Holy Mushrooms, Jesus!

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-11-15 07:49pm

From http://www.ncbuy.com/news/wireless_news ... 56L8021030

Did Jesus Eat Magic Mushrooms At Last Supper?

SANTA CRUZ, Calif. (Wireless Flash) -- Chew on this: An ethnobotanist in Santa Cruz, California, thinks Jesus was munching magic mushrooms at the Last Supper.

Clark Heinrich says man has enjoyed the psychedelic effects of mushrooms since thousands of years before Christ -- and figured the King of Kings probably turned on as well.

In fact, he thinks Jesus was high on a psychedelic 'shroom known as "fly agaric" which was hailed for its taste as well as its trips.

Heinrich says the mushroom resembles pita bread and when soaked with water it feels exactly like human skin. He figures that's the bread that Jesus was referring to at the last supper when he said "eat this bread, this is my body."

But that's not the only way Jesus might have doled out psychedelics. Heinrich says people who eat lots of shrooms have a reddish-orange urine that's even more hallucinogenic -- and figures the almighty turned water into wine by whizzing into a five-gallon jug of H20.

Heinrich is the author of a new book, "Magic Mushrooms In Religion And Alchemy" (Park Street Press).

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2002-11-15 07:52pm

Wow.

Disturbing to say the least.

data_link · Post by **data_link** » 2002-11-15 07:52pm

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2002-11-15 07:54pm

WTF???

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-11-15 07:56pm

Possible and very very disturbing.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2002-11-15 07:58pm

So a 2000+ year old religion that has caught the minds and hearts of over a billion people was started by a man who also happened to be a druggie and was perhaps in la-la land most of the time.

Can you imagine the world's response if this is proven?

zombie84 · Post by **zombie84** » 2002-11-15 07:58pm

that would be interesting, if it werent for the fact that the man is fictional.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-15 08:01pm

heehee....that WOULD be interesting....

and zombie: there is this thing we like to call a PSEUDONYM. YOu know, just in case someone doens't want to be killed by masses of pirchfork-waving fundies.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2002-11-15 08:03pm

The mushroom-Jesus idea has been floating around for years and years. If proven, ohhh, the mayhem!

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-11-15 08:04pm

Wow. It all makes sense. Now, if only there was some proof.

starfury · Post by **starfury** » 2002-11-15 08:05pm

that was very funny and disturbing.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-15 08:11pm

Of course, this would explain all the sightings of God, why Jesus said he was the SOn of God....Hell, this could eliminate both CHRISTIANITY AND JUDAISM!!!!

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2002-11-15 08:12pm

Looks like you can't get into heaven unless you believe in a druggie as your savior, huh?

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2002-11-15 08:33pm

Yes... a drugged up jesus would go greatly into my plan to destroy those fundie Christians

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-11-15 08:56pm

neoolong wrote:Wow. It all makes sense. Now, if only there was some proof.

Whizzing into a jar of water may seem strange, but it does not violate any laws of physics. Therefore, it's already far superior to the popular theory that he waved his hands and caused elemental transmutation to occur through his Divine Power.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-15 08:58pm

Darth Wong wrote:
neoolong wrote:Wow. It all makes sense. Now, if only there was some proof.
Whizzing into a jar of water may seem strange, but it does not violate any laws of physics. Therefore, it's already far superior to the popular theory that he waved his hands and caused elemental transmutation to occur through his Divine Power.

True...but I think too many people's "morals" might step in the way of that one.

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2002-11-15 09:14pm

Durandal wrote:snip

But that's not the only way Jesus might have doled out psychedelics. Heinrich says people who eat lots of shrooms have a reddish-orange urine that's even more hallucinogenic -- and figures the almighty turned water into wine by whizzing into a five-gallon jug of H20.

Heinrich is the author of a new book, "Magic Mushrooms In Religion And Alchemy" (Park Street Press).

Brings new meaning to "this wine taste like piss"

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2002-11-15 09:16pm

Darth Wong wrote:
neoolong wrote:Wow. It all makes sense. Now, if only there was some proof.
Whizzing into a jar of water may seem strange, but it does not violate any laws of physics. Therefore, it's already far superior to the popular theory that he waved his hands and caused elemental transmutation to occur through his Divine Power.

I would imagine that this would depend on how much of the 'Divine wine' people had drunk

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-11-15 09:57pm

Makes you wonder how priests "bless" the wine at communion.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-15 10:07pm

Durandal wrote:Makes you wonder how priests "bless" the wine at communion.

Funny. No, really, it is....[/sarcasm]

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-11-15 10:12pm

Oh lighten the fuck up.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-15 10:21pm

Durandal wrote:Oh lighten the fuck up.

I am. I just happen to have a lot of Catholic relatives. I'm sorry if I find your joke a bit offensive.

Post by **Vympel** » 2002-11-15 10:31pm

Bah my Uncle is Greek Orthodox (I'm supposed to be that too) and he makes jokes about the priests pissing in holy water all the time.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-11-15 10:34pm

verilon wrote:
Durandal wrote:Oh lighten the fuck up.
I am. I just happen to have a lot of Catholic relatives. I'm sorry if I find your joke a bit offensive.

Almost my entire family is Catholic, and I myself was raised Catholic. I think I've earned a right to poke fun at that monolithic, self-serving institution for burdening me with needless guilt and attempting to brainwash me for so many years.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-15 10:50pm

Durandal wrote:
verilon wrote:
Durandal wrote:Oh lighten the fuck up.
I am. I just happen to have a lot of Catholic relatives. I'm sorry if I find your joke a bit offensive.
Almost my entire family is Catholic, and I myself was raised Catholic. I think I've earned a right to poke fun at that monolithic, self-serving institution for burdening me with needless guilt and attempting to brainwash me for so many years.

So is mine, and so was I. I even got Confirmed. But I still don't think that gives any rights to poke fun at any group of people. And if you want to call it needless guilt, that's fine, but I never felt it.

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