Silliest Fundie quote

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Nephtys
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Post by Nephtys »

JediMaster415 wrote:I've never really encountered a fundie but I know I get annoyed talking to the only Christians I know.

If I sit down next to my girlfriend at school and comment that I'm feeling lost because I'm down or ideas aren't coming to me, she'll say 'Open your heart and let God in.' 'No one can make anyone else on Earth happy. Only God can.'

She took me to meet some friends of hers when I was feeling so lost and down that I unplugged everything in my room (lights, computer, TV, alarm clock, etc.). One of them said, 'People aren't allowed to write anything unless it praises God. It's illegal.'

THe only thing that's keeping anywhere near that is the fact that I love my girlfriend.
That bunch is absolutely terrifying. You should be happy for yourself, and just throwing blind faith is not the way to make anything better. If you're down, you need to face those problems, not whisk them away to the invisible pink unicorn. She's a class A Nutbar, I think based on your description in this regard.

The last part of course, is also bad. That friends group is the kind that openly states that everyone else is wrong, and that the US is a 'Christian Nation' or some other garbage. Keep wary!
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Post by Quadlok »

I've got one I just heard at the supermarket checkout: 'The Europeans kicked out all the Christians 400 years ago.'

Now that is seriously stupid. I'm assuming it must be fundy related due to their tendency to restrict the definition of Christianity to the batshit insane variety.
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Post by Zero »

Jester, that site actually scares me a bit, mainly because those people aren't just dumbfuck hicks, they're dumbfuck hicks with supporters...
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Post by The Jester »

"And yes I consider bacteria and trees to be intelligent agents. You may not understand their intelligence but that does not mean it doesn't exist."
- John Paul, EvC Forum
Obviously this person is intelligent. We may not understand it but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
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Post by Noble Ire »

This one stands out to me (of course, that sight is populated by some of the worst hate-speak I have ever seen, even out of Nazi propaganda machine.
"I want you to just let a wave of intolerance wash over. I want you to let a wave of hatred wash over you. Yes, hate is good...Our goal is a Christian nation. We have a biblical duty, we are called by God to conquer this country. We don't want equal time. We don't want pluralism."
:shock:
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Really, what the hell?
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Post by The Nomad »

Wow. I wish we had some nutters like those to make fun of over there...
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Post by Glimmervoid »

the .303 bookworm wrote:
wautd wrote:I just found out our universe is created by Discworld wizards as this book proves


Incidently, Science of Discworld III is supposed to go about evolution vs creatonism.

Havnt read them myself yet but both books are currently on my to-do list :p
Which is why Pratchett is my new daddy. :wink:

The problem with Fundies is that they believe what they think, Logic is no match for faith.
Well it makes just as much sense as the bible and is funnier. I am on board. All parse the luggage, Rincewind the creature of life, thank the water cress sandwich.
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Post by wautd »

Oh the pain :banghead:
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Post by Haruko »

Haha. Check out this piece of work at my forum: http://pb.exocrew.com/haruko/viewtopic.php?t=2113

"Just to make it clear that I don't mind the profanity, but I do mind OMFG. Please do not use this sentence, it is offending to Christians. Also if you do not believe in God, don't say offensive things about Him. That is all."

What do you think I should say to this person? I know that X, Saint, and other users are going to give a better reply than I could. Just wondering what you would say to this.
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Post by The Spartan »

For what it's worth, Haruko, I think you should respond to him with a post filled to the brim with phrases that take the lord's name in vain.

For Example: Jesus fried Christ, Holy Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick, etc.

Alternatively you can point out that there are large number of gods besides his and say that you're actually invoking Zeus, for example, and not YHWH when you type 'OMFG.'
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Post by DPDarkPrimus »

If you don't believe in god, don't talk about him? :lol:

Ask him for a valid reason why.
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Post by Firefox »

That sounds like a variation of the "don't talk about Christian things if you're not a Christian" line of bullshit, as though it's some exclusive club that no one knows about, and can't understand unless they're members themselves.

