SDNWorld Redux: Story Thread the Second

[Grand Moff Yenchin]

Serenity Sentinel

Massive MacMill's Media Marketing

The MacMill's fast food chain launched a series of mass media marketing last week in an attempt to raise sales.

Television viewers may have noticed a series of MacMill'scommercials bombarding prime time, these commercials, according to the marketing division of MacMill's Serenity Branch, were "carefully designed to induce the utmost urge of buying MacMill's products". MacMill's has also looked into local taste and presented a new type of burger, coming with specifically designed commercials (1, 2). Similar commercials and ads could be found in various media.

While MacMill's sales have indeed risen during the past week, the rival franchise, B'nL, doesn't seem threatened. "We have steady sales and Serenites have a growing fondness of giant wombat burgers. It's always good to have some competition." said a B'nL official.

OOC: Sorry couldn't help it

[Siege]

This… Is Station One, San Dorado’s News Source Supreme!

SDA To Establish Presence In Sabika
In the aftermath of the One Day War, the Board of Directors and the Sabikan government have announced an agreement that will see the establishment of a permanent SDA base in western Sabika. San Dorado was instrumental in pressuring Coilerburg to withdraw from Sabika.

“On invitation by the Sabikan government, elements of 2nd Airmobile Brigade of the San Dorado Army will be quartered in Sabika”, read a statement by the Board. “These troops, working together with Sabikan army and law enforcement personnel, as well as San Doradan advisors, will help the Sabikan government establish an ordered, lawful society.”

The Board has further announced an expansion of economic and humanitarian aid to Sabika. Several large corporations have already confirmed they will invest in the country: most notably, Blues Brothers Shipping is to build a modern port in the harbour-city of Shipborough. “The aid package will benefit both Sabika and San Dorado in the short and long term”, according to the Board.


Shipborough Harbour will soon see significant San Doradan investments.

Meanwhile, the status of Coilerburg as a member of the FTO is in a limbo. "We're watching and waiting", said Helena Skye when asked about the matter. "It seems the invasion was, ah, a tragic mistake made by an overeager junta. We've been promised democratic reform - we're going to see if they pay off first. Frankly it's up to Coilerburg to demonstrate it's worthy of our trust." The economic sanctions against Coilerburg put in place by the President during the One Day War have been largely rescinded, with the exception of trade of military hardware. Consequently, the delivery of the Vigilant class SSGNs ordered by Coilerburg and built in part by Blues Brothers Shipping is in doubt.

Ralson Arms Scores Big Contract
The Dragon Throne of Tian Xia announced today that it has awarded a major contract to Ralson Arms, a division of Ralson Concerns Ltd. The San Doradan arms manufacturer is to deliver many tens of thousands of assault rifles to the armies of Tian Xia and Tian Jiao. “It’s a testament to San Doradan skill”, a spokeswoman for Sam Ralson said “that even Great Powers come to us for their products. That should tell people that ‘Made in San Dorado’ isn’t synonymous with cheap crap anymore; we make quality products here.”

Universal Motors Loses Race
“Well, better luck next time”, said Universal Motors F-1 driver Louis Jenson after he ended in fifth place in the opening race of the season. “The Byzantine track didn’t cater to our strengths, really – too many corners, not enough straight stretches.” Mikhael Schumacharios won the first race, to the general approval of the overwhelmingly Byzantine home audience.

ASSET Launched As Leaders Watch



Under the watchful eyes of President Sidney Hank and Premier Shroom of Shroomania the Rocket Forces today launched the second Lucrelance II space booster from the Camp Kittyhawk Rocketfields. Aboard were one ASSET test vehicle and two surveillance satellites. “Spectacular!” Premier Shroom was quoted as saying. “Too bad it didn’t blow up though.” It was the first fully successful launch of the Lucrelance II, development of which was unusually fast even by San Doradan standards.

[PeZook]

250 kilometers above the Earth

The capsule made its circles around the blue planet below, whizzing past entire countries in minutes. After six days of such circling - seemingly pointless to a casual observer - it fired its RCS thrusters and oriented the solid-fuelled rocket booster for deorbiting. A signal was sent from Mission Control and...nothing happened.

"What the hell?", muttered Mikolay Pavlovich Gaskin, one of FASTA Directors Of Flight Operations, who was to handle the deorbit burn, "Booster, status?"

"Uh...I'm not sure. Internal diagnostics show all systems are green, flight.", answered a Shroomanian manning the booster control console.

"Could it be an automatics failure?"

"Possibly...should we try the chimp?"

"Yeah, give him a signal."

In orbit, a red light lit up inside the capsule, accompanied by a buzzing signal. Chim Chim was dozing off in his life support rig, tired and angry after six days of doing absolutely nothing. Nevertheless, his conditioning kicked in, and he pulled a conveniently placed lever designed for just this occasion. To his dismay, no food fell out of anywhere, but the solid rocket booster ignited instead, scaring the living shit out of the poor chimp.

"Whew", Gaskin sat back in his chair, "That was a close call. What's this delay gonna do to the landing site?"

"It'll be off by some 50-70 kilometers."

