Will the sun explode in 6 years?!?

[Spanky The Dolphin]

Ah, so Weekly World News is satire. That fact has suddenly made a lot of things make sense.

[Raoul Duke, Jr.]

I ran a quick scan of Google regarding "Piers Van der Meer" and primarily the only thing it sent back were various versions of this article... and something about "Satan's Excrement." I might look into that later.

[taz]

Won't matter even if it does, 'cos we ain't gonna feel it are we?

[StarshipTitanic]

Won't matter even if it does, 'cos we ain't gonna feel it are we?

Um...

No, he' s just joking...

[Kamakazie Sith]

This is great stuff........

Anyone also heard of the asteroid that is suppose to pass by the Earth from around 10 million KM and cause catastrophic changes to the Earths environment?

Lets hear some more! I find this to be entertaining.

[magice]

The theory of an explosion of the sun is both absurd and childish. So some jerk wants to scare you with a posting on yahoo. Ok... well let me tell you that the sky is going to turn green, and the great oceans are going to turn into pudding within 3 years. Do you wanna post a question on that?
Don't waste your time, its not gonna explode for a projected 50 BILLION years-do some real research.

[Spanky The Dolphin]

That's five billion, not fifty.

Do you know how infinately long fifty billion years is?

[Raoul Duke, Jr.]

This is great stuff........

Anyone also heard of the asteroid that is suppose to pass by the Earth from around 10 million KM and cause catastrophic changes to the Earths environment?

Lets hear some more! I find this to be entertaining.

Maybe when the sun explodes it'll just wipe out that asteroid for us.

[XaLEv]

That's five billion, not fifty.

Do you know how infinately long fifty billion years is?

Not very, since it's only fifty billion.

[Kuja]

That's five billion, not fifty.

Do you know how infinately long fifty billion years is?

Spanky, calm down. Magice is a guy across the hall from me, and he hit "0" by accident.

[Raoul Duke, Jr.]

The theory of an explosion of the sun is both absurd and childish. So some jerk wants to scare you with a posting on yahoo. Ok... well let me tell you that the sky is going to turn green, and the great oceans are going to turn into pudding within 3 years. Do you wanna post a question on that?
Don't waste your time, its not gonna explode for a projected 50 BILLION years-do some real research.

What flavor of pudding? 'Cause if you say tapioca, I'm gonna be really upset.

[Spanky The Dolphin]

That's five billion, not fifty.

Do you know how infinately long fifty billion years is?

Spanky, calm down. Magice is a guy across the hall from me, and he hit "0" by accident.

I'm not mad or anything, so stop telling me to calm down. If I said it with excamaition points, you'd have something.

Plus, I posted that almost 12 hours ago.

XaLEv: compared to 5 billion, 50 billion years is practially infinately long. Especially for the sequence of a star.

[Kuja]

I'm not mad or anything, so stop telling me to calm down. If I said it with excamaition points, you'd have something.

Plus, I posted that almost 12 hours ago.

XaLEv: compared to 5 billion, 50 billion years is practially infinately long. Especially for the sequence of a star.

I don't know man, sometimes you can really fly off the handle (no offense) especially when someone say something stupid.

[LordShaithis]

Just for the record, this isn't a "news" report. It's not even a hoax or an attempt at tabloid sensationalism. It's... the Weekly World News. Now for those not familiar with it, the WWN is so fucking over-the-top that absolutely NOBODY takes it seriously. It's essentially a humor magazine that dresses up like a supermarket tabloid. Some other storied I've read in WWN:

* 4000 year old vampire found living in old-folks home.

* Bigfoot to fight Yeti in wrestling match.

* Housecat is Hitler reincarnated. (It even had a moustache!!)

So relax. Not even the writers expect anyone to believe their stories.

[EmperorMing]

This is great stuff........

Anyone also heard of the asteroid that is suppose to pass by the Earth from around 10 million KM and cause catastrophic changes to the Earths environment?

Lets hear some more! I find this to be entertaining.

Quiet!! That is my trojan horse invasion force! do you want to blow their cover before they have arrived??

[Kuja]

Yes...

[Raoul Duke, Jr.]

Just for the record, this isn't a "news" report. It's not even a hoax or an attempt at tabloid sensationalism. It's... the Weekly World News. Now for those not familiar with it, the WWN is so fucking over-the-top that absolutely NOBODY takes it seriously. It's essentially a humor magazine that dresses up like a supermarket tabloid. Some other storied I've read in WWN:

* 4000 year old vampire found living in old-folks home.

* Bigfoot to fight Yeti in wrestling match.

* Housecat is Hitler reincarnated. (It even had a moustache!!)

So relax. Not even the writers expect anyone to believe their stories.

Wait a minute, I remember that rag! My mom used to read it (We're still not sure if therapy is in order...) Isn't that the one with that fuckin' stupid bat-baby? ROFLMAO!

[Bob McDob]

Been meaning to post this for eons . . .

