The Ultimat Fundie Horror.

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2003-03-31 02:23pm

Yeah, and if you have ever touched your winky, you get to be executed.

Oh wait, that makes up roughly 99.99 percent of the population of the planet. Genocide anyone?

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-03-31 02:41pm

Darth Wong wrote:
neoolong wrote:Homosexuality is a capital offense. Right.

Too bad it actually doesn't say that in the Bible.
Yes it does.
Leviticus 20:13

"If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death."
This is why Old Testament laws are unacceptable.

Assuming that they are no where near as perverted as somewhere around half the board, that would be physically impossible. Assuming they are as perverted as half the board, and thought about it that way, then they should be stoned.

Works out quite well.

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-03-31 04:57pm

Okay....so....lets see....do we actually have enough rocks in the solar system for the sheer magnitude of stoning that this would call for?

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-31 05:29pm

Singular Quartet wrote: Assuming that they are no where near as perverted as somewhere around half the board, that would be physically impossible. Assuming they are as perverted as half the board, and thought about it that way, then they should be stoned.

Works out quite well.

I don't get what you're trying to say here.

Arrow · Post by **Arrow** » 2003-03-31 05:32pm

Where's a large asteroid when you need one?

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2003-03-31 06:53pm

Stones for everyone!

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-03-31 07:42pm

Hm, so this means the bible say....everyone should get stoned......this is an intresting revelation......

Queeb Salaron · Post by **Queeb Salaron** » 2003-03-31 08:02pm

Keevan_Colton wrote:Hm, so this means the bible say....everyone should get stoned......this is an intresting revelation......

Christians again confirming what we've known for so long: There is truely only ONE way to find Jesus.

"Everybody must get stoned! Whoo!" Bob Dylan, "Rainy Day Women no. 12 and 35

"I get so high that I trip with Jesus," (I forget which band that was. The album was "Education in Rebellion". Someone help me out here.)

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2003-03-31 08:30pm

If those fundies want stoning so much, then they shall be the first to be stoned!

No, damn it! Not with drugs! With stones! With STONES!

*Sigh*.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-03-31 09:02pm

To quote the advert for 'Life of Brian'...

Back then, getting stoned wasn't against the law...
...it was the law.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2003-03-31 09:57pm

Darth Wong wrote:
neoolong wrote:Homosexuality is a capital offense. Right.

Too bad it actually doesn't say that in the Bible.
Yes it does.
Leviticus 20:13

"If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death."
This is why Old Testament laws are unacceptable.

But a man cannot lieth with a man like a man lieth with a women, because then the man would have to not have the genatalia of a man, but rather the genatalia of a woman, and then he would be ...

...

... :puke:

Sick bible writers, sick bible writers

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-31 11:09pm

6. We do not want to return to Old Testament Law in its entirety.

I'm sure when they said that, they were saying "We want to keep the good parts out. None of that "love thy neighbor" crap here".

And also, I believe there was a time where something like he was proposing in history: It was called the Dark Ages.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-03-31 11:17pm

sauren is a freind from school, meg is my sis.

Enforcer Talen says:
hehehe, meg was so funny
Enforcer Talen says:
me: jesus said all the old bible rules apply right?
Enforcer Talen says:
meg: yep
Sauren, Rogue of the Shadow Weaver says:
ok
Enforcer Talen says:
me: and intent equals the same as indeed, like for adultery, yeah?
Sauren, Rogue of the Shadow Weaver says:
was this just now?
Enforcer Talen says:
meg: yep
Enforcer Talen says:
after school
Sauren, Rogue of the Shadow Weaver says:
did you mention the food restrictions?
Enforcer Talen says:
nah, but I had nearly as much fun
Sauren, Rogue of the Shadow Weaver says:
do continue, then
Enforcer Talen says:
me: and for aguing with parents, thats wrong, correct?
Enforcer Talen says:
meg: yep
Enforcer Talen says:
me: and for worshipping other then god, or being an atheist?
Enforcer Talen says:
meg: yep
Enforcer Talen says:
me: and adultery is wrong too, right?
Enforcer Talen says:
meg: yep
Enforcer Talen says:
me: and intent is the same as deed, so if you think about it, your guilty of it
Enforcer Talen says:
meg: yep
Enforcer Talen says:
me: you remember the penalty for these things?
Enforcer Talen says:
meg: . . .death
Enforcer Talen says:
me, cheerfully: by stoning
Enforcer Talen says:
me: now how much of lexington you think would survive?
Enforcer Talen says:
me: just think of the all the bodies piled up!
Enforcer Talen says:
me to mom: meg says jesus supports stoning

Queeb Salaron · Post by **Queeb Salaron** » 2003-03-31 11:27pm

Umm... Jesus didn't support stoning, technically... at least not while he walked among the living. He just kind of preached all the GOOD parts of God's word and amended the harsh punishments (hence no more pillars of salt. Which is too bad, if you ask me).

But the Christians say that Jesus IS God, so Jesus's word is God's word. Conversely (I think? Which logical reversal is this?) God's word must be Jesus's word. And the people who wrote the Old Testament were writing God's word. And God advocated stoning. So if God advocated stoning, then Jesus (God) should have advocated stoning. But the Jesus version of God didn't. In a sense, God contradicted himself, didn't he?

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-01 12:53am

god changed in mind? horrors. what if he did it again? no more salvation for you.

Hobot · Post by **Hobot** » 2003-04-01 01:55pm

The fundies grossly misinterpret the Bible. See: http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_bibl.htm

Queeb Salaron · Post by **Queeb Salaron** » 2003-04-01 04:32pm

You know, I find it hilarious that everyone claims that fundies misinterpret the bible and we all got it right. I mean, it's TRUE, but it's funny. Here are these people who dedicate their entire lives to this book, and they're taking it WAAAAY out of context and making the biggest moral blunder imaginable: Applying the morals of another culture to our own and demanding we follow. You'd think that one of these damned fundies would wise up a bit and revolutionize all of Fundiekind by saying, "Hey guys! We fucked up!"