Too bad their club manual's about as common as toilet paper.
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Post by Haruko »

DPDarkPrimus wrote:If you don't believe in god, don't talk about him? :lol:

Ask him for a valid reason why.
Eva's (very stupid) answer: "Because other people do, and it can offend then."
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Post by DPDarkPrimus »

Haruko wrote:
DPDarkPrimus wrote:If you don't believe in god, don't talk about him? :lol:

Ask him for a valid reason why.
Eva's (very stupid) answer: "Because other people do, and it can offend then."
Tell him to grow a pair. It's not a valid argument to say "You can't say that, people might be offended!"
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"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
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Post by Exonerate »

Zeond wrote:
DPDarkPrimus wrote:http://winace.andkon.com/fundies/

Winace's sadly defunct "Fundies Say the Darndest Things!". Several years of quotes from various message boards said by fundies. I've submitted quite a few quotes, and am even mentioned in one of them.

The demise of Fundies Say the Darnest Things has been greatly exagerated: Behold: The new and improved FStDT. Now fully automated with even more IQ reducing potential.
That's terrific... But unfortunately, the site is slower than a drunk lemur. Brinkster is a free-web host, whoever is hosting it shouldn't expect too much from it :P

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Post by Darth Wong »

Haruko wrote:Haha. Check out this piece of work at my forum: http://pb.exocrew.com/haruko/viewtopic.php?t=2113

"Just to make it clear that I don't mind the profanity, but I do mind OMFG. Please do not use this sentence, it is offending to Christians."
It's a figure of speech; tell him to deal with it. And then point out that he's obviously just looking for excuses to play the victim.
Haruko's forum dipshit wrote:"Also if you do not believe in God, don't say offensive things about Him. That is all."
Why not?
What do you think I should say to this person? I know that X, Saint, and other users are going to give a better reply than I could. Just wondering what you would say to this.
I'm serious about the "why not" retort. When someone tells you to shut up he'd better have a good reason, and his reason amounts to nothing more than "because I want you to".
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Post by Nephtys »

[quote="Haruko's Forum, in a more sensable universe...]"Also if you do not believe in Evolution, don't say stupid as hell, ignorant things about it. That is all."[/quote][/quote]
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Post by Nephtys »

I officially also hate tags. Darn!
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Post by Spambot Jedi »

The Nomad wrote: Wow. I wish we had some nutters like those to make fun of over there...
Dude...aren't you, like, from France? No shortage of people to make fun of over there :lol: Hell, if this were Spacebattles, this thread would have had to have started out with the requisite three pages of anti-French me-too'ing before we could even get to the fundies.
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Post by Haruko »

I was thinking about the following in response:
Eva Unit 01 wrote:Because other people do, and it can offend then.
As can a cornucopia of other things. No good has ever resulted from a society that suppressed dissenting views, and the dissenting views themselves have never harmed anyone who was mentally sound.
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Post by Imperial Overlord »

The New York Times Magazine had an article about the anti-gay marriage crowd. This line by one of them on the insidious threat of inflitration by the evil queers caused me to laugh out loud:
It will surprise you to learn how many homosexuals work in the floral industry.
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Post by The Nomad »

Spambot Jedi wrote:Dude...aren't you, like, from France? No shortage of people to make fun of over there :lol: Hell, if this were Spacebattles, this thread would have had to have started out with the requisite three pages of anti-French me-too'ing before we could even get to the fundies.
Come on, even in France you don't see shit like that :P , either in quantity or "quality" :wink: ( well, "quality", perhaps, some rare times see below ) . Though I go :banghead: on my own countrymen pretty often.

Though by "here" I meant SDnet :twisted:

Hey, here are some jewels from France ( from a pro-choice website ); they come from one of the most famous pro-life politicians, Christine Boutin, right-wing French deputy ( famous for being a hyperhyped opponent of the PaCS, which she considered as being a first step towards homosexual marriage, and also for brandishing the Bible in the Hémicycle ( National Assembly ) ). I'll try translating those quotes as accurately as I can.
What is homosexuality, if not the impossibility to reach other people through your sexual difference ?
Notice the Non Sequitur. I don't know if I translated it accurately, but even in French it doesn't make any sense.
All the civilizations that have acknowledged homosexuality as a normal lifestyle have been victim of decadence
Doesn't break any leg, but you can get a pretty good idea of the kind of anti-abortion homophobic fucktard you're dealing with ( by anti-abortion I do not mean simply pro-life : she supported an amnesty for those found guilty of assaulting abortion clinics ).

Mrs Boutin is also the closest thing to a Vatican "secret" operative : she's member of several Vatican related organizations ( I don't know of the English name, must something like the Sacred Papal Congregation for Family ), and stated that "[she was] first and foremost a Catholic, then an elected representative".

