Just for fun, I E-mailed the CAPAlert guy

[Darth Wong]

At one point on his site, he actually asks people to comment to him:

My true and understanding friends, by no choice of his own your CAPtain has become

1 Tim. 5:8 "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."

What is an infidel? Since you've asked I tell you. In accordance with Strong's, "Infidel" is apistos {ap'-is-tos}, unfaithful, faithless (not to be trusted, perfidious). "Perfidious", according to Apple's Dictionary (version 1.0.2) is treacherous, duplicitous, deceitful, disloyal, faithless, unfaithful, traitorous, treasonous, false, false-hearted,, two-faced, untrustworthy. I do not understand how my failure with His ministry thus my failure to provide for my family makes me unfaithful and perfidious but after serving up His Word undiluted and without counterfeiting it or situationally redefining it for nearly 13 years I am not about to question it. He said it and whether I believe it that settles it. I won't argue whether His Word applies but will try to figure out how I am in violation of it. I could use some help on this one if any of you is a seasoned pastor who has been given wisdom he is willing to share with me about 1 Tim. 5:8.

I saw this, and I couldn't help but wonder: if I wrote to him, would he respond? Only one way to find out, right?

You write:

"My true and understanding friends, by no choice of his own your CAPtain has become 1 Tim. 5:8 "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." What is an infidel? Since you've asked I tell you. In accordance with Strong's, "Infidel" is apistos {ap'-is-tos}, unfaithful, faithless (not to be trusted, perfidious). "Perfidious", according to Apple's Dictionary (version 1.0.2) is treacherous, duplicitous, deceitful, disloyal, faithless, unfaithful, traitorous, treasonous, false, false-hearted,, two-faced, untrustworthy. I do not understand how my failure with His ministry thus my failure to provide for my family makes me unfaithful and perfidious but after serving up His Word undiluted and without counterfeiting it or situationally redefining it for nearly 13 years I am not about to question it. He said it and whether I believe it that settles it. I won't argue whether His Word applies but will try to figure out how I am in violation of it. I could use some help on this one if any of you is a seasoned pastor who has been given wisdom he is willing to share with me about 1 Tim. 5:8."

I may not be a pastor, but did you ever consider the possibility that it simply means you must put your family first, rather than selfishly trying to score points with God by being one of his more visible servants?

I think you also need to reconsider your assumption that you have "planted 10,000,000 seeds". Many of the people who visit your site do so because they find your reviews humourous on many levels, from the garish website design to the fact that you try to paint a veneer of objective methodology on top of your opinions, not to mention the level of sexual repression implied by your incredibly strict treatment of sexually suggestive material (to the point that even the outline of a woman's body through her clothing is considered obscene).

And why do you say that your Christianity is a hurdle in getting a job? 80% of the country is Christian, and more to the point, corporate job applications do not ask for your religion anyway. The only way employers would know your religious beliefs is if you made a point of advertising it up-front, which is bound to make people uncomfortable even if they are Christians themselves, because it suggests that you will be just as obnoxious and intolerant in the workplace as you are on your website.

No doubt you will just dismiss this as "hate mail" and say that it's another example of terrible secular liberal left-wing extremists trying to hurt you, but that bunker mentality won't help you feed your family. You need to start thinking of practical realities instead of forcing your family to suffer for your spiritual ambitions.

I have two children myself, and I would do anything for them. If you won't change your activities or your job seeking approach for the sake of your children, you need to ask where your priorities lie. If you say "God first, children second", maybe that Biblical passage you cite was meant for you after all.

Lo and behold, he responded almost immediately:

I may not be a pastor, but did you ever consider the possibility that it simply means you must put your family first, rather than selfishly trying to score points with God by being one of his more visible servants?

I am certainly not trying to "score points" with God. My eternity is already secure and was before He started this ministry through me. And your intent in all this is clear by your attack statement implying I do not put my family first when I stated I am looking for secular work which will mean nearly the end of the ministry.

