Let's make up a conspiracy theory!

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-05-25 06:45am

I have the "Grand Conspiracy Unification Theory"

Which proposes:
1. All Conspiracy Throries are correct (To some extant)
2. All Conspiracy Thories are Wrong (in some areas)
3. The ones that conflict with others are both correct (It's uncertain which parts are right)
4. The Six Degrees of Seperation Theory Applies to conspiracies, thus all conspiracy theories are related.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-05-25 08:30am

What about The Universal Conspiracy Against Anything??

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-05-25 08:59am

Not sure if it's a conspiracy, but my mate is pretty sure that Bananas are a type of fish...

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-05-25 10:13am

Elections are useless since the world is controled by secret societies.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-05-25 10:15am

Canada is the victim of a biological weapon attack by the US (Madcow, West Nile, SARS) in retaliation for not joining the Iraq War.

SARS was developed by the US and let loose into China in order to cripple them and destroy a potential military threat.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-05-25 10:19am

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Canada is the victim of a biological weapon attack by the US (Madcow, West Nile, SARS) in retaliation for not joining the Iraq War.

SARS was developed by the US and let loose into China in order to cripple them and destroy a potential military threat.

Well then they`re targeting the wrong country,they should release all those diseases in Mexico.

Sir Sirius · Post by **Sir Sirius** » 2003-05-25 10:27am

Montcalm wrote:Elections are useless since the world is controled by secret societies.

Its the FREEMASONS!!! Godless Satan worshipping Freemasons are here, fundies run for cover!

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-05-25 11:27am

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Canada is the victim of a biological weapon attack by the US (Madcow, West Nile, SARS) in retaliation for not joining the Iraq War.

SARS was developed by the US and let loose into China in order to cripple them and destroy a potential military threat.

Funny. I was thinking of posting the exact same thing. GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Enricko · Post by **Enricko** » 2003-05-25 12:26pm

Mark S wrote:
Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Canada is the victim of a biological weapon attack by the US (Madcow, West Nile, SARS) in retaliation for not joining the Iraq War.

SARS was developed by the US and let loose into China in order to cripple them and destroy a potential military threat.

Funny. I was thinking of posting the exact same thing. GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

If I were you, I would begin wearing a hat made of aluminium foil and tape coat-hangers to my bedroom ceiling...

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2003-05-25 01:08pm

Our newest transmitters penetrate aluminum foil actually.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-05-25 02:05pm

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Our newest transmitters penetrate aluminum foil actually.

I switched to zinc hats years ago.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-05-25 02:05pm

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Our newest transmitters penetrate aluminum foil actually.

Why should aluminum foil block certain rays??

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2003-05-25 04:59pm

The Illuminati are a front for Aum Shrinyko.

Crazy Goji · Post by **Crazy Goji** » 2003-05-25 05:20pm

Aliens are actually our friends, but their enemies, the CIA a.k.a. MIB, are the ones who abduct use from our homes and are the ones who take pleasure in cavity probing us. The people in the CIA are actually another extra-terrestrial race themselves with superhuman strengths in speed and agility, as well as able to fire a gun with near-perfect accuracy. Their only weakness is crappy conspiracy theories like these. The good aliens ("grays") use people like us who make crappy conspiracy theories like this to fight their war against the evil CIA. If we stop writing these theories, the CIA will turn the Earth into a giant super weapon, turning us into slaves to run its complex systems of wheels, pullies, and gears.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-05-25 08:24pm

Micheal Moore is actually conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh. After all, besides the radically different viewpoints, they're pretty much the same. They're both fat guys that have the occasional fact contradict their personal prejiduces.

Microsoft OSs and computer viruses are actually made by the government of a foreign country (Or the big bad US government consporacy people usually mention) to wreak havoc on computers, hampering business.

Aluminum foil is actually a mind-reading device, so when you use it to block signals, you're actually making things worse.

The lack of plausible conspiracies I'm thinking up of is a conspiracy involving someone, and they're doing it for some reason, I dunno...

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-05-25 08:46pm

That everyone but the US are evil muslim terrorists under the influence of the French government who don't believe in God, Freedom Fries and apple pie.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-05-26 05:19am

Crazy Goji wrote:The good aliens ("grays") use people like us who make crappy conspiracy theories like this to fight their war against the evil CIA.

But if the SGAs are the good ones, then why are they the most common aliens in abduction stories? Or are there several factions of SGAs??

("Greys" have become such a stereotype that I'm now calling them Stereotypical Grey Aliens, or SGAs)

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-05-26 12:18pm

The Aliens killed JFK. It was either them or the Illuminati. Or the Freemasons. Or Majestic 12...

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-05-26 12:40pm

3rd Impact wrote:The Aliens killed JFK. It was either them or the Illuminati. Or the Freemasons. Or Majestic 12...

You`re 100% wrong JFK was killed by JFK,see Red Dwarf.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-05-26 12:59pm

The light in the refridgerator stays on after you shut the door.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-05-26 01:59pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Crazy Goji wrote:The good aliens ("grays") use people like us who make crappy conspiracy theories like this to fight their war against the evil CIA.
But if the SGAs are the good ones, then why are they the most common aliens in abduction stories? Or are there several factions of SGAs??

("Greys" have become such a stereotype that I'm now calling them Stereotypical Grey Aliens, or SGAs)

Propaganda from the gov't. They disguise themselves as greys and then kidnap people to turn public opinion away from the truth. Much like how the Agents allowed "The Matrix" to be released to make sure people won't believe the free humans.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-05-26 02:44pm

Darth Yoshi wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Crazy Goji wrote:The good aliens ("grays") use people like us who make crappy conspiracy theories like this to fight their war against the evil CIA.
But if the SGAs are the good ones, then why are they the most common aliens in abduction stories? Or are there several factions of SGAs??

("Greys" have become such a stereotype that I'm now calling them Stereotypical Grey Aliens, or SGAs)
Propaganda from the gov't. They disguise themselves as greys and then kidnap people to turn public opinion away from the truth.

Isn't this quite hard, since the average SGA is the size of a midget?? (Don't forget that abductees usually report SGAs as having fewer fingers than humans)

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-05-26 03:04pm

You underestimate the tenacity of the gov't.

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2003-05-26 04:16pm

JFK was killed by Oswald. The whole conspiracy was invented to distract the populace from the real threat, the Nazis in their antartic bases.

Crazy Goji · Post by **Crazy Goji** » 2003-05-26 04:55pm

Actually, Darth Yoshi is right. Like I said, the "Greys" and the "CIA" are enemies. They hate each other. But to make the populace believe that the "Greys" are bad and mean, they use sophisticated technology (including hampster wheels and duct tape) to make it appear as if the "Greys" were the ones abducting people from their homes, instead of the "CIA." It's all a big government conspiracy. And I have a strict warning for you: Don't trust anyone who wears black and white.