god comes before you in glory, and says the bible is true

Tribun · Post by **Tribun** » 2003-06-07 04:33pm

Well....I would ask God allmighty for his I.D.

He could be an imposter....
(Jim! Don't you darte to ask God almighty for his I.D.!)

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-06-07 04:38pm

neoolong wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:I'd ask God whether he's Catholic or Lutheran. If he exists, I really want to know that.
Well if Jesus is God, wouldn't that make God Jewish?

But he's also the Christian God..... at least that's what they call him. And if he monitors The Devil closely enough, I'll ask him... what business Satan had fighting Santa Claus and Merlin The Wizard over the control of Mexico.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-06-07 05:14pm

I get a car and run the fucker over, he falls before my iorn chariot.

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2003-06-07 06:54pm

If Asgard suddenly appeared over ManHatten, would you believe in Thor?

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-06-07 09:21pm

Lonestar:

I remember this thing from the daily show about when president bush said something about the US being of God and stuff, blah blah blah, and the host went on about what the other gods say, and Thor just went RAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-06-07 09:29pm

I'd say, "No offense, but I already knew that. Maybe you should go tell someone who doesn't believe already."

Well, thats what I'd be thinking, but I'd probably start off by bowing and scraping.

Ender · Post by **Ender** » 2003-06-07 10:14pm

I'd say "When are you going to start coaching the Bears again?" and "Why the hell did you go to the Saints of all teams?" and maybe "Can I buy you a beer, Mr Ditka?"

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2003-06-07 10:33pm

Ender wrote:I'd say "When are you going to start coaching the Bears again?" and "Why the hell did you go to the Saints of all teams?" and maybe "Can I buy you a beer, Mr Ditka?"

Da Bears!

Who'd win in a fight, Vince Lombardi, or Mike Ditka?

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-06-07 10:39pm

"Oh Vengful One! Tell me who to smite and he shall be smoten!"

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-06-07 11:12pm

Uh...I fall to my knees, worship him, and do his bidding.

Seriously, if you are confronted with a being that can erase any traces of the existance of your entire species on a whim, I really, really doubt you would tell him he's a dick.

Ender · Post by **Ender** » 2003-06-07 11:16pm

Lonestar wrote:
Ender wrote:I'd say "When are you going to start coaching the Bears again?" and "Why the hell did you go to the Saints of all teams?" and maybe "Can I buy you a beer, Mr Ditka?"
Da Bears!

Who'd win in a fight, Vince Lombardi, or Mike Ditka?

Ditka of course.

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-06-07 11:34pm

I'd say, 'How's it going. Nice to put a face to those voices."

I mean... nothing. *shifty eyes*

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2003-06-07 11:34pm

Ender wrote:Ditka of course.

Lies. All lies.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-06-07 11:46pm

JodoForce wrote:
Enforcer Talen wrote: ow. it hurts.
"Doctor, it hurts when I do that!"
"Well don't do it!"

Im beginning to think Im a masochist. sauren and I are plotting round 2.

Ender · Post by **Ender** » 2003-06-08 12:24am

Lonestar wrote:
Ender wrote:Ditka of course.
Lies. All lies.

As a born and raised Chicagoan, I can fully assure you of the fact that Mike Ditka is the Lord Almighty, that Jerry Krause is Satan, and that Da Coach could spank Vince any day of the week.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-06-08 12:30am

Oh, and in the vein of this thread...

Hey, Almighty! I'm calling You out! Appear before me in person (or I suppose Metatron would do), or else I'm not going to believe in You!

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-06-08 12:36am

I've always wondered how the hell he could get 'Metatron' from 'Enoch'

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-06-08 12:41am

DPDarkPrimus wrote:Oh, and in the vein of this thread...

Hey, Almighty! I'm calling You out! Appear before me in person (or I suppose Metatron would do), or else I'm not going to believe in You!

Watch as Alan Rickman appears before you.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-06-08 02:43am

Lonestar wrote:If Asgard suddenly appeared over ManHatten, would you believe in Thor?

As a scandinavian, I'd go to the Vatican and tell the Pope "YOU HAD THE WHOLE DAMN THING ALL WRONG!"

Rhadamanthus · Post by **Rhadamanthus** » 2003-06-08 06:13am

"WANKER!!! Point me to the Lake of Fire oh sadistic one, I'm from Phoenix, It'll be a vacation!!!"

Or something along those lines.

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2003-06-08 06:44am

What I want to know is why God would go anyware in Glory? is Glory a hevenly fashion statement? or is it a 56 chevvy?

Rhadamanthus · Post by **Rhadamanthus** » 2003-06-08 01:20pm

Glory is Tatu and lots of girls in school uniforms and undies.

Even God can't resist hot lesbians who can sing.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-06-08 02:13pm

"have you got my throne ready?"

it'd be quite cool to say that to god.

Or "Turn this into a woman" referring to a bowl of rice krispies.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-06-08 04:36pm

The first thing I'd do is offer God a choice: Either he resigns or I boycott his products.

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-06-08 06:32pm

I'd kick God in the nuts for all the shit he's caused me in his life then lay into him with a lead pipe for all the irritation he's caused most of the other people I know.