I think you also need to reconsider your assumption that you have "planted 10,000,000 seeds". Many of the people who visit your site do so because they find your reviews humourous on many levels,

Now it is clear that you simply do not know what it is we do since you think we do "reviews." And about the Seeds, whether a visitor comes for the Seeds s/he picks them up. Even the antagonistic such as yourself gathers a Seed or two every time you read one of our analysis reports: every time your eyes gather in a single verse; every time you read of the immorality of a behavior or image. It is inescapable.

from the garish website design

I do the best I can with no money to hire professional web designers. But then, which are you? The pot or the kettle with your website having not even one pixel of whitespace between text and left page border.

to the fact that you try to paint a veneer of objective methodology on top of your opinions,

I see you do not understand objectivity. Let me try to help you. For example, an image of a murder is cast on the screen. Either the murder is demonstrated on the screen or it is not. that the murder is seen is objective. To think there is justification for the murder is subjective.

not to mention the level of sexual repression

An engineer trying to be a psychoanalyst? G-i-v-e m-e a b-r-e-a-k! Either your own sexual repression is glaring through your false accusations of me having sexual repressions or your accusation of sexual repression is clearly a projection of your own. (That door swings both ways, son.)

implied by your incredibly strict treatment of sexually suggestive material (to the point that even the outline of a woman's body through her clothing is considered obscene).

Then sexual behaviors outside of a monogamous heterosexual marriage are not immoral? I could say by your attack of His Word regarding sexual behaviors and orientation we reveal that it is your pagan hedonism that attacks sexual purity and defends sexual freedom and be just as accurate. And probably am.

And why do you say that your Christianity is a hurdle in getting a job?

Because "Christian" is a dirty word to mainstream and politically correct America; to the ones with the jobs, not the ones holding or needing the jobs.

80% of the country is Christian, and more to the point, corporate job applications do not ask for your religion anyway.

This is the second time someone has tried to launch an attack with that "80% of the country is Christian" and conveniently leaving out the "over 50" part. More than 80% of the jobforce is younger than 50. And not all applications leave out the applicant's "religion." Most do but some don't. Besides, I don't go around broadcasting I am Christian to prospective employers but I am not ashamed of it and will not deny it if asked.

The only way employers would know your religious beliefs is if you made a point of advertising it up-front, which is bound to make people uncomfortable even if they are Christians themselves, because it suggests that you will be just as obnoxious and intolerant in the workplace as you are on your website.

Then they are making an unsound judgment before the fact. No one asks your faith in an interview. That is left up to the application if the company wants to know.

No doubt you will just dismiss this as "hate mail" and say that it's another example of terrible secular liberal left-wing extremists trying to hurt you,

It is what it is. No matter what brush you use to paint it.

but that bunker mentality won't help you feed your family.

I see you are a user of this free service but have not helped me feed my family. No matter. God is in control and all things will work for the good of someone.

You need to start thinking of practical realities instead of forcing your family to suffer for your spiritual ambitions.

If i were forcing them to "suffer" as you put it, then I would give some credibility to your attack.

I have two children myself, and I would do anything for them. If you won't change your activities or your job seeking approach for the sake of your children, you need to ask where your priorities lie. If you say "God first, children second", maybe that Biblical passage you cite was meant for you after all.

You must spend a lot of time trying to find Christian ministries to attack. And I see nothing herein that makes you act like an engineer. You sound more like the adolescent malcontent.

I see not reason to continue this, Mr. Wong. I will not see your email in our inbox again.

As you can see, he went for the Darkstar-style "take every paragraph apart into individual pieces of sentences and then attack every piece" style of rebuttal. I responded thusly:

I am certainly not trying to "score points" with God. My eternity is already secure and was before He started this ministry through me. And your intent in all this is clear by your attack statement implying I do not put my family first when I stated I am looking for secular work which will mean nearly the end of the ministry.

