Annoying jehovah witness

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-01-29 03:08pm

Darth Pounder wrote:You can't discuss religon with a christian. I remember when i was working in politics i was talking with my bosses brother. He is the nicest man you'll ever meet, approachable about most things. Mention the flaws of christanity you will physically see his face redden and "No" seems to become his favourite word.

Not all of us. Just overly conservative ones. I'm quite willing to admit that there are flaws in much of mainstream Christianity. Some people take the Bible far too literally, when much of it is intended to be symbolic (virtually the entire Pentateuch and much of the Prophets, just to think of some quick examples before I collapse for a couple hours to sleep).

ArthurDent · Post by **ArthurDent** » 2003-01-29 04:16pm

Alyrium Denryle wrote:No, they dont leave you alone. I live in arizona, there is a kindom Hall down the street from me, and 3, count them 3 mormon churches within a mile of me. I get missionaries every couple weeks, They have even started singing AFTER i slammed the door in their face.

Then those particular missionaries were idiots. The church certainly did not give them instructions to do such a thing. Indeed its counter-productive to their purpose.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-01-29 04:19pm

Yes, but Mormons never seem to know that the history of their church is a bunch of crap. I guess we should tell them.

Maybe I will answer the door while naked the next time the JW's come. It's my property, I think that I have a legal right here...

By the way, where I live it's not the JW's that bother everyone, it's the fucking Baptists. They have a big ass church near the edge of town and even have the audacity to send children to our doors who try and invite us to church! How low is that? How can anyone slam the door in the face of a kid!

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2003-01-29 04:37pm

Superman wrote:By the way, where I live it's not the JW's that bother everyone, it's the fucking Baptists. They have a big ass church near the edge of town and even have the audacity to send children to our doors who try and invite us to church! How low is that? How can anyone slam the door in the face of a kid!

Children are easier to send away than adults, because kids in a Christian society are usually taught that if they are talking to an adult, they are usually bothering them for some reason or another, and they tend to be apologetically polite or blatantly stupid, and either wayit shouldn't be too hard just to say, "No thanks, kid." and say goodbye and close the door.

Kids are just doing what their parents say to do. Anything past the age of 16, though, and I figure you know they know what they're getting into and shouldn't be concerned if I rip into them. After all, they're on MY time.

Boba Fett · Post by **Boba Fett** » 2003-01-30 03:13am

Darksider wrote:jehovahs witnesses are the most annnoying people on the planet Jw's are just annoying there is a large group of them near where i live and they come around every day at like 1:00 (good thing i'm not home) unfortunetly one day the teachers at my school had an inservice and the buggers cought me i wish i could find out where the hell they are coming from

Jehova's witnesses' HQ?

*searching archives*
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Planet LV-426...

ArthurDent · Post by **ArthurDent** » 2003-01-30 01:23pm

Superman wrote:Yes, but Mormons never seem to know that the history of their church is a bunch of crap. I guess we should tell them.

Tell us what? Your opinion?

Lord_Xerxes · Post by **Lord_Xerxes** » 2003-01-30 04:26pm

Reminds me of the time that missionaries were being sent to the convience store I work at. They were bombarding us for a few weeks straight till my co-worker told one he was gonna call the police for soliciting and basically told them off. I'll throw it up if anyone cares to read it.

Me from my site www.gotdoom.com/journal5.html wrote:
There is one thing that I cannot tolerate. One absolute syn that humanity, people, can commit that will drive me into insanity. Even more so than the doom of Wa. Even more so than the pissing, bitching, moaning, and whining of small children that deserves a full magazine of 9mm bullets through the skull....And tonight, that syn was commited at the Wa to me. As it has many times throughout my life.

You know, George Carlin said it best when he said, "Keep thy religion to thy self."

