Dumped...

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-07-30 12:41pm

Enforcer Talen wrote:fuckbuddies is word for it out here.

can be fun if youve just met.

Ive found it a *very* bad idea with an ex.

boff buddies is the slightly more cleaned up version.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2003-07-30 01:50pm

Don't go into the "Boff Buddy" relationship if only because you'd be experiencing it at a different level then her, you hoping for a return to things as they once were, she hoping for a nice time.
I'm sorry to hear what happened, and hope things can get better.

P.S Any idea why she broke up with you from the back channels? (like her friends, and such)

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2003-08-03 04:48pm

Sorry to resurrect, and this will probably be my last comment, as I hate thread necromancy.

Turns out, that I was wrong in jumping-to-conclusion on her wanting to be more than friends being friends who have sex.

Both of us discussed in the past about the inherent instability and dysfunction common with couples who break and immediately go out again.

She says she wishes she hadn't done what she did, and what she did meant was she wanted to go back to just dating for awhile (taking a step back to where our relationship was before we became exclusive and official). She says that she has issues with commitment she needs to work out, that she isn't sure she wants to be tied down for her senior year, but on the same note, that she didn't want to date anyone else.

I made it clear that as long as she can't honestly commit to me, I'm not going to sleep with her, and that if she likes or dates other guys, I'm gone. I really don't know what to make of things, because she seems unsure if she's afraid to be a binding relationship right now, or if she wants to work out her issues (due to her family and past relationship dysfunction and even abuse at the hands of an ex, I'm suprised she's doing as well as she has).

I'm willing to wait and hope, but I'm not willing to be her back-up or guy-on-the-side, or just a source of fun. Hence why I'm not going to sleep with her, nor am I going to stick around if other guys show up. On a note though, I saw her last week a couple days after what happened, and it was really great. We went out, and it was better than has been in a month. I'm really unsure here.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-08-03 05:31pm

Well, good luck, and may the best possible outcome for you occur.

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2003-08-03 07:16pm

Thanks, but does anyone (preferably older) have a pearl of wisdom or insight into this?

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-08-03 09:27pm

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Thanks, but does anyone (preferably older) have a pearl of wisdom or insight into this?

In a race between a snail and a rock, don't varnish your clams.

Can't help you anymore than that. Like I said in my first post in this thread I have no experience, and that probably won't change anytime soon.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-08-04 04:08am

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Thanks, but does anyone (preferably older) have a pearl of wisdom or insight into this?

I think you're probably too involved in her to want to go back to dating, but if you really don't want to split up with her and think you can handle it, then it may be worth waiting for ehr to work through her problems (and helping her to do so, of course).

You need to do what you feel is best here, so have a big think about what you want, and what you think you can live with.

Good luck.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-08-04 04:30am

Another one, at least Sarah and I are still friends...