"Well, damn. Signal those San Doradans to haul ass."

Atlantic Ocean, north of Frequesque

The San Dorado Navy was given the honor of recovering the capsule this time, but everything seemed to have been going wrong. First, mechanical failures plagued half the ships, then most of the recovery crew got food poisoning, and now this.

"Goddammit!", exclaimed the task force's commander, "Fuck!"

"What are your orders, sir?"

"What do you think? Move the SAR birds to the new search area, and let's haul ass!"

Two hours later, San Dorado City

"Oh man, you guys got your asses kicked so hard!", Shroom was in the middle of a shit-talking binge with President Hank, richly augmented by alcohol, when an aide entered quietly and slipped him a hand-written note.

On the small piece of paper were two short sentences:

"Chim Chim has landed. Recovery was succesfull."

[Shroom Man 777]

Shroomanian Stories
Over the skies of San Dorado

"Oh man, you guys got your asses kicked so hard!", Shroom was in the middle of a shit-talking binge with President Hank, richly augmented by alcohol, when an aide entered quietly and slipped him a hand-written note.

On the small piece of paper were two short sentences:

"Chim Chim has landed. Recovery was succesfull."

"RUN! GET TO THE CHOPPER!" Shroom shouted.



Mushroom Marine One and Pride One flew side by side. The former vessel carried Premier Shroomanov of Shroomania, and the latter had within it President Hank of San Dorado. Both Premierial and Presidential helicopters made best speed for the naval base which would receive the world's latest hero of space - Chim Chim.

Helena Skye had to admit, that the sheer obscene size of Shroom Force One was a plus when it came to somehow transporting Premierial helicopters on the quick.

"Flying in a Shroombus A380 is a plus when it comes to transporting mein choppers on the quick," Premier Shroom said absentmindedly. "We can even fit my entire motorcade in the big bird, hah."

Without further ado, the choppers landed on the naval base where the vessel ferrying Chim Chim had docked to deposit the space monkey and his space capsule, finally setting them back on terra firma after their space journey into space.

Shroom exited his helo and flipped on his sunglasses. There, before him, was the space capsule in all its resplendent glory. It looked slightly crispy, no doubt from its re-entry from space. It was also nothing like the frightening throbbing erection he had seen back at FASTA's launch pad in Jerusalem, that massive thing that made him so scared... and envious. Indeed, it was an emasculated little tin can. No longer proud and towering, but humble.

"Oook...oook... Oook-oook?" a faint non-human cry could be heard from somewhere. Behind the capsule.

"Chim Chim?" Premier Shroom asked slowly.

"Ook! Ook!" a blurred black-furred thing lept from behind the space capsule and the space chimp from space landed on the Premier, using all four dextrous ape-limbs to embrace Shroom in an ape-hug.

"Chim Chim!" Shroom exclaimed. "How are you, buddy?"

"Oook! Oook! OOOK OOOK!"

"I knew you'd make it, old friend. I was waiting for you."

"Ook ook."

"Ook." Shroom whispered quietly to the ape's ear.



*click*

LIVE on ShroomStratTV
Live on ShroomStratTV
FUN FASTA FIRMA


Chim Chim returns from space and gets to sit down and talk about his mission.

Chim Chim has made his safe and happy landing after successfully completing his space mission and, in a surprising twist, Premier Shroom was there to welcome him back to Earth. The Premier was there when Chim Chim was launched into space and, in fact, gave the chimpanzee a morale-boosting pep talk before his space mission began.

The Premier and the primate have been getting along famously.

[PeZook]

The First Man

Comrade Stanislav Rocket Factory

With a clank of metal, the massive module of the Atlas-Sputnik rocket was eased onto the flatbed railway car. When workers secured it tightly to the specialized flatbed, the factory's director climbed onto the locomotive and turned to his workers.

"Comrades!", he began, turning everybody's attention away from the rocket, "This train leaves our factory now, and will carry the rocket to faraway Jerusalem. I wanted to tell you that this particular rocket will accomplish an incredible thing: it will bring a human to orbit for the first time in history!"

There was silence, broken only by a sudden hiss from the locomotive.

"I am proud of every single one of you. While Western television will only see the Shroomanian who will ride this rocket, I know that without you, the greatest enterprise of mankind could never be possible! This machine, built by your hands, will carry mankind into space, and towards a glorious future. We've made history together!"

The workers began to cheer, as understanding dawned on them. With a clamor, the train began moving out of its protective shelter, guarded closely by heavily armed KGB troops. To the south - to Jerusalem.

Comona Island Space City



"Alan", said Deke Slayton, FASTA chief mission planner, leaning on the edge of the simulator's hatch, "We have to talk."

Alan Shroompard looked up at his boss and pulled off his headset.

"Can this wait, Deke? I wanted to finish this program, and..."

"No, sorry. Come on."

Farbanti, four hours later

Alan barged into his house, his eyes ablaze. He ran through the living room and into the kitchen.

"Honey?", he said to his wife, who was busy making dinner. She jumped slightly and turned around.

"Alan? I thought you weren't supposed to be back for another two days..."