POPE JOHN PAUL II and the Vatican have hit a high-tech way to short-circuit sex scandels gripping the Catholic Church: Robot priests!
And Weekly World News has obtained top-secret blueprints that prove:
1. The technologt to build the "mechanical holy men" does, in fact, exist.
2. Not only that, the first prototypes, which cost $2 million each, are just weeks away from being tested in as-yet unspecified parishes in the United States.
Neither the Pope nor official Vatican spokesmen are speaking for the record.
But highly placed church sources who leaked blueprints and schematics concede that the survival of the chuch might hinge on the sucess of the Japanese-made "Kumachi" robots.
"We are expecting these units to perform many of the duties of a priest, including hearing, confession, conducting Mass, officiating at weddings and funerals, and giving sermons", explains a Vatican insider with ties to the project.
"Robots lack human emotions, impulses and intuitions, and that's certainly a drawback.
"But sooner than later, engineers will take the technology to the next level, and find ways to make these machines more lifelike."
The insider stopped short of saying that the robots were created in order to stem a rising tide of anger and distrust arising from allegations of sex abuse by priests of the United States.
But another Vatican source insists: "That's clearly the case".
The insider did say that the first fleet of mechanical holy men" will begin minestering electronically to the faithful in select parishes in the U.S. by August.
"We aren't Pollyannas here -- we expect some resistance," adds the insider. "But anytime you introduce drastic change, some people are going to fight you."
The insider says Pope John Paul "was instrumental in the development of robot-priest technology, having approved it in theory as early as 1999."
The insider goes on to say the Pope also approved accelerating the program when a series of lurid scandels rocked the Catholic Church to its foundations earlier this year.
"He will issue a statement supporting the use of robots very soon," says the insider, notin that the Pope must time his public appearances carefully as he struggles with advanced Parkinson's disease and the ravages of old age.
Father Luciano Bellacosa, professor of theology at the prestegious St. Thomas Aquinas Seminary, in Naples, Italy, believes robot priests are a sound idea.
"Not only will they help to minimize the problem of sexual predators within the ranks of the Catholic clergy, they can also be ysed to boost the ranks of the clergy -- period," he says.
"Shortages of priests have plagued the chuch since the 1960s.
"The robots aren't cheap. But anything's a bargain compared to the multimillion dollar payoffs for victims of sexual abuse."

FRENCH SUE TO REPO STATUE OF LIBERTY
An offical in the office of the Secretary of the Interior which has authority over the statue said, "Those Frogs sure have a long memory".

Mafia runs help-wanted ads to solve mobster shortage

Simple test tells if you're an idiot!
AN EXCITING new test developd at "a top university" will help you determine if you're an idiot and don't know it.
Don't laugh -- according to psychologists who created the quiz, as many as three out of 10 people are mentally deficient in ways that other folks find obvious, but the idiots themselves are completely unaware of.
To gauge YOUR "Idiot Quotient," answer each of the 10 questions below to the best of your ability . . . After finding out where you standm be sure to quiz your friends and family.

1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days, how many of them have 28 days?
4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come?
5. How many outs are there in an inning?
6. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? Why?
7. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.
8. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
9. I have two U.S. coins totalling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the coins?
10. A clerk in the butcher's shop is 5 foot 10 inches tall. What does he weigh?

JIMMY HOFFA FOUND - IN ELVIS' GRAVE

How YOU can renegotiate your deal with the Devil!
WARNING: Dealing with Satan and dark supernatural forces is a risky proposition no matter how experienced you are. Consult a certified professional like Thomas Rutmore or any trusted minister, pastor or priest. The quality of your eternal life may depend on it.

FROG BABY CHOKES ON DRAGONFLY!
'My ason almost croaked,' says relieved mom

NO MERCY FOR THIS ANGEL OF MERCY
Nurse lap dances for her patients - & gets the axe!

Where's Osama? Find him & win $10!

[EmperorMing]

WTF???

[Admiral Valdemar]

Gotta love how it says the sun is overheating. That's like saying the icecap is overcooling.

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

On the subject of stars, some dimmer, cooler, ones can burn for over 50 billion years.

As for the Weekly World News, they're full of more than someone after a -eating contest. They're just trying to make us afraid.

[EmperorMing]

There is enough BS going on as it is without someone else stirring up the headless chickens into a rampage...

[Ironwolf]

"It's quite similar to when a star goes supernova at the end of its life," Dr. Van der Meer explains. "Over the past 11 years, we've seen our Sun go through changes frighteningly like those that took place in Kepler's Star right before it was observed going supernova in 1604."

I didn't know they could take a stars temperature in 1604. Must have had the flue.

[Colonel Olrik]

"It's quite similar to when a star goes supernova at the end of its life," Dr. Van der Meer explains. "Over the past 11 years, we've seen our Sun go through changes frighteningly like those that took place in Kepler's Star right before it was observed going supernova in 1604."

I didn't know they could take a stars temperature in 1604. Must have had the flue.

They didn't. The star just grew bigger, IIRC. Suddenly, there was a new star in the sky. Hard not to notice for an astronomer