More tasteless dead baby jokes
Q: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass every ten seconds?
A: Dead baby in a carousel microwave!
Q: What's blue and knocks on glass?
A: A baby in a fishtank
Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face!
Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender face first?
A: So you can see it's feet pulling up into tiny little fists
Q. What is brown and keeps it's juices in?
A. A baby in an oven bag.
Funny joke
Moderator: Edi
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Nathan F
- Resident Redneck
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- Contact:
Post 1662.fgalkin wrote:Post 1756
Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin
Anyways...
*as the great nuclear army of the VRWC rumbled across the placid plains of idiocy and liberalism, the Illuminati and Freemasons started the overthrow of all left-wing governments on earth to bring them into the fold of conservatism!*
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HemlockGrey
- Fucking Awesome
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FGALKIN! EINHANDER! STOP THE FUCKING SPAMMING!
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
How about some Blond jokes?
Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal
her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are
all in the middle row.
Q: Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped?
A: Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper
Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal
her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are
all in the middle row.
Q: Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped?
A: Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper
Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either.
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Einhander Sn0m4n
- Insane Railgunner
- Posts: 18630
- Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
- Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.
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HemlockGrey
- Fucking Awesome
- Posts: 13834
- Joined: 2002-07-04 03:21pm
It's not a flamewar and it's not trolling. If you do not like it, do not read it.I'll stop. I'm sorry. We're trying to get this thread HoSed. Something about RayCav jokes kinda makes me wanna do that. :/
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
It goes with the "Rabid Monkey" thing, but yeah, sometimes I gross myself out with the things I say.Montcalm wrote:aerius you are sick twisted and demented i like that
So...who wants to hear more dead baby jokes?
Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either.
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God Emperor
- Jedi Knight
- Posts: 637
- Joined: 2002-11-18 08:10pm
- Location: somewhere I don't want to be
The blond ones are better.aerius wrote:It goes with the "Rabid Monkey" thing, but yeah, sometimes I gross myself out with the things I say.Montcalm wrote:aerius you are sick twisted and demented i like that
So...who wants to hear more dead baby jokes?
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
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Colonel Olrik
- The Spaminator
- Posts: 6121
- Joined: 2002-08-26 06:54pm
- Location: Munich, Germany
I've just spent a few quality minutes axing the spam out of this thread, along with fgalkin's & company PC. I thought people had already understood this, but it appears I was wrong.
When a mod doesn't notice a thread or is off-line, HE'S NOT NOTICING A THREAD OR IS OFF-LINE!
Posting a thousand +1 doesn't change that fact, due to the laws of logic.
So, please, avoid it in the future.
Regarding this thread, it is true that AB post was incredibly tasteless, but the others are not, including the first one. A better approach, rather than closing the thread, would be splitting the offending material and HOS it. But I don't see the need.
When a mod doesn't notice a thread or is off-line, HE'S NOT NOTICING A THREAD OR IS OFF-LINE!
Posting a thousand +1 doesn't change that fact, due to the laws of logic.
So, please, avoid it in the future.
Regarding this thread, it is true that AB post was incredibly tasteless, but the others are not, including the first one. A better approach, rather than closing the thread, would be splitting the offending material and HOS it. But I don't see the need.
I personally didn't like the jokes AnarchistBunny put up.
Why? Because I KNOW a girl that was raped when she was 4 yrs old. her father's still in jail after being railroaded for the crime, despite evidence to the contrary.
It took 5 operations before Katie could use the bathroom again.
Why? Because I KNOW a girl that was raped when she was 4 yrs old. her father's still in jail after being railroaded for the crime, despite evidence to the contrary.
It took 5 operations before Katie could use the bathroom again.
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
Another Blonde joke:
How do you confuse a blonde?
Stick her in a round room and tell her to get the coin in the corner.
How does the blonde confuse you?
She comes out with a coin.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Stick her in a round room and tell her to get the coin in the corner.
How does the blonde confuse you?
She comes out with a coin.
"preemptive killing of cops might not be such a bad idea from a personal saftey[sic] standpoint..." --Keevan Colton
"There's a word for bias you can't see: Yours." -- William Saletan
"There's a word for bias you can't see: Yours." -- William Saletan
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Colonel Olrik
- The Spaminator
- Posts: 6121
- Joined: 2002-08-26 06:54pm
- Location: Munich, Germany
I also disliked his jokes. However, I have many times laughed at and told others racist, xenophobic, women, etc, jokes, while I certainly would strongly disagree with them if taken seriously. Posting that stuff doesn't make him a criminal (at least, with no further evidence), only a party killer with a set of bad jokes.LadyTevar wrote:I personally didn't like the jokes AnarchistBunny put up.
Why? Because I KNOW a girl that was raped when she was 4 yrs old. her father's still in jail after being railroaded for the crime, despite evidence to the contrary.
It took 5 operations before Katie could use the bathroom again.
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Grand Admiral Thrawn
- Ruthless Imperial Tyrant
- Posts: 5755
- Joined: 2002-07-03 06:11pm
- Location: Canada
A couple of alcohol jokes lifted from elsewhere:
From the State of Texas, where drinking and driving is considered a sport, comes a true story about drinking wisely. Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a local neighborhood bar. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his own car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles. At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street.
The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a Breathalyzer test. To his amazement the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station. This Breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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Snake slithers into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here."
"Why not?" asks the snake.
"You can't hold your liquor."