"I'm just in to change and take a shower. Remember those weekend plans we had?"

"Yes...what happened?", Alicia Shroompard asked, seeing her husband so excited.

"There might be a slight change in destination."

"What? Where? But we already..."

"How about...low earth orbit?"

Mercury 2e is cancelled, and the hardware will be used for Mercury 3. This makes some people very happy.

[DarthShady]

Location: Temple Prime, Sarajevo, USSR
Unreal Time...

Shady returned from Sofias funeral soaking wet, the rain had been falling the whole day, it seemed like the gods themselves shared his grief and anger. He locked himself in his office and began to drink, hoping that somehow he could kill the pain. It wasn't working and the only thing he managed to accomplish, was to get drunk. Then slowly his sadness turned into anger, and lacking a target for his anger he took it out on the room, trashing it to pieces. He loved Sofia and now she was gone, taken from him and there was nothing he could do about it, except wallow in his own misery. Days had passed and the Premier did nothing but drink and shout at those who tried to comfort him. Finally realizing he wasn't doing anyone any good, especially himself, the Premier went to his residence to sleep it off. He would come back on Monday, and set things in order.

When he arrived to his office on Monday, he found it completely cleaned up and ready for him, as if nothing had happened. Inside Kane was waiting with an unexpected surprise for the Premier. Shady entered the room and saw Kane sitting in his chair, he greeted him and proceeded to place his coat on the nearby sofa. Kane got up and poured the Premier a drink.

"Are you ready to get back to it?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Kane smiled and sat on the sofa.

"I hope so, we have a lot of work."

Shady smiled a wry smile and sat in his chair, he then pulled a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and after offering Kane a smoke, he lit one. "So what do you have for me?", Shady asked and opened the new laptop on his desk, "Anything urgent?"

"The files are on your laptop. We have several projects which require your attention.", Kane said, "And although there is nothing urgent, there is a matter I wish to discuss with you."

"What would that be?", Shady asked.

"You'll be needing a new assistant.", Kane said and then paused, "Now, I know that others are in charge of hiring your new assistant, but I would like to propose a candidate."

"Who?", The Premier asked, obviously not enjoying the new topic of the conversation.

"One of my own people.", Kane said, "A women from the Brotherhood."

"I don't need another bodyguard.", Shady said. "I need...", he paused, "A new assistant."

"She is highly educated and more than capable of handling the job.", Kane began, "And in addition she is a trained killer, one of our best. With recent events I feel that it is necessary to add another layer of protection for you. With your permission, I would like to call her in now, so you can meet her."

"Very well.", Shady said, "Bring her in."

Kane got up and opened the door, he gestured for the woman to come in. She came inside and greeted the Premier, "Comrade Shady, my name is Elena. I look forward to working for you."

The Premier sat there in shock, starring at the young woman.

"You...", he finally said, "How?"

"I do not believe we have meet before.", Elena said, confused by his reaction.

"Goddamn you Q! Why are you doing this to me?.", Shady thought to himself. "Forgive me my dear, but you have a striking resemblance to a person I once knew.", he said, "It is a pleasure to meet you. Please have a seat."

"What the hell was Q up to?", Shady thought to himself.

"This is my file.", Elena said and placed a folder on the desk, "I'm sure you will want to review it."

"Yes. Thank you.", Shady said, "I know more about you then you could possibly imagine.", he thought and then remembered that some things would be different about her, in this reality.

"Well, Sir. If there is nothing else, we shall excuse ourselves and leave you to your work.", Kane said and the two of them left the room, leaving the Premier deep in thought.

Result: The Premier grieves the loss of Sofia, and then gets a present from Q. The purpose of which is yet to be revealed.

[Lonestar]

Fauqier Army Air Force Base

Major-General Al Asad, formerly of the Shepistani Strategic Air Command sighed. The base, the Domino base, had a line of B-56Gs, RB-56Hs, and KC-22s. Supposedly at another base 15 Su-34s had been recovered and stored. There was a rumble as another B-56G came in for a landing. ODAAF airman rushed forward to the detox station to begin the hosing down with various detergents. Al-Asad sighed again.

“Problem, General?” Came a voice that put Asad in the mind of metal grinding. Colonel Soto(actually, he was retired but insisted he be referred to as his rank) was his watchdog from the BMI. The man was short, stocky, and several decades ago had made Ace shooting down Shepistani fighters in his F-4.

“Nothing Colonel.” Asad said. “Nothing at all.”

A thin smile. “General, if I didn’t know better you were showing…remorse at the state of your air forces? Tsk tsk…we are your countrymen now.”

“Of course.” Asad said. Countrymen? You as good as committed genocide when you sealed off East Shepistan, my Shepistani brothers. He had had relatives stuck in East Shepistan after the partition; were it not for his merit he would have never clawed his way up to flag officer rank in the Shepistani SAC. “Why no Japanistani planes?”

“We are destroying them. With the withdraw of Japanistan to hermit kingdom status it will be impossible to properly maintain the equipment. Oh, sure, we may keep a couple around for study…” Soto waved a hand “…but the parts and infrastructure is intact for us to keep a small force of 30 B-56Gs or so.”

