Insults (Again)

[Tom_Aurum]

Now, I've been having a really frustrating couple of weeks around here because of the state of things around here, and realized the problem with the area I just moved into. Everybody is too friggin' polite! Nobody has the balls to just up and insult someone, and I know that a few well placed insults could modify my situation greatly. For the better. The question here is: What sort of insult do you think it takes to actually modify someone's behaviour for the better?
What have you found to be that thing that actually shocks someone into being a truly better person? I've done it successfully myself a couple of times. Once I remember was when writing a girl a poison-pen letter honestly enough made her actually bother to take her next relationship seriously.
So the question is, how do <you> insult someone and actually accomplish that particular "goal". That being to actually force them, from either shock or disgust, to look at things from a balanced perspective? What are the principles behind that sort of thing?

[Dark Primus]

Now, I've been having a really frustrating couple of weeks around here because of the state of things around here, and realized the problem with the area I just moved into. Everybody is too friggin' polite!

What's wrong with people being polite?

Nobody has the balls to just up and insult someone, and I know that a few well placed insults could modify my situation greatly.

Could you explain to me why people should just insult each other for no other reason so that you would feel better? I don't get it.

For the better. The question here is: What sort of insult do you think it takes to actually modify someone's behaviour for the better?

You think changing peoples behavior from being polite and possibly being good neighbors to people who swears and insult others etc would be better?

What have you found to be that thing that actually shocks someone into being a truly better person?

You are a very strange guy, from my perspective.

I've done it successfully myself a couple of times. Once I remember was when writing a girl a poison-pen letter honestly enough made her actually bother to take her next relationship seriously.

Honest I don't know what I should say to this. But I don't see any positive in that.

So the question is, how do <you> insult someone and actually accomplish that particular "goal". That being to actually force them, from either shock or disgust, to look at things from a balanced perspective? What are the principles behind that sort of thing?

I have never done that, insulting people and forcing them to act out of fear is not my thing.

[Darth Wong]

Now, I've been having a really frustrating couple of weeks around here because of the state of things around here, and realized the problem with the area I just moved into. Everybody is too friggin' polite!

What's wrong with people being polite?

If someone is being an asshole, politeness merely lets him get away with it.

Could you explain to me why people should just insult each other for no other reason so that you would feel better? I don't get it.

Could you explain to me while you felt compelled to distort what he was saying in this holier-than-thou manner? At no point did he state that the sole purpose of insulting someone was to make himself feel better. There are times when an insult is warranted.

<snip more self-righteousness>

I have never done that, insulting people and forcing them to act out of fear is not my thing.

Excellent. I'll find all the most inconsiderate people I know, send them your way so they can butt in line in front of you, barge through the express line at the supermarket with 500 items in the cart, cut you off in traffic, and make fun of your mother because you would never insult someone. After all, it's not your thing.

[Illuminatus Primus]

Now, I've been having a really frustrating couple of weeks around here because of the state of things around here, and realized the problem with the area I just moved into. Everybody is too friggin' polite!

What's wrong with people being polite?

If someone is being an asshole, politeness merely lets him get away with it.

I've said this a thousand times. If you're artificially nice and patronizing to an asshole, moron, or incompetant loser, you're only making it easier for them to avoid changing. The whole point of bad and good attitudes is bad ones are unattractive and thus discouraged. Don't hurt mimetic Darwinism, support it! Accountability is important. Needless cruelty however, is not.

[Tom_Aurum]

Anyways, onto the meat of the discusssion here, instead of being derailed, could someone share the details of the more "useful" insults that they've thrown? And what do you think would be the salient qualities of said insults?

[SpacedTeddyBear]

Sometimes it is hard to insult someone that would cause the person to change the person's behavior for the better, because either their wall of ignorance is so thick, nothing gets through. Or they take it too seriously and you inadvertantly make that person worse.

[Brother-Captain Gaius]

Anyways, onto the meat of the discusssion here, instead of being derailed, could someone share the details of the more "useful" insults that they've thrown? And what do you think would be the salient qualities of said insults?

For such an effect you need a very vicious, cold insult, IMO.

Hot-headed "Fuck you!"s and the like merely make the situation worse, if anything. You need something with a very solid basis in established fact. It can be a little underhanded at times, but it works in my experience. I also find its better to remain relatively calm, like I said, cold. Don't know how to elaborate much more, I hope that helps.

