The 10 Commandments of Driving

[Coyote]

Here is the article at MSNBC direct from Pope Ratty himself.

I'm going to go ahead and give kudos to the Church for this; if this is what it takes to get some people to drive like they have a brain then I say let 'em use what authority they have to encourage this. Besides, it's better they spend time this way than telling starving Africans that condoms are like little skins of Satan on your weenie.

The “Drivers’ Ten Commandments,” as listed by the document, are:

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

[Spice Runner]

Most people who claim to be Christian can't be bothered to remember the original 10 commandments let alone adhere by them. I doubt this will any different. Though good for the church for using its authority to try to make a difference.

[Colonel Olrik]

Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

Damn, this one sucks.

[Netko]

With the usual caveats about the CC, a pretty good use of their authority.

My main beef with it is the recommendation of prayer while driving. Supposedly it should consist of reciting the rosary, which should be well known so it shouldn't be distracting, but somehow I think the Vatican has a bit too high opinion of its flock's knowledge of its rituals - hence it being distracting and dangerous, and even if not I question their claim that it wouldn't be distracting.

Other then that, if it leads to a few more careful drivers, I'm all for it. Doubt it will though.

[Darth Wong]

While I applaud the Catholic Church's attempt to do something which is actually relevant and practical rather than their customary activities of buggering young boys and greasing the slide of Africa into hell, I really think they could have done a much better job with this list.

1. You shall not kill.

Cute, but the carnage on our roadways is generally not the result of deliberate killing; it's the result of negligence and recklessness.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

This doesn't really mean anything, and certainly doesn't offer useful advice.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

Is it just me, or does this sound like the message inside a fortune cookie?

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

That's not bad, although as I said, the biggest problem on our roads is negligence and recklessness, not failure to help injured motorists. At least in the news stories I see, people do tend to stop and try to help, or at least call emergency services.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

That's a pretty good one.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

Why be so charitable? Wouldn't it be better to advocate that we forcibly prevent people from doing so? How is it that the Catholic Church is so adamant and forceful about condoms, and so conciliatory about drunk driving?

7. Support the families of accident victims.

That's a good one too.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

Totally worthless tripe.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

How?

10. Feel responsible toward others.

Another fortune-cookie statement.

Of all those rules, only #5 and #7 are actually useful or beneficial advice. I guess that's similar to the original Ten Commandments, which are mostly crap except for a few practical and beneficial ones.

[aerius]

Where the hell is "Thou shalt not drive when you're fucking impaired"?

[Darth Wong]

Where the hell is "Thou shalt not drive when you're fucking impaired"?

It's vaguely inferred and mildly discouraged by #6. That's the sort of thing I'm talking about; any idiot with half a brain could have come up with a much better list.

[Patrick Degan]

Where is "I, the Lord, your God, drive an economy car. Thou shalt drive no cars before these"?

[Darth Wong]

Improved Ten Driving Commandments:

1. Thou shalt not drive while impaired by alcohol, other drugs, or debilitating conditions.

2. Thou shalt purchase a modest vehicle. Ostentatious displays of excessive wealth and power are for the Vatican, not for your car.

3. Thou shalt not compete with other drivers on the road. Do not take pride in passing others or keeping them from passing you.

4. Thou shalt not engage in distracting activities while driving, such as cell-phone conversations, laptop computing, reading, applying makeup, etc.

5. Thou shalt not play music in your car so loudly that others can hear it over the sound of their own radios.

6. Thou shalt not attempt to dress up your car like a Formula One race car, you fucking baggy-pantsed drooling idiot.

7. Thou shalt not refuse to allow other drivers to merge into your lane.

8. Thou shalt not tailgate.

9. Thou shalt respect legal right-of-way.

10. Thou shalt travel at the speed of traffic flow.

[CaptJodan]

I don't know, something about this story struck me wrong. In all the problems that exist within their own walls, it seems to me that this was hardly the area that the Catholic Church should be putting the majority of their time and effort in at the moment. Though, I echo the statments that at least they are making an effort to do something relevant.

