To those that clear our Roads(Rant)

[Mr Bean]

Todays Rant is repodruced word for word in its first telling outside of my house to the neighbor's cat who as is tradtion after a long drive finds her place on the nice warm hood of my car in the sunlight



? Oh its the bloody cat here agian, Yes please sit on my hood while I jack the car up to replace the flate tire I have, Prehaps you would wish to nap on that next when I'm done....

Bloody Snowplowers going on a street and tell me? Where is it in the Plow Man's Handbook where one is instructed to Scrap not only the road but the Sides of the Road and Thus toss up fisted sized rocks into the Road for people to run over, Sure there was Sand on it so I got excellent Traction on it, I guess I can thank him for that much(*Snip-Much swearing about random things)

I mean I DO appreacte him turning the road that was paved last month back into the former Gravel Drive it was before, Heck knwos that will do it a WORLD of good for the road to get back to its muddy and rockey roots, WHO AM I to question what a road should be and not be, But must it go back to its Large heavy and more specficly POINTY years? Its a road afterall people are supposed to use it and how COULD they with a few hundred pounds of large rocks scattered over it?

Ahh but this does not matter to you, Of course your off climbing my windshield, don't mind me thats the second windshield after all, and I simply can't get used to the fact this one does not have any large cracks in it or anything that makes it look like I was in a gun-battle, Hell half a dozen times before I replaced that thing I wanted to put matching Gun-Holes in the Sides, Hell probably get me some more quality time with our dear State-Policemen, I mean its not everday they see a car with a cracked windshield and bullet holes in the doors, Heck they probably will want to know how those got there as its not everyday you see those sorts of things.

Prehaps I should come up with a list of Witty comments for them when they pull me over every 40 Miles to make sure I'm not some lunatic who just escaped from Prison which they will qucikly find they are only half right as I've never been to prison so I can't well escape from it...


Ahh I see, Finding my Snowcovered roof comfortable? I hoped you would, I had the snow specialy important from way up to make it an exellent if a bit chilly area to roll around in as I see you doing, nevermind I still got the car on the jack here

But seriously, How hard is it for one to stay on THE ROAD, Barley two inchs of snow in a truck with a few tons of weight in it, never mind the truck itself, Ahh Well who am I to judge, They probably have a very setrenious method of selecting the Drivers, Prehaps involing Hot Coals, And some Chanting Prehaps they have to run miles in the Snow naked with a load of sand and Salt.... Yes thats probably it, I can see it all now! No WAY they could hire just any random cump who walks in the door and manages not to poke himself in the eye with pencil while filling out the appilcation, Of course you'd still loose a few with that kind of rules but then I'd be more worried about where the eye pokers went afterwords, No best the chanting and the Hot Coals


Well all done with that, Come to think of it, think I could claim I lost the tire to gunfire from the maurding bands of Canadian Bellhops... What no? Well I guess, probaly need some axal damage to if it where shot... Course would be intresting to see thier response back when I send that as my claim... No best to stick with the truth in this instants, That despite the years of training, one of the acient order of the Snow-plowers tore up the side of the road and left sanded pointy rockes in the middle so that I could tear this... ooh I'd say baseball sized hole in my tire after coming over the hill


Well thats all done with, time to stumble inside, kick the heat up to 76 Degrees and go see who spammed the board while I was gone.....


This has been an acutal Rant of Bean, based on true events that occured less that two hours ago, Some liberties where taken with the charaters involved, Specficly it should be noted that its is "The Acient and Mystical Order of the Snow-Plowers" rather than simply "The Acient Order of the Snow-Plowers"

I'm Bean

Ranting off

[Evil Sadistic Bastard]

Snow plower is idiot.

Snow Plower throws gravel all over the place.

Snow Plower throw gravel into my windshield.

Snow Plower throws gravel into road where I can shred my tires.

Snow Plower bad.

Death to Snow Plower.

[Sea Skimmer]

Both the county and local guys where I do a good job, and we only very rarely have problems with damaged cars, as in never, and they don't generally rip up the pavement.

[Ghost Rider]

Around here is potluck at best.

We sometimes get people to notice us...other time I never see my street even touched.

[Mr Bean]

Snow plower is idiot.

Snow Plower throws gravel all over the place.

Snow Plower throw gravel into my windshield.

Snow Plower throws gravel into road where I can shred my tires.

Snow Plower bad.

Death to Snow Plower.

You entirley missed the point ESB! Besides the cracks in my old windshield where acutal CASUED by bullets to be specfic a fragmented .22 Shot that reflected off a post and hit my Windshield


And no comments at all about the Snowplower order? You shame the Acient and Mystical Society of the Snow-Plowers!

[Evil Sadistic Bastard]

Sorry, I am half-asleep at this point but I cannot sleep because I cannot sleep so please forgive my mindless rambling and your typing skilz don't help me much either oh my god have i typed this whole thing without full stops i must be more tired than I think

[Larz]

I tried waiting for the snow plower to come... but that was a vain effort and I had to "Submersion learn" hilly snow driving because no one came up to plow the roads. If anyone finds out where my tax dollars are going other than the pockets of my politicians, then do, please tell me...