I haven't heard from her since she spouted some more of her sophistic bullshit on one of the most viewed French live debate shows ( On ne peut pas plaire à tout le monde ), one year ago. She basically claimed that, should any pregnant woman be given the means to raise her kid, then abortion would become meaningless, since by nature, each and every woman wants to carry her child to term :roll: . Her main retort to the other debaters was "You're men, you can't understand this reasoning" until an astrologist fucktard ( Mrs Germaine "Elizabeth" Teissier ) silenced her by saying she disagreed with her. Oh, the irony, bullshit silenced by a bullshit spewer :evil: !

Well, there is also Guy Berthaut ( try a Google Search, and one of his articles ). The fucktard was seen ( photographied ) supporting YECs in a conference, and yet he insists on not being one himself. The really shameful part of it, though, is that he's a former pupil of the http://www.polytechnique.edu/Ecole%20Polytechique :roll: :shock: . Well, one or two ( if you include Bruno Mégret, head of one right-wing political formation ) misses in a thousand...

But that's as far as it gets. No dipshit of Coulter/Buchanan/Robertson calibre here AFAIK. Our fundies are tamer than yours :lol: .
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Post by Surlethe »

Meh. I registered on Rapture Ready to lurk to find some good fundie quotes, but I think I got banned -- there was an evolution thread, and there was a "the bible is valid science" thread, and I couldn't keep my mouth shut... :?

Anyway, here are some generic ones from over there:
++http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=204501
Well I believe marginalizing what was said isn't a wise move either. Whoever wrote this article has a legitimate right to be ticked off. I know Israel feels betrayed by Bush, and quite frankly, so do I. We shouldn't be whoremongering with the palestinians, especially in light of what G-d says about Israel. I'd be pissed too if Texas (where I'm from) was being split up and portions of it being given to Mexico, especially if the deal was brokered by England. We have no right to be doing what we're doin over there in Israel. Period. Peace with Islam is an oxymoron- there is no such thing. In fact, we know how Jesus is going to bring peace to the world when He returns- He's going to annihilate everyone that is an enemy of His. That's the only way Islam can be quenched. Destruction. It's sad that it's the only soultion, but I'm sure God knows what He's doing. Go Israel! True Christians are behind you 100%!
I believe that God's Word states that Israel IS God's chosen people. We (Gentiles)have been temporarily grafted in. At some point the "church" will become unfruitful and be uprooted and the original branches grafted back in. I feel we are FAST approaching that time. Then (during the tribulation) God will once again put all His attentions back on her, God's Bride. The Bride of Christ will be in heaven for the 7 year honeymoon. The covenant God made with the Jews/Israel was done by God alone...Abraham slept as God walked through the sacrafices alone...showing that the covenant cannot be broken by anything they did...it is 100% HIS promise. Those who bless Israel will be blessed. Israel is the apple of His eye. The "palestinians" can be absorbed EASILY into their own original lands, the suffering they are enduring are done by their OWN to play politics. When man tries to touch Jerusalem, God will stop it and woe to those who touch the apple of His eye.
Yes? I know this is going to sound blunt, but God gave that land to the Jews. Period. It is the only place in history where God ever gave anyone the title to a piece of land. Honestly, if I had the ability, I'd kick all the arabs out of the area given to the Jews in the bible, and let Israel reclaim all the land that she was promised. Yes, I know that this would infuriate the arabs and so on, but it's not their land. It never was. If there EVER was ANY land that didn't belong to the arabs, Israel is it- which is probably why they are lusting over it with such intensity. Ultimately, what is going to happen is Jesus is going to return and vaporize people that are lusting over the capital of the world and banish them to hellfire forever. That's God's ultimate soultion to this arab 'issue'. Truthfully, it shouldn't be up for debate. If the UN, US, and other collective governments knew what was good for themselves, they'd keep out of Israel's business and let her have all God originally promised her. Harley, I'm sure you've read what God has promised to do to the nations who mess with Israel, and I know that you know He's going to back up what He promised. God said don't mess with Israel. It best be time we start paying attention.
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Haruko
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Post by Haruko »

OMG, check out the following quote by a fundie at my forum:
  • "There is also a chance that we will be able to do things with our minds much easier. There is a Em force in the side of your brain, and humans will soon use that more in our evolution. I know this because some people can already use some of it like me. I'm a normal person but I learned how to use that force and can move somethings with my mind. Im not quite sure, this just a hypothesis."
    • -- Eva Unit 01, posting in the Human Potential topic.
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