B-Grade fundie cinema

Dooku's Disciple · Post by **Dooku's Disciple** » 2005-09-20 10:56pm

Has anyone ever bothered to sit through films like Left Behind, Thief In The Night or their ilk? As part of my ongoing research into rapture myths and the stupidity thereof, I stumbled across articles about these movies on the very day I saw a Simpsons episode that took the piss out of them.

For the morbidly curious, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Thief_in_the_Night or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left_Behind

DD

nickolay1 · Post by **nickolay1** » 2005-09-20 11:01pm

Wikipedia article for A Thief in the Night wrote:The plot follows Patty Jo Myers, who is left behind after the Rapture. Her husband was raptured, but she is left to survive against the new world order UNITE (United Nations Imperium for Total Emergency).

I won't even bother reading about the second one.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2005-09-20 11:20pm

More material for the intrepid crew of the famed Satellite of Love.

Dooku's Disciple · Post by **Dooku's Disciple** » 2005-09-20 11:25pm

*sings* "He TRIED to kill me with a forklift..."

I'm honestly not sure why I keep reading about stuff like this. It's nonsense of course, but addictive nonsense. I think of it as gathering material for a novel on the subject, but it's not going to happen any time soon.

DD

Akhlut · Post by **Akhlut** » 2005-09-20 11:30pm

The plot follows Patty Jo Myers, who is left behind after the Rapture. Her husband was raptured, but she is left to survive against the new world order UNITE (United Nations Imperium for Total Emergency).

Wait, is this how the Imperium of Man gets started? So, the Rapture's really the ending of the Age of Strife when the GEoM finally reveals himself and takes humanity on an age of asskicking? Fuck yeah, sign me up for that!

More seriously, though, I have to wonder how the hell they came up with this shit. Everyone who isn't a fundie clearly sees Revelations as an allegory for Rome and whatnot.

Temjin · Post by **Temjin** » 2005-09-20 11:56pm

I'm pretty sure I've seen Left Behind around 5 years ago in the theatres. According to the movie poster, it was supposed to be one of the best armageddon movies to come out for years. I thought it was refering to an end of the world movie (like Deep Impact and Armageddon) but I was very wrong.

I don't really remember that much about the movie, but I remember thinking that it was crap. And not just because it was a film based on the rapture (done right, I think a film based on the rapture could be entertaining). The plot of the movie never seemed to pick up. Thousands of people go missing. People wonder why. Some people learn the truth. The anti-christ is elected head of the U.N. Credits roll.

It was half a movie.

It cost me only two dollars, but I still fell so cheated.

wolveraptor · Post by **wolveraptor** » 2005-09-21 12:15am

Left Behind is a series of books, I think. "A Thief in the Night" is the movie.

Temjin · Post by **Temjin** » 2005-09-21 12:19am

wolveraptor wrote:Left Behind is a series of books, I think. "A Thief in the Night" is the movie.

Before I posted, I did a quick search on IMDB to make sure that the movie existed and that it was the same one I watched. It is.

18-Till-I-Die · Post by **18-Till-I-Die** » 2005-09-21 04:58am

I read one of the Left Behind books, because i like post-apocalypse stories. I also saw the movie with Kirk Cameron of all people. Aside from the fact that some characters have names like Dirk Strongarm and Hunt Lancer and shit

it's actually not as overly religious, or didnt seem so to me, as one would expect. It basically plays like one of those b-movie disaster flicks, and the scene when the women has a car accedent on a freeway gets out and realizes the car ahead of her--as well as hundreds of others--are completely empty with lie people's clothes all that's left, that was cool. I thought it was ok, i would rent it if i had an urge to see some b-movie disaster BS and it's better than some b-movie disaster BS out there, like the unimaginably shitty Dean Cain movies Final Encounter and Post Impact...ugh.

