Fucked up Bible passage of the day

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Fucked up Bible passage of the day

Post by Vympel »

From 2 Kings

"23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD . Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria. "

So, here we have the all-loving God having 42 children mauled by bears for teasing an old bald guy. Wonderful. I emailed this passage to a Christian friend. Will keep you updated on what he thinks.
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Re: Fucked up Bible passage of the day

Post by haas mark »

Vympel wrote:From 2 Kings

"23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD . Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria. "

So, here we have the all-loving God having 42 children mauled by bears for teasing an old bald guy. Wonderful. I emailed this passage to a Christian friend. Will keep you updated on what he thinks.
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Post by Stormbringer »

And there are people that consider that book a guide to living a moral life? Jeez, fucking fundy idiots.
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Post by IDMR »

If the bible was a Monty Python sketch, I can just see Elisha emitting a weak oops and a forced giggle...

"Not quite[/1] what I had in mind, Lord..."
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Post by Vympel »

IDMR wrote:If the bible was a Monty Python sketch, I can just see Elisha emitting a weak oops and a forced giggle...

"Not quite[/1] what I had in mind, Lord..."
\


ROFLMAO :)

I can picture that right now ....
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Post by haas mark »

Vympel wrote:
IDMR wrote:If the bible was a Monty Python sketch, I can just see Elisha emitting a weak oops and a forced giggle...

"Not quite[/1] what I had in mind, Lord..."
\


ROFLMAO :)

I can picture that right now ....


ROFLMAO!!!
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Post by aerius »

I don't know why, but I keep seeing "up to Bethel" as "up to the Brothel", and I think it actually makes more sense that way. :D
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Post by Spoonist »

Judges 1 wrote: 19 And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.
Remember your chariot of iron if you want to live!

Hmm, is that why he no longer smites the infidels...
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Post by haas mark »

Fucked up Bible passage of the day:
The Bible wrote:"In the beginning.........."the end."
Chew on that.

mew.

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Post by The Dark »

Not to excuse Elisha (that passage gives me trouble too), but the word translated as "youths" is the same word used to describe the soldiers of the Israeli army, so they were more along the lines of a modern-day street gang than a bunch of innocent children. *Shrug* I'm afraid I'm not sure how that passage is meant to be interpreted in the mainline church, though I'm sure the fundies would say it's to show God's wrath towards the unbeliever or some such.
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Post by Darth Wong »

The Dark wrote:Not to excuse Elisha (that passage gives me trouble too), but the word translated as "youths" is the same word used to describe the soldiers of the Israeli army, so they were more along the lines of a modern-day street gang than a bunch of innocent children. *Shrug* I'm afraid I'm not sure how that passage is meant to be interpreted in the mainline church, though I'm sure the fundies would say it's to show God's wrath towards the unbeliever or some such.
It is irrelevant whether they meant "youths" or "children". They were brutally slain for making fun of somebody's bald spot! Would you kill a teenager for making fun of somebody's baldness?
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Post by Andrew J. »

Darth Wong wrote: Would you kill a teenager for making fun of somebody's baldness?
Maybe if it was my bald spot. But otherwise, no. :D
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Post by HemlockGrey »

They were brutally slain for making fun of somebody's bald spot!
No...they were mauled. Brutually near-slain. There's a difference; corporal punishment is positive reinforcement.


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Post by Sea Skimmer »

*Adds another reason to 3 meg "Why the Bible is the real evil" list"
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Post by Darth Yoshi »

Amazing. And to think the believers think that they are the moral pillar of the universe.
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Post by Durandal »

If the bible was a Monty Python sketch, I can just see Elisha emitting a weak oops and a forced giggle...

"Not quite what I had in mind, Lord..."
Yes, God does seem overly willing to maul people.
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Post by Vympel »

The answer from my Christian friend was because you don't believe in God you can't say its REALLY wrong. :roll:
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Post by haas mark »

Vympel wrote:The answer from my Christian friend was because you don't believe in God you can't say its REALLY wrong. :roll:
And he can say its right because he does? What if I were to say that I thought it was worng, debated as a Christian, won, and then told him I was pagan? That would just be too much.
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Post by Tsyroc »

verilon wrote:
Vympel wrote:The answer from my Christian friend was because you don't believe in God you can't say its REALLY wrong. :roll:
And he can say its right because he does? What if I were to say that I thought it was worng, debated as a Christian, won, and then told him I was pagan? That would just be too much.
Better yet, tell him you're a Satanist. You believe in God but have come to the conclusion that God is an evil bastard and that Satan was justified in trying to overthrow him.

