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PeZook
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Post by PeZook »

Shroom Man 777 wrote: [I'm the one delivering them? :?:]
[OOC:Yeah, you agreed to invest in my shipyards, building two more construction slipways and delivering one floating drydock]
Image
JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

[In that case... Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground. ]



The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
SHROOMANIA'S SHIPYARD SEA MEN

Image
A ripped Shroomanian worker does contract work in the Republic, for outrageous fees.

Despite the troubles in New Gottland, the end of the costly peacekeeping operations in Syndromia has quickly revitalized the Shroomanian economy. The industrial sector is bustling as Shroomanian engineers get busy in local shipyards, or are shipped overseas for contract work. This success is also shared by other FUNGAL AXIS nations, as Baerneans continue work on their automated commerce vessels and sealabs, and as heavy resource excavation projects begin in the wastelands of Blastification.

However, the limelight is on the Republican's Fast Commerce Ships and the investments made by Shroomania and the Red Technocracy. The II Republic of PeZookia has courted foreign companies in its eager bid to expand its industrial infrastructure with the construction of a floating drydock, which is currently under construction in Shroomanian shipyards. Workers from Shroomania, the Republic, and the Technocracy are working quick to ensure the speedy recovery of their nations' economies, doing their patriotic duty - so to speak - after the escapades in Syndromia and New Gottland.


[Um. You make up a timeframe for the drydock. I am TERRIBEL with numbers and estimations. I'm a student nurse, not an economist :P]
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shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
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Post by Coyote »

Royal Canissian Parliament

By a vote of 37-14, it was determined that the Royal Navy's ambitious plans for expansion are beyond the People's budget. While numerous Ministers agree that the Navy is in need for expansion, and do not trouble most of the requested allotments for smaller craft, they have raised concern over the cost of numerous cruiser and 'cruiser-carrier' vessels planned by His Exalted Majesty, King Arik Coyotus-I.

"These programs are necessary, there is no doubt of that," said Defense Minsiter Ral Tenn, "However, they are beyond the reach of the budget, even at the best of times. We'd have to either cut corners on the vessels, and end up with ships of dubious quality, or we;ll have to cut back on the number of vessels. But something must be trimmed."

When asked about the possibility of cutting back the number of smaller warships, Minister Tenn responded that "one big ship can be in one place during a crisis. Several small ships can be in several places during numerous crises; they can be brought together in case of a big crisis... and the loss of one, while tragic, will not represent the loss of everything."

It was therefore recommended-- to Minister Tenn's reluctance-- that the number of big ships be cut down to a more "reasonable" number.

Current wisdom favors the adoption of Amphibious Assault Carriers, which have more multi-role capability than standard carriers or cruisers. Amphibious Assault ships carry not only a small number of fighters, but also helicopters and hovercraft for beach landings.

King Coyotus-I will most likely approve the modification to the spending bill, although he was a big supporter of an expanded Navy. King Coyotus-I had hoped that by not expanding the Air Force or Army, and by forgoing a Canissian space program in favor of a joint program shared among the MESS, that sufficient funds could be saved for extreme Naval expansion. However, equally ambitious energy-production products --including controversial "wave & tidal-motion sources"-- and reasearch into air combat drones are demanding higher portions of the budget.

The revised bill will go on His Majesty's desk for review. The King is currently out on a brief weekend vacation, Marlin fishing, and will return with a couple days.
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

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Post by MKSheppard »

++++++Defense Department of Shepnukistan++++++++++++

Following up on the last round of budget cuts and reorganization within the RoS Navy, which eliminated much of the SSN fleet; further reorganization is in the wings for the RoS MIlitary, with the following ships being decommissioned:

5 x CGN-42s
11 x CG-47s
30 x DDG-51s

The Army is also suffering from budget cuts; with the planned conversion of 3,500 M1A1D Abrams tanks to M1A2 standard being terminated; along with the conversion of M2A2 Bradleys to M2A3 standards; with both the M1A1D and M2A2s being retired from the force.

Shortfalls in force numbers will be made from increased production of the next generation of tanks and IFVs by Shepnukistan.

The Army's Air Defense Artillery battalions will increase in number now that the MIM-173C production ASAT missiles are reaching the force; with improved MIM-173Ds expected by next year.

The Air Force is the big winner in this budget, with projected increases of:

ADC:
2 x Fighter Wings
1 x Heavy Air Refuelling Squadron

SAC:
1 x Bomb Wing
1 x Strategic Reconnaisance Wing
2 x Heavy Air Refuelling Squadrons

Total Force Increase: 35 Bombers, 35 Strategic Reconnaisance, 57 Tankers, 140 Fighters; most of which are still expected to be forming and receiving equipment by next year.

