside world. Inside the dome is a mockup of a small town....
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Yes, I know about the damn dome. I was the one who ordered it built", General Argent muttered to himself as he flipped to another station. "Tell me something important!"

His wife was surprised. "You're the leader of Coilerburg's military, and you have to rely on the TV news?"

"Not rely so much as get information on sources that aren't-hard. Besides, I'm off duty now."

The phone rang.

"Yes, Harry."

"Ralson wants to know if Coilerburg is willing to make a huge order of military equipment-they, like all of San Dorado, have been really hurt by this whole trade shutdown, and need something to help cushion the blow."

"Order lots of munitions for now. It never hurts to have a stockpile we can draw upon if we need to."

[Zor]

Union Press

Zoria Supports Bioweapons Ban

Atlantica Palace, Port Adria-Today, King Leighton-I has announced plans to attend the World International Baerne Bioweapons Limitation Entete. This action was supported by the Prime Minister, upholding the Biological proliferaiton act of 1983, forbidding the kingdom from ever developing a biological arsenal.

"We have seen the devistation that Biological Weaponry can inflict" The King told press today "For the future of this blue planet, we must strive to end that threat once and for all."

[CmdrWilkens]

Imperial Navy Announces Maritime Exclusion Zone

The Wilknoian Imperial Navy, as the Naval contingent of CJTF-20 has annoucned to all that a 25 mile exclusion zone and 12 mile quarantine zone has been declared on the sea and airspace around and above the former nations of shepistan and st Kitteridge. Ships and aircraft within the exclusion zone but outside the quarantine zone will b given warnings and directed to land at MESS controleld facilities. Any aircraft or ship attemtping to enter the quarantine zone without permission from either Commander CJTF-20 or The Secretary of State of the Old Dominion will receive a single warning shot before being either shot down or sunk. Naval spoksmen indicated that the quarantine zone was considered the minimum safe distance to ensure that no strains of the biological contaminants within Shepistan escape.

Already the Branch and McPhee battle group comprising Task Force 77 is on station and enforcing the zone on the northern half of the continent. Naval planners indicated that the Bareillis battle group and Task Force 54 (still short one carrier) has been moving into position ever since the outbreak of hostilities between Astaria and Shepistan and will be on staiton later today to the WEst of Shepistan. The southern side of the continent will be patrolled by elements of the Old Dominion navy and a Surface Action group headed by the Tricia Helfer.

In sperate news the Wilkonian Imperial Marine Corps today indicated that MEU 13 (SOC) will be cruisng in the vicinity to provide additional helo, SVTOL, and small amphibious support. Amphibious Squadron 2 is currently carrying the Marines with the Stacey Keibler as flagship.

[PeZook]

Emergency Economic Measures Act

Owing to massive economic disruption ; cessation of international trade ; expenditure in maintenance of internal order and complete cessation of most economic activity, His Majesty's Government has been forced to decree the following measures aimed at saving the Republic's economy:

1) Immediate reduction in defence budgets. The following programs have been cancelled completely:

• THEL procurement
  Fighter procurement
  Buzzkill and Tomahawk missile procurement
  Munitions replacement
  Future Anti-Armor System development

Procurement of Yer Mom-class submarines will be cut to two boats. Training and equipment replacement is reduced significantly. Total predicted savings are 20,927 billion Shroomanian dollars.

2) FASTA commitments and nuclear weapons procurement remain unchanged. Four of the six ordered Yer Mom class reactors will be installed in a ground-based nuclear power plant instead.

3) Border States investment is cancelled

4) Investment in the Continental Defence Plan is cancelled

5) All stock exchange trade is hereby suspended for an initial period of four months

6) All banking activity is suspended for an initial period of two months.

7) The government shall activate a program granting interest-free loans to businesses reliant on international trade for a total guaranteed sum of 50 billion dollars.

All unemployed persons will participate in public works projects organized by the government

9) Food distribution from wartime reserves will continue for four months.

Additional regulations will be implemented as necessary.

[PeZook]

FASTA bulletin

Mercury 2d delayed two months

Due to massive disruption of rocket production, all FASTA launches, including Mercury 2d, have been delayed for two months. The Jerusalem Space Center is currently off limits to all but necessary personnel. Ground crews, astronauts and administrative staff residing at JSC grounds are confined to quarters pending cessation of biological threats.

