Receptionist: Hello, how may I help you?
Human Client: Umm ... Hi ... umm ... is this ... umm ... is this ... (breathes heavily) ... Full Spectrum Escorts?
Receptionist: Yes, you have the right code. How may I help you?
Human Client: Umm, well ... (takes a deep breath) .., I'm human, you see.
Receptionist: Humans are very welcome to use our services. Do you have any particular tastes?
Human Client: Well, you see ... umm, I'm just curious, really ... but ... but ... are any of your, umm, employees ... Avthaklian ... by any chance?
Receptionist: Yes, we have quite a few on the present shift. What caste did you have in mind? Worker? Soldier? Queen?
Human Client: Umm ... Queen?
Receptionist: Well it looks like tonight's your lucky night. We have one on right now. Her name's Xylitikatika, but you can call her Sasha. By the way, are you in a hotel right now?
Human Client: Umm, yeah. Hilton Terran Orbital 54.
Receptionist: How large are your suite's doors?
Human Client: Uuhhh ... three metres by three.
Receptionist: Oh, well, I guess she'll just be able to squeeze her way in there. Do you have any resting straps for her tentacles?
Human Client: Wait a minute ... no ... I can't see any.
Receptionist: Well, I guess she'll have to rest her tentacles on you then.
Human Client: (Nervous high-pitched giggle)
Receptionist: Time and place, please?
Human Client: Suite 13, midnight EST.
Receptionist: Confirmed. Sasha will be on her way. Enjoy your time with her.
Human Client: (Nervous high-pitched giggle)
The Human client closes the transmission, then sits up on the disproportionately huge jell-o-bed and stares with frozen terror at the vast double doors, his body rigid with dread and regret.
************************************************************
So, what happens to this man? Is it too late for him to call the agency and cancel the appointment? Should he get himself completely pissed or stoned off his face? Should he wear some sort of protective clothing? Body armour, perhaps? Or am I some sort of evil demented fruitcake for putting this image into your head?
PS: This has nothing to do with the REAL story I've been working on. Honest.
Alien Escort Agency (An attempt to conquer writer's block)
Moderator: Edi
- Einhander Sn0m4n
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I see tentiacal rape here...going to need to be drunk and stoned just to surive since i really don't know what speices it is yeah get everything possible to protect yourself or it's going to be a hentai tentical rape palloza
Member of The Cleaners (Scout, Sniper, Silent Assassain) <Origins of The Cleaners Pending>
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"Take what you can get in life" -Me
I'm fuckin insane wh00t wh00t and darn proud
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"We are the Cleaners! Prepare to Die!" -The Cleaners Offical Motto
"Take what you can get in life" -Me
I'm fuckin insane wh00t wh00t and darn proud
#1 Fan of LT. Hit-Man
Member of Task Force Lennox
Remember to hug a moderator at least once a day
As a matter of fact, this COULD be the start of a humorous SF short story. I was thinking of having the guy trying to escape from the hotel somehow. Of course, the problem is, the ... er ... "escort" has just arrived, and the poor guy has to wait half an hour for an orbital taxi. But first he has to check out, and it is easy to trace most hotel patrons if you have the resources.
I'd better get back to my other story.
Does anyone else have any story ideas in development?
I'd better get back to my other story.
Does anyone else have any story ideas in development?