[Xenophobe3691]

I hate this shit. I try my hardest to be polite and decent to everyone, and then see a shit post like this. I don't give a shit if you insult my religion, I don't give a shit anymore if you gripe about my skin color. But I have NEVER been able to tolerate people insulting me for being polite. I don't understand why people want to be treated like shit?!?

About Insults, I find that they're usually tailored to the person, to make them that much more devastating.

[Sriad]

What's wrong with people being polite?

If someone is being an asshole, politeness merely lets him get away with it.

I've said this a thousand times. If you're artificially nice and patronizing to an asshole, moron, or incompetant loser, you're only making it easier for them to avoid changing. The whole point of bad and good attitudes is bad ones are unattractive and thus discouraged. Don't hurt mimetic Darwinism, support it! Accountability is important. Needless cruelty however, is not.

On the other hand it's possible, with a little effort and ingenuity, to be so painfully sweet that if registers as acidity. Anyway here's an amusing couple quote from a friend's livejournal (who is in much the same place as you) for you:
"Today at work a lady asked me how the weather was up where I was. I almost told her I thought it was going to snow, because I just heard word from a flake.
[...]
On the subject, there is a woman that I work with that does not like me at all just because I am so tall and she isn't. She will specifically request me to do tedious tasks for her. Also, if there is anything on the top shelf that she needs worked on, I am the one that has to do it. The next time I drop something on the ground that needs to be picked up, and she is around, I am going to ask her to pick it up for me because I am too tall."

[Robert Treder]

What city is this where people are too polite?

Oh, and I've never insulted someone with the intention of changing their station in life, but let me see if I can help you anyways. Here are my tips on insulting:

Rule no. 1) Take advantage of Shock Value. Synonyms of "vagina" usually work the best to add the most shocking punch in the smallest space. Granted, I don't condone or practice misogyny, but don't worry; you usually don't come off as a misogynist (much). Words to use: cunt, cooze, snatch, cooter, cunny, beaver, pussy, etc.
Examples of the vaginal shock value being put to good use: "You blood-belching vagina!" - Eric Cartman, Southpark
"Fecking cunt!" - Various British people

Rule no. 2) Yo momma. People, stupid people especially, are notoriously protective of their mother's honor. It is your duty as an insulter to impugn this honor. Note that because many jokes about your opponent's mother are fucking hilarious, this can be a good opportunity to turn an argument into a friendly bonding (one of my favorite tactics). Sun Tzu would be proud of how efficiently a nice round of jokes can metamorphose a fight into a round of laughter.
Be ever wary, however, that those who take their mother's honor very seriously will not fall for the peace offering. I've run into people who indignantly ask of me, "WHAT'D YOU SAY 'BOUT MY MOMMA?!" just because I called them a 'sonofabitch'. Remember, 'sonofabitch' technically is insulting your opponent's mother.
TIP: the momma insult is actually one of the easiest insults to shrug off, but few people seem to realize this. The reason it's so easy to defeat is that it's directed towards someone who isn't even in the argument. If someone attacks you with a momma insult, here are some tactics: a) Point out their error; "Who cares about my mom, you stupid son of a bitch?" This is admittedly the weakest of the counter-momma tactics, but it still works. b) Pretend you hate your mom; "You're right, she is a dumb bitch. You two've got a lot in common, you stupid son of a bitch." If you don't use this as an opportunity to riposte, you can be seen as acquiescing. c) If the initial attack was in the form of "that's not what your mom said last night," simply point out that they're bragging about sleeping with an old woman; "Ew, you would like fucking an old woman, you stupid son of a bitch!" This one is unbeatable, unless your opponent invokes rule number 6. d) Pretend that your mom is dead; "That's not funny, man, my mom's dead." This one is effective if your goal is to defuse the argument or to make a friend out of the opponent (you can then reveal the joke and have a good laugh).

Rule no. 3) Threats. Threats should be vivid and imaginitive. Think of Moe's responses to Bart's prank calls for inspiration.
The threat should be so convoluted and imaginitve that the opponent doesn't ever realize that it's technically a threat. This way, they have the subconscious effects of being threatened, but they don't act on it and initiate fisticuffs.
Example: "I'm going to cut off your cock and feed it to you backwards stuffed with razorblades, so that your dying screams will be muffled by a throatful of your own blood. And cock."
Ok, so maybe that one was a little too vicious, but you get the picture.