Mercury 2d Chimpanzee named Chim-Chim

Named after a character from an obscure Caravo legend, the adorable chimpanzee will be the first simian to orbit the Earth in preparation for manned Mercury flights. Chim Chim and his compatriot Ham were bought from a Shinra zoo, and currently reside in FASTA Animal Training And Conditioning facilities. They have both chosen their names out of hundreds of thousands of submissions from all over the world, by pulling them out of a large glass bowl.


Chim Chim pulls out a slip of paper with his name and is...surprised

Eagle Transporter test launch planned

FASTA administration has approached the Canissian producers of the Eagle Transporter with inquiries about a possible test launch of the versatile vehicle. Should the spacecraft prove viable, it is entirely possible a modified version could be used as a standardized lunar lander module for the Selene spacecraft, granting a new level of interoperability between MESS and FASTA space systems.

The test, should it go through, would be planned for early days of February 2011.

[Siege]

This… Is Station One, San Dorado’s News Source Surepme!

Economy Takes A Nosedive
As the world economy contracts as a result of Pathogen War quarantines, DIFEI has calculated San Dorado is likely to face a GDP-decrease of 10 percent. “It’s pretty bad”, said a spokesman for General Director Morgan. “But to put things in perspective, we didn’t end up like Shepistan and Astaria.”

Big Boom at Kalou Island



At precisely 12:15 pm yesterday the turquoise lagoon around sunny Kalou atoll turned an eerie white. The first Frequesuan nuclear initiation made the lagoon heave and froth like a whirlpool as the shock wave lashed the water, sending up white foam and mist. According to a press release by FTO Central Command the underground blast equalled less than 20,000 tons of TNT. Later tests of a new warhead, however, could be up to 150,000 tons. The FTO Nuclear Program, whose principal sponsor is Indhopal but which has seen contributions in one form or another from all member nations, is aimed at creating a ‘credible deterrent’ for the alliance as a whole.

Lucrelance II launch a moderate success
Aerospace engineers at Camp Kittyhawk rejoiced today as the Lucrelance II space booster took off from its launch pad, carrying a second ASSET and several dummy satellites. The launch went off mostly without a hitch, although some lingering booster separation difficulties prevented delivery of the dummies into their proper orbit and the ASSET landed several hundred kilometers off-course.

“No worries though”, commented optimistic chief engineer Jensen. “Previously all the new rockets we built exploded on the pad, so this is a big step forward for us. We ought to have the last issues worked out soon enough.”

Lucrelance II consists of a hypergolic liquid-fueled core and two solid rocket boosters – modified Simoleon-series rockets. With a projected LEO payload delivery capacity of 15,000 kilograms the Lucrelance II will be able to launch multiple satellites during a single mission.

[Shinn Langley Soryu]

Shepistani submarine RSS Barb
Somewhere in Langley territorial waters, east of Ashford City
22 August 2010

The Gato class submarine RSS Barb was the only submarine in a position to receive the last desperate call from the Shepistani Embassy in Ashford City; most of its kin had either surrendered or were sunk, and as far as the crew knew, they were indeed the last active Shepistani submarine in the world. It had taken part in the initial bioweapons strike on Astaria and had narrowly escaped destruction at the hands of various navies by going silent and deep, just like the Permit and the two Flashers that were still unaccounted for; despite participating in the Astaria strike, it still had enough bioweapon-laden cruise missiles to bring the Duchy of Langley to its knees should they ever be aimed and fired.

It was only a few days after the complete cessation of communications from Shepistan proper, and the crew was already starting to doubt their mission. Many of them mused about their current situation. What use was it to fight for a now-nonexistent country? What use was it to come back to and rule over a desolated, disease-ridden world of their own making? With those questions (among many others) eating away at their consciences, the majority of the crew decided that it would be better to mutiny and seek asylum in Langley rather than continue waiting underwater to unleash viral death on the rest of the world.

Needless to say, the crew of a Formidable class frigate out on patrol east of Ashford City was surprised to see the Barb surfaced and cruising with makeshift white flags flying from the periscopes. The submarine was escorted to the naval station at Ashford City without incident; the political officer and other hardline officers and crew overthrown by the mutiny were detained along with the Shepistani Embassy staff, while the mutineers themselves were treated to a closely-guarded shore leave of sorts in Langley's capital.

