Writing a sci-fi novel

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jaeger115
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Writing a sci-fi novel

Post by jaeger115 »

For most of the time I was away from this board, I've been working on a science fiction novel. It is now 150 pages long, and I've been having a nasty case of writer's block. I'll explain the plot in the hopes that someone will come up with a great idea for it.

Ivan: Elite genetically engineered soldier

It is the mid-21st century, and the US has fallen into a fundamentalist, militaristic theocracy. Ivan and several others have been raised and trained by that regime (without the public's knowledge of course). The regime didn't actually create him - it stole the zygotes from a genetic engineer who's now hiding with the rebellion and decided to use them for the upcoming war with China and Russia.

Near the end of his training, Ivan is given a next-generation battlesuit which enhances his strength, resilence, and speed (think Master Chief, but with more realistic tech). Since the theocratic America is so expansion-prone, it has occupied Canada for some time now and fighting a new Pacific war with China, plus dealing with a rebellion operating out of remote areas such as the Rockies.

Next, he and his comrades undergo Hell Month (a variation on Hell Week for Navy SEALs, but longer and worse). After that, he is assigned to a US Marine regiment fighting the rebellion in North California. On one mission, Ivan witnesses a horrible massacre of innocent women and children near the front lines, and he participates in it because of his relentless indoctrination (and something else, which I will mention later)

On the next mission, he is sent deep into the mountains of Northern California for a search and destroy mission. His battlesuit is hacked into by the rebels, thus landing him in a trap. The rebels bring him to their regional HQ, and secretly remove his neural implant (which has been mind-controlling him for most of his life). Then they expose him to the dire reality of life in America, which Ivan is unprepared for. Newly liberated from his invisible prison, Ivan wants to go back at first. The rebels release Ivan and his battlesuit (with its radio disabled) near a small town, where he can go to call his superiors for immediate rescue.

But as soon as he is home, he gradually realizes that everything the rebels told him is all true. With his enhanced intelligence and senses, he figures out that he has been doped for his whole life. This revelation turns him into a bitter antihero, and it isn't long before he commits big-time treason by refusing a direct order to kill a captured field commander and going on a rampage.

It takes a long time for the base's security troops to capture him (given his lightning reflexes, speed, strength, and armor), but by this time the captured commander has escaped. Ivan is subjected to a torturous reindoctrination session in which the Inquisition try to reintroduce his neural implant. Before they have a chance to do so, a rebel strike force arrives (commanded by the very same major Ivan helped escape) and spirits Ivan away in a furious corridor-by-corridor battle. Pursuers dog the strike force on its way back to base. Ivan meets the genetic engineer who came up with him in the first place there, and listens to his story.

A few days after the heist, the rebel brass and Ivan hatch a plan to raze an enemy base in Panama (the US occupies this area in the book) because it's where Ivan's mind was controlled from. Destroying this base will release his comrades from their mental prisons. Needless to say, Ivan and the rebels destroy the base in a massive attritive battle and disappear into the foliage.

That's the basic plot. The story is much more deeper. If you can, please give me any suggestions for new technologies, questions, and comments. I'm doing my best to incorporate every new technology I can think of in this book, to make it more realistic (and to make it more likely to win a Hugo or Nebula in the near future :wink: )
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Post by Mayabird »

So he and his comrades seem to have saved the day. If you want more for hiim to do, have the other brainwashed supersoldiers come after him to stop him (since they haven't been exposed to the truth or anything and don't know any better). Have him wander off to try to find a corner to try to get his thoughts together, which then gets destroyed. Make him want to find out more about life and living and all the things he never had, but never quite getting the chance to do so. (Find a nice girl...she dies of some disease that has arisen in the wastelands. Find some kids to take care of...he can't find enough food to keep them alive and they starve. You get the idea.)