Rule no. 4) Be abrupt and ferocious. You must buy your own insult, and to do so, you've got to really sell it. The best way to achieve this is by being abrupt and ferocious (at key points). Obviously, you want to be verbose and loquacious when it comes to your threats, but the meat of your insults should be sharpened to a point. This is so that even if your opponent can't remember most of your insults, he will remember the part that counts. It'll sound to him like this: "BlahblahblahblahblahBAM!" Or something like that.
To achieve this, maintain a healthy portion of simple insults. For example, "you stupid son of a bitch" can be absolutely amazingly ferocious if delivered properly. I like to slap it on to the end of a lot of things. The key is in emphasizing the "bitch" the most, I think.

Rule no. 5) Plagiarism is your friend. You've already learned this rule if you've ever attended high school or college, but now it's time to learn a different application of it. Study sources of good insults, and take what you like. Always keep in mind where they came from, though, because you might not want to come off as being unimaginative. To avoid this, size up your opponent and decide whether or not he'd be familiar with the source of your insult. For instance, if you're sure your opponent's never seen Full Metal Jacket, then have a fucking field day.
It's also always a good idea to modify the insults to make them your own, just in case. Proceed about this in the same manner you would if you heard a joke that you really wanted to reuse.

Rule no. 6) The Crazy tactic. At any time during your argument, you can back out by playing crazy. This is a sure win, but it's pretty cheap. It's very effective if you don't really hate your opponent, but are just fucking with them, or your goal is to befriend them.
A crazy thing to say: "I abduct children from supermarkets, and I insert the barrel of my Desert Eagle into their anuses, trying to avoid anal tear as much as possible, before pulling the trigger and ending their horrible lives."
A crazy twist on the threat: "I will eat your teeth, like a duck!"
A crazy counter to "You would want to fuck my mom!": "The older the better! I prefer my pussy 'well done.' What I like even better than old women is dead women!"
I find that these somehow sound better when delivered with a slight German accent. Feel around and see what works for you.
I don't really recommend this tactic, but if you've no other choice, it's good to know it's there.

Above all else, practice, practice, practice!

[Darth Wong]

I was polite to my in-laws for several years, tolerating their constant abuse and baseless, racially motivated accusations of wrongdoing (made from hundreds of kilometres away, about events they did not witness but were absolutely sure were happening because Oriental men are known to mistreat their wives ) because I didn't want to hurt Rebecca.

When Rebecca finally got fed up with their behaviour and gave me the green light, I did not do anything fancy. I told them that I've had enough, they've been complete assholes, and I don't want to ever hear from them again. I forbid them to ever have contact with us again for the rest of our lives, and finished with a big FUCK YOU over the phone. Then I blocked their phone number so they couldn't call any more.

It wasn't too long before they used a third-party to contact us and beg for an opportunity to come and apologize to me for their conduct. So you see, harsh words can sometimes be useful

[Tom_Aurum]

What city is this where people are too polite?

Read my profile line. It actually is the (semi) official title for the city I live in. It's even posted on a couple of the walls in town. It shouldn't be <too> hard to look up on the net. Everyone here is a net freak and has their own live journals, so they probably put up the mural <somewhere>.

[Robert Treder]

So you're in northern Washington state?

[Tom_Aurum]

I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a large army of penguins massing next door.

[j1j2j3]

Not sure this is relevant but this is what I do when I come across assholes disguised in politeness.

I do it right back : I keep a polite apearance on the outside and try to annoy them as much as possible.

[Gambler]

I hate this shit. I try my hardest to be polite and decent to everyone, and then see a shit post like this. I don't give a shit if you insult my religion, I don't give a shit anymore if you gripe about my skin color. But I have NEVER been able to tolerate people insulting me for being polite. I don't understand why people want to be treated like shit?!?

About Insults, I find that they're usually tailored to the person, to make them that much more devastating.

Do you have such a thick skull that you don't get the topic at hand?
No one insulted people for being polite in a normal way, what bothers most of us are the false polite people, someone doesn't need to use curse words to insult you. They can remain polite in their speaking and attitude but be insulting in the ideas they are spouting. For example a neonazi speaking in a polite manner but at the same time saying something like: blacks and jews are an inferior race. Or a fundi moron telling you in a polite manner that interracial dating or homosexuality is wrong.
Now Tom_Aurum asked for insults you can throw at people who speak in such a manner, such insults that actualy move them to turn on their brain and start thinking for themselves. So he wasn't asking for something like "what is the most derogatory insult you can throw to a fundie" but for constructive insults that help change the other person in a good direction.
Now after explaining this, I ask you if you still think this thread is wrong and worthless.

Edit: fucking typos