Just my opinion. I'd give it a B cause it's a B-movie, it's not terrible and it didnt seem any more religious than any other disaster film i've seen except for the idea of teh Rapture being the disaster. Not everyone's cup'o'tea obviously but it wasnt terrible. The acting was, surprsiingly, not 'good' but 'fairly adequate' or perhaps 'acceptible' unlike most of these movies. And like i said there was some cool scenes. Another is when teh Antichrist, i think his name wa slike Nikolai Cain or something, was 'taking over' the minds of the UN and he was doing like a Jedi mind trick on them.

Elheru Aran · Post by **Elheru Aran** » 2005-09-21 08:20am

The Antichrist in LaHaye and Jenkins' Left Behind series is Nicolae Carpathia (a rather blatantly obvious reference to the late Romanian dictator).

That said, I'd rather slam my dick between two of those Left Behind books than watch one of the movies...

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2005-09-21 08:57am

Temjin wrote:I'm pretty sure I've seen Left Behind around 5 years ago in the theatres. According to the movie poster, it was supposed to be one of the best armageddon movies to come out for years. I thought it was refering to an end of the world movie (like Deep Impact and Armageddon) but I was very wrong.

I don't really remember that much about the movie, but I remember thinking that it was crap. And not just because it was a film based on the rapture (done right, I think a film based on the rapture could be entertaining). The plot of the movie never seemed to pick up. Thousands of people go missing. People wonder why. Some people learn the truth. The anti-christ is elected head of the U.N. Credits roll.

It was half a movie.

It cost me only two dollars, but I still fell so cheated.

Hmm...
Who here would love to see a Monty Python-esque take on Rapture? Something along the lines of "Shaun of the Dead", maybe?

Setesh · Post by **Setesh** » 2005-09-21 12:10pm

If you want true B-movie quality the Omega Code movies are your ticket to laughter. Both center around the mythical 'bible code' that fortells the events of the last days. It amused me to no end that the 'devil' in both is not only the same actor, Micheal York, but has the same name, Stone Alexander. Virtually the same plot, but the second one had a bigger budget.

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2005-09-21 02:45pm

Ok, When I was a naive middle schooler, I saw many of these films, and I love disaster and apocalypse movies. So here is the list

The Omega Code
The Omega Code 2: Megiddo(this series has a problem in that the two films are incompatible with each other, but whatever)

Left Behind
Left Behind 2:Tribulation Force(if this series was done as a TV miniseries, it would 've done a lot better, in all departments)

Apocalypse
Revelations
Tribulation
Judgement
(an interesting series, the last one has Mr. T in it as the O.N.E.(One Nation Earth) puts God on trial(I never watched this one, just rolled my eyes at the concept)

Jalinth · Post by **Jalinth** » 2005-09-21 05:34pm

I've rented at least two of these not realizing what they were (they were my "what the hell" pick). Kirk Cameron isn't that great of an actor.

Not terrible movies, but definitely B-grade.

Junghalli · Post by **Junghalli** » 2005-09-21 09:03pm

Akhlut wrote:
The plot follows Patty Jo Myers, who is left behind after the Rapture. Her husband was raptured, but she is left to survive against the new world order UNITE (United Nations Imperium for Total Emergency).
Wait, is this how the Imperium of Man gets started? So, the Rapture's really the ending of the Age of Strife when the GEoM finally reveals himself and takes humanity on an age of asskicking?

The irony is that would be incalculably cooler than what I'm sure the author intended it to be. I'm not sure how compatible it would be with present 40K fluff but seeing how the Imperium evolved from our world would be totally kickass.

Elheru Aran · Post by **Elheru Aran** » 2005-09-21 09:36pm

Junghalli wrote:
Akhlut wrote:
The plot follows Patty Jo Myers, who is left behind after the Rapture. Her husband was raptured, but she is left to survive against the new world order UNITE (United Nations Imperium for Total Emergency).
Wait, is this how the Imperium of Man gets started? So, the Rapture's really the ending of the Age of Strife when the GEoM finally reveals himself and takes humanity on an age of asskicking?
The irony is that would be incalculably cooler than what I'm sure the author intended it to be. I'm not sure how compatible it would be with present 40K fluff but seeing how the Imperium evolved from our world would be totally kickass.

