A "Calling"

[Lord Poe]

Someone close to me used to be heavily involved in the Christian music industry in the early 90's. She got out of it because she was disillusioned by many things she encountered during that time. One thing she said, was she expected such things from "secular" groups and industry people, but not from felloe Christians.

Anyway, she's been out of the industry for nearly 10 years, working restaurant jobs. She tells me great stories of the good times she had in her former job, planning in-store appearances by bands, helping with tours, doing small but memorable things like "care packages" with cookies and coloring books in them! Radio promos, the works.

Many in the industry, to this DAY, still call her, wanting her back. What frustrates me, is that she'd rather work in a restraunt, getting no respect, and doesn't want to go back to something where she IS respected. She said she "had a calling" to do it back then, but doesn't feel that way now.

I told her she CAN'T have a calling to work at a restraunt! She's letting the bad weigh out over all the GOOD times she had. I told her she gets no respect or love where she is now. She turned it on me, and mentioned MY crap job. But I pointed out no one's calling me from 10 years ago with a BETTER offer!

I don't know. Am I being unreasonably pushy?

[The Dark]

If she would be psychologically uncomfortable in the job, it would not be good for her to take it. It's more important that she be happy where she is than that she be respected by the people who she works for (as long as she doesn't mind that, of course).

[TrailerParkJawa]

It is not pushy to want a friend or relative to have a better job, however if she is absolutely not interested in returning to a former career, you should let the matter drop.

[Sir Sirius]

Christian music industry?

Sounds rather nefarious...I'd advice her to stay away from those people at all cost.

[Stormbringer]

Let her be. She's made her choice and that's all there is to it. If she really wanted to go back then she could but she hasn't.

[Lagmonster]

I told her she CAN'T have a calling to work at a restraunt! She's letting the bad weigh out over all the GOOD times she had. I told her she gets no respect or love where she is now. She turned it on me, and mentioned MY crap job. But I pointed out no one's calling me from 10 years ago with a BETTER offer!

I don't know. Am I being unreasonably pushy?

My opinion, Poe, is that, well...you ARE being pushy. If she's at least satisfied that she's making an 'honest living' then the fact that she's unhappy or disrespected might not matter to her.

That said, don't let her turn the subject round on you. Remind her that you're not talking about your job, you're talking about hers. Solve one problem at a time, unless she requires you to be her role model. Mentioning that helps re-focus the argument.

It's probably possible to get her to seriously consider the position with the music industry. The best way would be to try to get her to accept an interview with an employer. She could go in, talk about the job, and see if the 'new bloods' can satisfy her complaints with her former work. Then, if she's still not convinced, she can still say no. Remind her that she has nothing to lose, and at least, she'll be able to make an informed decision about her future, rather than dismissing it out of hand because of her past. Often people are uncomfortable with 'what ifs' and if she goes to a simple interview she won't have to wonder if the industry could be better for her now.

[Lord Poe]

Thanks, one and all, for your opinions. It really did help.

My opinion, Poe, is that, well...you ARE being pushy. If she's at least satisfied that she's making an 'honest living' then the fact that she's unhappy or disrespected might not matter to her.

That does seem to be true, yes.

That said, don't let her turn the subject round on you. Remind her that you're not talking about your job, you're talking about hers. Solve one problem at a time, unless she requires you to be her role model. Mentioning that helps re-focus the argument.

Unfortunately, I'm not much of a role model. She constantly has to tell me to stop being so hard on MYSELF.

It's probably possible to get her to seriously consider the position with the music industry. The best way would be to try to get her to accept an interview with an employer. She could go in, talk about the job, and see if the 'new bloods' can satisfy her complaints with her former work. Then, if she's still not convinced, she can still say no. Remind her that she has nothing to lose, and at least, she'll be able to make an informed decision about her future, rather than dismissing it out of hand because of her past. Often people are uncomfortable with 'what ifs' and if she goes to a simple interview she won't have to wonder if the industry could be better for her now.

I've told her all the above. She conceded that if there was a band she could believe in, she'd concentrate on one band. She's even begun to put out feelers to people she hasn't spoken to in quite a while. I'm not Christian, or religious in any way, so when she talks about Christian bands having to have a "ministry" to what they do, it goes over my head.

I get the general idea, I guess I just can't relate to it.

[Lagmonster]

She conceded that if there was a band she could believe in, she'd concentrate on one band. She's even begun to put out feelers to people she hasn't spoken to in quite a while. I'm not Christian, or religious in any way, so when she talks about Christian bands having to have a "ministry" to what they do, it goes over my head.

I think I get it...I don't know her, but many people whose career is part of a religion need different reasons to stay in that field than most people. Most people just need to be happy and make good money to keep a job. I get the feeling that those working in 'faith-linked-jobs' need various levels of religion-oriented psychological reassurance to do what they do.

In short, that sucks. I'd hate to have an overwhelming urge that some nebulous psychological principals were forcing me to some third-world hole to save the souls of the bushmen or something like that.