What Would Jesus Drive?

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-01-10 10:20am

And while we're at it, what did L. Ron Hubbard drive??

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-01-10 10:30am

If you're really environmentally sensitive, you should ask WWAD, or What Would the Amish Drive.

Malecoda · Post by **Malecoda** » 2003-01-10 09:54pm

Jesus would so not drive a Jag. English cars have electrics made by Lucas, the Prince of Darkness.

Jesus Christ · Post by **Jesus Christ** » 2003-01-10 10:18pm

Malecoda wrote:Jesus would so not drive a Jag. English cars have electrics made by Lucas, the Prince of Darkness.

I did not know that Ozzy Osbourne was building car electrics, and if you refer to Satan, so what? we are drinking buddys all that stuff about him being evil is BS propaganda from dad. Actually myself and the arch-angels have been concidering a 'home' for dad, as he seems to have gone slightly soft in the head, you know, the genocide and all.....
Besides the difficultis with english cars is just piss poor quality control and a slack workforce, and grotty management.

EmperorChrostas the Cruel · Post by **EmperorChrostas the Cruel** » 2003-01-10 10:38pm

Jesus would drive a Camelac, El Dorado.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-01-11 02:46am

Nah, he'd drive an old Pinto. He rode into Jerusalem on the backs of a horse and an ass. What other car would fit that description?

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2003-01-11 03:31am

I was told that Jesus drove the money changers from the temple.

(somebody had to say it)

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-01-11 04:28am

The Dark wrote:Nah, he'd drive an old Pinto. He rode into Jerusalem on the backs of a horse and an ass. What other car would fit that description?

No, that's the Anti-Christ who drives that!! It is foretold that the Ford Pinto is the sign of the apocalypse!!

Malecoda · Post by **Malecoda** » 2003-01-11 07:55pm

Well, Jesus, since you had to get all literal and ruin my, uh, "joke", let me, if I may, say this:

0. You exist in name only, but supposing you are real, then

1. As the archdemon of the Malabranche, I can tell you that you are wrong: Satan is still being punished for his rebellion, he is alive and doing as well as one can be frozen in place and forced to gnaw on Judas Iscariot for all eternity, thus I still have a job, and

2. Lucas is (or was, I can't see the present on Earth) the English equivalent to GE, yet none of their stuff works--windshield wiper motors, lighting equipment, etc. Hence the moniker Prince of Darkness. This is why Englishmen prefer their beer warm; Lucas makes their refigerators. Finally,

3. Ford owns Jaguar now. I was ignoring that for the sake of the quick, cheap zinger.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-01-11 07:57pm

Raxmei wrote:I was told that Jesus drove the money changers from the temple.

(somebody had to say it)

ROFLMAO. I may need to add that to my list of things to keep for when I start preaching.

Malecoda · Post by **Malecoda** » 2003-01-11 08:00pm

Now, on to the important stuff: what would Jesus drink?

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-01-11 08:03pm

Malecoda wrote:Now, on to the important stuff: what would Jesus drink?

Southern Cross Wheat Beer.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-01-11 08:05pm

No way. I remember once reading a passage in the Bible that said something like "...and they traveled in one accord." Jesus would drive a Honda Accord. It's in the Bible!

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-01-11 08:11pm

I always thought WWJD stood for We Want Jack Daniels.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-01-11 08:27pm

The question isn't "what would Jesus do?", or even "what would Jesus drive?". It's "who would Jesus do?"

Malecoda · Post by **Malecoda** » 2003-01-11 09:26pm

I say:

Escalade
Pappy van Winkle
Anna Kournikova

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-01-12 03:27am

Wicked, I could have sworn that I invented that one.

One True Spoon · Post by **One True Spoon** » 2003-01-12 03:34am

I thought that Jesus rode a donkey on palm sunday, but beastiality is a bit suspect nowadays.