“What will you use them for?” Asad asked.

“Hmm?”

“What. Will. You. Use them for?”

“Maritime patrol/attack. You Shepistanis…” Asad noted that since the disaster he hadn’t heard any Domino refer to his people as “rock-chuckers”. “…had a good idea with that.”

“Even with many more bombers, we were unable to completely destroy your war fleet.”

“Yes…obviously we need faster missiles and bigger warheads. At least one of those problems has been solved. Ah, speak of the devil.” A TXAF airlifter was coming in for a landing. “Step inside, would you?”

Step inside or I may blow your brains out. Asad followed Soto in.

“Colonel?”

“Yes?”

“You recall I handed over the location of quite a few of our C&C facilities, all of which were well protected in case of an emergency like the one that happened. Did you ever find them?”

“Oh yes. We’ve had our UAVs criss-crossing the former Shepistan for months looking for bunkers. We found all the ones you mentioned.”

“Did you make contact with anyone?” My son, my wife, my brother…anyone?

“We sent teams…”

“And?”

Soto paused, then turned. He had a strange half-grin on his face.

“As I said, general, WE are your countrymen now.”


RESULTS: Nascent SAC for the ODAAF, gear is being hauled out of Shepistan. There are a couple hundred T-72xs what we can let go cheap!

[Coiler]

San Dorado Herald

FREE ELECTIONS IN COILERBURG:

Yesterday, Coilerburg began the path to its first free elections, as for the first time in many years, the government allowed opposition parties to participate by drafting an amendment to the Coilerburg constitution.

There are three main parties, which is surprising to some, but not to all.

COILERBURG NATIONAL PARTY
Candidate: Hugh Kyles

The National Party has ruled Coilerburg as the sole party for much of its existence, and is known to either be dominated by the military or desperately kissing up to the military by giving it shiny warships and fighter planes. More seriously, there is great division on its chances-on one hand, it is the status quo that Coilerburg's public is used to, on the other, said status quo has not been too great.

One strike against Kyles is that he is seen to be just a pawn of the military.

COILERBURG FREEDOM PARTY
Candidate: Geoffrey Stone

The Freedom Party is an electic mix of opposition groups with vary goals that banded together to form a unified party for the election. Their platform includes increased political freedom and freedom of the press, a smaller military, and more peaceful relations with its Frequesuean neighbors.

THE ONE COILERBURG PARTY
Candidate: Clancy Smith

The One Coilerburg Party is an extremely nationalist party formed by those who believe that Coilerburg has been let down by both the National Party and military, and needs a fresh boost to become a new and great nation. They support increased freedom of the press, the creation of a blue water navy, and so-called "national pride".

There has been a massive advertising blitz by all sides in the campaign in the lead-up to the elections, with posters, TV shows, and billboards appearing all over the place in what has seemed like an instant......

[Shroom Man 777]

Shroomanian Stories
Downtown San Dorado

"Have we settled on a name yet?" the President asked.

"We have", Jensen nodded. "Silver Streak."

"Sweet", President Hank threw another look at the prototype in front of him. "Once again, I have to compliment you and your teams for their fantastic work. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll have to place a call to Shroomania. I bet they'll want to know about this."

The Premier and the President munched on the enormous Big Kahuna Burgers and masticated the burger beefs in their mouths, and occasionally they would pause to drink some Monggo Mega San Dorado Soda. The sleeves of their formal attire were rolled up, to avoid being dirtied by the sauces, but already Premier Shroom had his tie stained by ketchup. Fortunately, his tie was red, so it wasn't obvious.

On the kiddie seat beside them, Chim Chim ate his Ford Fries politely. Ford Fries, slices of potatoes fried in cooking oil, a world-famous delicacy originating from Ford Prefect's Country - that mysterious big blue place in the middle of the F-ing Continent.

The two world leaders and the first chimpanzee in space ate leisurely, confident of the fact that their fastfood restaurant establishment was safely protected by the platoon of Mushroom Marines and San Dorado biker cops saturating the area.

"Ook... oook... oook..." Chim Chim sighed as he played with the remains of his food, no longer hungry.

"Awww... I think he's sleepy," the Premier observed. "Okay, Chim Chim, after this we'll tuck you in. Then, afterwards, we grownups can talk. President?"

"Premier. After we... tuck Chim Chim in, you might be interested in giving the University of San Dorado and La Palma a visit." President Hank suggested. Then he burped.

"The USDLP, huh? I was never really good with the academic stuff. Back at school, in class I'd get distracted by just about any shiny thing that caught my attention," Premier Shroom said as he gulped down the last chunk of his burger beef. He didn't burp. Rather, he belched.

"Well, we've got something quite shiny for you to see, my good friend," Sydney Hank confided with a wink.

"How shiny?" it caught Shroom's attention, despite the food-addled state of his brain.

"Let's say that it's as shiny as silver."


Results:
Show me your DYNA-Shroom, Siege

[Zor]

Union Press

Zoria Buys Japanistani Colony

Atlantica Palace-Today, in an unexpected turn of events, the Japanistani Government has sold a settlement established on the Eastern Coast of Veleria to the United Kingdom of Zoria for some fifteen million Dollars.

