Would you fuck the mother of God?

[neoolong]

Anyway, wasn't Joseph older? Mary was 16 at the time she gave birth.

Damn if that was today, God would be charged with statuatory rape.

I probably wouldn't. Unless she was some uberhottie and I wasn't burdened by any of her problems. But I doubt it.

[Enforcer Talen]

Let's pretend that the story in the Bible is true. Mary was a virgin when she conceived Christ, and Christ really was the son of God. If you were Joseph, would you fuck her after she gave birth to Jesus? According to Catholic doctrine, Mary never had sex with Joseph ... ever (yeah, right ).

I'd sure as Hell nail her. Come on. Plugging the mother of God has got to be one Hell of a sexual experience, I'd think.

I vaguely recall jesus having brothers/sisters - does that mean the catholics think they were immaculate conceptions, too?

poor joseph. all the bad things of marriage, and none of the good.

[Alyrium Denryle]

Oh, yeah, I'm would hit her. And Alyrium you sick fuck. No one said Jesus was a virgin, ad you could make God be your bitch. Truly evil. Congrats.

Thank you, thank you! *bows*

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

Let's pretend that the story in the Bible is true. Mary was a virgin when she conceived Christ, and Christ really was the son of God. If you were Joseph, would you fuck her after she gave birth to Jesus? According to Catholic doctrine, Mary never had sex with Joseph ... ever (yeah, right ).

I'd sure as Hell nail her. Come on. Plugging the mother of God has got to be one Hell of a sexual experience, I'd think.

I vaguely recall jesus having brothers/sisters - does that mean the catholics think they were immaculate conceptions, too?

poor joseph. all the bad things of marriage, and none of the good.

\

Yeah. There was some burial casket for "The brother of Jesus". Some say that since Joseph was an older man, he had children form other marriages. It's a better solution than calling the archaeologists heretics and burning them at stake, which is probably what would have happened if it was found 600 years ago.

[Darth Yoshi]

I would like a copy of that video

And yes it would my dear....oh yes it would.

So would I, so would I.

And I would bang her.

[Evil Sadistic Bastard]

Wow. If the very small (probably closer to nonexistent, but bear with me) possibility that Christianity is true is correct, you are soooooooo going to hell.

Durran, you forgot that for people like me...

HELL IS MY DESTINY!

EDIT: So yeah, I'd bone her and make her beg for more.

[data_link]

No. The best evidence (the fact that she lived in a time where people did not bathe daily, and disposed of their waste by throwing it out the window) suggests that she probably wasn't very attractive.

[Evil Sadistic Bastard]

No. The best evidence (the fact that she lived in a time where people did not bathe daily, and disposed of their waste by throwing it out the window) suggests that she probably wasn't very attractive.

So close your eyes and get off on the fact that you're changing history.

[data_link]

No. The best evidence (the fact that she lived in a time where people did not bathe daily, and disposed of their waste by throwing it out the window) suggests that she probably wasn't very attractive.

So close your eyes and get off on the fact that you're changing history.

No thanks. I'd rather just shoot her.

[Evil Sadistic Bastard]

No thanks. I'd rather just shoot her.

Whatever floats your boat.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

No. The best evidence (the fact that she lived in a time where people did not bathe daily, and disposed of their waste by throwing it out the window) suggests that she probably wasn't very attractive.

The Romans did bathe daily, and had fully functional sewer systems in their cities. They were a few Roman-style cities in Judea at that time.

Also, at least in Egypt, Jewish women might be fully shaved. The Egyptians shaved all of their body hair (Period; they wore wigs on their heads, male and female), and who knows what caught on..

Of course, their definition of beauty was definitely different, principally, more substantial in the way of curves than our's.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

Wow. If the very small (probably closer to nonexistent, but bear with me) possibility that Christianity is true is correct, you are soooooooo going to hell.

I'm already going to hell, a little more won't hurt me

According to Dante there are different circles of Hell, and the Devil has three mouths, in which Brutus, Cassius, and Judas are eternally chewed. You're not just going to a more infernal circle: Durandal is replacing Brutus and Ghost Rider is replacing Cassius for this thread.

I don't think I've said anything explicit enough to get down there; I like being legalistic. The Catholic Church is good for that, even if you don't believe in the doctrine anymore. Ahh...

[Darth Wong]

No. The best evidence (the fact that she lived in a time where people did not bathe daily, and disposed of their waste by throwing it out the window) suggests that she probably wasn't very attractive.

