Worst technobabble ever?

Faram · Post by **Faram** » 2003-04-10 07:00am

[url=http://www.trendax.com/htmlindex.html]Fat Fuck AKA Kimble wrote:[/url]
Trendax is an automated trading system operating simultaneously on multiple markets. Its AI-based decision system selects the optimal combination of trading strategies for current market conditions. Trendax specializes in the all major future markets: stocks, bonds, currencies and commodities. Although mainly focused on future markets, Trendax also operates on other markets for optimization and hedging purposes.

Trendax is able to improve itself by continuously back-testing multiple scenarios and varying the strategy parameters. Trendax uses a complex combination of sophisticated technical analysis, real-time content analysis of news feeds, multi-dimensional statistical analysis and advanced proprietary mathematical techniques. Its sophisticated trade management, thus limiting the downside risk while maximizing profits. Trendax is a fault-tolerant distributed system with multiple nodes located in strategic locations all over the world, ensuring that all trades are successfully executed even in the event of any failure in the system

I think my brain just melted

Boba Fett · Post by **Boba Fett** » 2003-04-10 07:16am

Sounds like an advert for a software.

Tells a lot but you can't get any info on how it works really.

Hamel · Post by **Hamel** » 2003-04-10 07:53am

How many buzzwords can you fit in a paragraph

Let's find out

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-04-10 08:30am

Not really technobabble per se, but what about the movie "Galaxy Quest" where a wormhole was called a "black hole??"

That's quite an offender.

Warspite · Post by **Warspite** » 2003-04-10 08:38am

Not really, since most is mathemathical and statistical talk. Technobabble tends to confuse the reader with meaningless unrelated terms that hide the real, useless, meaning.
Nah, I've seen worse...

paladin · Post by **paladin** » 2003-04-10 08:42am

Hamel wrote:How many buzzwords can you fit in a paragraph

Let's find out

Using all those "buzzwords," marketing must have worked overtime.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-04-10 08:58am

And what about the dialogue in Vampire Men Of The Lost Planet?

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-04-10 10:06am

Simon H.Johansen wrote:Not really technobabble per se, but what about the movie "Galaxy Quest" where a wormhole was called a "black hole??"

That's quite an offender.

It was a Tim Allen movie. What did you expect--did you think they had Stephen Hawking as their technical advisor or something?

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-04-10 10:59am

RedImperator wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Not really technobabble per se, but what about the movie "Galaxy Quest" where a wormhole was called a "black hole??"

That's quite an offender.
It was a Tim Allen movie. What did you expect--did you think they had Stephen Hawking as their technical advisor or something?

Maybe the movie wasn't serious, but it's fairly common knowledge that black holes aren't the same as wormholes.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-04-10 11:04am

Maybe the movie wasn't serious, but it's fairly common knowledge that black holes aren't the same as wormholes.

To whom is that common knowledge, sci fi geeks like you and me?

I'm willing to bet that your average Joe on the street doesn't even know what a wormhole is.

Xon · Post by **Xon** » 2003-04-10 11:42am

Faram wrote:
[url=http://www.trendax.com/htmlindex.html]Fat Fuck AKA Kimble wrote:[/url]
Trendax is an automated trading system operating simultaneously on multiple markets. Its AI-based decision system selects the optimal combination of trading strategies for current market conditions. Trendax specializes in the all major future markets: stocks, bonds, currencies and commodities. Although mainly focused on future markets, Trendax also operates on other markets for optimization and hedging purposes.

Trendax is able to improve itself by continuously back-testing multiple scenarios and varying the strategy parameters. Trendax uses a complex combination of sophisticated technical analysis, real-time content analysis of news feeds, multi-dimensional statistical analysis and advanced proprietary mathematical techniques. Its sophisticated trade management, thus limiting the downside risk while maximizing profits. Trendax is a fault-tolerant distributed system with multiple nodes located in strategic locations all over the world, ensuring that all trades are successfully executed even in the event of any failure in the system
I think my brain just melted

That isnt technobabble, makes perfect sense(Skim reading it isnt a good idea). A few of the claims are a bit stupid, but good marketting moves

As far as computer jargon filled text goes, that is nothing.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-04-10 12:44pm

Stravo wrote:
Maybe the movie wasn't serious, but it's fairly common knowledge that black holes aren't the same as wormholes.
To whom is that common knowledge, sci fi geeks like you and me?

I'm willing to bet that your average Joe on the street doesn't even know what a wormhole is.

Unless he's a fisherman.

And it may be that I've watched too much Star Trek, but I think I actually understood what that thing said.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-04-10 01:00pm

Stravo wrote:
Maybe the movie wasn't serious, but it's fairly common knowledge that black holes aren't the same as wormholes.
To whom is that common knowledge, sci fi geeks like you and me?

I'm willing to bet that your average Joe on the street doesn't even know what a wormhole is.

It's common knowledge to anyone who knows anything about astrophysics. At least here in Denmark.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-04-10 07:07pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Stravo wrote:
Maybe the movie wasn't serious, but it's fairly common knowledge that black holes aren't the same as wormholes.
To whom is that common knowledge, sci fi geeks like you and me?

I'm willing to bet that your average Joe on the street doesn't even know what a wormhole is.
It's common knowledge to anyone who knows anything about astrophysics. At least here in Denmark.

I knew before the 5th grade...

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-04-10 07:50pm

I kind of figured it out at four years old, watching ST:TMP in the theater... at least the basic part that any Joe on the street would know -- it's a tunnel in space. (Which may or may not be correct, but that's probably what the average layperson would be able to tell you.)

Larz · Post by **Larz** » 2003-04-10 07:59pm

All you need to fix that paragraph is to switch the polarities of it...

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-04-10 08:22pm

Regarding Galaxy Quest:

Dude, people, it's a parody of Star Trek. Of course they would intentionally butcher terms, litter dialogue with technobabble (that whole deal with the beryllium sphere comes to mind), and use idiotic control system (that transporter thing), and whatnot.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-04-10 09:23pm

It is advertisement jargon. Jargon for both software users and stock brokers is mixed so neither will know what it means, and both are likely to buy the product.

BTW, Warsprite: S'Jet FOREVER!

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Worst technobabble ever?

Worst technobabble ever?

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