This follows into next year's budget which has:

Projected Naval Force Levels Next Year

3 x Ford CVNs
15 x CGN-42s
8 x Virginia SSNs

Allowing one deployable all-nuclear CVBG at any time consisting of:

1 x CVN
5 x CGN-42
2 x SSNs

Projected Army Force Levels Next Year
4,500 M1A2s
1,340 M5 Grierson MBTs
4,102 M2A3 Bradleys
1,300 M6 Meade IFVs

10 x Mechanized Divisions (National Guard; 290 MBTs; 275 IFVs each) - 2,900 MBTs, 2,750 IFVs
4 x Armored Divisions (equipped with M1A2 and M2) (Active Force; 348 MBTs, 222 IFVs each); 1392 MBTs, 888 IFVs
3 x Armored Divisions (equipped with M5/M6 force) (Active Force; 348 MBTs, 222 IFVs each); 1,044 MBTs, 666 IFVs

Miscellaneous small battalions, etc taking up remainder of force level.

Projected Air Force Levels Next Year

Air Defense Command
3 x Fighter Wings (70 x F-22As Each)
(FORMING) 2 x Fighter Intercept Wings
6 x Heavy Air Refuelling Squadrons (19 x KC-10s Each)
(FORMING) 1 x Heavy Air Refuelling Squadron

Strategic Air Command
5 x Bomb Wings (35 x B-1Cs Each; Re-engined B-1Bs with high altitude performance)
(FORMING) 1 x Bomb Wing
2 x Strategic Reconnaisance Wings (35 x RB-1Ds Each; Modified B-1Cs)
(FORMING) 1 x Strategic Reconnaisance Wing
2 x Strategic Fighter Wings (70 x F-22As)
10 x Heavy Air Refuelling Squadrons (19 x KC-10s Each)
(FORMING) 2 x Heavy Air Refuelling Squadrons
1 x Strategic Command Squadron (6 x E-4B)

Research and Development

The UV-24 VTOL Program: It continues as usual, with IOC not expected for about 2 years. This year's budget for the UV-24 is approximately twice that which was projected for this phase of development, due to unforeseen technical problems (Namely the scientists and engineers screwed up and forgot to carry a one).

The F-24A Interceptor Program: New development started. Will be based on @ FB-22 proposal, but with the expensive RAM coating and low probability of intercept radar being deleted in favor of more robust and non stealthy coatings and a development of the F-22s APG-77 LPI radar into a much more robust and powerful radar suited for an interceptor, having the conceptual designation of ASG-35. Development will take between 1.5 and 2 years; depending on how many fuckups the engineers commit.

Arms Sales

Now available for sale:

11 x CG-47s
30 x DDG-51s
3,500 x M1A1D Abrams
3,000 x M2A2 Bradleys

Contact Shepnukeistan for great package deals! Build up your military NOW for 1/4th the price it would cost to do it yourself!
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by MKSheppard »

A look inside the Shepnukistan Armor Complex:

Image

TOP: M5 Grierson MBT. 55 ton MBT built on common Chassis; 120/140mm main gun (barrel swappable)

MIDDLE: M6 Meade IFV. 55 Ton IFV Built on common chassis; 35/50mm Autocannon (barrel swappable)

BOTTOM: AFAS-X; 55 ton SPH built on common chassis; 155mm liquid propellant gun.

Image

Image of the proposed M1A3 Abrams upgrade which was being considered for the RoS' M1A2 fleet. New turret houses an autoloading 140mm gun which is the same as the M5's gun; Production for RoS forces cancelled; however, export prospects are bright for those countries wishing to upgrade their Abrams. Contact us for great deals!
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by MKSheppard »

++++Gift made to Shroomania+++++

The Republic of Shepnukistan in an unpreceedented gift of goodwill and international brotherhood, in a ceremony at the Shroomanian ambassador's residence, turned over the keys to one complete MIM-173C ASAT firing complex, consisting of several dozen launcher vehicles and 50 missiles.

When questioned by the international press about this, President Shep said:

"Why gosh, the fact that the Sovereignity of Shroomania is located between us and the Shinra Republic had nothing to do with this decision, I assure you."

Prime Minister Shroom the 7777777th could not be reached for any comment, since he was in a hot tub with booze and hookers; but he reportedly said

"Cool."
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

[Can I get an articul detailing the ASAT system's capabilities?]



