That's why I started my own bible (in Off-Topic). One of my Ten Commandments will be, "Thou Shalt Not Wank (on any day not ending in "y")."HemlockGrey wrote:Wait. Just read the porno cartoon.
I don't get it. Why just look at it? Don't you need to be wanking, too? Further, I don't see a commandment in the Bible against wanking...
Repugnant Chick-like organization
Moderator: Alyrium Denryle
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Right. Now. The evolution comic book. Let's deal with that. But first:
Oh dear Lord, my eyes are strangling my brain. It hurts badly.
1) Oh, joy. That 'only a theory' shit. Well, gravity is 'only a theory'. I think we all knew that.
2) Oh, wow! Clam fossils look like modern clams! Of course, let's forget all the other species that have changed, like birds, or lizards, or mammals, and harp on this one fact! Gee, I guess it didn't occur to them that, maybe, the clam shell shape didn't change because it WORKED?
3) So the potassium-argon dating was off. This is why evolutionists test materials several times.
4) So a shell from a living mollusk had been dead for three thousand years? Wow, I didn't know shells were alive.
5) And WHY would the pressure from oil dissipate?
6) It takes millions of years to produce oil naturally. Stupid hatfuckes.
Arg. I can't go on. My brain hurts. Badly.
Oh dear Lord, my eyes are strangling my brain. It hurts badly.
1) Oh, joy. That 'only a theory' shit. Well, gravity is 'only a theory'. I think we all knew that.
2) Oh, wow! Clam fossils look like modern clams! Of course, let's forget all the other species that have changed, like birds, or lizards, or mammals, and harp on this one fact! Gee, I guess it didn't occur to them that, maybe, the clam shell shape didn't change because it WORKED?
3) So the potassium-argon dating was off. This is why evolutionists test materials several times.
4) So a shell from a living mollusk had been dead for three thousand years? Wow, I didn't know shells were alive.
5) And WHY would the pressure from oil dissipate?
6) It takes millions of years to produce oil naturally. Stupid hatfuckes.
Arg. I can't go on. My brain hurts. Badly.
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
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Ran across this months ago. I love how their NT is not only called" The Truth for Youth" but also has thet stirring red, white, and blue typeface. Something I don't often hear mentioned very often in mockery of fundies is how they combine christian supremecy with rabid nationalism.
Life is all the eternity you get, use it wisely.
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*Raises his hands and creates a Hadoken* Woohoo! I've been wanting to do this for awhile, damn radicals. So who do we slaughter first?HemlockGrey wrote:I believe it is my moderate Christian duty to dispense with the following.
CRUUUUSAAADE!!!
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I remember sending that to Mike a while ago..His response was something along the lines of "Jesus Christ, those people are stupid.."
There is no God.
But it does not matter.
Man is enough.
Edna St. Vincent Milay, Conversation at Midnight
There will never be a resolution in the evolution vs creationism debate because neither side can conclusively prove that they are right. The creationists can't prove that they're right becuase they're not, and the evolutionists can't prove that they're right because the creationists are too damn stupid to listen.
HemlockGrey
But it does not matter.
Man is enough.
Edna St. Vincent Milay, Conversation at Midnight
There will never be a resolution in the evolution vs creationism debate because neither side can conclusively prove that they are right. The creationists can't prove that they're right becuase they're not, and the evolutionists can't prove that they're right because the creationists are too damn stupid to listen.
HemlockGrey
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Probably with email from likeminded morons.Mr Flibble wrote:I tried to email them, but their inbox is full.
It's not my place in life to make people happy. Don't talk to me unless you're prepared to watch me slaughter cows you hold sacred. Don't talk to me unless you're prepared to have your basic assumptions challenged. If you want bunnies in light, talk to someone else.
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38:8 And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.HemlockGrey wrote:Wait. Just read the porno cartoon.
I don't get it. Why just look at it? Don't you need to be wanking, too? Further, I don't see a commandment in the Bible against wanking...
38:9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
38:10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.
-- Genesis 38:8-10.
Spilling your seed on the ground is a sin worthy of capital punishment according to Yahveh.
Yeah, I know, the passages doesn't make much sense, but it has been used by fundies on several occasions to condemn of both masturbation and birth control.
- The Dark
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Hey, wait, you're a UM too? I thought I was the only one around here.Captain_Cyran wrote:As a United Methodist I consider it my patriotic religious duty to do as such as soon as I have the time, and the talent to do so....jaeger115 wrote:Somebody needs to make an antithesis to this moronic website.
I need to bring these sites to the attention of my religion professors . They're more liberal than I am (and read the political compass thread to see I'm slightly left and slightly libertarian).In other words, I'm never gonna get around to it...damn, oh well.