The Settlement was established slightly before the development of the Port Adria scientific base on the Dragonsnake river, with some 600 colonists delivered to the area covertly to attempt to establish a presence in the pacific, however, the colony was underfunded and the logistics of managing such a colony made the settlement go well over it's limited budget. As such, Imperial Japanistan negotiated a transfer, selling the settlement to the Zorian Government. An official transfer cerimony happened between the Japanistani and Zorian Governments earlier this day.

With the Transfer being official, the Zorian Government has ordered a ten million dollar urban improvement project on the wayward settlement to improve the minor settlement, further establishing the Zorian Presence on this largely untaimed continant.

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Constantinople Times

Old Continent nations adopt economic measures at the OCES

Old Continent nations, in an attempt to revive the regional economy, adopted the following proposals and ratified them:

1. An agreement to ensure common and compulsory medical certifications for all citizens passing through our borders. We believe that the best way to ensure that only healthy persons are allowed to cross the border is that everyone recognises a fixed set of medical examination standards. We propose that everyone certified free of all ailments listed in Annex 1A should be given a card that indicates that they passed the medical exams administered in their respective countries. Only peoples bearing the card will be allowed to do cross-border travel. Exceptions can be made in special cases, such as cross-border medical treatment. We will leave it to the discretion of countries to administer these exceptions.

2. An agreement to ensure that all goods crossing the border are certified free of all biological agents listed in Annex 1B. This is a form of export control to ensure that biological agents do not spread beyond a country's borders.

3. An agreement to remove tarrifs altogether excepting certain items as determined by individual nations.

4. An agreement to adopt common customs standards to improve the efficiency of customs processing and to allow for briskier trade.

5. An agreement that each country would do its part to restimulate their respective economies so that our economies will be back on track again.

Stock market rallies across the continent.

Stock markets across the region responded to the outcome of the OCES positively, with some markets, such as the Constantinople Stock Exchange and Shroomanian Stock Exchange rallying as much as 5%. Many view that the months long quarantine would only represent a burp in the overall economy.

Mikhail Schumacharios wins F-1 race

Mikhail Schumacharios of Ferrari did Byzantines proud by winning the first F-1 race. The ecstatic Byzantine crowd roared in approval, and the racer was later given a Triumph in the city of Constantinople.


Mikhail Schumarcharios.

[Siege]

Show me your DYNA-Shroom, Siege

University of San Dorado and La Palma – Central Aerospace Research Division

"Comrade-premier... Behold!" the President proclaimed proudly as the guards stepped back and the door to the hangar swung open.

"Whoa", Shroom muttered. Then, more loudly. "Whoa!" He frowned. "But does it fly?"

"It ought to", shrugged President Hank. "We're pretty close to launching it too. We expect this thing to be pretty big in international aerospace - it's a satellite delivery vehicle, a space station evacuation shuttle, a bomb truck, it could do worldwide pizza delivery in minutes..." Sidney Hank grinned conspiratoriously. "So, could be possibly interest Shroomania for the Silver Streak?"

[Shroom Man 777]

Shroomanian Stories

The thing was shiny, really shiny. All silver chrome metallic, like from something out of some 1950s science fiction film, like The Day the Shroom Stood Still or Planet of the Baboons or The Forbidden Fungus. It was totally wicked.

"The Sovereignty of Shroomania is very interested in this. Our commitment to FASTA and science in general means that it is in our best interest to push the envelope in space travel technology and this is Silver Streak is an awesome development in this field," Shroom grinned. "We're totally gonna rock ass with this baby!"

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Imperial Chronicles

Constantinople

The SNC meeting finally started when the delegates from Shroomania, PeZookia, CSR and USSR arrived at the Imperial Palace at Constantinople. The Varangian Guards stood at the sides of the hall in full body armour with watchful eyes. Then finally, the Emperor and his advisers walked into the room to the podium. "Friends, I welcome you to Constantinople for the annual Slavic National Confederacy meeting. Today, in the wake of many earth shaking events over the last few months, it is time to sit down and discuss the future of the SNC.

In particular, we ought to coordinate our foreign policy efforts better, and ensure better communication. I don't have to stress this repeatedly enough. We had some .. disagreements about each others' policies over the last few months. While these disagreements stayed as they are and did not propagate beyond mere.. disagreements, we should however avoid unilateral action when possible.

I shall present a small update to our continental defence plans. At the moment, we have begun testing a sonar buoy array that incorporates very sensitive passive sonar systems, as well active sonar. We expect to start laying the sonar network throughout the Mediterranean and parts of the Arabian Gulf, and perhaps along the coast of the Crimson Star Republic next year.

In addition, many of us have begun full scale production and system integration of the MiG-31T, which will become the premier SNC interceptor. The Byzantine Empire and the Crimson Star Republic are currently jointly working together in a number of classified projects, details which will be released shortly when the time arises. Should anyone wish to inquire on the details, you may do so. (i.e. via PM).