Having said that, I find it highly unlikely that these 10 Commandments will succeed where secular law and common courtesy fail (the latter is easier to subvert, I know). Beyond what Mike kindly pointed out about how useless these were written up, even the faithful don't have to take much stock in them. While the original 10 Commandments had (supposedly) the word of God behind them, these are rules (seemingly randomly) made up by faliable man. I also question the honesty of using an association with the 10 badly written rules that nevertheless are supposed to be some of the most important in Christianty with....this.

[Shinova]

11. Thou shalt move your eyes constantly across the road far and near, and not keep them at six feet in front of you.

12. Thou shalt turn off your turn signals if you're not going to merge into someone else's lane, FOR GOODNESS ****KIN SAKES YOU TARDS!!!!!!!! And likewise turn your signal on if you're going to merge rather than SUDDENLY ZOOM IN FROM OUT OF NOWHERE ALMOST HITTING YOUR FRONT END!!!!!


*hyperventilates*

[Shinova]

Replace YOUR with MY.

[wolveraptor]

13. Thou shalt actually fucking try to give pedestrians the right of way, thou assholes. In fact, thou shalt make thy best effort to avoid car usage, and decrease the number of cars on the road. There ought to be more pedestrians and less individuals with their own damn SUV.

[Howedar]

Improved Ten Driving Commandments:

*****

I like yours more.

Nice of them to make an effort, and I do think there's some worth to all of that, but I'm not really overwhelmed by the church's massive insight on this issue.

FWIW, I read (the original) #6 as trying to keep 16-year-olds and 90-year-olds from being idiots, and didn't get any DUI sort of stuff out of it.

[HSRTG]

14. When near a construction zone, thou shalt get thine ass out of the closing lanes in a timely manner, and not rely on the charity of thy fellow drivers.

[Spin Echo]

Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

Damn, this one sucks.

Did anyone else take this part of the commandment to mean "no sex in the back seat" or am I just sexually frustrated?

[Alerik the Fortunate]

Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

Damn, this one sucks.

Did anyone else take this part of the commandment to mean "no sex in the back seat" or am I just sexually frustrated?

I did, and I'm definitely not sexually frustrated. Of course no moral code on any subject would be complete for the church without banning some sort of sexual conduct.

[Colonel Olrik]

Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

Damn, this one sucks.

Did anyone else take this part of the commandment to mean "no sex in the back seat" or am I just sexually frustrated?

I'm *mildly* sexually frustrated, and yes, that was my first thought

[Durandal]

When in the acceleration lane, thou shalt actually accelerate.

[Admiral Valdemar]

I'd be happy if people just followed the fucking Highway Code. I doubt, good as the revised Commandments are in this thread, that anyone would obey them even if officially from the RCC.

Driving is a chore when everyone else around you flouts the rules so often.

[Surlethe]

Did anyone else take this part of the commandment to mean "no sex in the back seat" or am I just sexually frustrated?

I guess I'm not sexually frustrtaed enough. I took it to mean "don't be an aggressive asshole".

[Elaro]

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

Oh yeah, totally. Because I don't think sin in the back of the car makes for very good sin.

[Coyote]

I'm sure that if you wanted to engage in non-enjoyable "conjugal relations" with your spouse, properly married in the Church and without a condom, then you can bone in the backseat all you want.

Just remember:
Do it only for procreation purposes, and, feel guilty afterwards.

[jegs2]

Just remember:
Do it only for procreation purposes, and, feel guilty afterwards.

Well, Sherri and I can't have kids, so guess it's guilt forever...

[RogueIce]

I'd be happy if people just followed the fucking Highway Code. I doubt, good as the revised Commandments are in this thread, that anyone would obey them even if officially from the RCC.

Driving is a chore when everyone else around you flouts the rules so often.

If only it were real though. We could use more smiting of idiot drivers.