Just go for something. Expand this apocalypic world. If something doesn't work, you can always start over. Make it bigger. What's going on in India? What's happened in Africa? Is there internal strife in the ranks of the American Faithful?
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Post by jaeger115 »

Mayabird wrote:So he and his comrades seem to have saved the day. If you want more for hiim to do, have the other brainwashed supersoldiers come after him to stop him (since they haven't been exposed to the truth or anything and don't know any better). Have him wander off to try to find a corner to try to get his thoughts together, which then gets destroyed. Make him want to find out more about life and living and all the things he never had, but never quite getting the chance to do so. (Find a nice girl...she dies of some disease that has arisen in the wastelands. Find some kids to take care of...he can't find enough food to keep them alive and they starve. You get the idea.)

Just go for something. Expand this apocalypic world. If something doesn't work, you can always start over. Make it bigger. What's going on in India? What's happened in Africa? Is there internal strife in the ranks of the American Faithful?
I'm saving this for Part II. This is, if I'm writing it. :D
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Post by mauldooku »

I quite like it. I second it that supersolider vs. supersolider would make quite interesting reading material. I don't really have anymore suggestions at the moment, sorry.


Oh, and any novel which involves the invasion of Canada is <3. Good work, man!
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Post by jaeger115 »

Badme wrote:Oh, and any novel which involves the invasion of Canada is <3. Good work, man!
Occupation, not invasion. The occupation of Canada is just something to be mentioned in the finished product.
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

You might want him to take on several elite soldiers (not supersoldiers) while attacking the base. It would make for an awesome gun battle and it might get dirty with h2h. Then he and his comrades meets a handful of supersoldiers and nearly get slaughtered, but he manages to kick their asses and shut down the mind control thing. You might also want to have the guy take on a helicopter.

BTW, after shutting down the mind control device, the supersoldiers won't stop from killing the enemy, I mean, why should they? It's not as if they were controlled against their will. Their indoctrination will still keep them in line.

As for future tech, you might want to use those plastic sheets which display information. The futuristic alternative of paper. They can store information and the info they have can be replaced, so you won't have to buy a new sheet every day to get the latest edition of the Washington Post or something.

You might want frisbee sized UAVs being used by infantry units for recon. You can't go wrong with heavily armed robotic droids too!
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Post by jaeger115 »

Shroom Man 777 wrote:You might want him to take on several elite soldiers (not supersoldiers) while attacking the base. It would make for an awesome gun battle and it might get dirty with h2h.
Need I explain Ivan's abilities? He can jump 120 feet (with the augmentation his battlesuit gives him), run at 40 kph, climb up walls like Spiderman, and turn invisible. These soldiers would be dead in the first few seconds of combat :twisted:

Not to be a wanker, but that's how I envision him.
You might also want to have the guy take on a helicopter.
I thought of that a long time ago. Ivan will do that.
BTW, after shutting down the mind control device, the supersoldiers won't stop from killing the enemy, I mean, why should they? It's not as if they were controlled against their will. Their indoctrination will still keep them in line.
Quite right. The destruction of the "source" will make it possible for the others to break through their brainwashing, but this won't be in the novel.
As for future tech, you might want to use those plastic sheets which display information. The futuristic alternative of paper. They can store information and the info they have can be replaced, so you won't have to buy a new sheet every day to get the latest edition of the Washington Post or something.

You might want frisbee sized UAVs being used by infantry units for recon. You can't go wrong with heavily armed robotic droids too!
Taking them too.
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Post by jaeger115 »

Any ideas on what the Inquisitors should look like? I envisioned highly faithful men in flowing black robes and impenetrable masks, like with the Nazgul.

A few things about them: They are picked from high school based on their level of faith and sent directly to government-run biblical colleges. They undergo advanced Bible training, education in torture and interrogation methods, and highly advanced technology for influencing people's minds. Moreover, they are highly skilled and ruthless in firearm and hand-to-hand combat, but they're no match for a Spartan (that's who Ivan is), thus they use mind control to keep him in line.
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Post by Shadow WarChief »

Give the rebels some kind of elite force of their own. I'm kinda thinking of something along the lines of the rangers from LOTR and B5. Not über, but better than average.