On our space program, we will need more focus. I strongly hope that within 10 years we would have a launcher that can launch a payload of at least 20tonnes. Byzantium and the CSR are working on a few space plane concepts, and the USSR has requested to join us. We will grant such a request. We know that PeZookia has their own ideas and they are welcome to pursue a parallel project using FASTA funding.

So gentlemen, the SNC meeting begins. Should any one of us wish to raise issues, please do so."

[Siege]

Special Weapons



Anlace Tower, downtown San Dorado

From the outside, the building looked like the lair of an evil mastermind straight out of a corny Shroomanian B-movie. That image was all too fitting considering the structure was owned by Ralson Arms, the most unscrupulous division of the already rather ruthless megacorporation Ralson Concerns Ltd. Inside this building, scientists and engineers designed new weaponry for the city-state. And from the offices contained within, weapons were proliferated across the world.

Very near to the top of the building was a luxuriously furnished study. On the oaken-panneled walls hung pictures of the world's greatest armaments next to pictures of their inventors. The crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling was shaped like a mushroom cloud. Golden models of cannons, tanks and aircraft stood on a wooden desk and writing table. The cabinets in the room were stacked full of books about weapons. Outside, the lights of the city came on one by one.

There was currently one man in the room. He was handsome-looking and immaculately dressed. Few people knew his name, but Dr. Bruce Vanderbilt was one of San Dorado's foremost scientists in the field of particle physics. This was his office.



A door opened, and another man entered the room. He was escorted by two corporate security troopers in black uniforms. Unlike Vanderbilt, the second looked not at all like he belonged in this opulent environment. He wore a shabby lab coat over a simple gray-blue shirt and an ungainly set of glasses.

"Ah, Dr. Zelinsky", smiled Vanderbilt. "A pleasure to meet you. Please, have a seat."



Dr. Gregor Zelinsky uncomfortably sat down on the red leather sofa. Vanderbilt took the seat opposite him. "I trust your flight was a comfortable one?"

"Yes, yes, very comfortable, thank you", muttered Zelinsky with an odd accent. He was unfamiliar with San Dorado; he had been born, raised and educated in the CSR. But there he had been ridiculed for his unconventional opinions and research. Eventually, his university had been fed up with him, and he had been fired. He had worked as an office clerk somewhere in the immense state bureaucracy of the CSR - until a woman in an expensive suit had knocked on his door one evening, offering him a first-class ticket to San Dorado. "For a much-needed vacation", she had said and winked. That was two weeks ago. Now he was here.

"Do you know why you are here?" asked Vanderbilt.

"Your people have told me."

"Excellent. We think your considerable talents were going to waste. That would be a shame. So, do you accept?"

"I do."

"Fantastic. Dr. Zelinsky... Welcome to the Outside Context Division."

Result: At the behest of the Board of Directors, Ralson Arms establishes the Outside Context Division. It'll be OCDs job to develop unconventional concepts and weapons systems. Basically, we're giving a load of money to a bunch of mad scientists. We'll see what comes of it .

[Shroom Man 777]

Shroomanian Stories
Constantinople


Premie-... Prime Minister Shroom spoke:

"Gentlemen, firstly I would like to graciously thank our host," Shroom bowed his head to Emperor Heraclius. "And to my friends, King Paul, Comrades Stas and Shady, for allowing Shroomania an observer's seat in the Slavic National Confederacy." Shroom decided to state that fact, to acknowledge how humble his position was in this meeting. "The Sovereignty appreciates being allowed to have a small part in this meeting between the Slavic Nations of the Old Continent, where our nations can come together and deal with the various important issues we face in these times...

"Personally, I'm just glad we've made it through these few past years," Shroom smiled slightly, allowing some of his persona to seep through the unusually formal demeanor he was putting on right now. "We've made it through a lot of challenges, a lot of really bad things that have happened, and we made it together. I am sure if we work together, we can go on strong and weather through whatever storms may come and we can do our peoples, and the Old Continent as a whole, a whole lot of good."


[Off-record informal communication: Hey, thanks Stas for saving Shroomania's ass when Shepistan decided to unload on us. Not sure if our own defenses could've done it without help, so we really appreciate it.

We'd love to have some details on the Byzantine-Crimson classified projects, if that's alright with you guys.]

[PeZook]

Annual SNC conference
Constantinopole

"Ladies and gentlemen, honorable representatives of the SNC and observer nations", King Paul began when it was his turn to speak, "I welcome this opportunity to touch important issues, and would like to thank Emperor Heraclius for graciously hosting the conference.

PeZookia agrees wholeheartedly that more communication and less unilateral action are required - nay, essential - to continued co-operation within the SNC. Unilateralism and secrecy breeds distrust, and all SNC projects will suffer from mistrust. All member nations should commit today to consulting their planned actions with their allies.

On the topic of future space developments, I'd like to respectfully disagree with the Emperor. We shouldn't - no, we must not plan for heavy boosters in ten years."

Paul made a pause for dramatic effect. He gazen upon the gathered delegates and continued.

