When Theobiologists Go Bad

ClaysGhost · Post by **ClaysGhost** » 2003-05-12 11:19am

(I hope this hasn't been posted before; I searched the board but couldn't find mention of it).

Behold, and smirk:

http://crossspot.net/objective/slot.html

I did, anyway. Some favourite lines:

In Eden, all was perfectly ordered. There was no entropy.

How did Adam and Eve manage to get up in the morning? Presumably the second law was suspended in Eden so that the poor dears could transform food into waste heat and useful work. Which makes the following statement self-contradictory as well as incorrect:

The Second Law is just that - a Law. It applies everywhere in the Universe, without exception. Unlike mere theories such as Relativity and Evolutionism, the Second Law has been proven to be true and no reputable scientist would ever suggest that it wasn't

Whatever "theobiology" is, the particular practioner writing the article doesn't seem familiar with the idea of falsifiability. Or even the statistical nature of the particular "law" in question.

What is it with the mention of relativity? I know why this guy is going after evolution, but not relativity. Anyone know what Einstein did to annoy some of the Lord's faithful?

Furthermore, the very existence of the Second Law - and other so-called "Laws of Nature" such as the Laws of gravity and motion

So, if relativity is out, we're left with Newtonian mechanics. Which is ok, but a divine law shouldn't really become inaccurate under realisable conditions, should it? And it shouldn't end up disagreeing with the "laws" of Ampere, Gauss, Faraday et al. Perhaps they're just insufficiently divine.

Some other site highlights:

http://crossspot.net/objective/moon.html

http://crossspot.net/objective/creationsciencefair.html

Hear that, women across the globe? That's the sound of some twerp from the Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair, 2001, attempting to demonstrate that you were designed to be paid less than a man for the same day's work, amongst other things (using a circular argument if the reporting is accurate).

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-05-12 11:35am

Ah I don't even think I'll bother starting to read that, it'll only give me a headache and wish another few members of the human race didn't exist.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-05-12 12:07pm

Are you sure it is not a parody site? Check out the 'science' fair page to see what I mean.

ClaysGhost · Post by **ClaysGhost** » 2003-05-12 12:41pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:Are you sure it is not a parody site? Check out the 'science' fair page to see what I mean.

I really, really hope it is a parody, because otherwise the Godless Communists were defeated with the help of a man who cannot formulate decision matrices correctly.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-05-12 12:50pm

Well, that science fair part is so funny that one must wonder if it actaully is a parody, especially with the "Pokemon Prove Evolution is False", "Prayer Unlocks Genes", and the 8th grade student that supposedly disproves countless experiments by scientists proving that certain amino acids could come from non-life by putting a few items in a class jar and praying God woudln't interfere. If it isn't a parody, then humanity is in a far sadder state than previously thought.

Also, you might want to check out this link:

http://crossspot.net/objective/shutdown.html

If you don't want to click, then here are a few notable quotes:

The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [ref. 1, 2, 3] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.

Landover Baptist also targets our youth. They regularly do articles about some pop-culture entertainment that has a loyal teen or preteen following (such as the singing group In Sync, who are in fact Christians) that contain intentional lies and slanders designed specifically to cause those youthful and naive fans to consider the authors of the articles to be either idiots or evil or both - and they do this in the appropriated name of our Lord!

[/quote]

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-05-12 01:32pm

What the heck is a "theobiologist??"

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-05-12 01:37pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:What the heck is a "theobiologist??"

Someone with only religious credientials who tries to use his feable knowledge of science to force reality to conform to religious preconceptions.

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2003-05-12 04:38pm

I wonder if that IS a parody site. The various sections tell people to accost strangers in the mall and yell at security and refuse to move if they're asked to leave, tells people to stuff tracts in Halloween candy, and tells people it's okay to smack and yell at Atheists if you happen to come upon some.

Some of that is too outlandishly stupid to be believed.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-05-12 05:35pm

Specifically, it claims that the minuscule amount of genetic information that would have been in the first Godless proto-lifeform would have increased through the addition and ordering of random mutations.

This bit is the bit that makes it seem more parody than the rest imo. Calling the first lifeform "godless" for one (i mean wtf?!), and saying random mutations are ordering...kinda a contradiction there. If it's a random mutation that's beneficial it'll be passed on via reproduction, if it's not beneficial it'll be wiped via natural selection.

I hope to their god that it's a parody i really do.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-05-12 05:40pm

http://crossspot.net/objective/moon.html

This bit of the site makes me 75% sure it is a piss take.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-05-12 05:47pm

Yes. I like how the Moon is vibrating in ancient Aramaic.

