Snuggie Sales Reach 4 Million

[Kanastrous]

Satanists who can't afford to turn their damned thermostats up.

[Ghost Rider]

So a blanket for the retarded.

Off to OT.

[phred]

Precisely. I always laugh at the people in commercials like that.

Also, I hate Billy Maze!! that guy grates on my nerves.

[Joviwan]

What's funny is that it's a complete rip-off of "Slanket," which has been around for nearly 10 years. I bought a few of them for christmas a year or two ago, and everyone loved them. Say what you will about blanketz with sleavez omfg retarded lol, it's warm and comfortable and makes lounging on the couch playing videogames much more comfortable during the winter months.

[Lord Relvenous]

Yeah, it's actually a clever product, and I think that's why it's selling so well. Fleece blankets of similar size are about the same price aren't they.

I don't think anyone in my apartment would have laughed at it if they didn't have it in red. It just looks like the person wearing it is a Catholic Cardinal in his casual robes.

[Phantasee]

Yeah, it's actually a clever product, and I think that's why it's selling so well. Fleece blankets of similar size are about the same price aren't they.

I don't think anyone in my apartment would have laughed at it if they didn't have it in red. It just looks like the person wearing it is a Catholic Cardinal in his casual robes.

Wait, how many Cardinals are there? Are they the target demographic?

[Master of Ossus]

It's just the way they advertise these things that's hilarious. How much trouble do people honestly have cooking eggs, rolling up garden hoses, and unfolding TV trays? It's the over-the-top way in which they make life seem so hard without their product that cracks me up.

[Hawkwings]

Anyone seen the Mighty Putty commercial? Now there's a better one!

oh yeah, some quick searching also revealed this dubbed snuggie commercial.

[Lord Relvenous]

Anyone seen the Mighty Putty commercial? Now there's a better one!

oh yeah, some quick searching also revealed this dubbed snuggie commercial.

Here's another good one for the snuggie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWHlvtWh ... re=related

Wait, how many Cardinals are there?

More than you know, Phant. The virus; it's spreading.

And to make a post that doesn't belong in Testing, how much do you guys think the company that makes these things is getting from all these sales? They probably get everything from overseas to make it cheaper, but even then how much of a profit could a company make on a product like this?

Note: The ShamWow actually works really well. My sister has a few.

[Straha]

THE FUCKING BASTARDS!

You know what pisses me off? They're fucking cheap skate copy cats. If you look up the Slanket you'll find A. The original and B. A far better quality product.

This is absurd and insane. Also, I fucking despise that infomercial. The damn thing is very very very nifty, but JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE IN A REGULAR BLANKET DOESN'T MEAN YOU SUDDENLY FORGET HOW TO ANSWER THE TELEPHONE! ALSO, I LOVE MY SLANKET BUT JUST BECAUSE I LIKE THE DAMN THING DOESN'T MEAN I'M GOING TO WEAR IT IN BLEEDING PUBLIC!

Fucking Infomercials.

[18-Till-I-Die]

Could we get some more Emoticons in here, someone used all of ours...



Mmm-hmmm. But seriously, it's a blanket with holes for your arm, looks kind of useful or fun. I mean i guess if you climb under there with your girlfriend (or whatever) i could think of some things to do which i would not want to stain up any actual blanets with.

But mind you i'm a pawing oversexed college bong head, your milage may vary.

[Chardok]

PS - The Sham-WOW guy is my personal hero and his name is not just Vince, but Vince Offer. I'm not shitting you. The guy is made of magic when it comes to selling anything. You may not even realize what he did in the Sham-WOW commercial, but I did, and it's why he's my hero.

He called you an idiot.

Oh yes, YOU. He called you a fucking moron. Don't believe me? Go back and watch it.

"...This lasts 10 years, this lasts a week. I dunno it sells itself."

Read: ...if you don't have one in your home right now, you're wrong.



"...You're gonna spend 20 dollars a month on paper towels, anyway, you're throwing your money away."

And there we have it. He just called you an idiot. Magical.

Let me be clear that I do not own a Sham-WOW, because I know it's a frickin' Chamois, despite what Vince says, but that's because I'm Jabba the Hutt to his Jedi Mind Trick. I recognize his power, and know that if I were anyone else, I would have succumbed to his silver-tongued shennanigans. Let's run over the reasons why you have to have a Sham-WOW or you will die:

1. Made in Germany

LIKE A BMW AND STUFF. Why in the goldbricking dogballs would you buy some piece of shit Taiwanese Dishtowel when this...this product is GERMAN. Why, it's like comparing an M5 to a 1975 Gremlin, you idiot! (PS - this is also aimed at the US Southern audience, could be translated as, Don't worry, this isn't made by slanties and no darkies were involved in the manufacture of this fine doodad.)

2. BEWARE OF IMITATORS

That's right - the Sham-WOW is the original Chamois, and anyone who tells you differently is fucking wrong. Those other so-called Shammies are pale, pale imitations of the real Sham-WOW. (PS - Chamois isn't real, they made that up. It's the towel equivalent of Deep Impact (others) to Armageddon (Sham-WOW)). PS - this is made in Germany, where they invented the Chamois. History tells us that the first Sham-WOWs were made from Human scalps. The Visigoths valued the ancient "Scalp-WOW" as both an absorbant material for cleaning house, and a handy dressing for battle wounds.

