Toronto-area Darwin Award

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-03-14 07:59pm

The Toronto Star wrote:Highway death a stunt gone wrong

A man fell to his death Sunday while clowning around and climbing outside a moving minivan on Highway 401, police believe.

The victim has been identified as Daniel John Mason, 23, of Toronto.

An autopsy showed Mason's death was caused by blunt force trauma when his head hit the pavement.

The bizarre accident took place at 2 p.m. Sunday in the eastbound collector lanes of Highway 401 near Highway 400.

Uncertain whether they were dealing with death by misadventure or a homicide, police closed off the road for their investigation.

Traffic on Canada's busiest highway was halted for more than five hours.

Suspicions were raised because the minivan did not remain at the scene.

Within minutes of the incident, Ontario Provincial Police set up roadblocks in hopes of stopping the vehicle, described at the time as a burgundy Mercury Villager with tinted windows.

Police said a lawyer representing the driver contacted them yesterday to arrange a meeting.

A pathologist at the Centre of Forensic Science said Mason's injuries were consistent with the fall from the vehicle and foul play has been ruled out. Forensic tests are now being conducted to determine whether drugs or alcohol were in the victim's body.

Mason fell from the minivan while it was travelling at about 100 km/h in the eastbound collector lanes, just east of the Highway 400 exit.

Detective-Sergeant Ken Taylor of Toronto's homicide squad issued a statement saying witnesses observed Mason hanging from the van's side door while making an attempt to hold on to the roof of the vehicle.

Taylor said the victim lost his grip and fell to the pavement.

A number of cars following behind the minivan had slowed when they saw Mason climbing from the vehicle and managed to avoid striking him when he fell to the roadway.

Several people stopped and gave Mason first aid, but he died almost instantly from his injuries.

I guess this idiot watched too many movies, and thought it would be exhilarating to climb around on the outside of a minivan at highway speeds.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-03-14 08:03pm

An autopsy showed Mason's death was caused by blunt force trauma when his head hit the pavement.

No shit. Wonder how long that took to determine? For some reason it reminds me of a Mad TV episode with two medical examiners going over all the wounds on a body. To give you an idea of what there finding "Signs of forced sexual entry though the kneecaps" came up.

At the end though "cause of death, suicide"

Guy was a moron who has been thankfully removed from life.

God Emperor · Post by **God Emperor** » 2003-03-14 08:06pm

Well, I don't read about that every day.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-03-14 08:06pm

*winks, and gives a thumbs up*

Way to cleanse that gene pool son!

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2003-03-14 08:09pm

In the great words from an Arabic guy on a movie: "Ahahaha, skater boy I laugh at you!"

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-03-14 09:31pm

What the fuck? Highway surfing only works in movies and in Sam and Max.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-03-14 09:36pm

Lets hope that dick did`nt have kids.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-14 09:57pm

Montcalm wrote:Lets hope that dick did`nt have kids.

Well, he's only 23, which is quite young, and I don't think any woman would have sex with a jackass that climbs out of moving cars for a cheap thrill.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-03-14 10:06pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:
Montcalm wrote:Lets hope that dick did`nt have kids.
Well, he's only 23, which is quite young, and I don't think any woman would have sex with a jackass that climbs out of moving cars for a cheap thrill.

I dunno, there are always the idiots that really don't care...

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2003-03-15 03:51am

Montcalm wrote:Lets hope that dick did`nt have kids.

People aren't invalidated for a Darwin if they have kids. I'll find the thread on the Darwin BBS....

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-03-15 06:59am

Pcm979 wrote:
Montcalm wrote:Lets hope that dick did`nt have kids.
People aren't invalidated for a Darwin if they have kids. I'll find the thread on the Darwin BBS....

I know but if he had time to make one kid the idiocy gene has been passed on to the next generation.

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2003-03-15 07:07am

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:*winks, and gives a thumbs up*

Way to cleanse that gene pool son!

Now if only more dumb fucks like that would do it for us.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2003-03-15 08:13pm

Montcalm wrote:
Pcm979 wrote:
Montcalm wrote:Lets hope that dick did`nt have kids.
People aren't invalidated for a Darwin if they have kids. I'll find the thread on the Darwin BBS....
I know but if he had time to make one kid the idiocy gene has been passed on to the next generation.

That's a tad unfair. How do you know his kid's dumb?

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-03-15 08:34pm

A thousand to zero that the guy was drunk.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-03-15 09:42pm

Pcm979 wrote:
Montcalm wrote:
Pcm979 wrote:People aren't invalidated for a Darwin if they have kids. I'll find the thread on the Darwin BBS....
I know but if he had time to make one kid the idiocy gene has been passed on to the next generation.
That's a tad unfair. How do you know his kid's dumb?

You know the saying like father like son.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-03-15 09:51pm

Well my father was very smart(genius iq), so, it stands to reason...

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-03-15 09:53pm

darthdavid wrote:Well my father was very smart(genius iq), so, it stands to reason...

Not necessarily. You could have suffered a head injury in childhood or a temporary loss of oxygen to the brain during childbirth (there are a number of conditions which can cause this), thus stunting your brain development.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-03-15 10:01pm

darthdavid wrote:Well my father was very smart(genius iq), so, it stands to reason...

Or you could inherit the traits of your mother instead and become good at knitting and making meatloaf, damn thems fuzzy molecules.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2003-03-15 11:35pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:
Montcalm wrote:Lets hope that dick did`nt have kids.
Well, he's only 23, which is quite young, and I don't think any woman would have sex with a jackass that climbs out of moving cars for a cheap thrill.

HA! That's rich!

Tell us another funny!