I don't care if you're catholic, if you're christian, if you're buddhist, if you believe in little blue faeries that sprinkle you with love and happiness powder and causes you to masturbate while watching Montel Williams until you turn red in the face with glee. Keep your religion to your self. No. I'm not intrested in your faith. I don't care how much you think I'm going to hell. Or pergatory, or wherever. So be it. I don't push my agnosticism mingled with paganistic and satanistic values on you. (and by the way, before you start calling me a heathen and a satanist, try actually understanding satanism first. The part of it that I agree with is the little aspect that we all are own own god or devil-in such that we all have good and evil in ourselves and we determine whether or not we are or act good or evil.)

To the story. A woman came in tonight somewheres around 11:20-11:30. And of course, she began to question the necklaces I wear. (I wear a celtic knotwork charm that stands for luck-which I purchased last year after surviving a nasty incident at the shore where I was sucked out by undertow and became exhausted and nearly drowned-a pentacle, which of course she mistook for a pentagram and had to explain the meaning of both, and the Marilyn Manson shock symbol...which of course, in combination with teh music I listen to, and my gothic dress style, caused her to go into one of those "I'm force-feeding my religion down your throat" discussions.

Of course, she covered it by trying to act nice. But she began to ask me whether I believed in god or Jesus and whether I went to church. And I made it obvious that I didn't want to proceed with this conversation...because I don't like getting into religious debates because usually someone will piss me off by talking down my beliefs or telling me I'm going to hell or something to that degree and then I have to unleash the doom on them....by telling her that "It's not for me."

But an evasive answer and an obviously disinterested one didn't slow this sheep down. No, no, no. Like many others before her, she tried, and failed of course, to bring me into the flock. Sorry lady, but I like having my own mind and individuality, something your religion squelches and destroys.

I'm probably going to offend plenty of good christians with this rant. But really I don't fucking care. Because if you people would keep your fucking mouths shut, and stop trying to covert me, I wouldn't have to offend you. Offend you by telling you how hypocritical your religion is.

She persisted to try and convince me to go to church. Even stating that she, herself, would take me. She told me I wouldn't be judged there, or feel like an outsider. I'm sorry...but your kind judge mine based on face and surface value all the time. You just did it then. By asking me if I would ever read materials she'd give to me, or learn more about it you'd judged and assumed that I knew nothing about christianity. On the contrary, I know plenty. I know enough. And I made my decisions long ago before you, bitch.

Just because I wear all black, listen to heavy metal, and decide not to go to church doesn't mean I'm a bad person. It doesn't give you the right to force-feed bullshit down my mouth. And if the Wa wasn't a business, I would have fucking told her so. That and so much more.

She persisted to find out what religion I was. Whether I believed in heaven and hell, god and jesus, etc. And I told her that I was an agnostic. Which she didn't even know what it was! I had to tell her. She thought an agnostic was an atheist. And after I told her that I believed there was some higher power perhaps out there, but that I couldn't put a name on it or a definition to it...because I couldn't determine whether it was a He a She, or a They...she then felt it necessary to say to me "Surely you must look at teh world and the stars and know that He made this." or something to that degree. And what a wonderful universe and world He supposedly made. Full of death, destruction, plague, famine, rape, and doom. But he loves you!

She even asked me whether I believed in evolution?

Hello? Did you miss the last few years? Evolution is a FACT. We came from apes. Accept it. Pull that sheet from off your fucking eyes, pull your head out from your ass and wake the fuck up. Science is real. Carbon dating is real. Fossils are real. Some book that somebody wrote, which by all means could and most likely was a work of ficiton burried in the ground somewhere is not FACTUAL. When you bring some factual proof to the table that there is a god, then MAYBE I could even start to listen to you. If I burry J.R.R Tolkein's "Lord of the Rings" in the ground, and 3,000 years from now aliens come to this planet and find it, and read it...it doesn't mean it's factual! It doesn't mean there is one all powerful ring that can control all! Stop being a fucking idiot. Stop being a fucking sheep. And she says, "Oh...I know when I look at the stars that this was His work." Oh really? You know that? That's funny. Becuase I think we humans had established that a collection of gasses and dust and other matter that resulted in a massive explosion formed the stars. Now...whether or not some all powerful being caused these gases and dust and whatnot to collesce may or may not be true, but unless you can prove it to me other than by saying "I just know," then you really know absolutely nothing. You may think you know. But you don't. You know jackshit.

