Mormon Doorknockers

Lord Zentei · Post by **Lord Zentei** » 2006-03-25 03:15pm

This reminds me of the method one of my uncle's classmates used to get rid of some Jehovah's Witnesses.

- Hello, sir. Are you interested in hearing about <blah blah blah>?

- Who are you guys?

- Well, we are Jehovah's Witnesses, and ---

- Oh, yeah! You are the guys with the polygamy, right?

- Err, no, we ---

- Huh! Not interested! <slams door>

Kojiro · Post by **Kojiro** » 2006-03-25 09:43pm

Well apparently they're going to come back with someone who can 'explain it better' to me. Now that I've done some actual research on them I'm rather looking was forward to it but I've been asked to help someone move house.

In some ways I almost consider it my duty to open their eyes, or at least try.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2006-03-26 03:23am

I prefer the Ozzy/stones mthod.

playing hard rock/heavy metal at 80db

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-03-26 03:33am

If Mormons or JWs ever come back to our place, I'm going to ask Rebecca to tell them that she has a fantasy about getting gangbanged by her husband along with two other men, and that she'd like to know if they want to stick around until I get home.

I don't know if she would actually be willing to say that, but it would be fucking hilarious to see their reactions.

wolveraptor · Post by **wolveraptor** » 2006-03-26 10:10am

Always grab your camera when these people show up at your door. This shit's better than home movies.

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » 2006-03-26 10:13am

Darth Wong wrote:If Mormons or JWs ever come back to our place, I'm going to ask Rebecca to tell them that she has a fantasy about getting gangbanged by her husband along with two other men, and that she'd like to know if they want to stick around until I get home.

I don't know if she would actually be willing to say that, but it would be fucking hilarious to see their reactions.

What if they are actually up for it?

Lusankya · Post by **Lusankya** » 2006-03-26 10:27am

Flagg wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:If Mormons or JWs ever come back to our place, I'm going to ask Rebecca to tell them that she has a fantasy about getting gangbanged by her husband along with two other men, and that she'd like to know if they want to stick around until I get home.

I don't know if she would actually be willing to say that, but it would be fucking hilarious to see their reactions.
What if they are actually up for it?

More importantly, how will you be able to see their reactions if you're not home?

ROAR!!!!! says GOJIRA!!!!!

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2006-03-26 11:20am

Lus, I think the meaning is that he would be home, but Rebecca would be lying about his absence.

Aeolus · Post by **Aeolus** » 2006-03-26 12:30pm

Mormon boys are cute. It's fun to hit on them.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2006-03-27 09:13pm

Darth Wong wrote:If Mormons or JWs ever come back to our place, I'm going to ask Rebecca to tell them that she has a fantasy about getting gangbanged by her husband along with two other men, and that she'd like to know if they want to stick around until I get home.

I don't know if she would actually be willing to say that, but it would be fucking hilarious to see their reactions.

If she's not, perhaps instead she should tell them she has a fantasy about you banging two men, while she watches (with enthusiastic emphasis on this last point).

That'd keep her a much more distant element in the act, and more importanly: how likely do you think two religious young men are going to enter the house of a woman who wants to get them fucked up the ass?

Post by **Coyote** » 2006-03-27 09:31pm

You could always ask them, "If Jesus loves me, then how come he never just wants to cuddle?"

Or,
"My brother-in-law told me Jesus was coming, but I think he's just breathing hard."

Kojiro · Post by **Kojiro** » 2006-03-29 02:10am

Well they came back as they said they would. I had a friend here who is between homes at the moment and staying with me. She's a pagan and insisted that she'd had the exact same 'spiritual experience' they'd had but with her godess, then asked them to explain why hers was wrong and theirs was right. They still made absolutely no headway and spent the entire time defending themselves. When I brought up the flaws with the actual book they just didn't get it... They're now saying I need to come to some meeting to have it explained to me properly.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2006-03-29 02:18am

If it's so important, they can come to you. You don't have to do their work for them.

Be sure to ask them if 'understanding the book properly' involves stuffing your face into a hat.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2006-03-29 06:23am

heh, my favorite was a friend of mine in college. they knock on the door she's visably (6-7 months) pregnant, and she says that her boyfriend is away for his one week a month with the reserves and they aren't married, have no intention of getting married, get the fuck off her private property before she exercises her second amendment rights!

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-03-29 05:15pm

"Well I certainly don't need saving, but let me ask the 14-year-old girl I've got tied up in my basement."

Pezzoni · Post by **Pezzoni** » 2006-03-29 05:23pm

I want some religious dor-to-door people to play with. We never get them round here

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-03-29 05:49pm

Neither do we, but then we're also on a highway out in the boonies.

I think in the whole 50+ years my family has owned our house, we've only had them show up once about twenty years ago or something. My dad's reply to them was basically around the terms of "get off my property."

Darth Lucifer · Post by **Darth Lucifer** » 2006-03-29 06:52pm

The Charm of Making from "Excalibur" always worked for me.

Magnetic · Post by **Magnetic** » 2006-03-30 09:38am

Are there any GOOD websites dedicated to pointing out the contradictions of the LDS or the JW religions?

nickolay1 · Post by **nickolay1** » 2006-03-30 09:39am

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/BOM/index.htm

Post by **Gandalf** » 2006-03-30 09:45am

We never had the JWs come back after they caught me playing with myself. We got to the usual doorway conversation, though I had quite the boner.

Chris OFarrell · Post by **Chris OFarrell** » 2006-04-01 03:07am

Well two just came to my door, I saw them comming as they came down the path.

I opened the door, looked at them and sung "Dum dum dum dum dum!".

Then shut the door again.