Hypothetical Bible Revision Project
Moderator: Alyrium Denryle
Hypothetical Bible Revision Project
Would anyone be interested in revising the Bible so that it made sense, and brought across a moral message? Or is this just not possible?
'After 9/11, it was "You're with us or your with the terrorists." Now its "You're with Straha or you support racism."' ' - The Romulan Republic
'You're a bully putting on an air of civility while saying that everything western and/or capitalistic must be bad, and a lot of other posters (loomer, Stas Bush, Gandalf) are also going along with it for their own personal reasons (Stas in particular is looking through rose colored glasses)' - Darth Yan
'You're a bully putting on an air of civility while saying that everything western and/or capitalistic must be bad, and a lot of other posters (loomer, Stas Bush, Gandalf) are also going along with it for their own personal reasons (Stas in particular is looking through rose colored glasses)' - Darth Yan
Re: Hypothetical Bible Revision Project
Why would we want to do that, as opposed to just writing a new one?Straha wrote:Would anyone be interested in revising the Bible so that it made sense, and brought across a moral message? Or is this just not possible?
I am capable of rearranging the fundamental building blocks of the universe in under six seconds. I shelve physics texts under "Fiction" in my personal library! I am grasping the reigns of the universe's carriage, and every morning get up and shout "Giddy up, boy!" You may never grasp the complexities of what I do, but at least have the courtesy to feign something other than slack-jawed oblivion in my presence. I, sir, am a wizard, and I break more natural laws before breakfast than of which you are even aware!
-- Vaarsuvius, from Order of the Stick
-- Vaarsuvius, from Order of the Stick
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Lagmonster
- Master Control Program
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That text is beyond hope. If you want a book you can guide your life by, I recommend constructing a large text teaching everyone about basic morals, scientific principles, and the comedy of Groucho Marx.
Then tuck a copy of the Victoria's Secret catalogue between the pages, and you're a go.
Then tuck a copy of the Victoria's Secret catalogue between the pages, and you're a go.
Note: I'm semi-retired from the board, so if you need something, please be patient.
Hey I want to revise it to stop all these Fundies from quoting it, and showing how there could be another, smarter way of interpetating it.
I personally guide myself by Atlas Shrugged.
I personally guide myself by Atlas Shrugged.
'After 9/11, it was "You're with us or your with the terrorists." Now its "You're with Straha or you support racism."' ' - The Romulan Republic
'You're a bully putting on an air of civility while saying that everything western and/or capitalistic must be bad, and a lot of other posters (loomer, Stas Bush, Gandalf) are also going along with it for their own personal reasons (Stas in particular is looking through rose colored glasses)' - Darth Yan
'You're a bully putting on an air of civility while saying that everything western and/or capitalistic must be bad, and a lot of other posters (loomer, Stas Bush, Gandalf) are also going along with it for their own personal reasons (Stas in particular is looking through rose colored glasses)' - Darth Yan
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Lagmonster
- Master Control Program
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- Location: Ottawa, Canada
Oh, just write fiction. Yours is as good as theirs. You might hand out the Tolkein novels. Hell, I half-wrote a book where the biblical god was actually a local shepherd with a big sense of humor and access to a crashed space craft full of advanced technology.
Note: I'm semi-retired from the board, so if you need something, please be patient.
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Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
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Even if we tried rewriting it, the fundies would say "You can't do that! God will kill you! We want to justify our bigotry!". I just say we add a discaimer to each copy, saying:
Hey, fundie? Going to read this, and preach the bigotry as if it were the word of God? What makes this book any more word of God than the Koran, Torah, or script to Casablanca? Can you answer that? If you really want to be convinced, then turn to Mark 16:18, and take the poison challenge. Put that in your straw and suck it!
BotM: Just another monkey|HAB
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Patrick Degan
- Emperor's Hand
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The Jeffersonian Bible
You really can't outdo Thomas Jefferson, who simply deleted the entire Old Testament, the entire Gospel of John and half that of Matthew, everything after the Gospels, and every reference to supernatural miracles and assembled a single annotated testament of the simple life story and philosophy of Jesus —ending with his martyr's death and burial.
If you want a revised bible, just pick up a copy of Jefferson's at your local Barnes & Noble.
If you want a revised bible, just pick up a copy of Jefferson's at your local Barnes & Noble.