Well, technically, afraid not. The Emperor does not appear until long after the Dark Age of Technology, approximately... M29, IIRC. Somehow, I don't think we've got Stone Men, Iron Men, Titans, and the like, by the early 21st century, which is the favorite time for current apocalyptic literature...

wolveraptor · Post by **wolveraptor** » 2005-09-21 10:40pm

Temjin wrote:Before I posted, I did a quick search on IMDB to make sure that the movie existed and that it was the same one I watched. It is.

Arg, why is it always a formula?

"...the [insert adjective] scientist invented a remarkable formula which can reanimate the dead/create a special breed of supersoldier/magically solve all of life's dilemnas."

Junghalli · Post by **Junghalli** » 2005-09-23 03:16pm

Elheru Aran wrote:Well, technically, afraid not. The Emperor does not appear until long after the Dark Age of Technology, approximately... M29, IIRC. Somehow, I don't think we've got Stone Men, Iron Men, Titans, and the like, by the early 21st century, which is the favorite time for current apocalyptic literature...

Well, under the timeline I would pull out of my ass to explain how UNITE turned into the IoM the Great Crusades probably wouldn't start for a while. There'd be a fairly long period needed for the Emperor to consolidate his rule over all mankind and for Earth technology to become high enough.

It actually makes a certain thematic sense. The Godly get uplifted in the Rapture and the ungodly and their descendants are left to face the bloody dark future of 40K.
Now I just need to figure out how to work Event Horizon into it.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2005-09-23 03:28pm

Speaking of embarrassing Christian media, wouldn't it be interesting if someone made a Veggie Tales porno movie? All the usual characters would be there..., or in there to be more precise.

Alliance SpecForceTrooper · Post by **Alliance SpecForceTrooper** » 2005-09-23 03:55pm

Just as an aside,

I think I remember seeing a History Channel presentation about how the Rapture supposedly came to be in our modern mythology. IIRC, it was actually an idea from the 19th Century and has no basis in The Book of Revelations. It was the ramblings of some Millenialist Fundamentalist (hmmm...wonder if thats an actual term) that claimed God was gonna save those of his church in 1850 or so. Then when 1850 rolled around, it was changed to 1855 and so on and so forth.

I ain't no Biblical scholar, but this seems to ring true as I remember nothing about The Rapture in the actual New Testament. Besides...the Book of Revelations was a political commentary on the state of the Roman Empire at the time of John.

As for the movies....eh...I'll stick with post-Apocalyptic Zombie, Plague or Nuke movies.

outcast · Post by **outcast** » 2005-09-24 05:45pm

I got one of those kinds of movies called Megiddo that follows some guy becoming head of the european union and then the world with only the US (oh say can you see??? from sea to shining overpatriotic fundie bullcrap sea)
, Mexico, and China resisting. So finally the antichrist reveals himself for what he really is and starts threathening the others around including the president of the US, who just happens to be the antichrist's brother.

The chinese kicked ass though in there.

antichrist: (paraphrased) "Your people are dying of floods and plagues, when will you join the world union so we can help your people?"

chinese leader: "We could lose half a billion people and still be strong."

totally bad ass.

then the antichrist collects all the armies of his territories on the plains of megiddo for the final battle which is 'sure to come', and the chinese come to, having bowed to his wishes. Only for their tanks to start blowing the shit out of him along with the americans and mexicans. That was kind of cool. But only because the guy playing the antichrist was a fucking annoying prick.

Erik von Nein · Post by **Erik von Nein** » 2005-09-25 04:49am

Wicked Pilot wrote:Speaking of embarrassing Christian media, wouldn't it be interesting if someone made a Veggie Tales porno movie? All the usual characters would be there..., or in there to be more precise.

Does hentai count? 'Cause it exists and it's as hedious as you could possibly believe.