You are also probably completely oblivious to the fact that whoever did write the bible was too stupid to realize that it is impossible to crucify someone through the hands and feet. And that the Romans always crucified through the wrists and the ankles, because the hands and feet couldn't support the weight of the body. The bones inside ones hands and feet aren't complex and strong enough to support the weight of the body. Nice job, slapnuts. She's probably also oblivous to the fact that more people have been killed under the name of "god" than any war we've had in the world combined together. Yeah, that's right. Did you forget about the Inquistion? The Witch burnings? The Crusades? I know! Let's go kill a couple thousand Muslims for a fucking cup. Sounds like a great idea. "Thou shalt not kill...except when thy needth a gaudy golden cup to get drunketh from and then rapeth small children..."

She went on to tell me a story I reallly didn't care two shits about. About how she used to be into drinking and drugs and then she found Jesus and she was saved. I no sold this by telling her I didn't have those problems. And I didn't find Jesus. You know, I love it when people say they found Jesus and everything came right in their lives. How bout all the many christians and catholics that had found Jesus before they walked into the World Trade Center last September 11th? Where was Jesus and god then? Was god out taking a piss? Did he sleep in that morning because he had a wicked hang over from the night before from kicking back after parting some seas and curing some of those plagues that he has ravaging third world countries?(which might I add, would be plaguing our country if it weren't for medicine and vaccination....which came from SCIENCE! NOT GOD!) Where was god when the terrorists highjacked some planes and decided to kill a few thousand people. Well we know wher their god was. Because they were on a holy jihad. Yeah, that's right lady. God and Jesus fucked you that day, didn't he? Maybe he was to busy getting a blow job from Mary Magdalen. I love it when christians credit god for their sucesses, but never blame him for the horrible atrosicities that he commits on "His" children. But remember...He loves all His children. Like when the promising High School girl...perhaps the prom queen, or the class validictorian dies in a horrible car accident from a drunk driver...or driving drunk herself. Or when the Catholic priesthood is responsible for molesting, raping, and ruining several young boys lives. And then the Pope gives them a slap on the wrist. Where's god then? Nowhere. You're fucked. God fucked you. He slid his godly cock in your ass and drove it deeper and deeper. But when you win the Pro-Football game...perhaps the Super Bowl, or the last game in the Final Four in Basketball........It's god. "I'd like to thank god for this victory." Jason pointed out that god must really hate some sports teams. Like the Cincinatti Bengals. Because they keep fucking loosing. But remember, god loves all his children! Fuck you. Fuck your god. Fuck your ignorance. God fucks you on a daily basis. When you run out of gas on the way to work, that's god fucking you. When you step in your neighbor's dog shit, that's god fucking you. When you get fired from your job because the economy sucks and half the company is getting laid off and your wife has to pull tricks on the corner so you can make ends me...that's god fucking you. Or when god doesn't stop the terrorists from highjacking planes and crashing them into buildings...that's god fucking you. I guess god doesn't know how to stop a 747 from hitting the Trade Center with all the infinte wisdom and infinite power he has. He sees and hears and knows everything. But he sure knew dick that day. Yeah,You're fucked.

Maybe this woman in narrow-minded, tunnel vision existance never stopped to think that maybe she's fucking wrong. Maybe science is real. It's not "magick". This isn't the middle ages. People aren't getting killed for praticing science, or saying that the world isn't flat. Your little book doesn't hold all the answers. Your faith doesn't hold all the answers.

