More Jack Chick lies and offensiveness

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-10-23 06:05pm

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0090/0090_01.asp

Dear god, not a hole that 10 AIDS viruses can get through! What the hell had they been doing to those condoms? And I didn't think that donkeys carried AIDS...

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-23 06:09pm

What the fuck.

Does Chick actually believe people talk like this in real life? These characters are so flat and unrealistic it's laughable.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2002-10-23 06:25pm

Nice that Chick thinks that HIV=AIDS. And that being HIV+ means that Suzie is terminal, ignoring the fact HIV+ individuals can live healthfully for a number of years before symptoms of AIDS appear.

Who want's to bet that the publication he cited is affiliated with him?

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2002-10-23 06:29pm

I think Wong should make an official Chick-bashing thread.

'The Anals of Jack T. Chick'

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2002-10-23 06:31pm

Better yet, somebody needs to start up a publishing run of parody tracts...

Colby Jack: Heavenly Delight, or THE CHEESE OF SATAN?

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-10-23 06:41pm

If I had m4d ph0t0zh0p ski11z and the time a MST#K would be forthcoming.

Yogi · Post by **Yogi** » 2002-10-23 06:49pm

One thing that always annoys me about the Chick tracts are the bad writing and art. I mean, not counting the message within (which is complete and utter bull to begin with), the quality of the story eriting itself is something I would expect better out of junior high school students. I wonder how much time he actually puts into it.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2002-10-23 08:25pm

Wonder if the Anti-Porn guy jerks off to Chick tracts?

Ingersoll · Post by **Ingersoll** » 2002-10-23 08:26pm

Jack Chick makes a better Satan than the (kof) real one

Mr. B · Post by **Mr. B** » 2002-10-23 08:32pm

Wow, what a huge surprise another christian fundie strip from jack chick. And it's expressing christian morals that date from the time when women were viewed as pieces of property. This is just so shocking to me.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2002-10-23 08:37pm

So? It's fun to talk about how screwed up he is.

Don't be such a wet blanket.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-10-23 10:32pm

Jack Chick, what an idiot. Oh well, Karma really does work, people tend to find really bad ends on their own. I find it richly Ironic.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-10-23 10:35pm

Cyril wrote:I think Wong should make an official Chick-bashing thread.

'The Anals of Jack T. Chick'

Goddammit, Cyril! Do not mention the word "anal" and "Jack T. Chick" in the same fucking sentence again! Ever!

Hotfoot · Post by **Hotfoot** » 2002-10-23 10:47pm

Darth Wong wrote:
Cyril wrote:I think Wong should make an official Chick-bashing thread.

'The Anals of Jack T. Chick'
Goddammit, Cyril! Do not mention the word "anal" and "Jack T. Chick" in the same fucking sentence again! Ever!

Wow...so Mike does have his limits.

How about "Jack T. Chick is a fucking anal-rententive fundie moron"?

oberon · Post by **oberon** » 2002-10-23 10:49pm

Did you see what GOD did to us, man?

God didn't do that--you did! Goddamn narcotics agent, I knew it!

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2002-10-23 10:51pm

Nope, that's verboten. Remember Jack T. Chick. And. Anal can't go in the same sentence. (I hope that punctuation prestidigitation got me around it, but probably not.) What about, "Jack T. Chick bangs dead antelopes on the Serengeti Plain?"

((Waits for the inevitable Smack-Down))

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-10-23 11:20pm

Heh,

I am waiting for Rod Sirling vs. Jack Chick, how would the Twilight Zone, end up dealing with him.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-10-23 11:40pm

THe Yosemite Bear wrote:Heh,

I am waiting for Rod Sirling vs. Jack Chick, how would the Twilight Zone, end up dealing with him.

Turn him into a Jack-in-the-Box, of course!

(I'll assume everyone saw that episode)

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-23 11:42pm

Yeah, irritating episode. That kid irked the hell out of me. I'd be a dead man if I ever ran into him.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-10-23 11:59pm

*IG-88 thinks "Damn Kid's so fucking annoying, and one day he will grow up to play Lennier on B5, better kill him"*
*Billy Mumy send him to the Corn Field*

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-24 12:03am

My point exactly.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-10-24 12:38am

Hard to believe that is the same little kid that was on Lost in Space, and later B5.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » 2002-10-24 10:07am

Safe sex = unsafe sex = HIV = Aids = You BURN IN HELL SINNER. What is wrong with that idea? Grr some ppl are so fuckin inbred and stupid. thats why i always leave this page till last, the stupidity of findies makes me so mad

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2002-10-24 10:15am

THE TRUE HISTORY OF JACK CHICK

From early childhood, it was obvious that Jack Chick had an ability to be an asshole. He even failed the first grade when the teacher realized he was a fucking loser. As he grew, Jack was constantly being an asshole to those around him, honing skills that would allow his dog to use him later in an obscene way.

While in high school, even the most forgiving Christians avoided him because he was into sodomizing small animals. They all agreed that he was a fuckhead who needed to die.

After dropping out of high school, Jack robbed a bank to pay for community college. His studies were interupted by a twenty year sentence for knocking over the bank. It was here that he met his soulmate, Tiny.

After they both got out of the joint, Jack returned to college. He married Tiny a year after this. While visiting Tiny's dysfunctional family, Jack learned that there was a lot of money in being a prostitute. After learning this, he dedicated his life to selling himself for crack.

Once married, Jack sold his body to earn a living. He had always wanted to be a prostitute, but, now that he was married, he desired to use his talents for Tiny's benefit.

While working under Silky the Pimp in Queens, Jack was standing on his corner reading a copy of So you Wanna be an Asshole, given to him by a wino for sex. He remembers "That book pushed my button. I went to a brothel and realized that's where I belonged." So he started selling himself to get some extra money.

He couldn't find a publisher willing to publish a book about prostitution, so we were saved his drivel for a while. Unfortunately, he was able to get the money from Tiny to let him publish his book himself.

Right after the book was printed, he was walking down the road when he saw a group of teens on the sidewalk. He at first felt disgust at the teens, but then realized that selling them to Silky could get him money for another book.

Within 15 minutes, a nightmare began. After going home and selling the boys for crack, Jack decided to draw some pitiful stick figures. Unfortunately, he was able to publish this as well.

Jack learned from a drug runner in China that lots of Chinese had been drawn to Communism by cartoona. He realized quickly that this could be a way to get more whores for Silky.

Not long after, he was arrested for drug possession, and was able to get his message to the inmates of the prison. He drew more of his pitiful stick figures to convince the inmates. Nine of eleven inmates he was speaking to are now succesful prostitutes with Silky. Jack became convinced that he was better than Silky, and tried to take the prostitutes and form his own ring.

Using his kitchen for his brothel, Jack continued selling himself. Throughout the early years, over eight thousand men came to Jack for services. Jack recalls "It was hard. Sometimes I had eight customers a night. And, to make matters worse, Silky had kept the best of the prostitutes.

But demands for his body increased. Jack was forced to hire better guys to take some of the load. Soon, word got out through the city, and Jack was forced to expand to cover most of New York.

For nearly forty years, Jack has been selling himself. He has serviced hundreds of thousands of men in this time, and his other men serviced countless more.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2002-10-24 10:45am

ROTFLMFAOPIMP!!!