And what job skills have you acquired in order to facilitate this search? How constructively have you been using your time?

Now it is clear that you simply do not know what it is we do since you think we do "reviews." And about the Seeds, whether a visitor comes for the Seeds s/he picks them up. Even the antagonistic such as yourself gathers a Seed or two every time you read one of our analysis reports: every time your eyes gather in a single verse; every time you read of the immorality of a behavior or image. It is inescapable.

You really are quite full of yourself, aren't you? Trust me, the only thing I get from your reviews is laughter.

I do the best I can with no money to hire professional web designers. But then, which are you? The pot or the kettle with your website having not even one pixel of whitespace between text and left page border.

Since I've tested my site on IE6, IE7, Firefox, Konqueror, and Safari, I am curious: what browser are you using which would ignore the CSS formatting directives? Was it made in this century?

I see you do not understand objectivity. Let me try to help you. For example, an image of a murder is cast on the screen. Either the murder is demonstrated on the screen or it is not. that the murder is seen is objective. To think there is justification for the murder is subjective.

Counting murders is easy. What about "Impudence/Hate", which you quantify by counting the number of swear words? Do you not recognize the absurdity of quantifying the level of "Impudence./Hate" by looking at how many dirty words people use, or how often they lie? Or "Sexual Immorality", which you laughably quantify by simply assuming that anything which reveals the female form is immoral? Or "Offense to God", which is inevitably subjective because there is no objective evidence whatsoever for God's existence, never mind the question of what he finds offensive?

You don't know what objectivity is. You can't make subjective opinions "objective" by simply finding ways to count things that you have subjectively valued a certain way.

An engineer trying to be a psychoanalyst? G-i-v-e m-e a b-r-e-a-k!

You don't need to be a psychoanalyst in order to see that somebody who thinks the mere sight of the female body is "sexual immorality" obviously has issues.

Either your own sexual repression is glaring through your false accusations of me having sexual repressions or your accusation of sexual repression is clearly a projection of your own. (That door swings both ways, son.)

You probably think it's really clever to just copy criticisms and throw them back at others, don't you? Like a schoolyard child saying "Oh yeah? Well ... YOU are the stupid head!"

Then sexual behaviors outside of a monogamous heterosexual marriage are not immoral?

Not if they don't involve actually cheating on someone. When my wife wears a swimsuit on the beach, she's not cheating on me. The fact that people can see the shape of her body doesn't change that. And if she sees some muscular guy in a Speedo and takes a second look, that's not cheating on me either. That's just human nature. No one will ever eliminate adultery by attempting to suppress all of their natural feelings. Enlightened people find a way to trust and commit to a partner while accepting that those kinds of feelings exist.

I could say by your attack of His Word regarding sexual behaviors and orientation we reveal that it is your pagan hedonism that attacks sexual purity and defends sexual freedom and be just as accurate. And probably am.

You're new to this whole "debating" concept, aren't you? Here's a hint: you can't accuse a guy of "sexual repression" in one paragraph and then accuse him of "pagan hedonism" in the next. Which is it? Do you think I'm sexually repressed, or do you think I'm a sexually ravenous "pagan hedonist"? Inquiring minds want to know.

Because "Christian" is a dirty word to mainstream and politically correct America; to the ones with the jobs, not the ones holding or needing the jobs.

That's an outright lie, which you tell yourself in order to bolster your absurd persecution complex.

This is the second time someone has tried to launch an attack with that "80% of the country is Christian" and conveniently leaving out the "over 50" part.

If you had any useful job skills, you could still get a job over 50. Even if it's not a very good one.

More than 80% of the jobforce is younger than 50. And not all applications leave out the applicant's "religion." Most do but some don't. Besides, I don't go around broadcasting I am Christian to prospective employers but I am not ashamed of it and will not deny it if asked.

I have NEVER seen any secular company that demands to know a prospective employee's religion before hiring him. It's actually against the law to do so where I live, so I think I'll take your claims to the contrary with a rather large grain of salt.