It's probably Dahak saying "Get off my body, you damn punk kids!"

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-05-12 05:53pm

Rye wrote:http://crossspot.net/objective/moon.html

This bit of the site makes me 75% sure it is a piss take.

This site has to be joking. Please somebody tell me it's a joke.

Hobot · Post by **Hobot** » 2003-05-12 06:34pm

http://crossspot.net/objective/kidz.html

rofl, read the part about Atheists =P

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-05-12 06:40pm

Hobot wrote:http://crossspot.net/objective/kidz.html

rofl, read the part about Atheists =P

Already been there. They like kids because they'll buy anything and stick with it, eliminating the need to make a point.

I still think the "science" fair part was scarier, though.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-05-12 06:42pm

Yes, you must have very advanced witnessing techniques.

Yogi · Post by **Yogi** » 2003-05-12 06:43pm

Actually, when I try to go to http://crossspot.net/ I get redirected to http://crossspot.com/ which is evidently a Christian web hosting service.

Sorry to buest your bubble, but it's real.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-05-12 06:49pm

Yogi wrote:Actually, when I try to go to http://crossspot.net/ I get redirected to http://crossspot.com/ which is evidently a Christian web hosting service.

Sorry to buest your bubble, but it's real.

Holeeeeeeeee shit. What do we do now?

NapoleonGH · Post by **NapoleonGH** » 2003-05-12 06:50pm

Laugh, really really hard

[edit] Yay just noticed im no longer a youngling but a padawan, woot [/edit]

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-05-12 06:51pm

Yogi wrote:Actually, when I try to go to http://crossspot.net/ I get redirected to http://crossspot.com/ which is evidently a Christian web hosting service.

Sorry to buest your bubble, but it's real.

I've just come back from seeing Dreamcatcher with some mates and nearly got mugged by a tramp doped up on sugar sachets from McDonals, yet this is scarier than anything Lancaster's streets could throw at me.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-05-12 06:55pm

look at this

http://crossspot.net/objective/babyj.html

they CAN'T be serious, surely!

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-05-12 09:02pm

They're applying game theory to Christian apolgetics. I doubt that would turn up on a parody site, seeing how obscure game theory is among the general public. They threw me off with their page about Landover Baptist, because that IS a parody site, but apparently they're serious about trying to get it taken off the Internet.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-05-12 09:15pm

Heh, I just noticed their webhost is a "Christian Webhosting Solution"

If the site is actually a parody... Heh. Oh, the irony...

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-05-12 09:18pm

http://crossspot.net/objective/moon.html

The Moon Testifies:
The moon was created on the fourth day of the Creation Week:

And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:

And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.

And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth.

And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.

[Gen. 1:14-18]

The core of the moon is essentially a large crystal of metallic iron. When it is struck by meteorites (or moon landers) it will reverberate for a period of time - depending on the strength of the impact - much as a tuning fork does. The reason we do not hear the moon reverberating in the sky is that sound waves do not propagate through the vacuum of space that is between the moon and earth. However, in 1969, Apollo astronauts placed seismic devices on the moon's surface to measure the reverberations directly. These devices recorded the impacts of meteorites as expected, but they also picked up a strange, persistent, low-frequency waveform. When the waveform was run through audio processing computers which sped it up and applied various filters to it, it was discovered to be an echoing voice. The voice was speaking in ancient Aramaic!

NASA has refused to release these recordings to the public (for the obvious reason that it contradicts their evolutionistic position) and the details of what the voice was actually saying have not been uncovered directly. We know it was something in Aramaic since at the time NASA had brought in linguists to try and decipher it, and after a week all but the one who knew the ancient tongue were allowed to return home. However, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand what this voice truly represents: The core of the moon still reverberates with the Lord's words from the day when He created the Heavens.

Of course, that just begs the question of how the sound reached the moon in the vaccum of space...

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-05-12 09:19pm

Rye wrote:look at this

http://crossspot.net/objective/babyj.html

they CAN'T be serious, surely!

Somehow, I doubt that Jesus looked caucasian.

NapoleonGH · Post by **NapoleonGH** » 2003-05-12 09:22pm

Exonerate wrote:Of course, that just begs the question of how the sound reached the moon in the vaccum of space...

More importantly, dont those people realize that God Speaks queen's english? Havent they ever WATCHED a movie with god in it? he always has the accent of an english nobleman.