Man burns penis with laptop

OT: anything goes!

Moderator: Edi

Post Reply
User avatar
Faram
Bastard Operator from Hell
Posts: 5271
Joined: 2002-07-04 07:39am
Location: Fighting Polarbears

Man burns penis with laptop

Post by Faram »

Too good not to post it

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/54/28245.html

And now for proof that some laptops run hotter than a badger. A 50-year old scientist, previously healthy, burned his penis after placing his laptop on his, err lap, for an hour. Oh, he was fully dressed in trousers and underpants, according to this letter printed in the Lancet, the UK's best-known medical journal. (reg req'd, free.)

The following is not for the squeamish:

The next day he noticed irritation and oedema of his penile prepuce. Furthermore, the ventral part of his scrotal skin had turned red, and there was a blister with a diameter of about 2 cm. These findings were verified when I saw the patient 1 day later. There were no signs of phimosis or balanitis. The patient recalled that, while sitting 2 days earlier with his computer on his lap, he occasionally had felt heat and a burning feeling on his lap and proximal thigh, a sensation that was relieved at least temporarily when the computer was moved slightly.

After the first 2 days, the penile and scrotal blisters broke and developed into infected wounds that caused extensive suppuration. More than a week later, the wounds were covered by dry crusts and thereafter were healing quite rapidly. No antibiotic treatment was needed.

Thank goodness. The Register is happy that the patient was in such able hands, but disappointed in the lack of technical detail in Claes-Goran Ostenson's report. What was the make of laptop*? Did it have a desktop chip in it? Roll on Banias.

The unnamed laptop maimer may have to change the caveats in its instruction manual. Ostenson notes the branding iron firm's safety instructions:

Do not allow your portable computer to operate with the base resting directly on exposed skin. With extended operation, heat can potentially build up in the base. Allowing sustained contact with the skin could cause discomfort or, eventually, a burn."

Don't trousers and underpants count?

The 50 year old scientist has learned a lesson, although we're not sure what. Ande we are relieved that this is not a case of objectum sexuality, most commonly expressed in sexual love for cars, but also a phenomenon among... owners of PowerMacs(they are nice, aren't they?). Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece.

That's when Mark realized it wasn't Bryan he fancied, it was his Mac.

"Bryan, my cyberboyfriend, was in a lot of ways, my PowerMac G3, webcam and telephone," Mark wrote on his website. "He literally lived inside of this machine ... that I myself could control like a light switch. The perfect boyfriend."

Quite. ®

*Reg Reader Peter Dudek of Switzerland writes:

Just thought I'd mention that by doing a google search with "Do not allow your portable computer to operate with the base resting directly on exposed skin. With extended operation, heat can potentially build up in the base. Allowing sustained contact with the skin could cause discomfort or, eventually, a burn" as the search string, I believe, reveals the mystery laptop brand.

It's a Dell Latitude. The search pulls up a support website from from support.jp.dell.com, that has, essentially, the exact same warning in the
"User's Guide". ®
[img=right]http://hem.bredband.net/b217293/warsaban.gif[/img]

"Either God wants to abolish evil, and cannot; or he can, but does not want to. ... If he wants to, but cannot, he is impotent. If he can, but does not want to, he is wicked. ... If, as they say, God can abolish evil, and God really wants to do it, why is there evil in the world?" -Epicurus


Fear is the mother of all gods.

Nature does all things spontaneously, by herself, without the meddling of the gods. -Lucretius
User avatar
haas mark
Official SD.Net Insomniac
Posts: 16533
Joined: 2002-09-11 04:29pm
Location: Wouldn't you like to know?
Contact:

Post by haas mark »

LMAO!!!!!