BattleTech for SilCoreStanley Hauerwas wrote:[W]hy is it that no one is angry at the inequality of income in this country? I mean, the inequality of income is unbelievable. Unbelievable. Why isn’t that ever an issue of politics? Because you don’t live in a democracy. You live in a plutocracy. Money rules.
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I am a UM, which for those of you who don't know is pretty much one of the most accepting sects of Christianity (I know someone who's friend is in the Board of Trustees for their church, the guy is atheist. I've got atheist friends and my dad doesn't have a problem with it.)The Dark wrote:Hey, wait, you're a UM too? I thought I was the only one around here.Captain_Cyran wrote:As a United Methodist I consider it my patriotic religious duty to do as such as soon as I have the time, and the talent to do so....jaeger115 wrote:Somebody needs to make an antithesis to this moronic website.
I need to bring these sites to the attention of my religion professors . They're more liberal than I am (and read the political compass thread to see I'm slightly left and slightly libertarian).In other words, I'm never gonna get around to it...damn, oh well.
Actually I am more than just a UM, I'm the son of a minister .
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I posted some stuff before, but the UMC supports equal rights for homosexuals (bloody old conservatives keep voting down the amendment to allow gays to be ordained). We also support the rights of all religions to be practiced free of legal, economic, or political restrictions. The Social Orders also favor genetic therapies, although not for frivolous things like determining a child's gender. The Internet is well liked, particularly by the British portion of the Methodist Church (which is looking at expanding into webcasting sermons). The UMC is in favor of birth control, but against enforced birth control (involuntary abortion and forced sterilization). Tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs are frowned upon due to their links to health problems, but while abstinence is recommended it is not required.Captain_Cyran wrote:I am a UM, which for those of you who don't know is pretty much one of the most accepting sects of Christianity (I know someone who's friend is in the Board of Trustees for their church, the guy is atheist. I've got atheist friends and my dad doesn't have a problem with it.)
ROFL...a PK! I oughta talk to you more to find out what my kids are likely to be like (since I'm a pre-ministerial, looking at being a chaplain). One of my professors is debating both Bishop Whitaker and one of the North Central Bishops (Either Sprague or Coyner, IIRC) about the Virgin Birth, saying the Northern Bishop is a borderline heretic and the Florida one a horrible theologian, possibly a heretic. We have fun times with that professor.Actually I am more than just a UM, I'm the son of a minister .
Last edited by The Dark on 2003-01-19 07:48pm, edited 2 times in total.
BattleTech for SilCoreStanley Hauerwas wrote:[W]hy is it that no one is angry at the inequality of income in this country? I mean, the inequality of income is unbelievable. Unbelievable. Why isn’t that ever an issue of politics? Because you don’t live in a democracy. You live in a plutocracy. Money rules.
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I am also a PK, but my father is an Anglican not a UM. Anglicans aren't all as liberal, it has a broad range from anglocahtolics anglicans who want it to go back to catholicism, and the fundamentalists, and all ranges in between. my dad is fairly liberal. He would find the website as ridiculous as I do.The Dark wrote:ROFL...a PK! I oughta talk to you more to find out what my kids are likely to be like (since I'm a pre-ministerial, looking at being a chaplain). One of my professors is debating both Bishop Whitaker and one of the North Central Bishops (Either Sprague or Coyner, IIRC) about the Virgin Birth, saying the Northern Bishop is a borderline heretic and the Florida one a horrible theologian, possibly a heretic. We have fun times with that professor.Captain_Cyran wrote:I posted some stuff before, but the UMC supports equal rights for homosexuals (bloody old conservatives keep voting down the amendment to allow gays to be ordained). We also support the rights of all religions to be practiced free of legal, economic, or political restrictions. The Social Orders also favor genetic therapies, although not for frivolous things like determining a child's gender. The Internet is well liked, particularly by the British portion of the Methodist Church (which is looking at expanding into webcasting sermons). The UMC is in favor of birth control, but against enforced birth control (involuntary abortion and forced sterilization). Tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs are frowned upon due to their links to health problems, but while abstinence is recommended it is not required.I am a UM, which for those of you who don't know is pretty much one of the most accepting sects of Christianity (I know someone who's friend is in the Board of Trustees for their church, the guy is atheist. I've got atheist friends and my dad doesn't have a problem with it.)
Actually I am more than just a UM, I'm the son of a minister .[/i]
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Well, it honestly mostly depends on how you raise them, but it's almost assured that they are going to be insane.The Dark wrote:ROFL...a PK! I oughta talk to you more to find out what my kids are likely to be like (since I'm a pre-ministerial, looking at being a chaplain). One of my professors is debating both Bishop Whitaker and one of the North Central Bishops (Either Sprague or Coyner, IIRC) about the Virgin Birth, saying the Northern Bishop is a borderline heretic and the Florida one a horrible theologian, possibly a heretic. We have fun times with that professor.