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Constantinople Times

Call for a meeting of Old Continent Nations to discuss measures to stimulate Regional Economy

The Byzantine Government has called for a joint meeting between all nations in the Old Continent to discuss measures to stimulate the regional economy. "Among the issues to discuss will be confidence building measures to restimulate cross border trade, such as having common customs and quarantine guidelines, and medical standards to ensure that there are clear and open guidelines on the movement of people and goods. That is the only way trade can get restarted ASAP in the aftermath of the months long quarantine. Further, we intend to recommend that countries use their reserve funds to restimulate their own respective local economies," says the Finance Minister. Byzantium is willing host the meeting in Constantinople.

Medical checkups for all

Government has decreed that all citizens must undergo a full body check up to certify that they are contagion free. Anyone who is sick will undergo a 2 week quarantine before being released to the general population. "This will ensure that everyone will be able to continue their daily lives free of worry," says the Health Minister.

Government indicates that it will cut back on 20% of military spending.

The government will slow down the funding for several military projects and shave off 20% of military spending.

Government outlines economic measures, Economy expected to contract by 10%

The Byzantine Government has issued the following economic measures as it slashes its economic growth predictions to a 10% contraction.

- All Bank accounts to be guaranteed up to 200,000 Byzantine Solidi. This is up from 100,000 Solidi.

- Government will use reserves to stimulate economy, by pressing forward with infrastructure upgrades and making available loans to companies who are on the verge of bankruptcy, in exchange for stakes in companies in question.

- Government will provide ration slips to all lower and middle class and according to family income.

- Government will provide free health care for a year.

- Corporate and Personal Income tax to be slashed by 2-5%

- VAT to be slashed by 2% for 2 years.

[PeZook]

Orena Evening News

Going live after end of quarantine!

Martial law ends

Today, martial law has been recalled throughout PeZookia. While some emergency regulations remain in force, workplaces and public administration will be opening shortly.

PeZookia to send delegation to the international bioweapon ban conference

Citing the need to control the proliferation and use of weaponized biological agents, King Paul put his wholehearted support before the proposed conference, and will attend it in person.

Delegation to participate in OC economic talks

In another development, the economic conference at Constantinopole will see a PeZookian delegation as well...

*CLICK*

=================================================================

"Hey! I was watching that!", Kasia shouted at Sebastian, who walked into the LHDs forward mess and flipped off the TV set.

"I'm sure you won't mind in a second. Quarantine is over.", the police comissar said and smiled.

"Seriously? We can finally go ashore?"

"Yeah. And let me tell you - there's a heroes welcome waiting for all of you ashore."

"For us?"

"Yep."

[Grand Moff Yenchin]

Open communication to all leaders

The Shinra Republic calls for an international conference to discuss a treaty banning the use of biological weapons, as well as determing the best ways to send aid to all states that were affected, including the former Islamic Republic of Shepistan, now under the administrative control of the Old Dominion.

The Kingdom of Serenity is willing to attend this conference.

====

Serenity Sentinel

Legislatives Pass Procurement

Despite the loss of a MESS enemy and a Pacific slave nation, the Legislatives still passed the bill on purchasing 100 ZASM-10a Daikyūs and 100 ZASM-10b Hankyūs from the United Kingdom of Zoria, citing considerations for increased post-war unrest. The Minister of Defense also mentioned that he did not intend to reduce the budget for next year, and there might be further purchases.

Assistance on Akori Republic

A medical team from the Central Disease Control has arrived at the Akori Republic to assist in quarantine.

[Siege]

Diplomatic Communique, Priority Three

TO: All nations of the Frequesuan Continent, and Tian Xia
FROM: Office of Helena Skye, General Directorate for Entertainment and Public, International and Corporate Relations
SUBJECT: FTO nuclear tests

Ladies, gentlemen,

Some of you have expressed concern over the recent nuclear test undertaken by the Frequesuan Treaty Organization, and its stated intent to arm itself with atomic weaponry. We wish to assure all of you that the nuclear arsenal of the FTO is intended exclusively as a means of defense, and even then only to be used in cases of extreme escalation of hostilities. You have our sincerest assurance that in no way or shape do we intend to hang these weapons over your heads as proverbial Swords of Damocles, and we would for the record like to state again that any Frequesuan nation is free to join the FTO of its own volition, as long as it meets the (very basic) rules of admission.

If any of you have lasting concerns on this matter, feel free to address us, and San Dorado will be most happy to act as a mediator between you and the FTO.

Was sincerely signed, on behalf of the Board of Directors,
Helena Skye, DEPICOR

[Shroom Man 777]

LIVE on ShroomStratTV
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
QUENCHING QUARANTINE

Though Shroomania has not declared Martian Law, unlike most other countries in the world, it has nonetheless enforced a quarantine - which is now being revoked.