Then they are making an unsound judgment before the fact. No one asks your faith in an interview. That is left up to the application if the company wants to know.

Which companies make you state your religion on the application? And if such companies do exist in your area, what makes you think they don't WANT to see "Christian"?

Did it ever occur to you that maybe you're having trouble finding a job because you have nothing to offer the company?

I see you are a user of this free service but have not helped me feed my family. No matter. God is in control and all things will work for the good of someone.

I have a website too. I don't try to guilt-trip people into giving me donations, because I have a job to pay the bills. You occasionally watch movies and then write short reviews: 14 reviews in the last 2 months. That is not a full-time occupation. You should have time to get a job.

If i were forcing them to "suffer" as you put it, then I would give some credibility to your attack.

Ah, so they're suffering just enough for you to guilt-trip all of your site's visitors for not putting food in their mouths, but not quite enough for my accusation to have merit? That's quite a high-wire balancing act you've got there.

You must spend a lot of time trying to find Christian ministries to attack. And I see nothing herein that makes you act like an engineer. You sound more like the adolescent malcontent.

You obviously have no experience working with engineers (or any other educated professionals). We're regular people who laugh, cry, and get into arguments with others, not sterile eggheads who never get into arguments or express personal opinions.

I see not reason to continue this, Mr. Wong. I will not see your email in our inbox again.

Is this your preferred method of ending arguments? Simply attempt to silence or ignore the other party, like a schoolyard child sticking his fingers in his ears? How ironic that you would accuse anyone else of being childish.

It is clear that you are too busy feeling sorry for yourself to do anything to improve your situation, or that of your children. No doubt responding angrily to my E-mail temporarily distracts you from your problems, but it won't solve them.

I would wish you luck in providing for your family, but luck is not what you need. You need an attitude adjustment. You'll never make your way in the secular world if you approach it every day as an enemy. I feel sorry for you all.

What do you think? Was that condescending enough?

He hasn't answered the second one yet. I actually send it from my other E-mail address, but I'm guessing he was true to his word and deleted it the instant he saw it in his inbox (he seems genuinely afraid of dealing with criticism).

Maybe I'll put this up on one of my websites. I found his bizarre thinking rather amusing.

[Davis 51]

Beautifully worded.

I guarantee he read it before deleting it. I used to be afraid of criticism when I was a younger, more stubborn teenager, and one thing I did was, even when I swore up and down I wouldn't respond, I still read them. And it got to me

This guy's debating style does remind me of my younger, more foolish self. Your criticisms get to him. Though at 50, I doubt he would be able to change his ways. Whereas I had 14 years of thinking I was infallible, and it took me many years to get over myself and my own teen ego. This guy has 50 odd years of bullshit under his belt. For him to admit he's wrong would destroy him.

[CaptainZoidberg]

2 reviews per week doesn't seem like all that much work, but you're point might be more persuasive if you said how long it took you to review Nemesis/Insurrection, and then compared it to the time it would take to get a full time job.

But as it stands you did a pretty good job of debating him. And yes, he probably did read it.

[SpacedTeddyBear]

The only part of his reply that had any sort of credibility was the part of his trouble of finding a job because of his age/religion. And that is going out on a limb.... a very long limb. I've been prepping my own resume and looking at job applications for a number of companies ( Coherent, Newport, and etc..) and none of their applications that I saw ever asked for your religion, not even ethnicity. There might be some biotech companies who might inquire because some of the tasks that they are required to do that might be offensive to certain religious beliefs.

[Superman]

"You don't need to be a psychoanalyst in order to see that somebody who thinks the mere sight of the female body is "sexual immorality" obviously has issues."

Awesome.

[PeZook]

Now it is clear that you simply do not know what it is we do since you think we do "reviews." And about the Seeds, whether a visitor comes for the Seeds s/he picks them up. Even the antagonistic such as yourself gathers a Seed or two every time you read one of our analysis reports: every time your eyes gather in a single verse; every time you read of the immorality of a behavior or image. It is inescapable.

