36000 lbs of vegetable shortening stolen

[dragon]

Umm what?

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. (AP) — A truck containing 18 tons of Crisco sticks headed to a grocery store chain distribution center was stolen in a Florida city.

St. Petersburg Police say that a tractor-trailer containing the 36,000 pounds of vegetable shortening was snatched Sunday morning.

The truck was destined for a Publix distribution center in Lakeland. Authorities said the stolen tractor was a 2005 red Volvo, with a Florida tag and had the business name of "NS Express LLC on both sides of the cab. The trailer was a white Hyundai.

Crisco can be used for frying or making delicious baked goods.

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[Borgholio]

I wonder if someone's palm was greased to look the other way while the truck was stolen.

[TheFeniX]

A vehicle was stolen. The vehicle was made by Volvo. The trailer was made by Hyundai. Whether or not the contents were the desired object is unknown, but tractor-trailers are worth a lot of money. Also, Crisco is used for delicious baked goods.

[Isolder74]

I wonder if the next article will be about an black market pie factory for the clowns spooking people at night?

[Broomstick]

The flea market down the road from me has been known to sell a variety of stolen merchandise, including food. After all, when you obtain the product for no money all sales are pure profit.

Although the profits from black market Crisco would just be a dollop of gravy on the value of a tractor-trailer.

[RogueIce]

And besides, the trailer had the wonderfully generic "NS Express LLC" written on the sides. I doubt the thieves had any idea what was in the truck when they stole it. As mentioned, the truck and trailer alone could net a tidy profit. If they got lucky and it was shipping TVs or other electronics, then bonus points. It wouldn't terribly surprise me though if they find a bunch of abandoned boxes or crates or however they were being shipped of cooking oil, though. Unless there is a considerable Crisco black market I'm unaware of.

[RogueIce]

Another story mentions a second trailer was broken into; this one with Amazon.com boxes. Maybe they were hoping they'd get lucky on the one they could drive off?

[Broomstick]

Reminds me a bit of this theft as far as the WTF were they intending with the cargo. A little less radioactive, of course. I guess truck thieves don't always know exactly what they're taking.

[Raw Shark]

And besides, the trailer had the wonderfully generic "NS Express LLC" written on the sides. I doubt the thieves had any idea what was in the truck when they stole it. As mentioned, the truck and trailer alone could net a tidy profit. If they got lucky and it was shipping TVs or other electronics, then bonus points. It wouldn't terribly surprise me though if they find a bunch of abandoned boxes or crates or however they were being shipped of cooking oil, though. Unless there is a considerable Crisco black market I'm unaware of.

Crisco sticks are solid shortening, not oil, and last a pretty long time. They're shelf-stable (in fact they recommend not refrigerating it, "for ease of blending"), and the package says, "For best results use within 1 year of opening." Unless they have nowhere to store it without getting caught, they'd be dumping a very large amount of useable food for nothing. The black market thing would be entirely doable on a small scale; they could tell all their friends and family, "Yeah, I went crazy at Costco and got a huge case of these things. You can have as many as you want for a buck each, just let me know."

[LaCroix]

"No, really, I had coupons for them! I got all of those for free!"

[Raw Shark]

Not free, just on the deep discount, and now I don't have any room in my pantry...

[Zaune]

A vehicle was stolen. The vehicle was made by Volvo. The trailer was made by Hyundai. Whether or not the contents were the desired object is unknown, but tractor-trailers are worth a lot of money. Also, Crisco is used for delicious baked goods.

Either that or they just jacked the wrong truck. Happened around here a few years ago; a couple of ne'er-do-wells found themselves in possession of forty tons of baby formula instead of the flatscreen TVs they were expecting.