Just got a new book...

Executor32 · Post by **Executor32** » 2004-06-05 02:06am

Bushisms: The Deluxe Election Edition, by Jacob Weisberg. Honestly, this is probably the funniest damn book I've ever read. Full of all sorts of grammatical slips, malapropisms, and just plain stupid things uttered by Dubya, it was well worth the eight bucks I paid for it. I highly recommend it, if only for its sheer entertainment value.

Now, for the part you've been waiting for: CHOICE EXCERPTS!

From Chapter 1: Who I Am

"I'm the master of low expectations."
-Aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

"I am a person who recognizes the fallacy of humans."
-The Oprah Winfrey Show, September 19, 2000

"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C. is close to California."
-In Los Angeles, as quoted in the Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."
-In Pella, Iowa, as quoted in the San Antonio Express-News, January 30, 2000

From Chapter 2: What I Believe

"I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure."
-Interview with the Associated Press, January 18, 2001

"And there's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail."
-Washington, D.C., October 4, 2001

From Chapter 3: Off and Running

"There's a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say 'I don't want you to let me down again.'"
-Boston, Massachusetts, October 3, 2000

From Chapter 4: Accidental Wit

"They misunderestimated me."
-Bentonville, Arkansas, November 6, 2000

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
-Concord, New Hampshire, January 29, 2000

Last one, from Chapter 5: Accidental Wisdom

"Acutally, I--this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me."
-Hardball, May 31, 2000

Ma Deuce · Post by **Ma Deuce** » 2004-06-05 02:08am

hahahahahahaha!!

I MUST get my hands on that book

.

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-06-05 02:27am

Haha. I knew Bush was stupid but I did not expect him to be this much stupid.

Post by **Kuja** » 2004-06-05 03:22am

"And there's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail."

*bursts out laughing*

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2004-06-05 03:42am

And this dude is the fucking president of the most powerful nation on the planet. Gods help us.

Bob McDob · Post by **Bob McDob** » 2004-06-05 06:23am

My favorite:

"I believe Men and Fish can coexist together peacfully."

Executor32 · Post by **Executor32** » 2004-06-05 10:27pm

Ooh, I found the author's Bushisms website!

http://slate.msn.com/id/76886/

Even more comedy gold! Especially this one:

"I want to thank my friend, Sen. Bill Frist, for joining us today. … He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. (Laughter.) Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."—Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004

muse · Post by **muse** » 2004-06-05 10:57pm

I leafed through that book at the bookstore the other day, and I remember thinking "no, this can't be right..." but it was, and he did say those things. It was my highlight of the day.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2004-06-06 02:35am

Heh heh... well, at least it's not Dan Quayle-isms being wrongfully attributed to Bush, like I know has been done in the past.

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-06-06 10:30am

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."

Lol.