For real?

[Stormbringer]

weemadando, it's not that they lie about where they live or if they are male or female, there are other ways they lie. They can lie about their past. Lie that they were in an accident to gain sympathy. There have been lots of ways I've been lied to.

That and it's easy to have a completely different personality on the net than in real life. To a lot of people the net is consequence free and the real world isn't.

[Kelly Antilles]

weemadando, it's not that they lie about where they live or if they are male or female, there are other ways they lie. They can lie about their past. Lie that they were in an accident to gain sympathy. There have been lots of ways I've been lied to.

That and it's easy to have a completely different personality on the net than in real life. To a lot of people the net is consequence free and the real world isn't.

That's it exactly. I am far from fake. In real life, I'm a bitch and a half, just like I am here. It's wrong to project yourself as something you aren't on the net. That's what RPGs are for.

[Cpt_Frank]

I take everything someone new tells me with a pinch of salt, regardless if it's real life or internet. It's indeed harder to tell if someone is lying to you on the web, but if someone sprouts at every imaginable (off-topic) instance details about his life (which doesn't even have to be extraordinary) I'd say he's more likely to be a liar. Not guaranteed, but more likely.

[haas mark]

weemadando, it's not that they lie about where they live or if they are male or female, there are other ways they lie. They can lie about their past. Lie that they were in an accident to gain sympathy. There have been lots of ways I've been lied to.

That and it's easy to have a completely different personality on the net than in real life. To a lot of people the net is consequence free and the real world isn't.

That's it exactly. I am far from fake. In real life, I'm a bitch and a half, just like I am here. It's wrong to project yourself as something you aren't on the net. That's what RPGs are for.

That si an excellent point. I do my best to NOT looj like someone/thing I'm not...I expect the same from others, but I also lie to myself (in a way) that they really are who they are online...

[Edi]

Relationships and friendships that are made on the net can be just as deep and lasting and meaningful as RL ones. Depends on the people involved. I've made several good friends on the net from all over the world. There's people I've trusted with a lot of personal stuff, because I know I can trust them. And how do I know? Well, they weren't fake. I knew them long enough on the net before talking about those sort of things, and it was obvious (to me at least) from their messages that they were telling the truth, just being themselves. Once you know what to look for, it's pretty easy to develop a sort of sixth sense or gut feeling about people you meet online, and one that you can trust to be fairly accurate too. Not infallible, never that, but it can get very accurate. One thing that's usually a good clue is if people are willing to talk about some aspects of their personal lives and families and such casually, especially if it happens several times over a longer period of time, because chances are it's true then. Liars tend to get tripped up by self-contradictions.

If we take this board, for example, let's see: I don't know many people here all that well and I assume it's safe to say that even fewer know me to any extent (unless they go and hunt down my infrequent posts and then read through them and the other posts around that give them context), but I've already got a basic gut feeling about some people here.

The whole of Stardestroyer.net gives a ton of material on Mike, and labels him as trustworthy a person as you're liable to find anywhere. No shiny wrapping paper or curled ribbons, no frills, what you see is what you get. No falsity whatsoever.

Same goes for Kelly. I've seen relatively few of her posts, but there is that same approach, same directness, same no-nonsense attitude that after just a little while screamed 'trustworthy' to me.

Then there's Durandal, Crown, Alyrium and a dozen other people who share these qualities to differing extent. Has to be said, the majority of people here are no-nonsense guys who have little or zero tolerance for falsity, trickery and the sort of asinine bullshit that seems to be an infinite resource on the net, which in general raises the trustworthiness percentage to close to astronomical levels when compared with other places.

However, out of the varied lot here, if I absolutely had to pick somebody to help with some sensitive personal stuff that I'd only be comfortable talking about with a few special people, that'd be Kelly. Because, in the final analysis, she's the only one who has the final magic ingredient in place. That final, almost indefinable something that clinches the decision. It's not a statement on the trustworthiness of others here, because I know there are others here equally trustworthy, and that final ingredient is subjective. Somebody who meets my requirements for trustworthiness might not fit the same for Mike or Durandal or WeeMadAndo or whoever else, while the people they find trustworthy might not fit mine. Magic ingredient...

Hell, I guess the whole process is subjective, since no two of us are alike and our criteria vary (even if they might vary just minutely). Anyway, those were just my observations, for whatever they are worth.