The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
SHEPNUKISTAN anti SATELLITE SYSTEM

The Mushroom Military has gracefully accepted the Shepnukistan ASAT systems, genuinely surprised at the magnanimity of its O.M.S.K. Pact ally. However, the Shroomanian military has opted not to deploy any of the launch vehicles or missiles.

"We cannot risk a further destabilization of geopolitical conditions," Minister of Information Toadstool Todd stated. "Especially with the recent rhetoric expressed by many nations regarding the interdiction of space-based assets. But due to the realities of the situation, Shroomania would like to reserve this Shep-given ASAT system as an option for any unforeseen future circumstances."

While none of the Shepnukistan MIM-173C ASAT systems have been deployed, Shroomanian military scientists have expressed interest in "finding out how it ticks".
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Post by MKSheppard »

Shep Defense International Weekly
Do not distribute, this costs $100 on SDIW's website to read

The MIM-173 is a two stage solid fuelled missile, with a third post-boost stage powered by a hypergolic engine for orbital manouvering, and the third stage contains a minature homing vehicle to destroy suspected threats. All up missile weight is 12,765 pounds; and they are deployed in mobile launch complexes.

Image
Test firing of a XMIM-73A Prototype.

The MIM-173 has a maximum altitude of 1,000 miles (1,610 km) ensuing it can destroy all low flying spy platforms which threaten the host nation.

A typical MIM-173 Air Defense Battalion is commanded by a Lt Colonel and consists of 600~ troops and 16 launchers.

Typical missile loadout for a battalion is:

16 x MIM-173s Ready to Fire in Hardened Mobile Launchers (HMLs)
16 x MIM-173s Ready to Load in Hardened Mobile Reloaders (HMRs)
16 x MIM-173s Packed for Storage on trucks.

Total Missiles assigned: 48

Organization is as follows:
1 x HQ Company
---4 x Batteries (Each Battery commanded by a Captain, and contains 70-90 troops)
------1 x Fire Control/HQ Platoon
------1 x Launcher Platoon (4 x HMLs)
------1 x Reloading Platoon (4 x RMLs)
------1 x Maintenance Platoon

A single Battery can emplace in less than an hour.

Image
Photograph of one of the Hardened Mobile Launchers

The HML can travel up to 55 MPH on highways, with off-road capability; with a total vehicle weight of 239,000 lbs and is powered by a 1,200 hp diesel engine driving all 8 wheels via a diesel-electric transmission.

EDIT: There is also some consideration of a MGM-174/175 program for a mobile land based ballistic missile based off the MIM-173 airframe in process; but is not likely to happen until significant stretches of this planet are mapped to a high precision of accuracy for navigational reasons.

EDIT II: Corrected altitude; did some more calculations and found that you only needed a delta-V of around 6.9~ km/sec to reach an apogee of 1,000 miles; and this missile has a delta v of around 10 km/sec
Last edited by MKSheppard on 2008-04-09 09:47pm, edited 3 times in total.
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by Master_Baerne »

Baernish News Service
File BNS-15

Nukisani Sub Deal Completed!

FORTRESS BAERNE- Negotiations with the Shepnukistani ambassador over the possible acquisition of six decommissioned submarines were concluded today, according to a Ministry of War press release. The subs, which were obtained in exchange for an unspecified amount of uranium from the new vein discovered of Baerne Island, are en route to Forgeville for repainting and inspection.

The subs are of the Virginia class, and are to be named

HGSS Silence
HGSS Inconspicuous
HGSS Big Stick
HGSS Appropriate Caution
HGSS Necessary Measures
HGSS Dorsal Fin

Crews are to come from Baernish fisherpersons freed for service by the advent of the Automated Commerce Vessel (Fishing).
Conversion Table:

2000 Mockingbirds = 2 Kilomockingbirds
Basic Unit of Laryngitis = 1 Hoarsepower
453.6 Graham Crackers = 1 Pound Cake
1 Kilogram of Falling Figs - 1 Fig Newton
Time Between Slipping on a Banana Peel and Smacking the Pavement = 1 Bananosecond
Half of a Large Intestine = 1 Semicolon
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Post by K. A. Pital »

J.S.E.Z. : WE FLY UNDAUNTED!
Image

PRAVDA on JSEZ
Today was a truly glorious day for international relations, as behind closed doors on Neutrality Point naval platform, a great joint plan for airspace opening was born!

The JSEZ has been the brainchild of top government officials of the O.M.S.K. and the People's Republic of Canissia. It resolves the spaceflight issue for those nations with an instantaneous and benefitial solution: the Joint Space Exploration Zone.