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I take it to mean 'don't disobey a direct order from God, unless you have a death wish and a thing for flaming pits', which is slightly more consistant with the rest of the Bible..Spilling your seed on the ground is a sin worthy of capital punishment according to Yahveh.
Yeah, I know, the passages doesn't make much sense, but it has been used by fundies on several occasions to condemn of both masturbation and birth control.
I mean, the Catholic posistion is an absurd one. I guess we can't even reproduce anyway, since millions of sperm die trying...
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
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However, I'm SURE they'd have problems with the like of Emperor, Zyklon and Mayhem....HemlockGrey wrote:Interesting. I wonder if they would have any problem with Metallica, or Led Zeppelin, or System of a Down, or the Rolling Stones- after all, none of these groups are Alice Cooper-like nor do they have any Satanic lyrics. I guess we can safely discard yet another comic in the trash heap of over-generalization.
As a side note, this isn't as bad as Jack Chick. It is WORSE than Jack Hick!
"Hi there, would you like to have a cookie?"
"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
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Okay, we aim to please. *aims for the wall* Well, it's not on the ground. And you were the one to start arguing semantics, my fundie friend!Sir Sirius wrote:38:8 And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
38:9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
38:10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.
-- Genesis 38:8-10.
Spilling your seed on the ground is a sin worthy of capital punishment according to Yahveh.
Yeah, I know, the passages doesn't make much sense, but it has been used by fundies on several occasions to condemn of both masturbation and birth control.
"I said two shot to the head, not three." (Anonymous wiretap, Dallas, TX, 11/25/63)
Only one way to make a ferret let go of your nose - stick a fag up its arse!
there is no god - there is no devil - there is no heaven - there is no hell
live with it
- Lazarus Long
Only one way to make a ferret let go of your nose - stick a fag up its arse!
there is no god - there is no devil - there is no heaven - there is no hell
live with it
- Lazarus Long
I tried to read those comics...why the hell is their font so fucking small? If they want poeple to read those comics, they should at least make them POSSIBLE to read!
Or maybe they just try to stop other people from making fun of them.
*shudder*
I'll go read some maths books, their logic content should be high enough to cleanse my now-poisoned mind
Or maybe they just try to stop other people from making fun of them.
*shudder*
I'll go read some maths books, their logic content should be high enough to cleanse my now-poisoned mind
- Einhander Sn0m4n
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Well this "Yahweh/Jehova/Fucktard" asshat can go suicide-fuck himself on the particle-beam jet of a neutron star! What a racist donkey-fucking spawn of a syphilitic turdfucker!Sir Sirius wrote:38:8 And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.HemlockGrey wrote:Wait. Just read the porno cartoon.
I don't get it. Why just look at it? Don't you need to be wanking, too? Further, I don't see a commandment in the Bible against wanking...
38:9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
38:10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.
-- Genesis 38:8-10.
Spilling your seed on the ground is a sin worthy of capital punishment according to Yahveh.
Yeah, I know, the passages doesn't make much sense, but it has been used by fundies on several occasions to condemn of both masturbation and birth control.
Jehova != God
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I wonder if tehy're going to other comics, on things like why you shouldn't interbreed ('cause the Bible says so), why slavery was righteous ('cause the Bible says it was), or why you science is wrong and the earth is flat, supported on pillars, and is below heaven, and a sky that can be rolled up like a scroll ('cause this ancient book of tribla mythology says it is)
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...racist?Well this "Yahweh/Jehova/Fucktard" asshat can go suicide-fuck himself on the particle-beam jet of a neutron star! What a racist donkey-fucking spawn of a syphilitic turdfucker!
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
- Einhander Sn0m4n
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Yup! He said "Kill the heathens" then defined heathen as anyone other than the Israelites. That's where the very strong and intrinsic bond between Christianity and racism came about.HemlockGrey wrote:...racist?Well this "Yahweh/Jehova/Fucktard" asshat can go suicide-fuck himself on the particle-beam jet of a neutron star! What a racist donkey-fucking spawn of a syphilitic turdfucker!
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Im thinking rascist. when youve got jesus splitting groups into children and dogs, it's not a good thing. mark 7:27 or so.HemlockGrey wrote:...racist?Well this "Yahweh/Jehova/Fucktard" asshat can go suicide-fuck himself on the particle-beam jet of a neutron star! What a racist donkey-fucking spawn of a syphilitic turdfucker!
This day is Fantastic!
Myers Briggs: ENTJ
Political Compass: -3/-6
DOOMer WoW
"I really hate it when the guy you were pegging as Mr. Worst Case starts saying, "Oh, I was wrong, it's going to be much worse." " - Adrian Laguna