Funny stuff

guyver · Post by **guyver** » 2002-12-04 03:40pm

Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are technologically challenged you "ain't seen nuthin'" yet. This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The coverturned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.

4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that
his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked
what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the
third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

10. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is Working fine.

THERE.. NOW DON'T" YOU FEEL LIKE A COMPUTER GENIUS..

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-12-04 03:50pm

LMAO!! As they go on and on, they get worse and worse!

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2002-12-04 05:43pm

THERE.. NOW DON'T" YOU FEEL LIKE A COMPUTER GENIUS..

YES, YES I DO!!!! w00t w00t!

Cyaround,
Jason

Post by **fgalkin** » 2002-12-04 05:48pm

O...M....F....G.

ROTFLMAO!

And I thought the fundies were stupid.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-12-04 05:52pm

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked
what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"

This one's my favorite.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2002-12-04 05:54pm

Im not sure how many of those are real, but they are funny!

However, this one really happened to me:

Engineer walks up to my cube. "Did you do something to my PC?"
Me: "No, why?"
Engineer: "It does not power on. You must have broken it in the move."
Me: "I did not move your machine, the movers did."
Engineer:"Oh."
Me:"Lets go take a look."

We walk over to his new cube and he had plugged his powerstrip back into itself and not noticed. Er...um...hahah. Its an innocent mistake, but to accuse the IT staff of doing it or breaking his computer is WRONG!

Post by **Zaia** » 2002-12-04 05:56pm

guyver wrote: 6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!

Jesu Criste, people are idiots...

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2002-12-04 06:12pm

Makes the rest of us look like geniuses

Amazing how humorously stupid some people can be. Reminds me of that guy who to "watercool" his PC...literally.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2002-12-04 06:22pm

All I can say is: Damn!

Warspite · Post by **Warspite** » 2002-12-04 06:25pm

The worst is, I've heard a few similar froma friend of mine in Tech Support, here in my country (<--- look at location). There's idiots everywhere.

data_link · Post by **data_link** » 2002-12-04 06:57pm

Then of course there's the fact that the reason tech support people always ask "Is it plugged in?" and "Is it turned on?" as their first two questions, is because over half of all problems can be solved with those two questions alone.

The other half involves this kind of stupidity...

jodathalas · Post by **jodathalas** » 2002-12-04 07:56pm

Uh huh. That is very funny. Some people are idiots. That, and many people don't bother reading the instructions because after you get passed the plug it in stuff, it clearly says "turn on" or "press power button."

Luke Starkiller · Post by **Luke Starkiller** » 2002-12-04 09:16pm

Your daily dose of this kind of thing can be found here.[/url]

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2002-12-04 09:59pm

Heres a little true story of my own: A friend of mine suprised me at work one day while I was doing some work on the computer. We got to chatting, and it turn out I forgot to get off the Internet before we left to go eat.
Since there are only 12 phone lines at work, and there are something like 23 computers there, we had a policy that says no one can be on the Internet for more than an hour at a time. But there was another reason for that policy. For some reason, our computers, if left online too long, got filled to the brim with porno mail. One of the tech guys said it had to do with our network broadcasting an active IP, which the spammer programs picked up immediately and began blasting e-mail our way.
So, when I returned, I had recieved over 500 porno mails.
Pics of nude women were posted all over the desktop, engaging in several illegal sex acts, when my boss stopped by. He immediately looked at me like I was a pervert, but I explained to him that I had forgotten to get off the 'Net when I went to lunch. Not exactly laugh-out loud funny, but you shoulda seen the looks I got for the next week.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-12-04 10:07pm

Gah. 500? Bwahahaha.

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2002-12-04 10:08pm

neoolong wrote:Gah. 500? Bwahahaha.

You bet....
I wouldn't have minded it so much except all the pics were of old women....... VERY old women....

jodathalas · Post by **jodathalas** » 2002-12-04 10:09pm

LOL. I hate e-mail spam.
You cant stop it.
It's like...

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2002-12-04 10:13pm

jodathalas wrote:LOL. I hate e-mail spam.
You cant stop it.
It's like...

Well, luckily we got a new firewall put in to stop that kinda stuff last month.
No more porn for me!

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

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