Image

JSEZ is a common agreement on spacelaunch through airspace restrictions being loosened for nations of the JSEZ; and the establishment of common aerospatial border line.

JSEZ rules a 1000 mile space border, and any foreign military craft violating the JSEZ will be shot down by the air defense of JSEZ countries; inside the JSEZ, space launchers are free to fly and spacecraft is free to land, with the obligation for members to provide emergency landing relief should such a grave event occur.

This great agreement comes amidst a hail of conflicts on the airspace borders of sovereign nations.

JSEZ rules:
- Spatial border - space upwards of 1000 miles.
- Common spatial launcher traffic.
- Defense of the common airspace zone.
- Landing assistance.

JSEZ Council
Is a multinational body where each JSEZ nation has a 1-vote representative. Serves to work on JSEZ rules and administer nations who would possibly want to join in the future.

The JSEZ will mutually benefit the great powers, and the peaceful people of the People's Republic of Canissia who are willing to seriously invest in spaceflight and space exploration.

------------------------------------
PRAVDA: II Republic of Pezookia - arms deal secured
The Republic of Pezookia is buying 2 C&C complexes for it's missile shield systems - one operational and one ALMAZ ALTEK-300 computer trainer complex, which, according to some rumors, went underpriced for reasons currently undisclosed.

------------------------------------
PRAVDA: Keep an eye on Wilkonia: FOR A GREATER PEACE AND SECURITY!
It has recently passed to the attention of the Supreme Council that the Republic of Wilkonia is extensively militarizing; it spends 10% of it's GDP on military expenses and maintains a maximal size Navy - with 75 billion military spending, no less! According to some analysts, it even procured somewhere 2 excess Destroyers.
Image
It's military complex is apparently well in excess in size than France - at least the spending is well on par - however, France has a many times greater GDP.

It is the most militarized of currently existing nations; and it seems as if it were running in a cold war with some other power.

Considering there are no other powers but OMSK in vinicity, this is rather alarming.

Especially as some lead powers of the OMSK SC scrap entire SSN fleets, this militarized behemoth and it's Navy rise a potent threat in the North-East.
Last edited by K. A. Pital on 2008-04-09 01:42pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Shroom Man 777
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

[Is that JSEZ a giant no-fly zone for us other guys?]



The Mushroom Military Messenger
SHROOMANIA’S SILENT SUBMARINES

Image
Foreign Language Edition For Our Allies in the Red Technocracy!

Yer Mom
The ‘mothership-submarine’ Yer Mom was developed in utmost secrecy and haste during the early days of Prime Minister Shroom’s administration. In fact, the preliminary designs of the vessel existed during the previous administration, and work was just beginning when Prime Minister Shroom took office.

The initial objective of the Yer Mom project was to create a stealthy strategic undersea vessel that would give the whole of the Mushroom Military a decisive military advantage. However, in reality, the project progressed in a way much different than its designers envisioned. It would not become the ‘decisive military advantage’ it was meant to be.

The construction of the full-scale prototype Yer Mom saw the implementation of many ‘over the counter’ technologies to help cut costs, and the only truly unique design present in the Yer Mom was its nuclear reactor and its double-layer hull.

When the Zorian-Syndromia War began, the vessel – not even officially commissioned yet – was deployed for the ultimate field test that also served as its trial by fire. Though it launched a salvo of cruise missile strikes at the Syndromian enemy during the opening stages of the Zorian counter-offensive, in the ensuing parts of the war, it maintained a more passive role – relegated to surveillance missions and UCAV-deployment operations.

This was due, in no small part, to many design flaws and errors that arose during the Yer Mom’s highly unusual first tour of duty. While no crewmember in the vessel was seriously injured, the flawed design of the Yer Mom greatly alarmed its designers who were already working on the second vessel and the last of the line – the Yer Face.

As the Yer Mom was tested, the designers sought to correct their mistakes in the second vessel while the list of errors and flaws and bugs grew longer. Nonetheless, despite everything its imperfect design could throw at it, the Yer Mom remained serviceable in Syndromian waters and continued its low-key operations. The Mushroom Military, initially boastful of their ‘mothership-submarine’, grew strangely silent on the operations of their ‘decisive military advantage’.

The Yer Face was eventually deployed – again without commission – but this time, its test run would be nowhere near as dangerous as its sister-vessel. The Yer Face silently patrolled Shroomanian waters, and its designers were greatly relieved when the vessel’s crew reported that the errors encountered in the Yer Mom were seemingly resolved.

