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Shroom Man 777
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
TECHNOLOGY TODAY

Image

MacMillan Mushroom Multinational's Heavy Industries division announced that it has begun researching the feasibility of stratospheric airship technology and that the goal of this project would be to create a "stratospheric satellite".

The stratospheric satellite project is aimed at developing a cheaper alternative to satellite technology that - without need of rocket boosters - can attain high altitudes, above the jet stream and most weather, in the stratosphere approximately 13 mi (20 km) above the surface of the New Earth.

The future emissions-free, high-altitude stratospheric airship would provide a stationary communications platform for various types of wireless signals usually carried by communications towers or satellites.

A single unit could send broadband, mobile phone and digital television and radio signals to a large area.

In comparison, lag times would be reduced by a factor of nearly 2000 for geostationary satellites, and 15 for low orbiting satellites but with a smaller coverage area. When compared to terrestrial communications towers, stratospheric satellite coverage would be larger, with lag times being more a function of internal communications equipment rather than distance.

Estimated broadband coverage of 300,000 mi² (777,000 km²), roughly the size of the Lonestar Republic, is planned. Wireless signals could be transmitted to and from a 200 mi (320 km) diameter, but terrain features and man-made structures could partially or locally interfere with the signal.

The advantage of a stratospheric satellite would include maintainability, as it can land for repairs, modifications and upgrades, and its cost would be relatively affordable compared to launching a satellite into orbit.

Aside from research into stratospheric satellite technology, the MacMillan corporation is also developing the local Shroomanian airship industry - hoping to follow the lead of the Bear Republic and Canissia.

Image
MacMillan has constructed the first-ever Zeppelin-facility in Shroomania.
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
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TimothyC
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Post by TimothyC »

Lonestar wrote: Southwest Marine of the Lone Star Republic is already experienced in building Mistral-class LHDs(Which are referred to in-game as the Davey Crockett Class).
Adrian Laguna wrote:Adrianpolis offers to build a Destructor de Aviacion (Hyuga DDH) for New Patria.
Fingolfin_Noldor wrote:I adopted a French/Brit design for my aircraft carrier and long had a Mistral carrier on the cards for procurement eventually. So technically, I could offer you the French:

-LSD Foudre Class Landing Platform Docks
-Mistral class Helicopter carrier (this is a serious carrier but might be too expensive)

There's also an Endurance LST that the Republic Singapore Navy operates: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endurance_ ... _dock_ship


All 4 proposed designs have been taken under consideration, and a bidding process is expected to begin sometime latter this year
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Post by Coyote »

King Arik Coyotus-I strolled the shipyard, admiring the fine new Cruisers purchased from their MESS ally, Wilkonia. Several Naval officers, his aide-de-camp, and a pair of his Assistants were with him.

"Very good," he said, "Very good indeed. The Wilkonian training team has taught our crews everything they need to know about these magnificent beasts, and now I think we're ready to start using them."

"We're ready to deploy," one of the officers said-- one of 5 senior Captains being 'promoted' from Destroyer command to Cruiser. "JUst give us the word, Excellency." The King turned to face his men.

"Gentlemen, the word is given," he said, "I want two to head south, and join 2nd Hydrofoil in anti-piracy action. Your patrols will be given a much wider leeway, though-- I want you to also keep an eye on developments in Libertopia."

"Are we to... step in, under any certain circumstances?" one of the Captains asked.
"Unless something is in international waters, it is hands-off, unless you have to defend yourself. I want observe-and-report only. Just keep an eye on it and keep me informed of events on sea level."

"And the other cruisers, sir?" asked Colonel Rassnar.
"I want a pair to go through the Northern Straight," the King said, "Just through the middle of Canissian and Shepnukistani territory. Nothing aggressive, just be a prescence and let them know we're keeping an eye on tem. The last cruiser I want to do the same thing, but circle around and go north of Shepnukistan. Stay in international waters, avoid conflict."
"Aye, aye, Majesty," they replied.

Image


***


Later, Arik was back in the Palace, and asked Miss Samira to deliver a message to the Defense Minister.

"Don't give it to him directly," he said, "Give it to his secretary. It's in the usual plain brown inter-departmental memo envelope."
"Very well," she said with a smile. She knew what was up.

