The Ultimate War Sim

OT: anything goes!

Moderator: Edi

Post Reply
User avatar
Glocksman
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 7233
Joined: 2002-09-03 06:43pm
Location: Mr. Five by Five

The Ultimate War Sim

Post by Glocksman »

I want a War Simulation. A real one.

13. I want factions. Not a simple alien vs. humans vs. bugs three-way war orgy. I want to share the map with powerful forces who are not friend or foe or anything else, a News Media, Private Corporations, asshole allies and friendly enemies, everyone jockeying for their own interests and me unable to bend over at any moment without turning my codpiece around first. I want a France.

14. I want fat, left-wing documentarians carefully editing the only the most incriminating footage, countered only by low-IQ country music singers crooning my praises while in American Flag-colored cowboy hats.

15. About every five minutes I want one of my helicopters to crash, completely on its own, for some fucking reason.

16. I want a fourth of my casualties to come from friendly fire and non-combat or training accidents. I want a big-name hero unit who rallies the troops with his Magical Sword of Slaying, only to be killed when an ammo crate falls off a loading dock.

Image

:lol:
"You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."- General Sir Charles Napier

Oderint dum metuant
Top
User avatar
Superman
Pink Foamin' at the Mouth
Posts: 9690
Joined: 2002-12-16 12:29am
Location: Metropolis

Post by Superman »

:wtf:
Top
User avatar
MKSheppard
Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
Posts: 29842
Joined: 2002-07-06 06:34pm

Post by MKSheppard »

already been posted by me :lol:
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
Top
User avatar
Joe
Space Cowboy
Posts: 17314
Joined: 2002-08-22 09:58pm
Location: Wishing I was in Athens, GA

Post by Joe »

That's the funniest item I've seen in a few months. :lol:
Image

BoTM / JL / MM / HAB / VRWC / Horseman

I'm studying for the CPA exam. Have a nice summer, and if you're down just sit back and realize that Joe is off somewhere, doing much worse than you are.
Top
User avatar
Gandalf
SD.net White Wizard
Posts: 16369
Joined: 2002-09-16 11:13pm
Location: A video store in Australia

Post by Gandalf »

LOL.

Best thing I've read in a while. :D
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist

"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
Top
User avatar
Sarevok
The Fearless One
Posts: 10681
Joined: 2002-12-24 07:29am
Location: The Covenants last and final line of defense

Post by Sarevok »

I think the author is too ambitious. A war simulator like the one he mentioned would be too difficult to create.
I have to tell you something everything I wrote above is a lie.
Top
User avatar
Anhaga
Padawan Learner
Posts: 169
Joined: 2004-04-14 07:29am
Location: Leicester, UK

Post by Anhaga »

evilcat4000 wrote:I think the author is too ambitious. A war simulator like the one he mentioned would be too difficult to create.
It's sarcasm. He's trying to make a political point.
"Hwær cwom mearg? Hwær cwom mago?
Hwær cwom maþþumgyfa?
Hwær cwom symbla gesetu?
Hwær sindon seledreamas?
Eala beorht bune!
Eala byrnwiga!
Eala þeodnes þrym!
Hu seo þrag gewat,
genap under nihthelm,
swa heo no wære"- The Wanderer
Top
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
Posts: 21222
Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
Contact:
Contact Shroom Man 777

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

evilcat4000 wrote:I think the author is too ambitious. A war simulator like the one he mentioned would be too difficult to create.
He wasn't serious -__-

He was just using it as an excuse to rant about the War on Terror and such issues.
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
Top
User avatar
Comosicus
Keeper of the Lore
Posts: 1991
Joined: 2003-11-23 06:33pm
Location: on the battlements of Sarmizegetusa
Contact:
Contact Comosicus

Post by Comosicus »

Interesting article. And the coincidence with the name of the author.
Not all Dacians died at Sarmizegetusa
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Off-Topic”