While the Yer Mom and Yer Face, two-of-a-kind ships, were designs fraught with hastiness, malfunction, and compromise, they were nonetheless thought of as successful by their designers. The perilous voyage of the Yer Mom was greatly at risk of disaster, but the vessel now returns to Shroomanian waters with an intact crew – ready to be dry-docked for further modification and re-design, a process that would take roughly a year. The Yer Face, once its test-patrol of Shroomanian waters is completed, is scheduled to join its sister-ship. When they will be re-deployed, they will also be commissioned with full military honor - including smashing champagne bottles.

Image
The Yer Mom and Yer Face are very large vessels that serve as cruise missile submarines. Though originally designed to carry nuclear weapons, it was chosen that both ships would not carry any weapons of mass destruction. Instead, they carry long-ranged missiles, advanced UCAV aircraft that can be deployed from underwater, naval special forces in mini-subs, and advanced surveillance equipment, along with the means to defend themselves from conventional threats.


[I hope this will resolve any issues anyone has with my fictional submarines. They're gonna be good submarines, but they won't be impossible.]
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
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Post by K. A. Pital »

Shroom Man 777 wrote:[Is that JSEZ a giant no-fly zone for us other guys?]
Considering the current airspace legal situation, yes. [EDIT: Meaning a military nofly zone of course. Explanation - civilian airtraffic identification systems in place for all XX century nations, so no need to worry about JSEZ infinging on civilian airflight]

And it's only our airspaces combined for space launches - military aircraft of one JSEZ nation would be shot the hell down by another should it fly over. I mean, you can't really tell from a plane if it's civ or military. Space posed unique challenges but the rest didn't: thus the Zone is so far relating to space only and constituent have agreed on that.

But the JSEZ is extendable, probably (it's a huge joint venture , so again it can't be just extended by one nations' fiat). I just don't know who has a space programme of his own in the Central Sea? Do you? Perhaps you could put a request for JSEZ joining; but it will take time for us all to get through it and agree on conditions and such.
Last edited by K. A. Pital on 2008-04-09 01:35pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Coyote »

"3...2...1--" The phone rang.

"Yo," Arik said.
"What thehell?" Wilkins asked. Arik shrugged.
"Look where I'm at," Arik replied, "I'm smack in the middle of Omskland. Any limitations on satellites limits me, too, and I can't even threaten with ASAT weaponry, 'cause I got none."
"The MESS could supply you with all the ASAT weaponry you could have asked for."

"And be the next Cuba," Arik stated flatly. Of course, Cuba has hawtsome babes, so maybe that's not so bad. "No, look, I don't want to be the focal point in a new arms race. I don't even know why we need an arms race here."
"Dude, Shep is a ruthless genocidal warmonger."

"That's a title he earned on the board Back In The Day," Arik countered, "Look, I have no interest in joining the OMSK Pact, I just need the freedom to maneuver for myself. I got neighbors, and it is easier for me if I play well with them. We don't need to import Earth politics here."
"Dude, Shep is a ruthless genocidal warmonger," Wilkens said, again.

"Like I said, that's why I'm not joining the Pact," Arik explained, "I trust Bean, I trust Stas... and while I generally think that Shep is okay, there may be one day when he wakes up on th ewrong side and decides to go off, and the OMSK Pact will be obliged to follow. Or, God forbid, some microstate like Vulpesia decides to get something brewed up, thinking they have the cover of the Pact. I don't want to get dragged into something... what if Einy decides to assume command of his nation? I'm digging bunkers at the thought of those two with nukes."

"This is very disappointing," Wilkens said.
"It's realpolitik, and I'm in a spot here," Arik said, "Look, all my research is done in warehouses, factories, bunkers... they can launch satellites all the want and they won't see anything here. All the big, out-in-the-open stuff is done with the rest of the MESS. I don't have a space program. Besides, if one of us establishes good repoire with the Pact now, all this spying and weapon stuff may well be moot anyway. I dunno about you, but I'm really more interested in the whole 'living in a Palace' thing. Do you realize how many hot tubs this place has?"

The line was quiet for a moment.
"I just think it would have been better if you'd coordinated with us first."
"Yes, you're right, I should have said something," Arik said, "But it was sort of last-minutes, spur-of-the-moment stuff. I wasn't really sure if it would go anywhere. And let's face it, if I don't make nice with the Pact, they can close off all my waterways but the thin strip leading to the Bear Republic. I gotta make nice."

"You have a point, but still..."
"I know," Arik said, "Look, I'm sorry, like I said, I should have said something first. But the whole satellite thing is a moot point now, tension diffused, and it's not like people weren't going to get their satellites up anyway, right? I mean, it's not like people never heard of Sealaunch systems, eh? Rockets launching in the middle of the empty ocean, with no idea what's going on? This way is better, especially since I don't have anything they can spot."

