God's Finally Taking Credit for His Work

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

Bah. I should be elected God. I have lots of qualifications!

And my Commandments will be simple.

1) Don't do harm to others.
2) When in doubt, refer to 1.
3) I'm not kidding around here, don't do harm to others.
4) Yes, Libel, Slander, and Economic Ruin count as harm.
5) You in the back, pay attention. There will be a test.
6) Love each other. Especially if the other is a person you're romantically/sexually attracted to.
7) Fine, fine, you can have one night stands, but it's your fault if you get caught.
Remember Commandment Number 1!
9) I am so not kidding here.
10) Oh yea, keep Sunday holy and don't work. Spend time with your family, make a sand castle or snowman, do something fun.

Too. complicated...

I'll make my own set of commandments, and everyone will understand them!

The Fie Commandements (In no particular oder)

1. Anal sex for everyone!
2. Hey kids! You know those little green pieces of paper in your parents' wallets? Send them to me, your new god!
3. Thou shall not kill
4. Thou shall not be stupid and/or irrational. That means you, Kim Dong Small!
5. Practice safe sex: For normal people, that means wear a condom or something like that. For white supremacists, brand the donkeys that kick for this requirement.

[Yuri Prime]

What if we voted Thor in to take his place? Thor, now there's a god. Cool hat, big hammer. Not quite as hyped up as Zeus, but pretty much the same coolness factor.

[Darth Gojira]

What if we voted Thor in to take his place? Thor, now there's a god. Cool hat, big hammer. Not quite as hyped up as Zeus, but pretty much the same coolness factor.

"Pass the mead, mortals, lest thou shalt get thy bones turned into a pulp"

[Alyrium Denryle]

My commandments

1) Think before you act
2) Work thngs out rationally
3) Cause no harm to fellow sentients, yes libel slander and economic ruin are harm
4) Hate individuals, not groups
5) Use a little thing called contraception
6) Always seek knowledge
7) Never stop questioning
Work to speed up social change
9) Leave a positive legacy
10) Refer to # 1