The Sovereignty's economy has been adversely affected by the global economic crises, the quarantines and Martian Laws have caused a decrease in exports and profits, and the specter of contamination has also made Shroomanian investors hesitant to deal with overseas parties.

As such, the government has enacted several measures to help limit the damage to the economy. A decrease in the overall military budget, such as downsizing bomber and submarine procurements, as well as limiting stratellite and AEW A380 purchases.

[Shroomania will probably just get ten to twenty AEW A380s from BAM... but we reserve the right to alter our orders and buy MOAR if we wants to!]

Businesses have also begun branching out to Arabiapolis, eager to make a profit of the newly annexed Byzantine territory.

Shroomania is also following Byzantium and PeZookia in implementing other economic measures, and SHAFT Lord-Minister Melchett McMeistervater is scheduled to participate in the Regional Old Continent Economic Talks (ROCET) while the Prime Minister attends the World International Bioweapons Ban/Limitation Entete (WIBBLE).

....


*click*


Downtown Farbanti, Shroomania



The Shrooms Shroyce made its way through the traffic, easing through thanks to the motorcade, and headed for Shrooming Street. Prime Minister Shroom turned off the on-board teeny-telescreen and got himself another drink. It wasn't liquor, or anything alcoholic or Byzantine (or Crimson for that matter), but it was milk. Milk squeezed out of the breasts. Milk from the milkbags.

Of whores.

God's most beautiful creatures.

The Prime Minister savored his breastmilk, the mortal equivalent of ambrosia. It was a reminder of how, despite his collaboration with the now-insane Stanislav in unleashing the Rage Virus (amongst other things) upon Shepistan, of how fucked up the world had gotten in the past couple of months no thanks to Shep, he had actually done some good.

He had saved lives.

Before the Pathogen Wars, before the whole fuck up, when the FUN and Sirnoth and Shroomania were aiming at working together with the Astarian abolitionists and abortionists to create the FUN Freedom Fontanelle, Shroomania had sent people through unofficial channels. People who assessed things, like asses, and assholes (since the Asstarians were by and large assholes), and other stuff too. Among them were SSS men, gathering covert intelligence. There were also men from the Ministry of Morality and Mentality.

What they uncovered were most peculiar things.

Shroom had read the brief they sent, though he had skimmed through and barely read the more grotesque and despicable parts of Astarian culture. They were a depraved people, but there was hope for them...

Hope that Shroom saw when he read magazine clippings and naughty pieces of parchment regarding certain women from something called... Sweet Meadows.

During that time, Shepistan had already launched biological agents against Astaria's craps - crops - and Shroom knew it was only a matter of time. With that knowledge in hand, he also knew that he had to save them. He had to save them.

Through the FUN Freedom Fontanelle, they were liberated from their servitude in Astaria and were given a new life and a new home in Shroomania. Then... then their country was destroyed in the most painful way imaginable, and they were at a loss.

Lost and alone, they continued doing what they did back home. Knowing that if it were not for the efforts of the noble Prime Minister, then they would've gone down with their country. So, they showed their gratitude through the only way they knew how...

The Prime Minister finished his bottle of milk and discarded it, feeling a mix of pride - in saving at least a few innocent Astarians - but also a sense of shame.

He left the Shrooms Shroyce and entered his cozy little flat at 10 Shrooming Street.

"Prime Minister, Shroom," Alison greeted him cheerfully. "You'll be heading to the WIBBLE?"

"Yes... yes, I am," Shroom replied.

He couldn't look at her eyes.

[RogueIce]

Biological Weapons Ban Conference - Cancun, Wilkonia

The conference was about to start, and the delegates, some of them world leaders in person, including President Shinra himself, had been given briefing folders on the proposed Convention on the Prohibition of the Development, Production and Stockpiling of Bacteriological (Biological) Weapons and on Their Destruction prepared by the Shinra Republic State Department. There would doubtless be many a negotiation and refinement of the proposed text, but he felt it would be better to start with something. He remembered the many impasses of the original Nova Terra when they had tried to invent things from nothing, after all.