Case Joker's Wild was on the table, and it was time to deal some cards.
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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Post by Coyote »

North Shore, Tauron Province

Image

"As if things weren't bad enough," chief researcher Randy Waller said with a frown. All up and down the beach, the shore was eroding at a pace much faster than previously thought.

Waller looked at his reading, double-checking. Yep, we've lost about 11 centimeters this year, and 9.5 last year... It wasn't much, but it was growing. The first predictions had been for erosion expectations of about 6-7 centimeters, and that was bothersome enough.

"What's the plan, then?" asked one of his students, a long-haird hippie type who was, nonetheless, a brilliant researcher.
"Well, I'd advise some reef-building, maybe shoring up this are with some riprap... but before we submit a plan, I want to check the rest of the shoreline and coordinate with some of the others on down..."


Result:
Environmentalists concerned about erosion.

***

Lone Star Republic


The three new Arleigh-Burke class destroyers purchased from the Wilkonian defense forces were on a cruise to join the 2nd Hydrofoil Squadron in Gottland, and to partake of anti-pirate patrols in the Central Sea. The ships were formed into their own light Division, and made a port-of-call in the MESS-allied nation.

Image

While the sailors went on a brief liberty, though, the port-of-call was also an opportunity for some minor business between the two countries. A civilian representative of the Foreign Ministry, an assistant to Minister Ren Lars, had hitched a ride on one of the Burkes and met with the allied forces liason in the capitol city.

"Welcome, Mister Park," the LSR liason officer said, "What can I do for you today?"
"Well, we are doing some naval expansion in Canissia," Mr. Park said, "And we'd like to include some support ships. We were wondering if we could either commission the building of, or buy the plans and rights of, some tugs, replenishment and fleet oilers." He handed the liason a thickly-stuffed manila envelope full of what sort of things Canissia was looking for.

"A lot of these are based off of German Kriegsmarine replenishment ships, from around 2005 on Earth That Was," the liason officer said. There was another envelope as well, a sealed one that he looked at, surprised. He looked at Mr. Park, how noticed the envelope, smiled, and nodded. The liason officer palmed the envelope and swept it into his pocket without comment.*

"I'll bring this up with my superiors," the liason officer said. "Are you staying on here in the LSR?"
"Yes, I will be joining the embassy staff here. I'll replace Mr. Smithers, who'll be retiring."
"Excellent. I'll bring everything up with my superiors and we'll see what can be arranged."

Image
*see PM for details!
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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Beowulf
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Post by Beowulf »

14th Fighter Wing Stand Up

The 14th Fighter Wing has been created to perform air defense missions in support of the Tian Xia homeland. It will operate F-22As.

First F-35C squadron delivered to Tian Xia Air Force

The first of three F-35C squadrons has been delivered to the Air Force. It is projected to be ready for operations next year, as part of the Victoria's carrier air wing.

More rocket launches seen heading east from Grissom Space Center

The government has refused to comment on the nature of these launches, only stating that they were non-orbital.
"preemptive killing of cops might not be such a bad idea from a personal saftey[sic] standpoint..." --Keevan Colton
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Post by MKSheppard »

Shepnukistani Atomic Energy Commission Report

Recently, it has come to our attention that many people are writing that our atomic ramjet spews irradated steam all over the atmosphere. This is utterly false. There is no reaction matter used in our ramjet; it operates on the principle of superheating incoming air via passage between nuclear fuel elements and then expelling it out the back. The only danger of radioactive contamination comes from small particles of the nuclear fuel elements caking off and being carried along in the exhaust of the engine; which we are confident we can lick...mostly.

Secondly; Shepnukistan has deliberately carried out it's most recent atomic tests in the most remote parts of our world; namely the great northern ocean, out of humanitarian concerns for everyone on this planet.
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by MKSheppard »

Shepnukistani State Department Release

Our concerns have been raised with the recent declaration of jihad against the Lonestar Republic. While relations between Shepnukistan and the Lonestar Republic are at times frosty and testy, we both share a common cause in not seeing jihadis running amok.

Thusly, Shepnukistan declares:

*That the Cleric immediately withdraw his call for jihad against the Lonestar Republic in both english and arabic on all public channels available to him.

*That the Cleric immediately resign from public life

Failure to meet all of these demands will have grave results.
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by Coyote »

Activity was increasing around Port Serenity, in Gottland.