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Two Irish guys are stranded in a small boat, lost at sea. They come upon a bottle, pull out the cork and out comes a Genie.
The Genie says, "I will grant you one wish"
Before they can discuss it, the first Irish guy says, "I want the whole ocean to be made out of beer" POOF! The whole ocean is made out of beer!
The other Irish guy looks at the first and says "Oh great! Now we have to pee in the boat!"
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And one that isn't:
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. He approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, may we help you?"
"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied. The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. "Because", replies the receptionist, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private." The man walked out, waited several minutes and then reentered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked "Yes?" "There's something wrong with my ear" he stated. "I can't piss out of it."
From the State of Texas, where drinking and driving is considered a sport, comes a true story about drinking wisely. Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a local neighborhood bar. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his own car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles. At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street.
The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a Breathalyzer test. To his amazement the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station. This Breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
--------------
Snake slithers into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here."
"Why not?" asks the snake.
"You can't hold your liquor."
----------------
Two Irish guys are stranded in a small boat, lost at sea. They come upon a bottle, pull out the cork and out comes a Genie.
The Genie says, "I will grant you one wish"
Before they can discuss it, the first Irish guy says, "I want the whole ocean to be made out of beer" POOF! The whole ocean is made out of beer!
The other Irish guy looks at the first and says "Oh great! Now we have to pee in the boat!"
-----------------
And one that isn't:
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. He approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, may we help you?"
"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied. The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. "Because", replies the receptionist, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private." The man walked out, waited several minutes and then reentered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked "Yes?" "There's something wrong with my ear" he stated. "I can't piss out of it."
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Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
- What Kind of Username is That?
- Posts: 9254
- Joined: 2002-07-10 08:53pm
- Location: Back in PA
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in 3rd grade. Who's tallest?
The blonde, because she's 19.
Why do more people die because of donkeys each year than plane crashes?
There are a lot of white supremacists with angry lovers.
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are usually over a dollar, but deer nuts are always under a buck.
The blonde, because she's 19.
Why do more people die because of donkeys each year than plane crashes?
There are a lot of white supremacists with angry lovers.
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are usually over a dollar, but deer nuts are always under a buck.
BotM: Just another monkey|HAB
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Montcalm
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 7879
- Joined: 2003-01-15 10:50am
- Location: Montreal Canada North America
At a night club a woman approaches the bar,and in a seductive tone she ask the bartender if he`s the owner he replies no, she then brushes his hair and ask him if she can talk with him,he says sorry you can`t,then then she caresses his lips with her fingers he sucks them and she tell him,there is no paper and no soap in the washroom. 
Jerry Orbach 1935 2004
Admiral Valdemar~You know you've fucked up when Wacky Races has more realistic looking vehicles than your own.
A pregnant woman walks into a bank, and lines up at the first available teller. Just at that moment the bank gets robbed and she is shot three times in the stomach. She gets rushed to the hospital where she gets fixed up.
As she leaves she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor says, "You're going to have triplets. They're fine but each one has a bullet lodged in its stomach. Don't worry though the bullets will pass through their system through normal metabolism."
As time goes on the woman has three children. Two girls and a boy. Twelve years later, one of the girls comes up to her mother and says, "Mommy, I've done a very weird thing".
Her mother asks her what happened and her daughter replies, "I passed a bullet into the toilet".
The woman comforts her and explains all about the incident at the bank.
A few weeks later, her other daughter comes up to her with tears streaming from her eyes. "Mommy, I've done a very bad thing".
The mother says, "Let me guess. You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?".
The daughter looks up from her teary eyes and says, "Yes. How did you know?".
The mother comforts her child and explains about the incident at the bank.
A month later her son comes up and says, "Mommy, I've done a very bad thing".
The mother says, "You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?".
The son replies, "No, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
As she leaves she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor says, "You're going to have triplets. They're fine but each one has a bullet lodged in its stomach. Don't worry though the bullets will pass through their system through normal metabolism."
As time goes on the woman has three children. Two girls and a boy. Twelve years later, one of the girls comes up to her mother and says, "Mommy, I've done a very weird thing".
Her mother asks her what happened and her daughter replies, "I passed a bullet into the toilet".
The woman comforts her and explains all about the incident at the bank.
A few weeks later, her other daughter comes up to her with tears streaming from her eyes. "Mommy, I've done a very bad thing".
The mother says, "Let me guess. You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?".
The daughter looks up from her teary eyes and says, "Yes. How did you know?".
The mother comforts her child and explains about the incident at the bank.
A month later her son comes up and says, "Mommy, I've done a very bad thing".
The mother says, "You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?".
The son replies, "No, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
「かかっ―」
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Lord Pounder
- Pretty Hate Machine
- Posts: 9695
- Joined: 2002-11-19 04:40pm
- Location: Belfast, unfortunately
- Contact:
An irishman is away in holiday to Thailand on holiday. He picks up a prossie and takes her back to his room and is getting ready to shag her. Just before the Irish man hit's it he asks "Do, un, you have the AIDS?"
The Prossie is offended "NO, I'm clean, I always make client wear rubber"
The Irishman breathes a sigh of relief "Thank fuck for that, i'd hate to get it twice"
The Prossie is offended "NO, I'm clean, I always make client wear rubber"
The Irishman breathes a sigh of relief "Thank fuck for that, i'd hate to get it twice"
RIP Yosemite Bear
Gone, Never Forgotten
Gone, Never Forgotten