Wow. 4 games. That'll teach him! Next make him stand in the corner for 10 minutes then write "I will not ask dumbass low paid equipment guys to deflate balls for me anymore in exchange for shit with my signature on it, I promise!" 100 times on the blackboard. Then he can't play with the toy blocks for a week, because obviously this is fucking Kindergarten and not something involving a billions of dollars industry.
He should have at least been suspended a year and have to forfeit his Super Bowl ring to be sold at auction for a charity of sterling repute, where
HIS $10 million fine should go.
And I'm not saying they'd have lost the AFC championship game and not gone on to win the Super Bowl with the worst call ever by a head coach (who should be forced to drag a massive wooden
12 up the steepest hill in Seattle (and there are some steep hills!), have his cock pierced (a few months a
head (hee hee) of time so it's not
too barbaric, and have the following tattooed on his dick in a swirled, wrapping around style (even if a microscope be required):
"GIVE THE FUCKING BALL TO MARSHAWN LYNCH" on the "S" in "Marshawn" drawn like a Seahawks neon green Skittle.) I'm simply saying that this is the second time the New England Patriots (now to be called the
"New EnglandCheatriots" for all football time. So basically until Brady and
Bellicheat (also for all football time) leave the New England Cheatriots in all capacities, or in Bill Bellicheat's case, death.
SO IT IS BY ROYAL DECREE! ANY OBJECTIONS?
Oh, there appears to be a large group of Bostonians (Southies by the look, smell of cheap vodka, and general male shirtlessness) objecting. I believe I've heard the words and phrase "F***ot", "R***rd", and "Jew York N***er-Lover" screamed at our Royal Grace (me). Luckily, as South Bostonians are not actually people, we're going to take them for dissection, mainly of the small, heavily bone encased (at least 3 inches thick at the thinnest point), and highly pickled brain matter.
Oh, and uh: Fuck Tom Brady and the New England Cheatriots, Bill Bellicheat, and double-fuck the NFL for only giving someone who's cheating had a direct impact on the game (and likely has before and for awhile) a fucking 4 game suspension when Adrian Petersen was out for a year (rightfully so, IMO) for something with nothing to do with the NFL (beyond the morality clause) or the games in which he played.
But then again, all this proves once again is that Tom Brady is a special snowflake in the NFL. But the sun's setting Tommy-Boy! You're getting no younger. And you might not even get into the NFL Hall of Fame for a few years at least after eligible and hopefully, because you're a twice caught cheating cunt, never. Especially if/when they catch you again. But that's almost certainly too much to hope for with Goodell giving Bob Kraft blowjobs on request. The guy who got jacked of a SB ring by Vladimir Putin (he steals everything! Rights, dignity, vodka, Crimea... The list would go on, but I'm afraid he'll steal my good weed.
) get's blowjobs on command from the commissioner of the NFL. God bless America.