What was a small, quiet port for the 1st Hydrofoil Squadron was quickly becoming a naval base of some import. Word had come within just a few days that two Ticonderoga-class Cruisers were en route to assist with area piracy suppression, and then additional word that three Areleigh-Burke-class Destroyers were going to be added as well.

Image

"I am worried about all this naval activity," said the Gottland port authority chief to Corvette Captain Steve Anders, of the 1st Hydrofoil Squadron. "Is there something going on that could place Gottland in an uncomfortable position?"

"No, I'm told from the Defense Minister himself that this is temporary. The Cruisers will only be here for a few months, and even then most of the time they'll be out to sea, stopping by only for replenishment. The Destroyers will cut down to two instead of three at about the same time. In the long run, it'll be the 1st Hydrofoil and two Destroyers, maximum."

"Between the pirates and the tension over Libertopia..." the Gottlander harbor chief said, shaking his head, "...it's not looking pretty."

"Just a period of tension," Captain Anders said, "It'll pass. So far we've always managed to resolve differences peaceably."

"I just hope it stays that way, my friend."
"Me, too..."


***


Royal Seafront Palace, Canissia



"That was fast," Arik muttered as he took the envelope from the courier. It was a Parliament Courier, part of the RCBG special division. He tore it open and looked at the message as Miss Samira sat in her robe by the fireplace. He frowned as he glanced over the brief note.

"Something wrong?" Samira asked.
"Eh, in order to take care of that damned erosion thing up north I'm going to have to do some budget shuffling.," he said, "It's expensive, but it has to be done. Damn..." he thought for a bit. Why did this always have to come up? Goddamn fly in the ointment crap...

"Alright, I'm going to cut procurement of the Anuket-class missile corvettes from 50 to 40. That ought to free up some money to deal with the environmental stuff."

"Well, it is for a good cause," Samira said.
"Yeah, I can't deny that," Arik replied, opening the can of Hershey's chocolate syrup. "And to be honest, 50 of those boats was probably biting off more than I could chew."

Results:
Anuket-class procurement cut from 50 planned ships to 40 to pay for environmental projects.
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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PeZook
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Post by PeZook »

Canissia

The automobile moved through security checkpoints, escorted by a police motorcycle. An elegant black limousine, it was adorned with small PeZookian flags. The Ambassador was a frequent visitor to the palace, but this time no anticipatory nervousness surrounded the visit.

The ambassador got out of the car, and three of his aides followed, carrying elegant briefcases. In a couple of minutes, they were seated at the Fireplace Room, where king Arik usually took informal visits.

They exchanged a couple of polite words, talking mostly about the weather. The Ambassador inquired about the health of the King's family, and expressed his satisfaction that all was well.

"Your Royal Highness, you are probably wondering about the purpose of this visit. Let me assure you that it is entirely about courtesy."

Arik raised an eyebrow.

"His Majesty King Paul the First has asked me to personally deliver a little gift to commemorate the birth of new members of Canissia's royal family", the Ambassador motioned to his assistants. They swiftly approached, and opened their briefcases. Inside were several bronze plaques, bearing a stylized dove holding an olive branch. Under them, a sword and shield lay crossed, guarded closely by a coyote and a white eagle, "One for every royal heir. The dove represents a struggle for peace that both our nations have to bear daily. The sword and shield remind that royalty is not about being Lord and Ruler, but Defender and Protector. And, finally, the animals represent friendship between our nations: The Coyote and the Eagle, a great Kingdom and a proud Republic, standing together, guarding the principles they hold dear. Every plaque has a name of the royal heir it is intended for, and a dedication containing these words."
Image
JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
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K. A. Pital
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Post by K. A. Pital »

PRAVDA: Red Lesbianism Rising

Image

Communist Lesbian Internationale Triumvirate, or CLIT, a NGO group which is devoted to rights of lesbians and women in general, as well as overthrowing capitalism and promoting socialism, and communism, and upholding feminism and goals of gender equality and non-discrimination, is increasingly popular among the women in the Red Technocracy.

Measuring at barely 2 members 30 years ago at the founding of CLIT, today it's a thriving group with representatives in the Supreme Council, which is 40% female, and ties in the highest circles of the Red Technocratic government, as well as 200,000 members.