Silence.
"We need to talk."
"OKay," Arik said, "We need a MESS summit. Just us. I'll meet you at the port city of your choice."
"Port city?"
"Trust me, the Marlin here is excellent. Lemon and a dash of mezcal, with a touch of chili pepper."
"Mezcal?"
"Agave grows here, can you believe it? Sugar cane, too, God I love tropical islands. Let me know when & where and we'll get it all on the table."
"Yeah, hey..... uhhh... about that mezcal..."
"I'll bring a crate. Two."
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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Master_Baerne
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Post by Master_Baerne »

Baernish News Service
File BNS-16

Nukistani Military Advisors Expected

FORTRESS BAERNE- In light of the Sovereign Duchy of Baerne's sad lack of experienced submariners, Shepnukistan has graciusly agreed to provide skilled crewmembers to serve as cadre for our newly minted Silent Service. They will arrive on board the new submarines, having served as caretaker crews for the voyage over.
Conversion Table:

2000 Mockingbirds = 2 Kilomockingbirds
Basic Unit of Laryngitis = 1 Hoarsepower
453.6 Graham Crackers = 1 Pound Cake
1 Kilogram of Falling Figs - 1 Fig Newton
Time Between Slipping on a Banana Peel and Smacking the Pavement = 1 Bananosecond
Half of a Large Intestine = 1 Semicolon
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MKSheppard
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Post by MKSheppard »

Shepnukeistan Defense Department Press Release #1

Due to the growing threat of Wilkonian naval spending, the Kozlowski Commission has been formed to study various methods to respond to the growing M.E.S.S. Naval Threat to O.M.S.K. Pact Forces.

Among the options being studied are:

--Reversing the Fleet Drawbacks programmed for next year.

--Using the Fleet Drawbacks to build up allied or neutral naval power in response via Foreign Military Assistance Aid.

--Forming Strategic Maritime Wings consisting of either Tu-95/Tu-142 BEARs aquired from the Red Technocracy; or a further development of the B-1 as the PB-1E Sea Lancer.

--Developing and exporting widely modern supersonic anti-ship missile battery complexes at cost to anyone who asks.

The Commission is expected to issue it's report next month.
Last edited by MKSheppard on 2008-04-09 01:41pm, edited 2 times in total.
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by Decue »

Now Gottland, a new world power rising?

New Gottlands leader conformed the order of a Antonov An-225 this afternoon from the Red Technocracy. "This will be a great step forward in our goal of a peaceful world" the High Lord said "We can deploy our peacekeeping forces anywhere in the world when it is delivered, for a better and safer world. A whole new military branch will be formed to accommodate this lovely aircraft, it will be called an 'air force', only there very cream of worlds nations has one and now it is time for us to be part of that cream."


In other news

In light of announcement of the forming of an Gottish Air Force minister of defence has provided some details.
-The Marine Company will be put under air force command and the name changed to 'Better Armoured Military Forces Company' or BAMF Company for short.
-The Armoured IFV under R&D by the nations best and brightest will be issued the BAMFs when it is ready.
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Post by Coyote »

Arik leaned back, enjoying the soft, fleshy warmth of the beautifully formed DD-cup breasts that he nestled his head onto. The girl rubbing his shoulders ran her fingers through us hair.
"Would you like a drink, milord?" she asked.
"Oh, yes," Arik responded.

The girl got up and retrieved a most excellent White Russian, which tasted as dreamy as she looked. And to think that some people come here, get to be rulers of their own nations, and they waste all their time with guns and missiles and shit, Arik sighed.

"Anything else, milord?" the girl asked sweetly. Arik was tempted, but three times already before lunch was just being cold and cruel to the rest of the world.
"Ahh, duty calls, my sweet," he said, and reached for the remote. He watched the news programs and saw New Gottland's announcement to form an Air Force.

"For the love of God, their whole military could fit in that thing," Arik muttered. But it did give him an idea. I'll have to contact Gottland... He switched the channel, and saw the announcement from Shepnukistan.
--Developing and exporting widely modern supersonic anti-ship missile battery complexes at cost to anyone who asks.
"Sweet!" Arik said, putting down his drink. "Save me the trouble of having to build & buy that crap myself. See? This is the way to live." He reached for the cell phone, clipped to the inside of the bathrobe's pocket.