Did anybody else get the impression of a Chaos apostle screaming "CHAOS CANNOT BE DENIED!!!"?

Does he think that someone who laughs at his reviews will one day wake up and say: "Oh my God, what have I done?! Lord, forgive me! I repent!!!"

[Ford Prefect]

Did anybody else get the impression of a Chaos apostle screaming "CHAOS CANNOT BE DENIED!!!"?

The only problem with that analogy is that the foaming at the mouth cultist with stitches in his eyes and a rusty machete ready to gut anyone within twenty feet is actually fairly justified in his belief, in comparison.

I will admit that I could only give his e-mails a very cursory skim. The way he worded his sentences were offensive to mine eyes. I've been to CAPalert and I found that the actualy 'content' of his 'reveiws' hurt my eyes a lot more than his stupid looking website. This guy is drowning in his self-righteousness. This is probably the first time I have been physically unable to read something, despite his actual spelling and sentence structure being next to impeccable. I imagine that if I spoke to him in person, for the thirty seconds before I smushed in his face with the nearest phonebook that the only thing I'd hear coming out of his mouth would be a wordless, droning hum, rattling around in my inner ear.

[K. A. Pital]

Did anybody else get the impression of a Chaos apostle screaming "CHAOS CANNOT BE DENIED!!!"?

Way too dry for Chaos; but pretty much works for the Borg. "Resistance is futile".

[Zablorg]

That was brilliant. I hope he responds.

Around half a year ago I contacted that guy Mike posted about who claimed that evolution had zero scientific backing. He asked me to prove that it did in the first place, mumbled something about the universes rotation and blocked my email adress forever more. Interestingly enough, no-one to my knowledge has blocked Mike when they confront him on their terms.

[The Grim Squeaker]

An engineer trying to be a psychoanalyst? G-i-v-e m-e a b-r-e-a-k! Either your own sexual repression is glaring through your false accusations of me having sexual repressions or your accusation of sexual repression is clearly a projection of your own. (That door swings both ways, son.)

Nuff said .

The rest is quite amusing as well, although his usage of "seeds" and "Sprouting" all the time is a bit...odd.
The guy has at least 6 kids, right? Wonder how many more seeds he's sown, with him not being sexually repressed while he talks about he most certainly is not sexually repressed, unlike you, you, you, Sexually repressed person!
Sexist.

[Flagg]

This is the guy that claimed Hitler and the Devil joined forces during WW2 in his 'Saving Private Ryan' "review"! Yeah, his engine runs on unleaded insanity.

[PeZook]

This is the guy that claimed Hitler and the Devil joined forces during WW2 in his 'Saving Private Ryan' "review"! Yeah, his engine runs on unleaded insanity.

That review was gut-wrenchingly hilarious.

First he spends a paragraph saying how indebted he is to the soldier who fought World War II, and then:

OMG! THERE'S VIOLENCE IN A WAR MOVIE!

THE SOLDIERS SWEAR IN THIS MOVIE

SOLDIERS TALK ABOUT SEX OMG THIS UNDERMINES MORALITY!

And so on

[Ender]

Mike is sexually repressed, huh?

Could be true. It's been a while since we discussed the wonders of anal sex.

[Broomstick]

I saw this, and I couldn't help but wonder: if I wrote to him, would he respond? Only one way to find out, right?

You, sir, are deliciously evil

I may not be a pastor, but did you ever consider the possibility that it simply means you must put your family first, rather than selfishly trying to score points with God by being one of his more visible servants?

I want a t-shirt that says this that I can hawk in the flea market next to the new Fundy church than went up on my street.

I think you also need to reconsider your assumption that you have "planted 10,000,000 seeds". Many of the people who visit your site do so because they find your reviews humourous on many levels

But - but - Mike he's so SERIOUS! NO ONE could possibly treat ETERNAL DAMNATION AND THE WORD OF GOD as a joke!