The CLIT spokesperson, Alisa, was kind to answer the questions our newspaper asked:

- The CLIT has evolved remarkably. From a mere interest group in a secluded city, among the Comsomol, it evolved into a serious political force. What are your goals?

- Well, first of all, the patriarchate and lack of equality between the genders have to go the way of the dinosaur. The woman is in no way inferior to a man. Witness the Air Force Marshall, who is rumored to become a Generalisse soon. She personally flew a SPIRAL space fighter and dropped a 44-ton vacuum bomb. She'll fuck over any man who dares to ...

- Okay, okay. She's the Gen Sec's wife. It is rumored she is your higher angel-keeper, so to say. Promoting and lobbying your cause. Is she bisexual?

- Can't comment on that. She's a person the CLIT holds in high regard, even if she's a hetero. She's a communist, and she is a feminist.

- So you think the overthrow of capitalism...

- Only in socialism, true gender equality is promoted. In capitalism, it takes constant effort from women to get any rights. To stop discrimination in wages, in everything.

- We heard that gay marriage legalization is in the Supreme Council meetings draft.

- Yes, many of the Worker's Delegates are members of the CLIT, devoted to our cause, and of course to communism. I'd also note many of them are openly lesbian. Our numbers have doubled since 2000.

- What about the rights of lesbians in the Red Technocracy?

- Free sexual relations are of course legal, but we are undoubtedly pushing for more. We have to legalize gay marriage, and of course not exclude our male counterparts. We must stress that feminism is a battle for female rights, not a crusade against male rights.

- Okay. One more question, Alisa - some reported CLIT sleeper cells and active recruiters in nations across the world, especially in Canissia where polygamy was recently legalized.

- Polygamy is a hard issue too. The CLIT does have allies in some nations, but it's a hard battle, often like the labour of that greek damned man... from the myths. You know, sometimes we get extremely hostile opposition. Fundamentalists in Lone Star are particulary bad, as well as Sultan Ibrahim's adherents, or allies of Saddam the Sultan. Some of them reportedly stoned lesbians in their homelands. We are not silent about that, and it's possible we will respond.

- So the CLIT has an armed wing?

- We adhere to peace, comrade.

- And what of the Orthodox Clergy at home? Their power seems to have risen since Alexashenko stepped down and our current Secretary rose up. The workers did it?

- The Orthodox Clergy are divided. Some advocate abolishing some "ancient" processes, like damning homosexuals, and most are neutral towards lesbians, far more than towards gays. It is certain that in City 101, located in...

*censored*

... the local Eparchy has taken part in several lesbian weddings.

- But you also have enemies here?

- Yes. The illegal nationalist groups, especially the Cooperative Organization of Conservative Kooks, or COCK, and Diocese International Conservative Kefaly, which is considered heretical by the UOC for promoting nationalist, capitalistic, mammonian and fascist ideas, in principle, are our adversaries. However, they gather low sympathies, especially from our majority, the scientifically atheist minded citizens.

- Thank you Alisa. We look forward to hearing more from you soon.
Lì ci sono chiese, macerie, moschee e questure, lì frontiere, prezzi inaccessibile e freddure
Lì paludi, minacce, cecchini coi fucili, documenti, file notturne e clandestini
Qui incontri, lotte, passi sincronizzati, colori, capannelli non autorizzati,
Uccelli migratori, reti, informazioni, piazze di Tutti i like pazze di passioni...

...La tranquillità è importante ma la libertà è tutto!
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Post by Coyote »

PeZook wrote:Canissia

...They exchanged a couple of polite words, talking mostly about the weather. The Ambassador inquired about the health of the King's family, and expressed his satisfaction that all was well.

"Your Royal Highness, you are probably wondering about the purpose of this visit. Let me assure you that it is entirely about courtesy."

Arik raised an eyebrow.

"His Majesty King Paul the First has asked me to personally deliver a little gift to commemorate the birth of new members of Canissia's royal family", the Ambassador motioned to his assistants. They swiftly approached, and opened their briefcases. Inside were several bronze plaques, bearing a stylized dove holding an olive branch. Under them, a sword and shield lay crossed, guarded closely by a coyote and a white eagle, "One for every royal heir. The dove represents a struggle for peace that both our nations have to bear daily. The sword and shield remind that royalty is not about being Lord and Ruler, but Defender and Protector. And, finally, the animals represent friendship between our nations: The Coyote and the Eagle, a great Kingdom and a proud Republic, standing together, guarding the principles they hold dear. Every plaque has a name of the royal heir it is intended for, and a dedication containing these words."

