You Know You're A Redneck Jedi When...

theski · Post by **theski** » 2003-10-06 11:08am

You hear . . . "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..."

You ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookiees are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up.

You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-10-06 11:10am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-10-06 12:28pm

"Luke, I am your father... and your uncle!" Funny stuff.

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-10-06 01:07pm

Hehe, good stuff there. I remember getting something to that affect in an email a few years back.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-10-06 01:24pm

theski wrote:
You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

On this part i say SCHWING

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-10-06 01:26pm

Funny but ancient.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-10-06 01:57pm

2000AD wrote:Funny but ancient.

Reeeeeally ancient. But the standup comic who did that one is actually a hoot, too.

My personal favorite is still 'Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot "' though...

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-10-06 03:35pm

Lol!

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-10-06 07:28pm

You ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-10-06 07:51pm

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

Tastes like...chicken.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

Who hasn't?

Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

Hm, green alien chicks in skimpy bikinis that show all in any overt motion...?

Yep, damn straight!

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2003-10-06 09:37pm

Mmmmmmmm, Leia...........

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-10-07 05:38am

RogueIce wrote:
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
Tastes like...chicken.

Tastes like human, sir!

Why oh why did I take a mouthful of tea while waiting for this thread to load?

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2003-10-08 02:22pm

You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

Dah duh duh!

You forgot to include how many speeders up on blocks there were and if they were working or not!

Rubberanvil · Post by **Rubberanvil** » 2003-10-08 03:02pm

Singular Quartet wrote:
2000AD wrote:Funny but ancient.
Reeeeeally ancient. But the standup comic who did that one is actually a hoot, too.

Jeff Foxworthy is the name.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-10-09 09:12am

Are there a list of signs that you're a Redneck Sith?

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-10-09 11:19am

Simon H.Johansen wrote:Are there a list of signs that you're a Redneck Sith?

The Imperial March is being played on the banjo?

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-10-09 11:27am

Simon H.Johansen wrote:Are there a list of signs that you're a Redneck Sith?

You Know You're A Redneck Sith When...

You hear "At last, we'all are gon' get some revenge, ya hear?"

Your Infiltrator has flames painted on the fuselage.

Your speeder bike takes at least three kicks to start working.

You smacked one of your seeker droids for giving you backtalk.

You call your Death Star your 'popgun'.

You refer to Geonosions as 'critters'.

You ripped out your Star Destroyer's sound system and added subwoofers.

The name 'Robert E. Lee' is printed on your lanvarok.

You thought Qui-Gon deserved to die because he was supporting 'Repulic aggression'.

You still say the Seperatists won the Civil War.

EDIT:

You play the Imperial March on the banjo.

How's that?

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-10-09 11:28am

Gandalf wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Are there a list of signs that you're a Redneck Sith?
The Imperial March is being played on the banjo?

That's a good one!

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-10-10 08:40am

Kuja wrote:The name 'Robert E. Lee' is printed on your lanvarok.

Erm.. what's a lanvarok?

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-10-10 09:40am

Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Kuja wrote:The name 'Robert E. Lee' is printed on your lanvarok.
Erm.. what's a lanvarok?

IIRC it's some form of Sith Torture Device or weapon

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-10-10 12:32pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Kuja wrote:The name 'Robert E. Lee' is printed on your lanvarok.
Erm.. what's a lanvarok?

It's a Sith club that works best when the user is left-handed.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-10-10 03:47pm

Okay - my additions to the Redneck Sith list:

Ysanne Isard or Asajj Ventress is your idea of a "fine Southern belle."

Instead of the ordinary Sith robes, you wear a black version of the KKK robe-and-hood.

You have a Confederate flag painted on the side of your SSD.

You are known as "Darth Yokel."

Your double-ended lightsabre used to be a rake.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-10-11 01:29am

Simon H.Johansen wrote: Ysanne Isard or Asajj Ventress is your idea of a "fine Southern belle."

Instead of the ordinary Sith robes, you wear a black version of the KKK robe-and-hood.

You have a Confederate flag painted on the side of your SSD.

You are known as "Darth Yokel."

Your double-ended lightsabre used to be a rake.

1. Who's Asajj Ventress?

2. I think the second one should be reworded a bit: "Instead of Sith robes, you wear a black KKK uniform."

3. "Darth Yokel"

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-10-11 02:31am

Kuja wrote: 1. Who's Asajj Ventress?

A female Dark Jedi from the Clone Wars comics, who is famous for regularly using two lightsabers at once.

A picture of Ventress

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-10-11 03:42am

Ok where is:

1. you watch Pod racing relgiously, including having the blue force ghost of Dale Ernhart hovering around you.

2. You have some how managed to over coustomize a correllian frieghter to the point where only another redneck jedi/sith can possibly pilot it.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

You Know You're A Redneck Jedi When...

You Know You're A Redneck Jedi When...

Re: You Know You're A Redneck Jedi When...

Re: You Know You're A Redneck Jedi When...

Re: You Know You're A Redneck Jedi When...