And why do you say that your Christianity is a hurdle in getting a job? 80% of the country is Christian, and more to the point, corporate job applications do not ask for your religion anyway.

In the US it is illegal to ask for a person's religion prior to hire (there are a few exceptions - for example, if you were applying for a job at, say, the Chicago archdiocese of the Catholic Church asking your religion could be appropriate).

I may not be a pastor, but did you ever consider the possibility that it simply means you must put your family first, rather than selfishly trying to score points with God by being one of his more visible servants?

I am certainly not trying to "score points" with God. My eternity is already secure and was before He started this ministry through me. And your intent in all this is clear by your attack statement implying I do not put my family first when I stated I am looking for secular work which will mean nearly the end of the ministry.

Oh, no! Not the end of the ministry!

I think you also need to reconsider your assumption that you have "planted 10,000,000 seeds". Many of the people who visit your site do so because they find your reviews humourous on many levels,

Now it is clear that you simply do not know what it is we do since you think we do "reviews."

Methinks he is not clear what he is doing.

And about the Seeds, whether a visitor comes for the Seeds s/he picks them up. Even the antagonistic such as yourself gathers a Seed or two every time you read one of our analysis reports: every time your eyes gather in a single verse; every time you read of the immorality of a behavior or image. It is inescapable.

Jeebus is like rabies - you can catch it by exposure to someone frothing at the mouth. If you are touched by the contagion you can't escape it's influence, and eventually it will consume you with or without your consent - what a sick, twisted viewpoint.

from the garish website design

I do the best I can with no money to hire professional web designers. But then, which are you? The pot or the kettle with your website having not even one pixel of whitespace between text and left page border.

I have got to check out this website. Seriously, there are canned web layouts he could use that exude Professional Inoffensiveness.

not to mention the level of sexual repression

An engineer trying to be a psychoanalyst? G-i-v-e m-e a b-r-e-a-k! Either your own sexual repression is glaring through your false accusations of me having sexual repressions or your accusation of sexual repression is clearly a projection of your own. (That door swings both ways, son.)

Mike Wong sexually repressed?

implied by your incredibly strict treatment of sexually suggestive material (to the point that even the outline of a woman's body through her clothing is considered obscene).

Then sexual behaviors outside of a monogamous heterosexual marriage are not immoral?

What's that song from Hair....? "Sodomy can be fun"?

I could say by your attack of His Word regarding sexual behaviors and orientation we reveal that it is your pagan hedonism that attacks sexual purity and defends sexual freedom and be just as accurate.

Atheist hedonism. You should correct him on this, Mike.

And why do you say that your Christianity is a hurdle in getting a job?

Because "Christian" is a dirty word to mainstream and politically correct America; to the ones with the jobs, not the ones holding or needing the jobs.

Wah-wah-wah - I NEED a job! It's Satan's fault I can't get one! Wah! Why won't Jeebus give me a job?

Meanwhile, Jeebus is thinking "STFU, quite whining, and do something useful"

80% of the country is Christian, and more to the point, corporate job applications do not ask for your religion anyway.

This is the second time someone has tried to launch an attack with that "80% of the country is Christian" and conveniently leaving out the "over 50" part. More than 80% of the jobforce is younger than 50. And not all applications leave out the applicant's "religion." Most do but some don't.

Where the fuck is he applying for a job, that they're asking him for his religion? And such jobs aren't secular.

Yeah, looking for work when you're over 50 is more difficult, but seriously - has he tried Wal-Mart? THEY hire old geezers. Of course, they're employees aren't allowed to proselytize at work, either. This may be a problem for this guy.

Besides, I don't go around broadcasting I am Christian to prospective employers but I am not ashamed of it and will not deny it if asked.

I suspect he's "broadcasting" Fundy vibes without realizing it.