"That is so COOL!" Arik said, his eyes brightening with the gifts. They were amazing-- the craftsmanship was wonderful.

"How many jewelers did you keep employed with this project?" he asked, amazed. "Nevermind, rhetorical. This is awesome!" He picked up one of the statuettes and turned it over in his hands-- it had heft, certainly no mere plastic bauble.

"I mean, the Palace has had one whole wing converted..." he said, starting to ramble with excitement, "The part where Parliament used to meet... now they got their fancy two-tower thingy... so now each kid has an individual room, and an adjoining playroom... It's been hell, there was paint and plaster everywhere.... this will look so good in their rooms... uhh, wow, in the playroom or the bedroom...."

King Paul was pleased at how well the gifts had been received. Samira went to get the others and introduce the kids.

"Oh, man, where's my manners?" Arik said, "Paul, here they are--
Miss Jia with daughter Chyou; Miss Samira with daughter Nafrini; Miss Shawna with son Aitan; Miss Isabelle with son Tristan; Miss Katerin with son Anton; Miss Siobhan with daughter Cailin... oh, man, thanks..."


***


Later that evening, Arik remembered that a substantial sum would have to be set aside for university.

"I'll have to sell the Bentleys..."
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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Post by Fingolfin_Noldor »

Constantinople Times

The Byzantine Emperor extends his invitation to King Arik to visit his nation
The Emperor today extended his invitation to King Arik to visit Constantinople to discuss various matters such as Terra Libertia and some arms deals. "Bring any royal heirs along and we will give them a blessing in the Hagia Sophia." says the Emperor. He was quick to add that no baptism will be bestowed unless requested.
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Post by General Deathdealer »

Baal Daily News

Terminal High Altitude Area Defense (THAAD) Purchased

The Ministry of Defense announced today the purchase of 1 THAAD Battalion from Tian Xia. The THAAD system is designed to shoot down short- and medium-range ballistic missiles over a theater or region by ramming them with interceptor missiles. It only has a limited capability against ICBMs. The THAAD system was purchased for an undisclosed amount.

“This system will bridge the gap between our short and medium air defense systems and the Hyper-Velocity Gun that is currently under development. It will help protect the Duchy against incoming threats whatever they may be.”

Image
"Don't fuck with The Mess. Unless you've been there, done that, and have the t-shirt, shut your cakehole." - Me
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"The enemies of the Emperor fear many things. They fear discovery, defeat, despair and death. Yet there is one thing they fear above all others. They fear the wrath of the Space Marines." - Anonymous
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PeZook
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Post by PeZook »

Coyote wrote: "That is so COOL!" Arik said, his eyes brightening with the gifts. They were amazing-- the craftsmanship was wonderful.

"How many jewelers did you keep employed with this project?" he asked, amazed. "Nevermind, rhetorical. This is awesome!" He picked up one of the statuettes and turned it over in his hands-- it had heft, certainly no mere plastic bauble.
The Ambassador smiled, seeing how pleased the King was the gifts.

"They were actually designed by an art student, selected in a country-wide competition. You can see her name over here, Your Highness", he pointed to an elegant signature etched in the bottom of each statuette, "In fact, His Majesty would like to invite you,sire, and the entire Royal Family, to PeZookia. Sadly, urgent international matters precluded him from coming here in person, but should Your Highness decide to pay a courtesy visit to the II Republic, it would do much to better the relations between our two countries. And, of course, he would love to meet the entire Royal Family. We could even arrange for you to meet the author of the statuettes."
Image
JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
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Grand Moff Yenchin
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Post by Grand Moff Yenchin »

Mangka Television Evening News
Image

"This morning, about 500 Islamics, foreign and local, gathered at the OMSK Institute in Mangka to protest against the Shepnukistan Republic for the earlier release from the Shepnukistan State Department. OMSK, MESS, Shepnukistani, and Lonestar flags were burned, and there was minor struggle between the police and the protestors. Every vehicle entering or leaving the Institute had to be surrounded by a couple layers of police human walls in order to safely move.