"Shepnukistan Foreign Office, how may I direct your call?" a accented voice asked.
"This is Lord Arik Coyotus of the People's Republic of Canissia," Arik announced himself, "I just saw the offer for anti-ship missiles being announced and asked if I could jump on that bandwagon."
"I'll forward your request to the appropriate agencies," the operator replied.

Arik sat back and enjoyed the idea of getting some awesome missiles at cost.
"Fuckin' sweet," he said. He got bored with local the news and put in the disc that had yesterday's CNN recorded on it. Arik liked to keep up with the news back home from time to time.

"And today's surprise announcement by President Hillary Clinton that Al Gore will be presented with the cabinet post of Internet Czar, with his wife Tipper in charge of spam-filters..." Arik smiled.

"God, I'm glad I got away from that asscrack planet while there was still time," he said. "Every time I wonder if this was the right decision, I see something like this... Fuck, yeah."
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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Shroom Man 777
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Shroomania would like to advertise the Joint Air-and-Sea Defense (JASD) Plan that uses the Zorian Advanced Anti-Ship Missile (ZAASM) made by the Republic of PeZookia - a relatively low-cost system developed specifically to defend the coasts of threatened nations.

Also, Shroomania would like to inform its ally in the FUNGAL AXIS, New Gottland, that Shroomanian defense corporations are willing to sell AFVs to the Gottish government.
Shroom Man 777 wrote:The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
PLAYING PMC

Image
Shroomanian corporations offer to sell AFVs to New Gottland

In light of the fragile situation in New Gottland, and the recent demobilization of Allied forces in Syndromia, Shroomanian defense corporations have sent representatives to both New Gottland and Syndromia to offer the services of their private military contractors.
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
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Post by MKSheppard »

Shroom Man 777 wrote:Shroomania would like to advertise the Joint Air-and-Sea Defense (JASD) Plan that uses the Zorian Advanced Anti-Ship Missile (ZAASM) made by the Republic of PeZookia - a relatively low-cost system developed specifically to defend the coasts of threatened nations.
*Department of Defense, Shepnukistan*

Lt Colonel McDaniel, Co Chairman of the Kozlowski Commission sat at his desk flipping through various television channels, until he saw the announcement by Shroomania.

Hm, This looks interesting

Picking up his desk phone, he quickly placed a call to the Point of Contact (POC) for the JASD Project, specifically the ZAASM desk.

"Hello, this is ShepNukistan's DoD, we're interested in buying into your JASD program and exporting it widely under our Foreign Military Assistance program, saving us the bother of developing a missile and complex. Please keep in mind that this is not yet definite; you should have a straight up answer within a month."

"Okay, how many missiles?" came the voice on the other end.

"At a start, if we do decide to provide missile batteries at cost under FMA, I'd say that numbers could reach 2,500 missiles a year, for a start. If the program proves popular enough, it could hit 5,000."

(HINT: Now is the time comrades to start an intensive ad campaign in Shepnukeistani papers and bribing government officials with all expenses paid trips)
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

[:twisted: Excellent.]

Recognizing this to be an immense opportunity of JASD/ZAASM proponents in both Shroomania and PeZookia, defense contractors from both nations have begun intensive ad campaigns while giving Shepnukistani officials 'incentives' to purchase obscene quantities of ZAASMs.

[You won't see any of this in the papers though ;)]

In return for Shepnukistan's magnanimity in donating that, to quote the Prime Minister, 'cool' ASAT system, Shroomanian officials have welcomed their Shepnukistani counterparts to tour Shroomania and all her FUNGAL AXIS ally nations in a marathon of booze and babes and fine wine and all matters and forms of decadence.

Image
A drunken Shepnukistani general gets on top of a stage to make a grandiose monologue on Truth, Freedom, and the Shepnukistani Yay. A speech that touches on the danger of 'impurified bodily fluids' and 'nuking the living hell outta "them"' and many other profound topics. Much fun was had by all.
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
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Post by K. A. Pital »

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Lì ci sono chiese, macerie, moschee e questure, lì frontiere, prezzi inaccessibile e freddure
Lì paludi, minacce, cecchini coi fucili, documenti, file notturne e clandestini
Qui incontri, lotte, passi sincronizzati, colori, capannelli non autorizzati,
Uccelli migratori, reti, informazioni, piazze di Tutti i like pazze di passioni...

...La tranquillità è importante ma la libertà è tutto!
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Post by Zor »

In light of your consideration of Zorian Products, the Royal Zorian Areospace Engineering Corperation would be glad to send a pair of ZAASM for trials and a team of engineers for technical assistance to Shepnukistan free of charge.