"We should go further! I believe nations of the FASTA should commit themselves to landing a man on the Moon and returning him safely before the end of the coming decade. I believe we should establish our first permanent presence on our satellite by 2015, and begin an effort in earnest to truly colonize space and stay there. It is my belief that space is not merely a platform for surveillance and communications: space is where the future of humanity lies. We have but to reach out and seize it! And it is possible, too - all it takes is political will. We stand here on the eve of a historic achievement, the likes of which has never been attempted - first manned orbital flight. I say we should follow this incredibly important day with even greater things!"

[Coiler]

COILERBURG FREEDOM PARTY TRIUMPHANT!

The results have been confirmed from the latest Coilerburg election-the Coilerburg Freedom Party and their candidate Geoffrey Stone have won by a comfortable margin over the National and One Coilerburg Parties......

"You see this shit-we're finished!"

"Max, should we try taking matters into our own hands?"

"No, we shouldn't, if you mean what I think you do. We don't have the support of the people or the FTO. Let's face it, we lost, and that's that."

"So, what should we do?"

"Get some comfortable mansions off in the south of Canissia, or some other place with a nice climate, and move out there."

Both generals chuckled at the thought, all the more because they knew it to be true.

[Siege]

Diplomatic Communique, Priority One

FROM: Office of Sidney Hank, President of San Dorado
TO: Geoffrey Stone, President-Elect of Coilerburg
SUBJECT: Congratulations

Dear Mr. Stone,

My heartfelt congratulations with the spectacular electoral victory achieved by you and the Freedom Party you lead. As you know, after the unfortunate events of the past month, relations between our two nations reached an all-time low. We truly hope that this will be the moment the pendulum swings the other way again.

In the past, your nation and mine have worked together; together, we have achieved great things. And we can do so again! We believe that under your leadership, Coilerburg and San Dorado can leave a recent history of animosity behind us, and look toward a better future of cooperation and friendship.

Sincerely,

Sidney Hank

[Master_Baerne]

Baernish Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Private Communique
FROM: His Grace Duke James of Baerne
TO: His Excellency Mr. Geoffrey Stone, President-Elect of Coilerburg

Sir,

We extend our congratulations on your recent victory, as well as our hopes that under your leadership, our relations with Coilerburg may be more friendly than they have been of late.

James of Baerne

[Karmic Knight]

West Strong Bad Island, Off The Coast of The Commonwealth

Senator Alexander Mason looked at the prison, well former prison, the structure dominated the West Island, and much like his Personal Estate, it dominated the East Island. After a rumour began circulating that San Dorado had its own department of mad science, Senator Mason and King Brandon decided it would be best if the Commonwealth caught up.

Project Projection was the solution to the mad science gap, carefully chose scientists of the mad variety were collected under the supervision of one Dr. Trace Beaulieu, former project supervisor of Black Barracuda. All gathered into this single prison island.

Dr. Beaulieu walked up next to the Senator, and without preamble, said, “You have got to be kidding me, a prison?”

“Dr. Beaulieu, I assure you, not only is this the finest facility in the Commonwealth the only people here are you, your staff, and the test subjects.”

Beaulieu smiled coldly, “We have live prisoners to work on then forget what I said.”

”I already have, doctor, I already have.”


Results: Senator Mason, in response to rumours of a San Doradan mad scientist think tank, builds The Commonwealth’s own on the West Island.
Notes: The Islands are located to the South of the Commonwealth, near Syl. Map of the Islands

[PeZook]

The First Man

Jerusalem Space Center, Horizontal Assembly Building A, T-15 days



The massive strap-on booster dangled precariously under the massive assembly crane. Around a dozen workers in white coveralls and hard hats were carefully guiding the piece of machinery towards its receptplace on the core of the rocket.

And to think this is one of the smaller boosters..., thought Ibrahim Al-Kadeli, looking at his cliboard. He was a chief assembly supervisor at the Jerusalem Space Center. Normally he wouldn't personally oversee assembly of a rocket, but this wasn't just any Atlas-Sputnik booster.

The strap-on module - some Shroomanian made a joke about the term yesterday, Al-Kadeli remembered - was finally eased into place, and technicians began carefully securing it to the rocket. The upcoming mission would stand or fall depending on quality of their work, so they took their time.



Ibrahim looked at the assembly floor. The rocket was huge - the human mind had trouble comprehending machines this large, in fact. And even more amazing was what lay in the future: San Dorado and Old Dominion already both had boosters twice as large, and the JSC's Vertical Assembly Building was constructed with capability to assemble boosters ten times bigger than the Atlas-Sputnik.

To see a launch of one of those monstrous rockets was a dream of Ibrahim's. He joined FASTA as soon as he heard of the organization, and dreamed of rockets and spacecraft every day.

He leaned on the railing and smiled, seeing a young intern approach the unassembled rocket with a bucket of paint and a handful of letter cut-outs. He was given the crappiest job of all, but still performed it religiously. He dipped the brush, pressed the first letter against the body and began painting, carefully and meticulously. The letter was an "M", but Ibrahim already knew what the entire writing would say.

Mercury 3.

[Siege]

Introducing...

OUTSIDE CONTEXT DIVISION
Personnel Roster



“Sometimes, truth isn't good enough, sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.”