"After a few hours the protestors then moved to the Lonestar Republic Office where the protest became more violent. More protesters joined in and Molotov cocktails were being tossed at the Office. Riot control had to be enforced. Luckily, no one was hurt seriously and there was no serious property damage. About 40~50 protestors were arrested and the police are still analyzing video records of the protest.

An anonymous protestor was interviewed by our reporters.

'What Shepnukistan and Lonestar fail to understand is, it is the Islamic World against them, not just the Sultan. As a true believer in Our Lord, he is prepared to sacrifice. Us followers are prepared to sacrifice. But our cause, our faith, our Jihad will persist. Allahu Akbar!!!!!!'"


Al Gezira News Network

Brothers Heeding the Call of Jihad

[Anonymous Location] Worldwide brothers are answering the call from His Highness the Sultan. From an anonymous overseas location, those who have heeded, are now in vigorous training, preparing to execute the recent Jihad against the Lonestar Republic.

"We will fight anywhere, anyway, for Our Lord. Allahu Akbar!!!!"

Image
Members of the Jihad group "Party of Allah" praying.


OOC: You know, if this was a Star Trek episode, the direction of Mecca would be the hint of a portal where Q pulled us in :P /OOC
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Post by RogueIce »

At about the same time as the PeZookian ambassador was visiting King Arik, President Shinra was in a meeting with his Defense Minsiter.

"Talk to Tian Xia. I want a THAAD Battalion for each ADA Regiment. See what kind of deal we can get for the purchase of 24 batteries."

"Yes, sir. Also, would you like us to continue with the plans to station a naval detachment in Adrianpolis to combat Libertopian-based pirates?"

"Yes I would. I'll put in a call to Adrian just as soon as I return from Canissia."

=======================

The Next Day

"Arik! How good to see you again, old friend! Congratulations on the new heirs! I heard about King Paul's wonderful gifts to your children. And since there was no way I could possibly match such a wonderful gift, I decided I'd give you a physical gift, and your children something more." Rufus then opened his case, and took out a small, fourteen inch tall statue:

Image

As you know, I've never really made use of the Portal back to Old Earth much. But for this occassion I though it apt, to give you a suitable gift, and to remind us all of where we came from. I bought it from the artist Barbara Nelson. I saw it and thought it only appropriate, a Coyote playing with a young child's hat. I thought it to be symbolic of you, their father 'the Coyote' and the joys you will soon get to experience.

" My second gift is for your children. By executive order, I will offer them a full scholarship, tuition, board, and a stipend, should they choose to attend any public or private university in the Shinra Republic. If they want to go anywhere else, and that is of course a matter for your family to decide, I will still offer to pay fifty percent of their tuition. I believe the gift of learning is the greatest any person can give to a child, and I wish to give that gift to yours."
Last edited by RogueIce on 2008-05-08 04:37pm, edited 1 time in total.
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"How can I wait unknowing?
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)

"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
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Post by Grand Moff Yenchin »

Banana Inquirer-Your Weekly Scoop


Lipstick Lezzies are Really Lipstick Lezzies (We told ya!)
Image

The No. 1 hit girlband "Lipstick Lezzies" have finally come out of the closet. Dear readers, are you suprised?

Ever since they made their debut in their hit album "Oh~Yes!" the media has been speculating the relationship between Riko and Noa. Some critics alleged that the whole "Lipstick Lezzie" title was just a publicity stunt. It was not until our report in Issue 31 where we acquired photos of them entering a hotel hand in hand that things began really hot! They still refused to answer anything.

Last week at the 3rd Mangka CLIT rally, they showed up, and revealed that they were long-time members, though they mentioned that they had separate partners, contrary to the belief that they were a pair.

"Yes, I have a sla...partner, she's not in the show-biz, we've been having a stable relationship." Says Riko.

"Yes, I have some...a..partner, she's not in the show-biz, we've been enjoying our stable relationship." Says Noa.

Publicity stunt? The fans don't care.