After the initial posting of this rant, a friend of mine named Cameron that used to work at Wa pointed out the same lady had once did this same thing to him too. In which he left her in stunned silence by telling her, "If we were all created to serve, then why were were created with the capacity of free will. Sort of counter productive, isn't it?" She gave him a fucking pamphlet and asked him "Don't you want god to have your soul?" and he replied with, "No, I don't want god to have my soul. My soul is mine and mine alone...and if its not mine to begin with as you say, then god can kill me right now, because I don't want it. My parents don't own me, and they didn't even create me. They were just vessels for my own self creation."He pointed out that "if you put a seed in the ground and water it and give it sunlight, and a pretty flower pops out, you didn't create that flower. You just empowered it to create itself. I could have just as easily been someone else, or no one at all."

George Carlin has always put things best. "Keep thy religon to thy self." That's my belief. I don't care what you belief in. you can belief in anything. Just don't push it on me. And it was Carlin who also said the following oh-so true words: "If this is the best god can do, I am not impressed...." and "There never was a god, not one, not ever, no. Infact, I'll go out on a limb and prove it. If there is a god...may he strike this audience dead.........You see, nothing happened!"

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2003-01-30 05:04pm

One of my friends works at a gas station, hes sorta goth, roleplaying nerdish type, altho he has the basic build of a football player, but anyway, he was working his shift one night, when some fundie came into the place, and started handing out pamphlets to the customers, and wouldnt leave people alone. My friend warned him to leave the customers alone, and the guy came over and started preaching at him, my friend then told the guy to leave immediately, or he would throw him out. The stupid fundie refused, and my friend punched him in the face, and then shoved his ass out the door.

Lord_Xerxes · Post by **Lord_Xerxes** » 2003-01-30 05:10pm

That's similiar to the situations that were happening at our convience store. They kept pushing pamphlets on the night crew people. One went so far as to go back to the deli, take some of our tape, and hang one up at the register at eye level.

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2003-01-31 08:53am

Lord_Xerxes wrote:That's similiar to the situations that were happening at our convience store. They kept pushing pamphlets on the night crew people. One went so far as to go back to the deli, take some of our tape, and hang one up at the register at eye level.

Some Christians (dunno what part of it) tried that when I used to work for ADRI Ottawa. They were employees who posted 'enlightening' materials on the public cork boards. Several other guys, and I do not know WHO, went around later and 'adjusted' the pamphlets with a pen and some whiteout. The result was both very true and vastly hilarious.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-01-31 09:04am

I have one who keeps bothering me when I eat breakfast, along with the cop that takes umbrage that I don't go outside of the building where I work, and inforce the law against the teenagers who are Drinking/smoking where I can't see them, and didn't get the Cigs or booze from me.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-01-31 01:01pm

Boba Fett wrote:
Darksider wrote:jehovahs witnesses are the most annnoying people on the planet Jw's are just annoying there is a large group of them near where i live and they come around every day at like 1:00 (good thing i'm not home) unfortunetly one day the teachers at my school had an inservice and the buggers cought me i wish i could find out where the hell they are coming from
Jehova's witnesses' HQ?

*searching archives*
...
...
...

Planet LV-426...

Ummmmmm ???

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2003-01-31 03:35pm

It's where the Xenomorphs from aliens are from.

You should play AvP2 a bit, y'know. A couple of missions in dark, alien-infested bunkers, and you can add your name to the list of people suing the game company for 'compensation for underwear damage'

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-01-31 03:55pm

Darth Utsanomiko wrote:It's where the Xenomorphs from aliens are from.

You should play AvP2 a bit, y'know. A couple of missions in dark, alien-infested bunkers, and you can add your name to the list of people suing the game company for 'compensation for underwear damage'

Oh ok... Next time I get a new pet I'm gonna try to find out where it's from...

*pets Xenomorph, Na'Ka'Leen Feeder, and Arachnid Bugs*