NAME: Bruce Vanderbilt
FUNCTION: Division Chief
CAREER: Pregraduate at La Palma University, conducted postgraduate study at University of Farbanti. Employed by MacMillian Megaphysics as a particle physicist, then by Fenraven Nuclear as an associate researcher. Worked as an independent consultant to the Shepistani nuclear program and as a consultant to the Byzantine Superconducting Linear Collider. Returned to San Dorado at the request of President Hank to head the OCD.




“No, no, no! It is not ready!”

NAME: Gregor Zelinsky
FUNCTION: Head, Department of Orbital Mechanics
CAREER: Educated at the Red Star University in Stasograd, conducted postgraduate study at the King Paul Academy for the Sciences in PeZookia, employed as a researcher at the Comrade Stanislav Rocket Factories, briefly stationed in Commune-1 before being fired for ‘antinationalist sympathies’. Convinced by ambassador Duquesne to migrate to San Dorado and accept Dr. Vanderbilt’s job offer.




“Excellent! Let's make some LSD!”

NAME: Walter Bishop
FUNCTION: Head, Department of Augmetics & Genetical Biophysics
CAREER: Summa Cum Laude graduate of the Presidential University, briefly employed by Massive Dynamics prior to that company’s acquisition by SinTEK. Spent fifteen years as a bio-engineer for that corporation. Was brought up on manslaughter charges after a failed genetics experiment. Spent seven years in a mental institution before being released after pressuring of Dr. Vanderbilt and the OCD.




“You’re treating a symptom while the disease rages on, consumes the human race. The fish rots from the head, so they say. So I’m thinking, why not cut off the head?”

NAME: Gerald Hastly
FUNCTION: Head, Department of Experimental Sciences
CAREER: Graduate, Ducal University of Baerne. Worked for the Ducal Armouries for some years before moving to Canissia. Quit his job at the THEL program because it was ‘not ambitious enough’. Briefly worked on the Shroomanian ‘Stonehenge Project’. Developed an obsession with huge guns and even huger machineries. Moved back to Frequesue after Dr. Vanderbilt promised him the OCD would be able to satisfy his desire to build massive cannonry.


Result: The personnel roster of the Outside Context Division is filled in. Now, it's time to develop some space cannons!

[DarthShady]

Annual SNC conference
Constantinopole


"Comrades, It is good to see us gathered like this once again.", Premier Shady began, "I thank our host, the Emperor for his gracious hospitality. I would just like to say, that I agree with Comrade Paul in regards to the continued co-operation within the SNC. I believe that together, working as brothers and allies we can achieve great things and bring a truly glorious future to our people."

The Premier leaned forward in his chair and continued.


"However to accomplish that we must work together, there can be no secrets between us. We have seen the fruits of our collaboration already with the development of atomic weapons, with which we can now ensure the safety of our great alliance and it's people. It is known that Byzantium and the CSR are working together on a number of projects that will benefit us all, I have already asked but I shall do so again. Comrades I want to join you in working on these projects, I will allocate funding and assign the greatest scientific minds of the USSR for this purpose. I believe that there mustn't be any secrets between us, I also believe that we should work together as an alliance, with every member contributing for the greater good. What say you comrades?

[[OOC: If someone wouldn't mind PM'ing me with the information. I already know about a few of the projects, but I need the big picture. Working together Comrades, that is the future. ]]

[Beowulf]

Starbooster

The Starbooster launch vehicle family is a collection of launchers based around a common technology sets, designed for reusable two stage to orbit launching. They are winged paired vehicles. This configuration, although it's less efficient in terms of mass ratio to orbit, makes development significantly easier. One of the largest enablers for this system is the thrust augmented nozzle, which allows up to 200% increase in thrust, while allowing a highly efficient large expansion ratio for high altitude/vacuum use. Another enabler is the use of propellant crossfeeds, allowing the booster to supply propellant to both vehicles, and the sustainer to have a full load of fuel at staging. A third enabler is the the use of "wet" wings. The high density and non-cryogenic nature of RP-1 allows this, and significantly increases fuel load at little weight gain.

Currently Starbooster 20 is in testing, with the large iterations just on the drawing boards.

Vehicles:
Starbooster 20
RL-10 powered ~660kN thrust at T-0
500kg to orbit
Total launch weight: 36 tons
Empty weight: 3.7 tons (per vehicle)

Starbooster 55
3x RL-10 powered ~1980kN thrust at T-0
4500kg to orbit
Total launch weight: 110 tons
Empty weight: 8.9 tons (per vehicle)

Starbooster 220
J-2X powered ~8MN thrust at T-0
21000 kg to orbit
Total launch weight: 436 tons
Empty weight: 32.5 tons (per vehicle)

Starbooster 500
RS-83 powered ~18MN thrust at T-0
50000 kg to orbit
Total launch weight: 995 tons
Empty weight: 72.5 tons (per vehicle)

Starbooster 1000
2x RS-83 per vehicle ~36MN thrust at T-0
100000 kg to orbit
Total launch weight: 1990 tons
Empty weight: 145 tons (per vehicle)