Zor
HAIL ZOR! WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
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WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
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Post by MKSheppard »

Bakewell Aerospace and Defense

One of the major aerospace companies in the RoS has begun preliminary work on a ZAASM based system in a joint partnership with the Royal Zorian Aerospace Engineering Corporation (RZAEC); with the expectation of scoring a major contract if it is picked.,

Accordingly, Bakewell/RZAEC has had the Shepnukistani DoD Designation offices allocate the following sequences:

ZMGM-174 ZAASM-1
ZMGM-175 ZAASM-2

Current planning centers around re-using the Hardened Mobile Launchers from the MIM-173 program to support the new anti-ship missiles; to save both money and operating costs by making parts compatible with future deployments of the MIM-173 ASAT program by various countries.

Image
Hardened Mobile Launcher Reused from MIM-173 Program.

Projected plan is for a typical ZMGM-174/175 Shore Defense Battalion to consist of the following; once again based on MIM-173 organization for ease of export and planning.

Organization is as follows:
1 x HQ Company
---4 x Batteries (Each Battery commanded by a Captain, and contains 70-90 troops)
------1 x Fire Control/HQ Platoon
------1 x Launcher Platoon (4 x HMLs)
------1 x Reloading Platoon (4 x RMLs)
------1 x Maintenance Platoon

Due to the significantly smaller size of the ZAASMs, three can be accomodated in each launcher, compared to only a single MIM-173 ASAT.

A typical Battalion would have:

48 x MGM-174s or MGM-175s Ready to Fire in Hardened Mobile Launchers (HMLs)
48 x MGM-174s or MGM-175s Ready to Load in Hardened Mobile Reloaders (HMRs)

For a total of 96 missiles per Battalion.

Due to the greater vunerability of anti-ship missile batteries to enemy countermeasures and the need for increased mobility; along with the increased number of missiles per HML/HMR; the truck element with it's crated missiles has been deleted compared to the ASAT battalion.

In order to supply both the O.M.S.K. Pact's own needs for coastline defense and to maintain a ready supply for FMA; it is estimated about 100 battalions will have to be procured each year; making for a total of 10,000 missiles a year; (actually 9,600 but I round off to 10k to take into account bad missiles, testing, etc).

Obviously, such a huge production run cannot be met by either Bakewell or RZAEC; so feelers have been made with Shroomania and Pezookia for the setting up of licensed production facilities in those countries to supply the obscene needs of the MGM-174/175 program.
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

As Shroomanian defense corporations have also participated in the late-stage development of the ZAASM and the JASD, together with their Republican counterparts (PeZook was the one who posted the ZAASM/JASD's progress), they are expecting a rather considerable commission :D



In other news...
EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! AUTOMATED COMMERCE VESSEL! ROBOT FISH-KILLING MACHINES!

Image
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
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Post by PeZook »

Royal Palace, capital city of Astoria

"Karol! Get me a new bathrobe, for fuck's sake!" - King Paul took out a handkerchief and tried to wipe the coffee from a diplomatic brifing folder he held in his hand. His assistant came rushing in, along with a couple of bodyguards.

"What happened?!" - Karol, one of the King's most seasones assistants, looked worried. Fortunately, one look at the situation assured him there was no real danger

"Damn!" - the King was still trying to formulate his thoughts properly - "Get my advisors in here."

--------------------------------------------------

Ten minutes later

"So, gentlemen, as you can see, Shepnukistan really has a proper sense of scale." - the King was the first to know, apparently. He held the briefing in his hand - "They want to deploy ten thousand missiles a year. We're struggling to deploy fifty."

"But that's good, right?" - the Trade Minister asked

"It would be, if we were the ones who made the missiles" - the Minister of Defense was apparently not very happy about missing a huge weapon sales contract

"Whoa, whoa. We can still participate in the system." - the Minister of Technology was a new man in the cabinet, having only been nominated two weeks ago, but had plenty of good ideas - "The Nukistanis are proposing to help us set up a production facility. I say we take the deal!"

"...and we can modify T-72s to make affordable MALS launchers. Nukistani launchers are more capable, but the MALS is definitely more affordable."

The King clasped his hands with satisfaction.

"Excellent! Get me a marketing campaign directed towards Nukistani military-industrial sector and we can get in on the project!" - he said with enthusiasm - "The added industrial capability would be priceless."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Upon hearing Nukistani news, PeZookia proposed to host a conference on the construction if licensed ZAASM productoin facilities in the Republic and Shroomania.

All involved parties are invited, including of course Zoria.
Last edited by PeZook on 2008-04-09 03:25pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image
JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
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