Fundies say the Darnedest Things

SLAM: debunk creationism, pseudoscience, and superstitions. Discuss logic and morality.

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DPDarkPrimus
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Post by DPDarkPrimus »

wautd wrote:I lurk and submit to FSTD regulary. Always good for a laugh (or a tear)
I lost interest after my favorite haunts were shut down or I was banned (or in one case, I simply left out of frustration).

If the thing had a damn search function, I could find the quotes where I'm mentioned by name in the quote. :P
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Post by Frank Hipper »

Darth Wong wrote:Maybe someone should inform them that it was an April Fool's Day joke.
Then again, maybe someone shouldn't.

That's the sort of thing that makes me contemplate the validity of Karma.

:lol:
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Post by The Duchess of Zeon »

Exactly. I think this is the most perfect punishment for the Mess that could ever be devised: Immotalization on "Fundies say the Darnedest things".
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Post by chitoryu12 »

Well, I think I found my favorite quote from the site (Aside from the woman who says that the Bible is true because it says so. I could call myself the Messiah because, as the Messiah, I'm telling the truth).
""Well my baby boy has been difficult to potty-train. He is past the age that he should be trained and I was getting really tired of it. I would sit him in the toilet for a long time and nothing would happen. When I would put him back in diapers, he would go! And I was sick and tired of it. So I got really mad, sat him in the potty and told him he had to "go". The baby started screaming and I got the idea that it was a demon. So I commanded it to manifest and give me his name. The baby continued screaming and saying: "You can't make me, you can't make me". I insisted in the demon telling me his name, so the Holy Spirit said: "That's his name, "you can't make me". I commanded it out. The baby had deliverance and he has been potty-trained since.""
Yes, she really said that her baby couldn't be potty trained because he was possessed. Yes, the demons are now so desperate to defeat God that they are preventing potty training!
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wautd
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Post by wautd »

Found this via FSTD:

fundies on the Hindu prayer in the Senate

That whole page is an assault on human intelligence :shock:
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Post by Executor32 »

I especially like the guy who claims that the preamble of the U.S. Constitution "specifically says that among the things due to ever man in his place and proportion are 'civility and Christianity.'" What Constitution has he been reading? :roll:
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Post by PeZook »

Executor32 wrote:I especially like the guy who claims that the preamble of the U.S. Constitution "specifically says that among the things due to ever man in his place and proportion are 'civility and Christianity.'" What Constitution has he been reading? :roll:
Fundies have short attention spans and lousy memories, and thus probably never read the Constitution. Which is pathetic, seeing that this document is ridiculously short.

Or perhaps they are afraid that if they do read the Constitution, rather than getting information on it from their preacher, they will find out that no, it doesn't explicitly say "The only people allowed to live in America are white protestant Christians"
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Post by Lonestar »

*Glances at commentary of my comment*

I would say they need to get checked out if they really think people say stuff like I said, but the rest of the site seems to give lie to that statement.
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Post by DPDarkPrimus »

One of my favorite quotes was someone talking about sexual immorality, and one of the things they said was about "babies being born by mothers twice their age".

I'm pretty sure babies aren't being born that early.
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Post by Darth Wong »

PeZook wrote:
Executor32 wrote:I especially like the guy who claims that the preamble of the U.S. Constitution "specifically says that among the things due to ever man in his place and proportion are 'civility and Christianity.'" What Constitution has he been reading? :roll:
Fundies have short attention spans and lousy memories, and thus probably never read the Constitution. Which is pathetic, seeing that this document is ridiculously short.

Or perhaps they are afraid that if they do read the Constitution, rather than getting information on it from their preacher, they will find out that no, it doesn't explicitly say "The only people allowed to live in America are white protestant Christians"
Dude, almost none of them even read their own Bible. And I'm not even talking about the whole execrable boring tome; almost no fundies can even bother reading all the way through Genesis and Exodus. I am consistently amazed when I bring up things from Genesis and Exodus and fundies respond that they've never heard that before. These people claim to base their entire view of morality and epistemology on this book, and they can't even bother reading the whole goddamned introduction.
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Post by Trajanus »

Darth Wong wrote:Dude, almost none of them even read their own Bible. And I'm not even talking about the whole execrable boring tome; almost no fundies can even bother reading all the way through Genesis and Exodus. I am consistently amazed when I bring up things from Genesis and Exodus and fundies respond that they've never heard that before. These people claim to base their entire view of morality and epistemology on this book, and they can't even bother reading the whole goddamned introduction.
It's not even limited to Genesis or Exodus. It applies to the entire Bible. I was always amazed that when I brought up an embarrassing quote, fundies would always respond with denial. Then when I would show them the quote in their own version of the Bible, every single one of them responded the same way; "you're taking it out of context." Of course, they never bothered to explain how it's possible to take mass genocide out of context.
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Post by Knife »

Try it with Mormon teachings, it gets even funnier. What? Indian's aren't Jews?
They say, "the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants and patriots." I suppose it never occurred to them that they are the tyrants, not the patriots. Those weapons are not being used to fight some kind of tyranny; they are bringing them to an event where people are getting together to talk. -Mike Wong

But as far as board culture in general, I do think that young male overaggression is a contributing factor to the general atmosphere of hostility. It's not SOS and the Mess throwing hand grenades all over the forum- Red
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Post by chitoryu12 »

In the Something Awful Comedy Goldmine, they have a section for stupid remarks heard in class. One of them was a girl of Middle-Easter descent and of Islamic religion saying, shocked, "Jews can be citizens?"
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Post by chitoryu12 »

Shit. Forgot the "n" in Middle-Eastern.
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Post by wautd »

If your original Hebrew disagrees with my original King James --- your original Hebrew is wrong. If your original Hebrew agrees with my original King James, your original Hebrew is right.
:D
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Post by Darth Servo »

Trajanus wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Dude, almost none of them even read their own Bible. And I'm not even talking about the whole execrable boring tome; almost no fundies can even bother reading all the way through Genesis and Exodus. I am consistently amazed when I bring up things from Genesis and Exodus and fundies respond that they've never heard that before. These people claim to base their entire view of morality and epistemology on this book, and they can't even bother reading the whole goddamned introduction.
It's not even limited to Genesis or Exodus. It applies to the entire Bible. I was always amazed that when I brought up an embarrassing quote, fundies would always respond with denial. Then when I would show them the quote in their own version of the Bible, every single one of them responded the same way; "you're taking it out of context." Of course, they never bothered to explain how it's possible to take mass genocide out of context.
Every Fundie I've ever talked to has given me the distinct impression that they think the entire Bible is Genesis 1, Exodus 20, John 3:16 and Ephesians 2:8-9. Creationism, the 10 commandments, and saved by grace, not works.
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Post by Phantasee »

Man, I hate it when people think they don't have to do shit and still expect to be 'saved.'

Sikhism says the opposite is true: You don't do shit, God doesn't give a shit.

As far as religion goes, if it doesn't teach you that, it's pretty much useless as a tool for controlling society. At least get them to do something useful.
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