But.......his boyfriend was the laptop!?[/] I think this huy has some power issues. He said he could control "him" like a lightswitch...I definitely think he has some issues to resolve. I mean, who wishes they could have a boyfrinrd that they didn't have to deal with IRL, but that they could literally control their every move (sorta)? Well, I certainly don't. I may be power-hungry, but people are people. Ugh...
Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net

Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]

Formerly verilon

R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005


Image
User avatar
Vympel
Spetsnaz
Spetsnaz
Posts: 29312
Joined: 2002-07-19 01:08am
Location: Sydney Australia

Post by Vympel »

WTF .... how can you possibly burn your dick with a laptop and not know it.
Like Legend of Galactic Heroes? Please contribute to http://gineipaedia.com/
User avatar
XaLEv
Lore Monkey
Posts: 5372
Joined: 2002-07-04 06:35am

Post by XaLEv »

I don't think the guy with the unfortunate genitalia is Mark:
Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece.
And besides, that part talks about a Mac G3, and the part after that implies that the laptop responsible for the burns was a Dell Latitude.
「かかっ―」
User avatar
haas mark
Official SD.Net Insomniac
Posts: 16533
Joined: 2002-09-11 04:29pm
Location: Wouldn't you like to know?
Contact:

Post by haas mark »

XaLEv wrote:I don't think the guy with the unfortunate genitalia is Mark:
Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece.
And besides, that part talks about a Mac G3, and the part after that implies that the laptop responsible for the burns was a Dell Latitude.
That's when Mark realized it wasn't Bryan he fancied, it was his Mac.
Yes, it is.
Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net

Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]

Formerly verilon

R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005


Image
User avatar
XaLEv
Lore Monkey
Posts: 5372
Joined: 2002-07-04 06:35am

Post by XaLEv »

verilon wrote: Yes, it is.
Look at that part again.
Ande we are relieved that this is not a case of objectum sexuality, most commonly expressed in sexual love for cars, but also a phenomenon among... owners of PowerMacs(they are nice, aren't they?). Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece.

That's when Mark realized it wasn't Bryan he fancied, it was his Mac.

"Bryan, my cyberboyfriend, was in a lot of ways, my PowerMac G3, webcam and telephone," Mark wrote on his website. "He literally lived inside of this machine ... that I myself could control like a light switch. The perfect boyfriend."
Read the bold part. They are saying that this is not a case like with Mark and his Mac.
「かかっ―」
User avatar
haas mark
Official SD.Net Insomniac
Posts: 16533
Joined: 2002-09-11 04:29pm
Location: Wouldn't you like to know?
Contact:

Post by haas mark »

XaLEv wrote:
verilon wrote: Yes, it is.
Look at that part again.
Ande we are relieved that this is not a case of objectum sexuality, most commonly expressed in sexual love for cars, but also a phenomenon among... owners of PowerMacs(they are nice, aren't they?). Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece.

That's when Mark realized it wasn't Bryan he fancied, it was his Mac.

"Bryan, my cyberboyfriend, was in a lot of ways, my PowerMac G3, webcam and telephone," Mark wrote on his website. "He literally lived inside of this machine ... that I myself could control like a light switch. The perfect boyfriend."
Read the bold part. They are saying that this is not a case like with Mark and his Mac.
Ah. Okay, I guess I kept misreading it. :| Oops. :oops:
Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net

Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]

Formerly verilon

R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005


Image
User avatar
Grand Admiral Thrawn
Ruthless Imperial Tyrant
Posts: 5755
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:11pm
Location: Canada

Post by Grand Admiral Thrawn »

Owchie. And why would he have a laptop on his...lap for so long?
"You know, I was God once."
"Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died."
Bender and God, Futurama
User avatar
haas mark
Official SD.Net Insomniac
Posts: 16533
Joined: 2002-09-11 04:29pm
Location: Wouldn't you like to know?
Contact:

Post by haas mark »

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Owchie. And why would he have a laptop on his...lap for so long?
The barrel gets lower once again...
Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net

Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]

Formerly verilon

R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005


Image
User avatar
Stormbringer
King of Democracy
Posts: 22678
Joined: 2002-07-15 11:22pm

Post by Stormbringer »