As for future tech, I'd recommend throwing in robotic insects. Attach a camera to it and feed it into any in-suit cameras he has and he has almost perfect reconnaisance ability.


And uh...shouldn't this be in the fanfic forum? :?
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

jaeger115 wrote:Need I explain Ivan's abilities? He can jump 120 feet (with the augmentation his battlesuit gives him), run at 40 kph, climb up walls like Spiderman, and turn invisible. These soldiers would be dead in the first few seconds of combat :twisted:

Not to be a wanker, but that's how I envision him.
I can understand the walls, the 40kph, but jumping 120 feet?! JESUS CHRIST!!! That's insane! It'll be like flying.

Maybe you could arm the elite soldiers with extremely powerful weapons. Or make them cyborgs, just a league beneath Ivan.
I thought of that a long time ago. Ivan will do that.
Maybe he jumps off the fucked helicopter and lands on another heli, where he proceeds to do something similar to what the T-1000 (from T2) did to that police chopper.
Quite right. The destruction of the "source" will make it possible for the others to break through their brainwashing, but this won't be in the novel.
The "source" could be a place where vital components of the Universal Soldier project are made as well as advanced weaponry (plasma guns, anyone?). Wreaking (or perhaps stealing) the mind control devices and ransacking the other neat stuff would prove to be very beneficial.

And what about decoding machines? Let Ivan steal an Enigma!
Taking them too.
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And BTW, maybe you could add grapling hooks to Ivan's arsenal, enabling him to escape all sorts of dangers as well as some sort of sonic grenade to fuck people up. Have you watched Batman Beyond? Glider wings would be neat. How about those things found on the suits of some sky divers, the ones also featured in Tomb Raider 2, that would be neat.

A blade sharpened via nanotech would be cool as well. Or maybe a blade made out of mimetic polyalloy (ala T1000). It could be programmed with a variety of configurations. So when Ivan presses button A of his wrist computer, the knife transforms into a crow bar, button B will transform it to a ninja star like thing. Odd, but your guy can jump higher than spiderman, so why not?

Optical implants would be neat.

An artificial finger loaded with all sorts of goodies (cyanide injector, laser, toxic gas, etc) would also be a fancy surprise.

@ The Inquisitors:

Screw the masks. Robes are good enough. Masks would make them kooky! I don't have much suggestions, though their indoctrintion/dissecting table/chair could be in the shape of a cross. Their prisoners crucified and placed in stasis cells while waiting for interrogation. A crown of drug injecting, electric shocking thorns would be neat too!
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Post by Bob the Gunslinger »

Badme wrote:I quite like it. I second it that supersolider vs. supersolider would make quite interesting reading material. I don't really have anymore suggestions at the moment, sorry.


Oh, and any novel which involves the invasion of Canada is <3. Good work, man!
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Post by jaeger115 »

A crown of drug injecting, electric shocking thorns would be neat too!
Interestingly symbolic.... :shock:
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Post by jaeger115 »

Just go for something. Expand this apocalypic world. If something doesn't work, you can always start over. Make it bigger. What's going on in India? What's happened in Africa? Is there internal strife in the ranks of the American Faithful?
India is a very strong regional power, capable of sending forces anywhere in the Indian Ocean and Oceania, and not on friendly terms with China.

Africa: Oh shit. Because of fundamentalist dogma, Africa collapsed into a hellhole of war, AIDS, ebola, and famine. There's not much good to do there, and it is only mentioned in the book.

American Faithful: There's a schism between these who want the Spartan Project to continue (because of military necessity) and these who want it burned (afraid that genetic engineering will insult God). But so far, it's only in Congress.
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Post by jaeger115 »

Maybe he jumps off the fucked helicopter and lands on another heli, where he proceeds to do something similar to what the T-1000 (from T2) did to that police chopper.
What did he do? I never saw that movie.
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

jaeger115 wrote:
Maybe he jumps off the fucked helicopter and lands on another heli, where he proceeds to do something similar to what the T-1000 (from T2) did to that police chopper.
What did he do? I never saw that movie.
He jumped and hanged on the cockpit of the chopper, punched a hole through the windshield and oozed into the seat beside the driver and told the driver to get out. The pilot jumped off the chopper.