The only way employers would know your religious beliefs is if you made a point of advertising it up-front, which is bound to make people uncomfortable even if they are Christians themselves, because it suggests that you will be just as obnoxious and intolerant in the workplace as you are on your website.

Word.

Then they are making an unsound judgment before the fact. No one asks your faith in an interview. That is left up to the application if the company wants to know.

Uh, right, because all Christians are automatically moral, reliable, useful employees.

And I repeat - it is illegal to ask religion prior to hire unless it has a direct and inescapable impact on the job (you won't get a job as a rabbi if you aren't Jewish, for example). An applicant can volunteer such information but it can not be asked for by the prospective employer.

but that bunker mentality won't help you feed your family.

I see you are a user of this free service but have not helped me feed my family. No matter. God is in control and all things will work for the good of someone.

You evil, bad person - visiting a free website without forking over your atheist dollars for Jeebus! Wah-wah-wah! Jeebus will hit you with a karma stick - oh, wait, he's a Christian, he doesn't believe in karma, which is an evil pagan thing, but GOD WILL GET YOU IN THE END wah-wah-wah what goes around comes around!

I have two children myself, and I would do anything for them. If you won't change your activities or your job seeking approach for the sake of your children, you need to ask where your priorities lie. If you say "God first, children second", maybe that Biblical passage you cite was meant for you after all.

You must spend a lot of time trying to find Christian ministries to attack.

Naw - it's just that you trip over the goddamned things all the time, there's just so many upstart "ministries". It's not like you have to look for them.

And I see nothing herein that makes you act like an engineer.

Um... maybe because neither of you were discussing engineering?

You sound more like the adolescent malcontent.

He sounds like a repressed old fart and a failure.

I see not reason to continue this, Mr. Wong. I will not see your email in our inbox again.

La-la-la-la - I CAN'T HEAR YOU! la-la-la-la.... (peeks to see if you're still there and listening) La-la-la-la - I CAN'T HEAR YOU! la-la-la-la....

And what job skills have you acquired in order to facilitate this search? How constructively have you been using your time?

None and not at all, unless you count kneeling in prayer and reading the Bible.

Or "Offense to God", which is inevitably subjective because there is no objective evidence whatsoever for God's existence, never mind the question of what he finds offensive?

But - but - it's in the BIBLE!!!! If you just read the Bible you, too, will be infected with the Jeebus virus!

You don't need to be a psychoanalyst in order to see that somebody who thinks the mere sight of the female body is "sexual immorality" obviously has issues.

Quite. That would make me sexual immoral for bathing with my eyes open.

Do you think I'm sexually repressed, or do you think I'm a sexually ravenous "pagan hedonist"? Inquiring minds want to know.

I'm still voting for atheist hedonist for you. You like having certain of your bits rubbed because it feels good, not because some invisible sky pixie approves or disapproves.

Because "Christian" is a dirty word to mainstream and politically correct America; to the ones with the jobs, not the ones holding or needing the jobs.

That's an outright lie, which you tell yourself in order to bolster your absurd persecution complex.

Word.

This is the second time someone has tried to launch an attack with that "80% of the country is Christian" and conveniently leaving out the "over 50" part.

If you had any useful job skills, you could still get a job over 50. Even if it's not a very good one.

I dunno, Mike, the US economy really does suck right now.... naw, you're right. He could, for instance, paint houses with me. On second thought, no - I'm pretty sure I'd kick him off a ladder before lunch for being an obnoxious Fundy asshole.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe you're having trouble finding a job because you have nothing to offer the company?

But - but - he's a perfect candidate because he has the JEEBUS VIRUS!!!!

You'll never make your way in the secular world if you approach it every day as an enemy.

But Mike - that's exactly the way he see the secular world. He really does view it as The Enemy.

[SCRawl]

My take is that you'll never hear from him again. He probably knows that he's outclassed, and your criticisms are a little too "on the nose" for him to brush them off out of hand.

Still an excellent smack-down, though.