Fangirl: "Oooooh! Ahhh!!!! My fantasies are real~~~!"
Fanboy:"My fantasies are real~~~! Oooooh! Ahhh!!!!"
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Post by MKSheppard »

[retconned away] - blah we'll think of something later
Last edited by MKSheppard on 2008-05-08 05:26pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Mr Bean »

BBC Reports

"In Defense news the ABM missiles defense test have been conducted, over-all the Navy claims to have a 29% success rate with 24 missiles fired at 8 targets. The best test of the lot was the Decoy test when the tracking team identified the warhead within three seconds and killed it with their first launch. During Entry the designed decoys proved almost useless, serving only to add clutter to the radar imaging but the real warhead due to it's temperature and angle proved to be easy to pick out. Only one mock war-head hit the water and it was during the five war-head test, the first four warheads were taken out but the speed and misses resulted in the ships being unable to engage the 5 warhead until after taking out the other four, by then it was to late and the warhead hit water.

Defense experts say that while decoys would be useful in the mid-stages of an ICBM's flight, the final stage building realistic decoys capable of traveling at the same speed and same tolerance and radar profile is next to impossible against a sufficently powerful radar such as those aboard the Destroyers. Said one quote "You might as well load the missile with more warheads considering how poor the decoy's did, the material and the speed a decoy would need to withstand means that it's almost as expensive to build a decoy as a war-head. "


------------------------
"Good test gentlemen, needless to say the Block-2 is going to be insufficient in our needs. Push ahead with the S-400 building, we need something better for ABM defense if Tian Xian keeps pulling this. "

General? One last thing, here are the results of the secondary tests

"Lets me see.... hmmm interesting, four meters? Impressive, lets see if we can cut that in half when we do a repeat of this VS the improvements to the S2 and with the 400 in the mix of the next test.

How soon?

"End of the year soonest, middle of next year latest I think"

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Post by MKSheppard »

Shepnukistani State Department Release

We once again emphasize our demands that the Sultan withdraw his call for jihad against the Lonestar Republic in both english and arabic on all public channels available to him, and that the Cleric immediately resign from public life.

Furthermore; we emphazise that failure to meet all of these demands will have grave and severe results.
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

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Post by Lonestar »

Presidential Palace, Austin

The folder landed with a *thump* on Lonestar's desk. Lonestar look up at SECSTATE Mironov.

"What?"

"This came from Roger Williams, he's a retired LSRN Commander in the State Department foreign military liason division."

"So?"

"So, one of the new Defense attaches handed this to him. He thought he should pass this up the chain of command."

Lonestar looked down. "It's a bunch of Kraut ships! Isn't Southwest Marine a bit busy with the LHD-4 design? I'm sorry, but we have a finite amount of maritime engineers, and LSRN requirements get first call. Tell him I vetoed everything but the tug."

"Uh, look at the envelope."

"It' appears to be 'manila' colored."

"Smartass. Matt, look in the envelope."

Lonestar opened it and took out the piece of paper inside. He read the contents, and raised an eyebrow.

Lonestar put the paper down, and and made a few phone calls. He then turned back to Mironov.

"You know you smell?"

"I can't get this damn incense out of my clothes. I don't think the Red Patriarch was happy when he found out that the Orthodox Churches here are under a umbrella organization without a spiritual head. If I were suspicious, I'd say he spilled that stuff on me on purpose."

"Hmm...this stuff about Libertopia?"

"I say fuck it. Have DPS step up survelliance here, and, oh yeah, I ran into Jerry. He's going to ask for DPS to buy 5 OPVs for revenue cutter/customs/coast guard duty."

"Fine."
"The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles."
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Post by Grand Moff Yenchin »

Al Gezira News Network

His Highness: Libertopian Nation Resists All Threats, Condemns Nuclear Weapons
[img=right]http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/5797 ... hangq8.jpg[/img]
His Highness Sultan Ibrahim said on yesterday that Terra Libertia is determined to resist any threats. Especially from the heretic North-Eastern World.

Sultan Ibrahim made the remark in an address to thousands of enthusiastic people in Freedom City who had gathered to welcome their paramount Leader yesterday.

The Libertopian nation will turn all threats imposed by the enemies to opportunities and bring development and pride for the country, said His Highness.

His Highness said that thanks to Our Lord and the fellow Brothers, the Islamic Revolution has been victorious in Northern Terra Libertia and attained their independence, national dignity, welfare and prosperity.

Any nation should tolerate difficulties to attain its prime goals, and aspirations, underlined the Supreme Leader, citing years of sacred defence, fight against terrorism, resistance against threats as parts of hardships tolerated by the Northern Terra Libertopian nation on their right path.