A special, handwritten note was in the Shroomanian Prime Minister's folder, however:

"Shroom: This is not the WIBBLE, and that is not what the name of the treaty will be, either. -Rufus"

President Shinra began his opening remarks:

"Fellow leaders and delegates, I welcome you to this conference to discuss a ban on the use and development of biological weapons. As we have all seen by the tragedies inflicted upon the Free Republic of Astaria and the former Islamic Republic of Shepistan, as well as the consequences to global economies as a whole, biological weapons pose a considerable threat to all persons, regardless of national origin or political outlook. It is the threat that such weapons pose, not only to those targeted but by the potential fallout of the spread of weaponized agents, which demands a firm and strong response by the international community to prevent their usage in the future. Let us all now come together that we may speak with one voice: Never Again."

*********************************

Rough Outline of the Biological Weapons Convention*:

• The development, testing, stockpiling, and/or deployment of biological weapons is prohibited by all signatories.
• Existing stockpiles of biological weapons should be destroyed in the most expeditious and safe manner possible.
• The usage of biological weapons, in any capacity, is to be considered a crime against humanity, and as such is banned by all signatories.
• The limited storage of such agents is authorized for the sole purpose of developing vaccines and medicines to defend against attack by rogue nations or entities.
• A Treaty Compliance Agency shall be established, composed of members from all signatory nations, to ensure and assist in the compliance of these standards.

*Formal name: Convention on the Prohibition of the Development, Production and Stockpiling of Bacteriological (Biological) Weapons and on Their Destruction

There is of course legalese, especially pertaining to the "limited storage for developing defenses against BW attack" portion, but I think we all know the intent behind it. And so let the conference begin!

[Siege]

Biological Weapons Ban Conference - Cancun, Wilkonia

President Sidney Hank of San Dorado had flown in the previous day, and hoped this conference wouldn't take too long - after all, there was an economy to rebuild back home. He had already half-emptied his glass, and the clear liquid in it certainly wasn't water. The President impatiently ticked his silver pen against the desk, then leaned forward and activated his microphone.

"Two things, Mr. President. First of all, I applaud the initiative for this conference, I really do, but I'm not sure we should solely concern ourselves with biological weapons when there are chemical weapons to consider as well. I'd really rather see those gone as well. Secondly - if we're going to sign this treaty, which I think is a good idea, we're going to need a way to ensure nations stick to it. How are we going to accomplish that?"

[Master_Baerne]

Biological Weapons Ban Conference - Cancun, Wilkonia

President Sidney Hank of San Dorado had flown in the previous day, and hoped this conference wouldn't take too long - after all, there was an economy to rebuild back home. He had already half-emptied his glass, and the clear liquid in it certainly wasn't water. The President impatiently ticked his silver pen against the desk, then leaned forward and activated his microphone.

"Two things, Mr. President. First of all, I applaud the initiative for this conference, I really do, but I'm not sure we should solely concern ourselves with biological weapons when there are chemical weapons to consider as well. I'd really rather see those gone as well. Secondly - if we're going to sign this treaty, which I think is a good idea, we're going to need a way to ensure nations stick to it. How are we going to accomplish that?"

Duke James smiled sardonically, and responded: "It's quite simply, Your Excellency. We simply add a line reading: Possession or use of biological, bacteriological, or chemical weapons shall be cause for national obliteration."

[PeZook]

"If I may interject", Paul activated his microphone, "PeZookia supports the treaty as-is, and joins San Dorado in suggesting that proper mechanisms for enforcing the treaty are observed. We suggest the Treaty Compliance Agency compose classified annual reports about their investigations and findings, so that signatory countries are able to exhert pressure on nations from outside the Treaty."

[Beowulf]

Biological Weapons Ban Conference - Cancun, Wilkonia

President Sidney Hank of San Dorado had flown in the previous day, and hoped this conference wouldn't take too long - after all, there was an economy to rebuild back home. He had already half-emptied his glass, and the clear liquid in it certainly wasn't water. The President impatiently ticked his silver pen against the desk, then leaned forward and activated his microphone.

"Two things, Mr. President. First of all, I applaud the initiative for this conference, I really do, but I'm not sure we should solely concern ourselves with biological weapons when there are chemical weapons to consider as well. I'd really rather see those gone as well. Secondly - if we're going to sign this treaty, which I think is a good idea, we're going to need a way to ensure nations stick to it. How are we going to accomplish that?"

Duke James smiled sardonically, and responded: "It's quite simply, Your Excellency. We simply add a line reading: Possession or use of biological, bacteriological, or chemical weapons shall be cause for national obliteration."

Crown Princess Mei-San asked: "How do you propose that national obliteration would happen, it not using at least one of the very weapons President Hank wishes to ban?"