God and Balance (a joke)

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jegs2
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God and Balance (a joke)

Post by jegs2 »

Okay, got this from a fellow Christian biker who lives in Olympia, WA. Olympia is full of liberals, lefties and outright whackos, so keep that in mind when reading the following joke (hint: if you're from Olympia, you may not want to read it :) )...

Once upon a time, God was missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downward through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?"Inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth . .. . "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God.. "That's Washington State the most glorious place on earth.

There are beautiful streams, hills, forests, mountains, ocean shores, wheat fields, orchards, vineyards and arid landscapes .... The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"

God smiled, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in Olympia."
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Post by LadyTevar »

In the version I heard, West Virignia was the one with all the good things...

And the balance was the idjits in Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Kentucky!

:lol:
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Post by Arrow »

I've seen the Florida version.
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Post by Xenophobe3691 »

Arrow Mk84 wrote:I've seen the Florida version.
Yep. Worst part is, it's true :?
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Post by Sindai »

The beauty of that one is that you just have to switch the two locations and it works anywhere in the world. :D
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Post by Xenophobe3691 »

Sindai wrote:The beauty of that one is that you just have to switch the two locations and it works anywhere in the world. :D
Really says something about Humanity in general, doesn't it?
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Post by Arrow »

Vorlon1701 wrote:
Arrow Mk84 wrote:I've seen the Florida version.
Yep. Worst part is, it's true :?
I know. I have several (demented/insane) relatives that live down there. And then there are the drivers...
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Post by Tasoth »

LadyTevar wrote:In the version I heard, West Virignia was the one with all the good things...

And the balance was the idjits in Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Kentucky!

:lol:
*just glowers*
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Post by Crazy Goji »

I've heard the one about Louisiana. We are supposedly perfect except that we are neighbors to Texas.
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Post by Gil Hamilton »

LadyTevar wrote:In the version I heard, West Virignia was the one with all the good things...

And the balance was the idjits in Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Kentucky!

:lol:
What the heck are you talking about? West Virginia is to balance out Pennsylvannia's majesty. :)
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Post by Tasoth »

Gil Hamilton wrote:What the heck are you talking about? West Virginia is to balance out Pennsylvannia's majesty. :)
Yes it is. I'd also like to point out my high scholl's football team is no.3 in the US Although the band is much more important.....
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Post by Wicked Pilot »

Well, I've visited Seattle twice now, and have driven through Olympia before. I must say I really love Seattle and the surrounding cities. It's the home of Boeing, Starbucks, and Nirvana. How can it get any better?
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Post by victorhadin »

There are at least 4 or 5 different versions of that with the English as the bad guys. :D
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Post by Robert Treder »

But Olympia is in Washington state. The balance is all off.
And you may ask yourself, 'Where does that highway go to?'

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Post by LadyTevar »

Tasoth wrote:
Gil Hamilton wrote:What the heck are you talking about? West Virginia is to balance out Pennsylvannia's majesty. :)
Yes it is. I'd also like to point out my high scholl's football team is no.3 in the US Although the band is much more important.....
Oh? And how many of them are looking at WVU for their college? :lol:

Besides, I've been to Pennsylvania. You guys have No Mountains. Period.
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Post by Gil Hamilton »

LadyTevar wrote:Oh? And how many of them are looking at WVU for their college? :lol:

Besides, I've been to Pennsylvania. You guys have No Mountains. Period.
Have you been to the middle and north of Pennsylvannia? :?
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Post by LadyTevar »

Gil Hamilton wrote:
LadyTevar wrote:Oh? And how many of them are looking at WVU for their college? :lol:

Besides, I've been to Pennsylvania. You guys have No Mountains. Period.
Have you been to the middle and north of Pennsylvannia? :?
As I said... You have no Mountains. :lol:
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Post by Tasoth »

We have mountains It's just they're so old they've been reduced to hills
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Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

In the version I heard, America was supposed to balance out Canada's greatness.

And, Pennsylvania may have mountains relative to Florida, Kansas, or Nebraska, but compared to everything west of Nebraska, Pennsylvania has no mountains
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Post by Darth Wong »

It's a funny joke the first time you hear it, but it suffers from a generic nature. You really can plug in any two neighbouring regions anywhere in the world and it works just fine.
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Post by Howedar »

Gil Hamilton wrote:
LadyTevar wrote:Oh? And how many of them are looking at WVU for their college? :lol:

Besides, I've been to Pennsylvania. You guys have No Mountains. Period.
Have you been to the middle and north of Pennsylvannia? :?
Have you been west of the Great Plains?
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Post by LadyTevar »

Howedar wrote:
Gil Hamilton wrote:
LadyTevar wrote:Oh? And how many of them are looking at WVU for their college? :lol:

Besides, I've been to Pennsylvania. You guys have No Mountains. Period.
Have you been to the middle and north of Pennsylvannia? :?
Have you been west of the Great Plains?
Bah.. those Rockie mountains are young'uns... so's the Himalayans. Come back in a million years and see how good they look. :P

The Appalachians used to be as taller than the Rockies, but since they're one of the oldest mountain chains, formed before Great Britain and Northern Europe split from North America/Canada, they've kinda slumped a little over the centuries. :D
Kinda like an old woman's ..... welll..... :twisted:
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Post by NapoleonGH »

LadyTevar wrote:In the version I heard, West Virignia was the one with all the good things...

And the balance was the idjits in Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Kentucky!

:lol:
that is hillarious considering the fact that west virginia is commonly known as the most backward, most filled with lunatic vigilante us constitution is illegal people, of all the states in the union, at least that is the stereotype
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