He'll still probably dismiss what you have to say but for a different reason. :twisted:
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Post by haas mark »

Tsyroc wrote:
verilon wrote:
Vympel wrote:The answer from my Christian friend was because you don't believe in God you can't say its REALLY wrong. :roll:
And he can say its right because he does? What if I were to say that I thought it was worng, debated as a Christian, won, and then told him I was pagan? That would just be too much.
Better yet, tell him you're a Satanist. You believe in God but have come to the conclusion that God is an evil bastard and that Satan was justified in trying to overthrow him.

He'll still probably dismiss what you have to say but for a different reason. :twisted:
True, true...or, I could tell him that I AM God, and technically, he can't say shit about it, because he can neither prove nor disprove it (trust me, I have had this argument SEVERAL times with Larz)

mew.

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Post by Dargos »

Genesis Chp 19 v4-8

19:4
But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:

19:5
And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.

19:6
And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him,

19:7
And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.

19:8
Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.


So its ok to offer up your kids to be gang raped as long as you protect your male guests eh? Gee...I CAN FEEL GODS LOVE :shock:
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Post by Dargos »

PS... in Bibleish(TM) to "know" someone is to have sex with them
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Post by neoolong »

verilon wrote:
Tsyroc wrote:
verilon wrote: And he can say its right because he does? What if I were to say that I thought it was worng, debated as a Christian, won, and then told him I was pagan? That would just be too much.
Better yet, tell him you're a Satanist. You believe in God but have come to the conclusion that God is an evil bastard and that Satan was justified in trying to overthrow him.

He'll still probably dismiss what you have to say but for a different reason. :twisted:
True, true...or, I could tell him that I AM God, and technically, he can't say shit about it, because he can neither prove nor disprove it (trust me, I have had this argument SEVERAL times with Larz)

mew.

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Hehe. I've debated someone to the point where by their logic either God doesn't exist, or I am God, their choice.
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Post by haas mark »

neoolong wrote:
verilon wrote:
Tsyroc wrote: Better yet, tell him you're a Satanist. You believe in God but have come to the conclusion that God is an evil bastard and that Satan was justified in trying to overthrow him.

He'll still probably dismiss what you have to say but for a different reason. :twisted:
True, true...or, I could tell him that I AM God, and technically, he can't say shit about it, because he can neither prove nor disprove it (trust me, I have had this argument SEVERAL times with Larz)

mew.

Yes, I am evil.
Hehe. I've debated someone to the point where by their logic either God doesn't exist, or I am God, their choice.
Cool. Well, I reiterate. The fucked up Bible quote of all time:

"In the begining..........................the end."

mew.

Yes, I am evil.
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Post by Vympel »

The reply:

"The term "youth" in the passage is derived from the Hebrew word "na'ar" which was used to implied a person of a young age, but not always. The word "na'ar" was also used to describe Isaac when he was the age of 28 (Gen 22:5) or Joseph (Gen 42:12) or Rehoboam when he was fully grown(2 Chr 13:7).

Here the little children were the infidel young men of Bethel who were worshippers of the Golden Calf instead of Jehovah. I agree that it was God who sent the bears. The term "bald head" had no special reference to a lack of hair, but instead was a term of contempt, translated similarly to "worthless fellow." Thus it was equal to blasphemy of God when the young men mocked the prophet of Jehovah, Elijah.

If you recall, the bible heavily emphasises the point that we should respect our elders. This term elder, is not exclusive to just ppl who are older (e.g. Parents, old ppl) but also to the Elders of the church, such as a the prophet Elijah.

Was such treatment justified? Yes. If people show disrespect towards elders of the church they should be punished. However, it's important to note, that Elijah himslef did not physically attack the youths, but God did. For it is up to God to decide what the punishment should be in cases such as this.

Justice for slandering one of the most righteous prophets in history"
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