Foreign media try to take advantage of all factors such as WMDs, human rights, threat of war, which are rampant throughout the world in order to put more pressure on the Libertopian nation and officials and therefore it is necessary that people exercise more vigilance, said His Highness.

Thanks to Almighty God, existing problems in Northern Terra Libertia are much less than those in other countries, underlined Sultan Ibrahim.

"Enemies try to magnify our problems and this will be resolved through a timely and precise economic plan," said His Highness.

His Highness also issued a Fatwa stating that the production, stockpiling and use of nuclear weapons are forbidden under Islam and that the Islamic Northern Terra Libertia shall never acquire these weapons. Unlike heretic nations such as, His Highness emphasized, Shepnukistan and the Lonestar Republic.
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Fortuna-class Frigates Enter Production

The Navy announced today that the Fortuna-class frigates had begun production, the end result of the long ago announced FFX Project.

"We had considered initially a new design of frigates, but looking at how well this type has served the Tian Xia Navy, we decided to go with it instead of incurring the costs and time of developing and prototyping a whole new ship," said a Navy spokesman.

The frigates, with an estimated cost of USD$650 million, were expected to take about six months to complete. The Navy also announced they'd be accepting foreign orders for the vessels.
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"How can I wait unknowing?
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)

"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
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Post by Raj Ahten »

ProTec held a press conference in which they outlined the goals of their mission with the Iron General. Their contract was to support and train the Iron General's troops with the goal of bringing greater stability to the territory under Alexander's control. It was also announced that the investigation into the bombings of ProTec planes continued, and that the perpetrators would be braught to justice.

Meanwhile:
ProTec's advisers efforts were now bearing real fruit. Alexander's most elite troops, the Iron Guard, were showing themselves to be very effective. Alexander now felt the need to test his trops and solve a pressing problem at the same time. A warlord "Colonel" Novik, who was once an ally of Alexander had been caught supporting bandits and raiding mines. He had retreated into his mountain stronghold and little had happened besides small raids by either side.

The Iron Guard and its ProTec trainers had meticulously planned a raid of Novik's bastion in the central mountains of Alexander's territory. If any progress was to be made, the warlordism of Novik had to be curbed. In a pre dawn assault the Iron Guard hit Novik's fotress from the air and the ground, using the mobilty ProTec's helicopters provided to great effect. They completely bypassing most of Novk's forces, and in an hour long gunfight killed Novik and burned his fotress to the ground. The bulk of Novik's forces were trapped between the air mobile forces and a ground assualt on their positions in the passes leading into Novik's now burning stronghold. After 48 hours of shelling and helicopter gunship attacks, all but a few die hards had given up. The message was clear. Alexander would be the sole ruler of his domain.

Overall the Iron Guard performed up to their reputation, with the ProTec advisers doing little themselves (though rumours circulated that a ProTec Commando team spearheaded the assault on Novik's citadel.) There was no question that the whole operation as undertaken would have been impossible with out ProTec's transport and attack helicopters.
Last edited by Raj Ahten on 2008-05-08 10:25pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Fingolfin_Noldor »

Constantinople Times

Review of Imperial Military
The Defence Ministry today produced a report outlining the goals for the Imperial Byzantine Navy for next five years.

The Imperial Byzantine Navy outlined the following goals:

1. The design of an improved destroyer, but vastly expanded in capabilities, will be modeled upon the new Korean King Sejong the Great class destroyers which are essentially expanded Arleigh Burke destroyers.

2. The design of a new frigate, with two design types to be considered: The Horizon Class frigates, and the Spanish F-100. Since Shinra now has the latter, perhaps the F-100 might be the preferred choice, but ultimately, any design must be produced at our own dry docks.

3. The preliminary design study of a new carrier will be commissioned. We expect one to be operational in 6-10 years pending approval by Parliament and the Emperor.

4. FY 2011, we will commence construction of a new Mistral type LHD to be known as the Andrea Doria class. This is a significant step in the IBN's attempt to support army beach landings.

5. New carrier aircraft acquisition. The Defence Ministry is currently talking to Shroomia about the possibility of collaborating and designing a new fighter line. If talks fail, would design it within Byzantium or buy it off the shelf.
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