Vympel wrote:WTF .... how can you possibly burn your dick with a laptop and not know it.
How is it possible to burn you dick and not know it period? I mean, I think you'd notice.
Image
User avatar
Darth Wong
Sith Lord
Sith Lord
Posts: 70028
Joined: 2002-07-03 12:25am
Location: Toronto, Canada
Contact:

Post by Darth Wong »

Moral of this story: no one will protect your privates but you.
Image
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
User avatar
Evil Sadistic Bastard
Hentai Tentacle Demon
Posts: 4229
Joined: 2002-07-17 02:34am
Location: FREE
Contact:

Post by Evil Sadistic Bastard »

Confucius say: When dickee burn, no put laptop on lap.
Believe in the sign of Hentai.

BotM - Hentai Tentacle Monkey/Warwolves - Evil-minded Medic/JL - Medical Jounin/Mecha Maniacs - Fuchikoma Grope Attack!/AYVB - Bloody Bastards.../GALE Force - Purveyor of Anal Justice/HAB - Combat Medical Orderly

Combat Medical Orderly(Also Nameless Test-tube Washer) : SD.Net Dept. of Biological Sciences
User avatar
neoolong
Dead Sexy 'Shroom
Posts: 13180
Joined: 2002-08-29 10:01pm
Location: California

Post by neoolong »

That really sucks. And you have to explain to the hospital how your burned yourself.
Member of the BotM. @( !.! )@
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

ROFL!! WTF?!!!
Note to self: Don't get a laptop unless it has at least a 35kilogram cast iron heatsink on the bottom....
Image Image
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
What Kind of Username is That?
Posts: 9254
Joined: 2002-07-10 08:53pm
Location: Back in PA

Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Great. Now, the governments will put a bunch of silly regulations on laptops, and all laptops will have to come with "penis mitts" to prevent any such accidents from occuring in the future. If he was American, he would have sued by now.
BotM: Just another monkey|HAB
User avatar
TrailerParkJawa
Sith Acolyte
Posts: 5850
Joined: 2002-07-04 11:49pm
Location: San Jose, California

Post by TrailerParkJawa »

I think this is gonna turn out to be a hoax. Its pretty sensitive down there to heat.
User avatar
Evil Sadistic Bastard
Hentai Tentacle Demon
Posts: 4229
Joined: 2002-07-17 02:34am
Location: FREE
Contact:

Post by Evil Sadistic Bastard »

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:ROFL!! WTF?!!!
Note to self: Don't get a laptop unless it has at least a 35kilogram cast iron heatsink on the bottom....
Considering heat sinks dissipate ehat by radiating it out through their fins, and its on the BOTTOM, your balls are going to get crushed and fried, I'm afraid.
Believe in the sign of Hentai.

BotM - Hentai Tentacle Monkey/Warwolves - Evil-minded Medic/JL - Medical Jounin/Mecha Maniacs - Fuchikoma Grope Attack!/AYVB - Bloody Bastards.../GALE Force - Purveyor of Anal Justice/HAB - Combat Medical Orderly

Combat Medical Orderly(Also Nameless Test-tube Washer) : SD.Net Dept. of Biological Sciences
User avatar
Master of Ossus
Darkest Knight
Posts: 18213
Joined: 2002-07-11 01:35am
Location: California

Re: Man burns penis with laptop

Post by Master of Ossus »

Faram wrote: Ande we are relieved that this is not a case of objectum sexuality, most commonly expressed in sexual love for cars, but also a phenomenon among... owners of PowerMacs(they are nice, aren't they?). Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece.
:shock: :shock: :shock:

Every time I begin to regain faith in humanity....
"Sometimes I think you WANT us to fail." "Shut up, just shut up!" -Two Guys from Kabul

Latinum Star Recipient; Hacker's Cross Award Winner

"one soler flar can vapririze the planit or malt the nickl in lass than millasacit" -Bagara1000

"Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away."
Post Reply