Kelly, sorry to hear that you've had such shitty experiences with people you've put your trust in online. Not everyone is like that.

Edi

[weemadando]

weemadando, it's not that they lie about where they live or if they are male or female, there are other ways they lie. They can lie about their past. Lie that they were in an accident to gain sympathy. There have been lots of ways I've been lied to.

Everyone has been lied to. I was referring to the ability to at least discover some truths about the person.

Not everyone is honest about themselves, but at least you can kind of be sure that they aren't psychotic mass-murderers.

[Kelly Antilles]

Relationships and friendships that are made on the net can be just as deep and lasting and meaningful as RL ones. Depends on the people involved. I've made several good friends on the net from all over the world. There's people I've trusted with a lot of personal stuff, because I know I can trust them. And how do I know? Well, they weren't fake. I knew them long enough on the net before talking about those sort of things, and it was obvious (to me at least) from their messages that they were telling the truth, just being themselves. Once you know what to look for, it's pretty easy to develop a sort of sixth sense or gut feeling about people you meet online, and one that you can trust to be fairly accurate too. Not infallible, never that, but it can get very accurate. One thing that's usually a good clue is if people are willing to talk about some aspects of their personal lives and families and such casually, especially if it happens several times over a longer period of time, because chances are it's true then. Liars tend to get tripped up by self-contradictions.

If we take this board, for example, let's see: I don't know many people here all that well and I assume it's safe to say that even fewer know me to any extent (unless they go and hunt down my infrequent posts and then read through them and the other posts around that give them context), but I've already got a basic gut feeling about some people here.

The whole of Stardestroyer.net gives a ton of material on Mike, and labels him as trustworthy a person as you're liable to find anywhere. No shiny wrapping paper or curled ribbons, no frills, what you see is what you get. No falsity whatsoever.

Same goes for Kelly. I've seen relatively few of her posts, but there is that same approach, same directness, same no-nonsense attitude that after just a little while screamed 'trustworthy' to me.

Then there's Durandal, Crown, Alyrium and a dozen other people who share these qualities to differing extent. Has to be said, the majority of people here are no-nonsense guys who have little or zero tolerance for falsity, trickery and the sort of asinine bullshit that seems to be an infinite resource on the net, which in general raises the trustworthiness percentage to close to astronomical levels when compared with other places.

However, out of the varied lot here, if I absolutely had to pick somebody to help with some sensitive personal stuff that I'd only be comfortable talking about with a few special people, that'd be Kelly. Because, in the final analysis, she's the only one who has the final magic ingredient in place. That final, almost indefinable something that clinches the decision. It's not a statement on the trustworthiness of others here, because I know there are others here equally trustworthy, and that final ingredient is subjective. Somebody who meets my requirements for trustworthiness might not fit the same for Mike or Durandal or WeeMadAndo or whoever else, while the people they find trustworthy might not fit mine. Magic ingredient...

Hell, I guess the whole process is subjective, since no two of us are alike and our criteria vary (even if they might vary just minutely). Anyway, those were just my observations, for whatever they are worth.

Kelly, sorry to hear that you've had such shitty experiences with people you've put your trust in online. Not everyone is like that.

Edi

Wow, Edi. Thanks for boosting my ego here. I really apreciate your very kind words. That's exactly how I hope I project myself online.

Thanks.

[Edi]

You're welcome, Kelly. It's nothing but the truth, or at least the truth as I see it, and had to be said.

Don't know about the rest of them guys here and how they see you, but I'd wager quite a few agree with my take on it. At least for me it was easy to see the real person behind the posts appearing in the name of Kelly Antilles, because many of my online friends (and RL ones too) are a lot like you. It's almost uncanny how much alike...

And I agree with you about conduct online. For me the net is a wonderful communication tool that allows me to meet and share ideas with loads of people from all over the world, an opportunity I'd never have without it. So I'm damn well not going to waste it by playing masquerades and lying to see how long I can get away with it before I get caught and get everyone pissed off at me. Online or off, I'm going to be myself and that's the deal, take it or leave it. If some people don't like it and have a problem with it, tough. They'd probably just be a waste of my time anyway. I'll just leave them behind and if they start making trouble, a kick in the nads and a couple more to the ribs should do the trick before I go about my business.

Edi