3. Cost Effective

Buy it and never buy paper towels again, you idiot. and call now, (Because they can't do it all day, except for every day all the time) and Vince will DOUBLE, DOUBLE your sham-WOW purchase. Also, you're being a good steward of the environment. Less paper towles made = less trees cut down. (Or, perhaps furniture prices will drop just a tad, who knows?)

Now, lets cut to the flea market.

Yes, I said flea market. Now - I know Vince had nothing to do with this part of the commercial because if he did, there would be flaming cars shaped like penises jumping through hoops of chlamydia laced with napalm (See what I did there?) They take people who obviously just received free samples and previously had never owned a Sham-WOW before talking about how JAWSOME life has been since they discovered this miracle of modren (Read: 1950's) technology.

Oh, I so have to get one after watching gigantor-pig-face woman who can barely open her fat, putrid quarter-pounder hole up "Oh, my gosh, I don't even buy paper towels anymore." *puke*

[The Yosemite Bear]

Wouldn't Infomercial People have their own Darwin Award Catagory?

[The Spartan]

I've been told there is another commercial by the same guy who does Sham-WOW that is hilarious, but I haven't seen it yet. Apparently it includes him talking about big balls or something.

Yeah it's for something they call the Slap Chop. It's one of those things you put on the counter, slap a handle on top and blades come out at the bottom chopping whatever food you put in it.

The line you were told about is, "You're going to love my nuts." He actually puts a bunch of peanuts in it and chops them, telling us that we're going to be charged a dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. But the line itself is just priceless.

[Darth Wong]

This reminds me of something I saw recently in one of those upscale sports clothing stores: a post-bathing towel-turban for women. You know how women wrap a towel around their heads after they get out of the bath or shower? This is an expensive towel that is marketed specifically for that purpose, as if it makes any difference whether you use a special turban-ready towel or just grab any old towel out of the cupboard.

[Vendetta]

PS - The Sham-WOW guy is my personal hero and his name is not just Vince, but Vince Offer. I'm not shitting you. The guy is made of magic when it comes to selling anything. You may not even realize what he did in the Sham-WOW commercial, but I did, and it's why he's my hero.

He called you an idiot.

He's selling you a product with Sham right there in the name. Of course he's calling you an idiot.

[Slacker]

I would get a good kick out of watching infomercials like the ones for the backwards bathrobe showing people failing epically trying to perform basic tasks if it weren't for how annoyed they make me. For example, I remember a product from a recent infomercial that looks like a small disco ball with the narrow part of a funnel attached to it. Watering house plants too hard and time consuming? Keep spilling water every attempt you make because you're retarded? Get our product, add water, and stick it in the soil next to your plants and you're all set! But wait! Order now and we'll add two more! And they come in different colors!

Well, those sort of actually have value in using them to keep your plants watered while you're on vacation. I admit, the commercial's retarded, but I was actually considering getting them because my fiancee and I have an herb garden indoors and we go away at times.

[Meest]

Well, those sort of actually have value in using them to keep your plants watered while you're on vacation. I admit, the commercial's retarded, but I was actually considering getting them because my fiancee and I have an herb garden indoors and we go away at times.

For the same price you can go to any garden store and get non-powered drip systems were you can actually set the amount of flow. With the option to water multiple spots with included hose systems if needed.

[Jaepheth]

These people specialize in taking a pre-existing product, relabeling it, and re-marketing it in a high profile manner, at higher markup.

Mighty putty? Quiksteel is sold at Walmart at half the cost and as far as I can tell is the exact same epoxy infused clay.

Tater Mitts? Rough gloves that peel vegetables? They're repurposed gloves originally meant to allow workers to handle wooden poles freshly treated with tar without slipping. Available in boxes of 50 pairs for what the commercial will charge you for a single pair.

Sham-Wow? I saw these microfiber towels at some bazaar when I was in elementary. The exact same sales pitch was used then. Just a different name, and (if I remember correctly) much lower cost.

Slanket to Snuggie has already been covered.

Oh, and their offers to double your order for "free" when you pay the additional shipping and handling? That's where they get you.


Personally, I'd rather buy two high quality blankets and just modify them to be one sleeved blanket.

[Kanastrous]

Good example of the importance of a name, though.

I can see myself getting under something called a snuggie.

I think I'd want a hot shower, after rubbing up against something called a slanket.

[Akumz Razor]

I just saw a commercial with Billy Mays hawking cheap health insurance. It was a surreal experience.

[Temjin]

\Billy Mays is amazing. BILLY MAYS IS AMAZING! HE TALKS WITH SO MUCH ENERGY! but hey pal you're wearing a mic i can hear you even when you talk normally

Still, as ridiculous as he is, I find him pretty effective. He is memorable and the products he represents tend to actually be pretty good. I see something in a store and go "hey Billy Mays sells that, it might be worth a try".

I'd have a hard time buying anything that BILLY MAYS! pitches. It's the bleed off of my absolute hatred of BILLY MAYS!'s voice. There's just something about BILLY MAYS!'s half shouting voice that makes me reach for remote as soon as possible. I don't know what it is, and I don't want to find out as that would entail me having to listen to his voice at least one more time in my life, and nothing is worth that.

[The Yosemite Bear]

I think Billy Mays is in 300, right?

Make no mistake, Oxyclean will get those blood stains out of that!

[Paradox]

Hey cool, now you can appease 2 Democratic leaders with one purchase!

Carter told everyone to save money by turning the thermostat down and wearing a sweater.

And Obama is going to make everyone wear a burka as soon as he turns the USA into an Islamic Caliphate.

Now all you'll have to do is a buy your wife the headscarf to go with it.

*DUCKS*