[Broomstick]

Well, I actually looked at the website.

Dude, when someone who's colorblind wants to puke at your layout it is bad! And badly organized/laid out.

Seriously, though - any entertainment conforming to his standards would be no entertainment at all. Well, maybe Gregorian chanting would be OK. The Saving Private Ryan review was most telling - objection to showing the actual gore and violence of a movie that was intended to show war? Don't let children know that soldiers swear? I though he objected to lying!

What a fucking loon!

[Lonestar]

I have NEVER seen any secular company that demands to know a prospective employee's religion before hiring him. It's actually against the law to do so where I live, so I think I'll take your claims to the contrary with a rather large grain of salt.

I am reminded of the King of the Hll episode where, upon being informed that he cannot legally ask someone his religion in a job interview, Hank Hill has as part of the interview process "Who would you rather have breakfast with? (A) Muhammad (B)Jesus (C)Moses."

For some CRAZY REASON I think the Capalert guy would do the same if he were giving job interviews.

[Ted C]

Maybe I'll put this up on one of my websites. I found his bizarre thinking rather amusing.

The whole story might make an interesting anecdote on CreationTheory.org, particulary since the guy is such a staunch creationist.

[Instant Sunrise]

Something tells me that this guy still wants movie to adhere to the Hay's Code. It was considered uptight as hell in the 1930's and it only got worse over the years.

Look at a movie like "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf," which uptight assholes like this guy tried to block because a character said such FILTH as "screw you" and "hump the hostess."

Actually, I'm starting to think that it would be hilarious to e-mail him the full text of the code and ask if that was more to his liking.

[Losonti Tokash]

Don't let children know that soldiers swear? I though he objected to lying!

What a fucking loon!

IIRC, his objection was not just the depiction of soldiers swearing, but even the idea. I believe he went on a short tirade about Hollywood trying to denigrate soldiers by implying that they would do something as horrible as cuss.

[General Zod]

Well, I actually looked at the website.

Dude, when someone who's colorblind wants to puke at your layout it is bad! And badly organized/laid out.

It looks like someone tried building a website using Geocities but without actually paying any attention to layout or color coordination. Hell, I could probably design a better looking website in Geocities and I'm far from a professional web designer.

[Feil]

I'm sorry, I just can't get past "I may not be a pastor" without dying of laughter.

[Eulogy]

I see you do not understand objectivity.

Fucking sigged. Awesome, Mike.

[The Cooler King]

Jeebus. I started reading his CAP reviews for a laugh back when I went to see Blade 2 in theaters. After the movie, I checked IMDB to see what other critics thought of it, and found his site. I nearly sprayed Coke all over my computer screen, and ever since, I've checked up occasionally. Now, seeing Mr. Wong's email exchange, I'm glad I'm not drinking Coke this time.

For some reason, he reminds me of this old joke...



An old woman is waiting out a flood. The waters rise to the point that she needs to go to the second floor of her house. A neighbor comes by in his boat, and tells her to come with him.

"No, thank you," she says primly. "The Lord will provide."

The water continues to rise; she has to escape to the attic. A second boat comes by, and rescuers call for her to get in the boat.

"No, thank you," she says again. "The Lord will provide."

The waters continue to rise, and she ends up on the roof. A Sheriff's department boat comes by, and the deputies plead with her to go with them.

"No, thank you," she says yet again. "The Lord will provide."

The waters continue to rise, and eventually, overwhelm the house. The old woman drowns. Still dripping, and now angry, she shows up in Heaven. She looks unbelievingly at God, spluttering as she says, "My Lord... I was faithful! I followed Your commandments, I did as You asked-- why did you let me drown? Why didn't you provide for me?"

God, exasperated, says, "For Chrissakes, lady-- I sent three boats!"

[Themightytom]

Someone should email him and say "Tom, I sent Mike to talk you out o this "CAP" thing. Seriously its not working out."
-God



Although that would of course be a sin to impersonate God.