A variation of that would be interesting. Or him ripping off a Humvee's doors and throwing the driver several dozen feet away and then comandeering the vehicle. Or punching a Bradley's door/hatch open. Or jumping a hundred feet off the ground to latch onto an F-22 taking off from the airfield. Or jumping onto a Black Hawk helicopter's side, ripping off the mini-gun and killing everyone on board before jumping to a nearby building for safety (might not be very safe).

And don't forget the chrome colored, shape shifting combat knife! Imagine, it looks like a Rambo knife, then via the neural input device on Ivan's helmet, one thought can transform the knife into almost any shape he wants it to be. It transforms into a thin, long and extremely sharp blade. He jabs it through the back of an unsuspecting enemy's head, the bottom part of the head where the spine and the skull meet. The blade is going upwards too. The enemy dies without even knowing what hit him. Because of the knife's shape shifting abilities, it's so sharp that the bone and meat are sliced open like wet tissue paper. God, that's just awesome.
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Post by jaeger115 »

Shroom Man 777 wrote:
jaeger115 wrote:
Maybe he jumps off the fucked helicopter and lands on another heli, where he proceeds to do something similar to what the T-1000 (from T2) did to that police chopper.
What did he do? I never saw that movie.
He jumped and hanged on the cockpit of the chopper, punched a hole through the windshield and oozed into the seat beside the driver and told the driver to get out. The pilot jumped off the chopper.

A variation of that would be interesting. Or him ripping off a Humvee's doors and throwing the driver several dozen feet away and then comandeering the vehicle. Or punching a Bradley's door/hatch open. Or jumping a hundred feet off the ground to latch onto an F-22 taking off from the airfield. Or jumping onto a Black Hawk helicopter's side, ripping off the mini-gun and killing everyone on board before jumping to a nearby building for safety (might not be very safe).

And don't forget the chrome colored, shape shifting combat knife! Imagine, it looks like a Rambo knife, then via the neural input device on Ivan's helmet, one thought can transform the knife into almost any shape he wants it to be. It transforms into a thin, long and extremely sharp blade. He jabs it through the back of an unsuspecting enemy's head, the bottom part of the head where the spine and the skull meet. The blade is going upwards too. The enemy dies without even knowing what hit him. Because of the knife's shape shifting abilities, it's so sharp that the bone and meat are sliced open like wet tissue paper. God, that's just awesome.
Ivan will do these things, except that there won't be F-22s, Bradleys, Hummers, and Blackhawks in the book. The time frame is way past that.

Ivan wasn't trained for these things, but the perpetual state of rage he found himself in after he found out the truth might make him do that. It's a plausible scenario, given his incredible abilities.
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Post by Sarevok »

From the basic plot outline it appears to be a very good story. Perhaps you should post it at the fanfics forum so that we can read and comment on it.
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Post by Mayabird »

Since nobody else looks like they're going to mention it...planning any gratuitous sex scenes? After all, what sci-fi story would be complete without gratuitous sex? :wink:

Seriously though, I like it. Nice powderkeg world. India vs. China vs. Russia vs. theocratic US. Looks ripe for a world war. And everybody has nukes still, I'm assuming...

Has Russia conquered the rest of Europe, or are they just hanging around trying to survive? And how far does the US occupation of the Americas extend? I know I'm being nosy, but I think all these little details are interesting.

Ditto on posting it in the fanfics forum.
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Post by jaeger115 »

Somebody move this to the fanfic board. NOW.
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Post by Jason von Evil »

Mayabird wrote:So he and his comrades seem to have saved the day. If you want more for hiim to do, have the other brainwashed supersoldiers come after him to stop him
Seems like the plot to some b-movie.
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