The Romans did bathe daily, and had fully functional sewer systems in their cities. They were a few Roman-style cities in Judea at that time.

Indeed, the prohibition against bathing was a medieval Christian thing, which stemmed from Paul's exhortation for people to hate their own bodies.

Also, at least in Egypt, Jewish women might be fully shaved. The Egyptians shaved all of their body hair (Period; they wore wigs on their heads, male and female), and who knows what caught on..

Of course, their definition of beauty was definitely different, principally, more substantial in the way of curves than our's.

Mind you, public perceptions of ideal female body types are substantially skewed in Hollywood productions. If you look at porno movies, almost all of the women are MUCH chunkier than Hollywood women.

[Joe]

The Indians were revolted by the smell of the Europeans when they first came to North America.

[Coyote]

Mary and Joseph were Jews and they were commanded to bathe frequently for ritual purposes and to wash before eating. It was also popular back then to pluck body hair out so as not to be "unsightly".

So she'd have been just what I like-- dark complexion, dark hair and eyes... Mmmmm. Yeah, I'd've done "Mary" (Miryam), and I am also one of the usurpers who said I'd knock on the cellar door too, if she'd go for it.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

The Indians were revolted by the smell of the Europeans when they first came to North America.

Well, in early Christianity (This is also a reply to Mike), bathing was okay - Christians were, after all, Romans, then. But then the Roman Empire fell and in came Barbarians who would sooner smash a bath tub than enjoy it.

There was a potential revival of the concept of cleanliness under Charlemagne and the Frankreich. Charlemagne liked bathing, and had a heated bath in his palace.

Unfortunately, this was also the era of religious fanaticism against Jews and Muslims, and in particular the gradual reconquista of Spain. There, it was believed that one of the ways you could tell if someone who had converted to Christianity but secretly maintained their Jewish or Muslim practices of faith was if they.... Yep.. Bathed.

So cleanliness was perceived as a sign of being Muslim or Jewish, and being filthy, holy christianity. Thus, by the time we landed in the New World, with witchhunting fervour approaching its fevered pitch and religious War abrew in Europe, the only safe thing to bathe in within the confines of the European continent north of the Danube was mud.

[Tsyroc]

The Indians were revolted by the smell of the Europeans when they first came to North America.

They had been at sea for a long time. Wouldn't want to waste your freshwater on bathing.

Plus, if they were wearing wool the whole time...just sucking up the b.o. ack!!

[EmperorMing]

Back on topic...

Yeah, I would do her. Nothing like family relations that go high up to smooth things over. Kind of like the Mafia...

[SirNitram]

I would not fuck Mary. It's not religious, I just don't fuck women I don't know. I'm a romantic, so sue me.

I'd just fuck with her head.

"If someone named Paul hangs around with your son, call the city watch immediately. The man's insane."

Would be just the start..

[EmperorMing]

I would not fuck Mary. It's not religious, I just don't fuck women I don't know. I'm a romantic, so sue me.

I'd just fuck with her head.

"If someone named Paul hangs around with your son, call the city watch immediately. The man's insane."

Would be just the start..

LOL!!

[InnerBrat]

I would like a copy of that video

And yes it would my dear....oh yes it would.

So would I, so would I.

And I would bang her.

Mary or Zaia?

Or both?

[SWPIGWANG]

only if she is hot

[SAMAS]

If I were Joseph? HELL YES!! As Kevin Smith put it through Chris Rock:

Mary gave birth to CHRIST without having known a man's touch, that's true. But she did have a husband. And do you really think he'd have stayed married to her all those years if he wasn't getting laid? The nature of God and the Virgin Mary, those are leaps of faith. But to believe a married couple never got down? Well, that's just plain gullibility.

[Ghost Rider]

SAMAS the point is you're not Joseph...you're you.

Thus would YOU fuck the Mother of God?

And bring Both Yoshi...both

[Durandal]

If I were Joseph? HELL YES!! As Kevin Smith put it through Chris Rock:

Mary gave birth to CHRIST without having known a man's touch, that's true. But she did have a husband. And do you really think he'd have stayed married to her all those years if he wasn't getting laid? The nature of God and the Virgin Mary, those are leaps of faith. But to believe a married couple never got down? Well, that's just plain gullibility.

Heh, did you see the full version of that scene?

BETHANY: Mary and Joseph had sex?!
RUFUS: Shit, Mary was a screamer! Jesus would always tell me about hearin' em through the walls when he was a kid!